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It is abundantly clear that discretion is in some way the source and root of all virtues.  …True discretion is not obtained except by true humility.

(2^nd Conference: On Discretion – Chs. 9-10.1)

In the Eastern traditions, we are accustomed to the image of a sishya (disciple) sitting at the feet of the guru (master).  While glancing through The Conferences, one comes across a similar imagery with two young men, John Cassian and his friend, sitting at the feet of the great spiritual masters who lived in the Egyptian desert.  Cassian, who was born around 360 CE into an affluent family in modern day Romania, entered the monastery in Bethlehem along with his friend around the year 378-80.  Later they travelled to Egypt and spent nearly seven years with some of the great spiritual masters of that time.  They then returned to Bethlehem and from there moved to Constantinople where John Chrysostom ordained Cassian to the diaconate in the year 399.  Subsequently he and his friend went to Rome where Cassian was ordained a priest.  It was during his stay in Rome that his friend passed away.  Towards the end of his life, he went to Marseilles, France, where he established two monasteries: St. Victor for men and St. Salvator for women.  He died around the year 432.

While in Marseilles, Cassian wrote three works – The Institutes, The Conferences and On the Incarnation of Christ against Nestorius.  The first two are excellent treatises on spiritual life, while the third is the only Western work that refutes the Christology of Nestorius. The Institutes focus on monastic life and deals with themes such as the garb of the monk, organized community prayer and other matters dealing with the life of monks.  Books Four to Twelve analyze eight vices that hamper the spiritual life of a person.  Methods to overcome them are also offered by Cassian.  The Conferences is a larger work and the translation by Boniface Ramsey (Newman Press: New Jersey, 1997) has 860 pages.  It contains twenty-four separate conferences that are made up of conversations with fifteen different Abbas.  The Abbas were holy men who were models of virtue – they were wise, humble, prudent and moderate.  The text is presented in the form of a dialogue and the two seekers pose questions to the wise men, who respond by offering a discourse that weaves together the Christian faith, offers insights regarding spiritual life and analyses human behavior.  These points are substantiated with concrete examples.

The quote at the start of this article is from Abba Moses, a holy man of the desert who indicates that discretion and humility are two important pillars in any spiritual process.  The history of spirituality reveals many instances of excesses – of bizarre ascetical practices or total disregard for it and living by the pleasure principle. Cassian affirmed that asceticism was necessary for spiritual growth, but advised discretion to avoid harming the individual. The works/writings reveal Cassian and Germanus as humble seekers who were willing to make sacrifices in order to acquire wisdom.  By picking up the best practices from the monastic tradition of the East, and filtering them through his personal experience, Cassian has handed down to spirituality the best available practices of early monastic life.  The three renunciations and four levels of prayer enumerated by him continue to enlighten seekers even today. As we travel across the country or around the globe, we often find seekers looking for authentic gurus who can show them the Way, point out the Truth and lead them to the Light.  May we become authentic seekers as well as wise gurus – humble, prudent, pure of heart and growing in perfect apostolic love.

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A True Story about Why We Sabotage Ourselves, Feel Overwhelmed, Set Aside Our Dreams, and Lack the Courage to Simply Be Ourselves (Beacon Publishing, 2016)

“Kelly wrote an engaging, uplifting book equal to any secular self-help advice on the market, except that God is embedded deeply into the narrative.” (Patti Armstrong)

Among the genre of self-improvement books, Matthew Kelly’s Resisting Happiness is a book that stands apart. It redefines human happiness from a Catholic perspective.  The subtitle explains the plan and purpose of the book. Kelly speaks of his work as his most personal book. He reveals his own journey in faith which is about the quest for true happiness. Each chapter engages the reader with anecdotes written in direct, lucid language, with a brief summary of the key idea in each chapter and Action Steps to the reader.

Kelly leads us to explore the various aspects of human happiness. He points out that we are created for happiness.  God wants us to be happy more than we do. God has designed each person with a specific purpose. It is to be the-very-best-version-of-ourselves. We fall short of it because of our resistance to the plan. Paradoxically, even when we know what will make us happy, we refuse to do it.  It takes us down the path of mediocrity, preventing us from enjoying the abundance of life that Jesus offered. Our habits and selfishness stand in the way. Joy of life can be achieved only by surrendering to God’s will. “The hardest war to win is one you don’t even realize you are fighting, and the hardest enemy to defeat is the one you don’t even know exists. Every day you are at war with resistance.”

