As the years roll by and life’s striving at full throttle settles down to a mellower pace. I think that’s the best time to do all those wonderful things you dreamed about in your younger days, but never really got to do them. For then life was: stress, stress and more stress!
You can call these the ‘golden years.’ You have celebrated fifty years of marriage or religious life or priesthood. If married, you see your children grown up, and are making their own