The book calls us to examine our priorities in life. Several contemporary notions of happiness are based on materialism, individualism and instant gratification. The way to true happiness is the opposite of this. We have to get out of ourselves and serve others. This will help us discover our innate ability to make a difference in other people’s lives and build our self- esteem and joyfulness.

Self –discipline is vital.  Our awareness about self-denial; self-control, delayed gratification, and fasting has been part of the two thousand years of Catholic genius. “God wants you to live an excellent life. In that quest for excellence you will find a rare happiness.” St. Augustine tells us that our self-conquest makes the world lie at our feet. However, when we begin to practice self- discipline, we will also experience greater resistance to any type of self-denial that strengthens us.  It makes us settle down to mediocrity. It is important to be gentle with ourselves. This is connected to forgiveness. Self- forgiveness helps us forgive others. If we cannot do this, we will be resistant to God’s forgiveness. This patience with ourselves helps develop compassion, which is the key to connecting ourselves with others.

To quote Kelly, “God does not want his people to be negative thinkers … he wants us to be positive thinkers on an epic scale.”  

We have to approach life with the attitude of a pilgrim and a not that of a tourist. We are not just passing through; we have a journey with a destination. No wonder Kelly can write, “We are always hungry for something more complete, and God is that completeness that we yearn for from the depths of our soul.”    

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Here is an unfortunate incident. Sr Elizabeth receives a phone call from her home with the shocking news that her nephew died in an accident. She had spoken to him that morning, when he greeted her for her birthday. With the desire to see him for the last time, she approaches her superior for permission to go home for the funeral. The permission is denied. In a similar situation in the same community, Sr Josephine, who is an earning physician, is not only given permission to go for the funeral, but the same superior takes initiative in booking a flight for her. The question arises: where is our fundamental equality of dignity?

The Codes of Canon Law speak about the fundamental equality of dignity: “Flowing from their rebirth in Christ, there is a genuine equality of dignity and action among all of Christ’s faithful.  Because of this equality they all contribute, each according to his or her own condition and office, to the building up of the Body of Christ.” “Based on their rebirth in Christ, there is truly an equality of dignity and activity among all the Christian faithful.  In virtue of this dignity, they all cooperate, each according to his or her own condition and function, in the building up of the Body of Christ.” (CIC c. 208; CCEO c. 7)

As we are well aware, different levels of responsibility do exist in religious life—as in any organized life. However, the role or responsibility exercised by an individual religious does not diminish or increase one’s personal dignity. That is to say, no matter what role one plays in religious life, whether of a major superior, or of a local superior, or of those in-charge of a particular apostolate, or of those engaged in the ordinary chores of daily life – including that of a newly professed member, all are equal in dignity.

The equal dignity of every person is to be recognized both for the personal good of the individual member and for the common good of the community. It is also an essential pre-requisite for the well-ordered relationship among the members of a religious community, as well as a sign of universal brotherhood or sisterhood. At the same time, we must remember that the right to equality is not an absolute right.  Every individual member has the obligation to respect the other person’s right to equality. No one is to be treated as a ‘second class citizen,’ even if one is physically or mentally disabled because of age, illness or otherwise. Nor should there be any discrimination between the earning and non-earning members within a community.

The equality applies also in the case of fulfilment of the obligations of each individual religious in a community, province or congregation as a whole.  Besides sharing in the common mission, all the religious share, too, in community meals, recreation and spiritual exercises, such as,  participation in the Holy Eucharist, Holy Communion, liturgy of the hours, spiritual reading, meditation, rosary, sacrament of reconciliation, annual retreat and other community prayers (CIC c. 663; CCEO cc. 473; 538).

While the members are to look upon their superiors as representative of God, the superiors are called to look upon their members with love, compassion, respect, empathy and regard them as human beings and as children of God the Father (CIC cc. 601, 618, 619; CCEO c. 421). Further, each religious is called to take into consideration the needs and legitimate aspirations of the members of the community and to lead a life of love and service. Therefore, communion of love among the members of a community, as well as between superiors and subjects in seeking the will of God on a day-to-day basis, is imperative for any healthy religious community. Only thus the goal of religious life (“the witness of our consecrated life”) is achieved (CIC c. 673).

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Sr.Licia SMI

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Denis, a young man doing his theological studies, has asked to speak with me: “Sister, I was disappointed with what you previously wrote about attraction! It really sounded cold. Are we merely some kind of puppets played by the chemicals of our body? What about love? What about the songs, poems and paintings inspired by love and attraction? How practically can I handle my sexual feelings?”

Ok, Denis, let’s see your questions one by one.

In his famous bestseller, Holy Longing, Ronald Rolheiser says: “Spirituality concerns what we do with desire.” Scott Peck defines love as: “The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” Both writers imply that we do have the capacity to decide how to deal with our feelings, attraction included!

So, while attraction is not love it can lead to it. Various studies on the response of the brain to desire and love conclude that there are three stages of desire: lust, romantic love and attachment.

The three sides of attraction

Lust: Lust or sexual desire is what makes us search for a sexual partner. Lust refers to the physical and emotional response a person feels for another. We can experience sexual attraction even towards someone whom we hardly know, or do not love. If lust dominates, we may treat persons as objects, just to satisfy our physical urges. This can lead sexual violence and deep exploitation.

Romantic Love: Romantic love is much more personal and focussed. When reciprocated, it makes people feel ecstatic. It is the theme of most movies and novels. It is the muse of the poets, song writers and artists. It cuts deeper and makes people stay together. This is necessary for them in order to have children and bring them up. It brings along a tremendous energy and focus, a reaction similar to addictive drugs.   A person “in love” can think of the other person for hours on end. There is deep longing to be together. Being with the loved one feels like a bit of heaven—the best experience of life.

Attachment: Attachment is the ability that human beings have developed to stay together beyond the time necessary for childrearing. One result of attachment is mutual fidelity, as in marriage. However,  only relationships based on genuine love can stand the test of time. Those based on lust can’t. My maternal grandparents were evidently in love as long as they lived. Both died in their 90s. After Grandpa’s death, my aunts found Grandma turning the house upside-down. When they asked grandma what she was looking for, she answered: “maybe your father left me a last letter…” They had been writing loving notes to each other till then.

Dealing with desire and romantic love

Anything natural is God-given, and meant to serve a good purpose. This is true of hunger and thirst. It is true of our sexual longings. But, unlike animals, we need to learn to integrate our longings in the context of our life. Just as we do not grab someone else’s food when we are hungry, we do not just follow where instinct leads us.

We neither deny our feelings, nor consider them bad or abnormal. No, they are a part of who we are as human beings.

But they are not everything. Nor are they the most important element in human life. Even in marriage, what makes a couple happy is not the intensity of sexual feelings, but the union of hearts—the experience of an inner closeness, which gives a person a warm sense of security. Even when physically apart, a couple can feel “one” if there are sure of each other’s love and care. Thus we see touching proofs of mutual love when a spouse is sick or far away.

No one becomes mature all on a sudden. We are in the process of maturing. A healthy integration of sexual feelings with the rest of our personality and life takes time and wise choices. How do we achieve it? We shall see in the next article.

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An emotionally healthy person experiences and expresses a wide range of emotions—not just one or two.

“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” (The Gospel of Thomas)

“My father was a very angry man. He was always angry. His mere look would frighten us children. Looks like anger was the only emotion he felt. I never saw him smile. And I am like him. I seem to know only anger. I get into lots of trouble because of that.” said Mr. Antony in his first therapy session. “On the other hand,” he continued, “I never saw my mother angry. But she cried a lot. She was a very sad woman. Any one could see that on her face.”

Like Anthony’s father and mother, some of us experience and express only one or two emotions. The range of our emotional expression is very limited. An emotionally healthy person, on the other hand, experiences a wide range of emotions, not only anger and sadness, but also joy, grief, shame, exuberance, fear, gratitude, regret and so on, and feels free to express them—when appropriate.

An essential aspect of what makes us human is our capacity to feel. Healthy persons are in touch with a wide spectrum of emotions, and are able to express these emotions spontaneously and appropriately.

Healthy persons are emotionally expressive, but also have emotional self-control. They know when to express an emotion and to what degree, and when not to. They can be upset by an unwanted criticism, but they do not spend the whole day moody and ill-tempered because of it. They can be joyful and even boisterous, but also know when to be quiet and reflective.

Unhealthy persons, on the contrary, are overly restricted in their range of emotional expressions. They are comfortable only with a few emotions. For some persons, their anger dominates. For others, it can be grief, sadness or resentment. Moreover, emotionally unhealthy persons tend to express emotions in inappropriate ways.

There is an interesting gender dynamic to be noted here. Men are more prone to express anger than sadness. A man feels ashamed to cry, but not to shout! A woman, on the contrary, may weep when she is overcome by anger. Women are frequently socialised to believe that it is all right for them to cry, but not to show anger. Thus, a sister who withdraws to her cell or a wife to her bathroom to cry her heart out after a severe scolding by her superior or husband may be experiencing and expressing anger, not sadness.

Emotional Expression and Health

Emotional expression has positive impact not only on our emotional health, but also on our physical wellbeing. Psychologist Alexander Lowen observes: “A graceful manner, the sparkle in one’s eyes, the tone of voice, an overall aliveness and overall vibrancy expresses who we are more than words or actions.” But we will not experience any of these, Lowen observes, if our ability to experience and express a wide range of emotions is compromised or stifled. This will reduce vitality of the body. Feeling is the life of the body, and unless we let ourselves feel, our body is deadened. Moreover, when feelings are not expressed, they get embedded in the tissues and muscles of the body and give rise to muscular tension and psychosomatic illness. For example, lower back problems often are the result of muscular tensions arising from holding in feelings.

It is important, hence, to express our feelings rather than hold them in. This expression of feelings is important in healing, especially after traumatic experiences. One of the major challenges in psychotherapy is to help a client to feel free to experience and express feelings. Too often we have been discouraged by parents and others from expressing feelings. This becomes a pattern and stifles our vitality.

While it is important to express feelings, it is also important to have emotional control. We need to know when, where, and how to express emotions. Very often we express inappropriate emotions and express emotions inappropriately. For example, if I laugh during my mother’s funeral, that would be and seen by others as very inappropriate. We all have had experiences where we find someone expressing emotions inappropriately. We feel embarrassed for the person, but he or she is quite unaware of the inappropriateness or incongruence.

The purpose of emotional control is not to inhibit or limit feelings, but to make their expressions effective and appropriate.

The saying attributed to Jesus in the apocryphal book, Gospel of Thomas is very true. If we bring out the feelings locked up within us they will save us. If we do not, they will destroy us from within. The challenge for us is to recognize them and bring them forth in appropriate and constructive ways.

Emotion and Feeling

We often speak of emotions and feelings as though they are the same reality. The two are closely related but different. The English word emotion comes from the Latin root meaning “to move out.” Emotions move us physically. According to Antonio Damasio, a leading neuroscientist, emotions are complex reactions of our body to internal and external stimuli. They originate in the subcortical (lower, more ancient) regions of the brain, and cause hormonal, neural and muscular reactions. Thus, when I am angry, my adrenal level rises, heart starts pounding, mouth goes dry, breathing becomes rapid and the muscles of the body harden, and increased blood flow turns skin red and purple. When I am fearful, flow of blood to my skin is restricted and I turn pale. When I am joyful, my facial muscles relax, pupils dilate, and lips turn up. The body is the theatre where emotions play out.

Many researchers have accepted psychologist Paul Ekman’s classification of basic emotions into six: anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness and surprise. (However, not all agree on this list.) There are a number of secondary emotions flowing from these basic emotions, such as excitement, melancholy, panic, shyness, remorse, embarrassment, jealously, guilt, shame and so on. All these emotions have their body manifestations.

According to Damasio, feelings are mental experiences of body states, which arise as the brain interprets the emotions. Feelings originate in the neocortical (more recent and advanced) regions of the brain as our awareness of the body changes that happen during an emotion. This awareness is colored by our personal experiences, beliefs, memories, and thoughts linked to the particular emotion. In other words, a feeling is the product of our brain perceiving an emotion and assigning a certain meaning to it. While emotions are bodily reactions, feelings are perception of those reactions. Feeling, thus, is the conscious subjective experience of an emotion. Thus we can speak not only of an emotion of fear (the bodily felt impulses) but also a feeling of fear (the perception and interpretation of those impulses).

This description of emotion and feeling tells us that when we speak of emotions, we are actually referring to feelings, and not emotions per se. In this sense, it is quite all right for us to consider emotions and feelings as synonymous or interchangeable, even though technically speaking they are distinct. Even some reputed neuroscientists do not care much for the technical distinction between emotion and feeling and use the words interchangeably. Moreover, the lay person and the scientist use the same words for both the emotion and the feeling. What is important is that we experience a wide range of these emotions/feelings and express them appropriately.

Introspection

• What emotions do you more commonly experience?
• What emotions do you find easy to express? Why?
• What emotions do you find difficult to express? Why?

What do you need to do to bring more balance and appropriateness to your emotional expressions?

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How a Trust is Run

Every Trust will have a group of Trustees, three or five or more, according to the provisions of the Trust Deed.  The management and control of the Trust and all its assets is vested in these Trustees, who shall run the Trust according to the rules and procedure spelt out in the Trust Deed. There may be a Managing Trustee, for practical purposes, to run the Trust, on behalf of the Body of Trustees.  It is expected that the Body of Trustees meets at least twice a year (or more frequently according to the need) and takes collective decisions  in the matters of policy, activities and assets of the Trust, but keeping in mind the demands of 12A for tax exemption:  Charitable Trusts are eligible for tax exemption under sections 11, 12, 12A, 12AA and 13 of the Income Tax Act.  The term “charitable purpose” includes relief of the poor, education, medical relief, preservation of the environment and preservation of monuments or places or objects of artistic or historic interest and the advancement of any other object of general public utility.

After getting the Trust registered, the Trustees shall apply for and get a PAN (Permanent Account Number), which is needed for the income tax purpose.  Now with the Trust Deed and the PAN in hand, the Trust can open a bank account in the name of the Trust, after passing a resolution regarding the same and its mode of operation.  Simultaneously, the Trustees can apply for 12A, which entitles the Trust for exemption from income tax.  This is the most important document from the income tax point of view.  By granting income tax exemption through its 12A certificate, the Government officially recognizes the Trust as a Public Charitable Trust.  The Trust, while filing its income tax returns, can claim income tax exemption, provided it follows the conditions necessary for the same, like following the clauses of the Trust Deed and complying with the sections 11, 12, 12A, 12AA and 13 provisions of the income tax.  With the 12A in hand, the Trust may apply for 80G, which will give some income tax benefit to those who give donations to the Trust.  In the meanwhile, the Trust may also have to apply for and get its TAN (Tax Account Number) and GST No, if it is applicable.

While running the Trust, it is important for the Trustees to note the following:

1. A Public Charitable Trust with 12A certificate may not give any donation to another Trust without 12A certificate.
2. A Public Charitable Trust may not give donation to another Trust, even with 12A certificate, if the latter’s objects are different from those of the donor Trust.
3. A Public Charitable Trust may not take up any activity, however noble it may be, if it is not part of its objects in the Trust Deed.

It is also important for the Trust to maintain its membership and minutes register, with the agenda, proceedings, decisions and resolutions of the meetings recorded in it and the competent authority endorsing the same with his/her signature.  Needless to say, the Trust has to maintain all its original documents like the Trust Deed, PAN card, 12A certificate, 80G certificate, land and property related documents, etc., in safe custody.

As the Trust functions, it is necessary to maintain its accounts with all supporting documents, get the accounts audited at the end of the financial year and file its income tax returns within the prescribed time frame.

Finally, a word of caution. The Trust may get in to great difficulties if any of its legal documents is lost, if the Trust is not run according to the provisions of its Trust Deed and even lose its 12A status if the legal compliances are not met.

In the next issue, we shall see the difference between a Trust, Society and Non-profit Company.

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KEVIN

Crystal and I have been showered with many graces in our life together. One of the most recent graces has been that of being entrusted by our parish to develop a reflection of the Sunday gospel to be published in the parish bulletin. These reflections are meant to encourage parishioners to reflect more deeply on Christ’s teaching of over 2000 years ago in order that it can be a positive influence in their daily lives, homes, parishes and communities. It should come as no surprise to the readers that the task intended to benefit others has become a tremendous blessing and benefit to us as we immerse ourselves much more deeply and regularly in the beauty of our Catholic faith.

One of the first discoveries I made is how I had come to take the Sunday Scripture readings for granted. Having attended mass thousands of times over the last sixty-plus years, I had heard them all proclaimed dozens of times. For the most part, I allowed them to pass in one ear and out the other without the merest reflection on what Christ might be saying to me about how I was living my life. I often did not let the corresponding homilies whose themes I had also heard often to be taken into the recesses of my heart and soul.

However, taking the time to read and reflect deeply on Scriptures over the past three years in order to prepare reflections for others has helped me develop a clear and profound appreciation of the love of God, of His desire for each one of us to feel His loving embrace in our daily lives and that all He asks from us in return is that we love others in the way He loves us.  Needless to say, one of the greatest benefits of these realizations has been the growth in my relationship with Crystal.

Like with the Scriptures that I had come to take for granted over the years, I had come to take Crystal’s love for granted. I loved her and had come to rely on her love for me, yet I failed to reflect on the true significance of the gift from God that her love is for me. Likewise I hadn’t been focused on making sure that I loved her as Christ has called me to do.

Coming to recognize the power of God’s love as revealed in the Scriptures has been transformative and enriching. I have come to understand that God wants us to experience heaven on earth. I have come to believe it is possible and that it is His desire that I help those that He loves and has placed in my life to know and believe in His abundant love as well.

From a practical standpoint, one of the most valuable lessons from the Scriptures has been to focus on goodness and to not be distracted by the troubling things in the world or of our day to day lives. As the parable of the wheat and the weeds  (Matthew 13: 24-29) reminds us, there will always be ‘weeds’ which grow up around us.  Our challenge is to not get fixated on those evils, troubles or challenges to the point that we lose sight of the good graces that have been poured into our lives.  We are encouraged to turn these things over to God’s love and mercy and to grow in our appreciation of the goodness of those with whom we share life.

I know that whenever I let myself get caught up in the tensions in my life or focus on politics or conflicts in the Church or the world, I can find myself being short or critical of Crystal, our grandchildren and especially of all the terrible drivers I encounter on my way to Mass each morning!  However, when I open myself up to God’s love through receiving the Eucharist or reading Scripture or one of Crystal’s great hugs, I am encouraged to see goodness all around.   I see the abundant ‘wheat’ and barely notice the weeds.  The more I look for good, the more I see. The less time I make for finding good, the more time I allow for distraction.

So each day I am invited to look for the love of God alive in Crystal and those I encounter each day.  As I do, I have been often delighted by how present Christ is in my daily life.  The task of writing bulletin reflections (which I hate to admit I began grudgingly) has opened up a flood of graces, the richest of which has been a deep appreciation of how I am loved by God and Crystal.

So as we reflect on Scripture or go about our repetitive daily duties, I would encourage us to do so with a truly reflective spirit, always on the lookout for God’s over-generous love in our lives. It is there, and, the more we look for it, the more we will discover it, and the closer we can be to experiencing heaven on earth.

CRYSTAL

Seeking out the goodness in life is a matter of choice. Throughout history, wheat and weeds have always grown together, but in our current times, the internet and the media offer us unprecedented opportunities to see the world at its worst: the news headlines draw us into the major conflicts or disasters happening both near and far; the dirty politics of business and Church cloud the meaningful contributions being made for society.  Closer to home, we have always known that families are made up of consistently imperfect beings, namely….. us. But just like that field of wheat that includes weeds, there are far more positives and blessings in our lives than negatives. The answer is simply that we must make the choice to seek out God’s love in the goodness of our circumstance.

As Kevin noted, often the blessings are obvious, like the eager hug of a grandchild as we enter the home, or a sunny day when a picnic has been planned.  At those times we can easily thank God for shining His love into the world.  At other times, God’s love is revealed when outwardly it would appear as though we are stricken.  It might hide in the event of an illness, when we are feeling low, but our friends show their concern by bringing over meals or sending cards.  It might be shown in a natural disaster such as the recent flooding our area endured, with neighbors pitching in to help each other with the clean-up and offering their homes to those who were stranded.

At times I have felt God’s presence when I am struggling with a particular thought or attitude, and God shines His light with just the perfect reflection or meditative reading showing up in my email. These can all be moments of great joy, because we are shown the reality of God’s presence and love in even the most mundane or small situations of our daily lives. Yes, friends, it is our choice and our blessed opportunity to see our loving God reveal Himself to us and to thank Him for all we have been given. The sunshine and the rain are both blessings when seen through the eyes of faith and together they bring us a rainbow of graces.

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We must know the evolution of the speed of communication: When Columbus discovered America, it took seven months for the news to reach the queen of Spain. When Lincoln was killed, it took seventeen weeks for the news to reach the elite of London and Paris. When Armstrong landed on the moon, it took a few seconds for the news to reach the earth. When the Gulf war broke out (1991), we not only heard about it, but saw it actually happening.

Christianity has taken every means of communication seriously in the past. When Guttenberg invented the printing press, the first book printed in it was the Bible. When the radio was invented by Marconi, one of the first broadcasting stations established by him was the Vatican Radio, which even today is a formidable voice in the air. We need to see the value in these vehicles for the prophetic ministry at the service of the Word. The Pope has said: “The Internet is the best forum for evangelization.” We need to rethink our way of teaching catechism and preaching the homilies in this context. Using the media, we can tell the whole world about the love of God.

But today a serious problem faced in our communities is the usage of modern devices of communication. Two decades ago, the superior of the community kept an absolute control over the situation. Everyone got permission to make a phone call. The world ended within the boundaries of the convent and the mission area. Probably the rest of the time was spent in prayer. With the arrival of the current means of communication, this has become a history of the past. A general change in the behaviour of the religious men and women is slowly entering into their daily life. To name a few trends that are affecting them: the common sickness of sending missed calls, sending SMS before sunrise: it may be an inspirational quote but it disturbs due to its untimely delivery.

The use of the mobile and the Internet has opened a new face to religious life. If it moves in this pace, in a decade, religious life will be re-defined. It has strongly introduced a new concept that every individual is responsible for his/her own life, so self-restraint in a new form has to be learnt. It has reduced the role of the superior to the first among equals. In the past, nuns lived in unquestionable submission to the authorities. But today, easy accessibility puts us in direct and constant contact with our family members and friends. We might witness a new definition to religious life within the duration of a decade.  We have to make a new formation curriculum to deal with the newer realities of life. We have to start practical training for positive use of the mobile and social net-working. The time also demands a special training for personal freedom, self-restraint and managing mature inter-personal relationships. Personal maturity and religious spirit will help the religious as to when to use them, how long to use them, what to watch and whom to contact, etc.

What is ministry today all about? People or being busy with devices? Obviously much of the paper work on computers is aimed at helping people. But too often, there is little time or energy left for people at the end of the exhausting efforts of accomplishing those tasks. Modern means of communication creates a barrier between us and the opportunity of touching peoples’ lives.

Today what is required is communication through personal presence and witnessing life. The humble, inexpensive means of communication used in the good old days or in new and creative ways can still be the most effective ways of conveying the Gospel. Though Jesus could heal from afar, he preferred to walk to Lazarus’ tomb, Jairus’ home and Zacchaeus’ house, to touch and heal them. Even when he was tired (cf. Lk. 4.40) in the evening, he put people before other work, touched everyone and blessed them. He considered people not as interruptions but opportunities. The focus of our entire ministry is finally people. People need someone who can be seen and touched in the midst of a situation of suffering. Our absence must be felt like Jesus’ absence in Martha’s house when Lazarus died. (cf. Jn.11.21). Our Holy Father Pope Francis is doing this mission through his presence and touch.

Gospel values cannot be effectively communicated through gadgets, but through communities that live them amid gloom and doom, thus keeping in human hearts the hope of a fuller, richer life. Such a community communicates itself. Jesus said, “I have set you an example” (Jn: 13:13). Gandhi wrote once, “My life is my message.”

The unedifying life of some priests and religious is one of the reasons for people leaving the Church and joining other denominations. Our unavailability and our being busy with the devices cause scandal to them. Modern gadgets are God’s gifts given to us to speed up our work and make us more available to our people in our mission centres. Do we really use them for doing good, or let them take us away from the people who need us?

Questions for Reflection/sharing:

• Have mobile phones and social media brought people closer together or taken them away from one another?
• Since they can do both, what has been the greater impact according to you?
• In your own case, are these gadgets making you more available for service, or taking you away from the people who need you?
• Do I use these gadgets and technologies more for my entertainment or for doing good?
• Is there more unity and closeness in families and religious communities because of phones and social media, or greater distance?
• Are today’s younger people becoming better at relationships or worse?
• How far should a minor’s use of smart phones and social media be controlled by parents and school authorities?
• As far as you know, do most people access good (instructive, edifying, useful) material on these media, or harmful contents?
• A smart phone or social media can teach us about fitness and exercise. Do most people use them to keep more fit, or spend more time on them and neglect exercise and fitness?

Real love and friendship with people we know is very different from “contacts” on social media. How many genuine friends do you have? How many do you really care about? Is your use of smart phones and social media making you more human, or cutting you off from real people?

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A group of college students in Tura, Meghalaya, give their answers to the question: “If you had Rupees Ten Lakhs to distribute, what would you do with it?” We thank Sr Mariola Sequeira MSA for collecting their replies. Only first names or initials are given with each answer.

“I will distribute Rupees ten lakh by donating it to an orphanage, but only after my needs are fulfilled.  I would need at least five lakhs to first fulfill my needs.” (Das)

“I would give all the money to the poor who beg, so that they will stop begging and stand on their own feet.” (S.K.)

“I would give one lakh each to ten students who would like to study further.  I would let them choose whatever studies they want to do.” (S.)

“Looking at the present scenario of so many people affected by the floods in Assam, I would give the money to a responsible organization towards flood relief in Assam.” (Ritumoni)

“I would give it to some poor people to start a business of their own.”

“I would give Rupees five lakhs to Mother’s Teresa’s sisters (the Missionaries of Charity) as I know that they would spend it on poor children. And, Rupees five lakhs, I would give to Montfort School for the physically challenged children.” (Anonymous)

“I would give to those people who don’t have a son or daughter.  With that money, they would go to a Home for the Aged and spend their last days in peace.” (Ashish)

“I would give to people who don’t have a home to live in. I think ten families at least would have a small house of their own with this money.’ (Tengjiring)

“I would invest it in the share market.  Then, when the money increases, I would give it to the poor and the needy.” (Biju)

“I would distribute it among my brothers, sisters and cousins for their education.” (Ismael)

“I would distribute it to the poor and needy in the neighbourhood, especially for their clothes and food.” (Sr X.)

“I would distribute five lakhs to the poor in my village and five lakhs to the poor in urban areas, especially the blind and street children.” (Solesh)

“I would distribute it to the sick in the hospitals – those who cannot afford medicines and medical treatment.” (Sengkam)

“I feel so sad to see that so many people don’t know Christ as yet, so I would distribute ten lakh rupees among those who have not heard about Christ, by distributing Christian books and literature.” (Chanang)

 “I would distribute five lakh to the orphanage in my neighbourhood and five lakh to the poor to build houses.” (Anonymous)

If YOU were to win a lottery and get Rs 10,00,000, what would you do with the money?

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Screenplay & Direction: Tim Robbins.

Starring: Susan Sarandon, Sean Penn.

Running time: 120 minutes.

“This film ennobles filmmaking.”-Roger Ebert

Dead Man Walking is inspired by the memoirs of Sister Helen Prejean, an American Catholic nun who is a renowned crusader against the death penalty. She is a social activist, but new to the world of courts, prisons and criminals. On request, she visits Matthew Poncelet, a youth condemned for rape and murder of two teenagers. Poncelet wants to seek her help to appeal for clemency. The officials in the establishment, including the chaplain, disapprove of her interest in helping Matthew. However, Sr Helen connects with the introverted, defiant youth who pretends innocence. She gets the help of an old lawyer. But the attempt to save Matthew fails, because of the Governor’s opportunism, and the heinous nature of the murder.  Helen’s quest for clemency exposes the cruel complexities of the system of crime and punishment—the attitude of the politicians, the legal officers, the clergy and the general public, displaying a system that is deeply defective, arbitrary and biased in favour of the powerful and the privileged. Sister Helen shares the trauma faced by the criminal and his family as well as the families of the victims. Helen does not press the familiar ‘religious’ patronising on anyone. But as Poncelet’s spiritual advisor, she counsels the young man to accept his personal responsibility and make peace with God before he goes to receive his lethal injection. She stays with him in during the final moments, telling him “I want the last face you see to be the face of love.”

Dead Man Walking tells us that killing, whether done by a government or individuals, deeply wounds everyone connected to it one way or the other. It is also about the redeeming power of love and forgiveness. The death penalty or capital punishment is highly contested form of punishment. It does not reduce the levels of crime; it fosters a mentality of revenge rather than of correction; there is no way to correct a wrong judgement; the rate of punishment is disproportionately higher for poorer persons. Politics, personal and collective anger, and sheer callousness operate behind it.

The movie received great critical acclaim—two Oscar nominations and one win for Susan Sarandon, who played Helen Prejean.

Quotes from the movie:

Mathew Poncelet: “I never had no real love myself. I never loved a woman or anybody else or myself, just never could. Might figure I’d have to die to find love. Thank you for loving me.”

Sister Helen Prejean: “I’m just trying to follow the example of Jesus, who said every person is worth more than his worst act.”

“Redemption isn’t some kind of free admission ticket that you get because Jesus paid the price….”

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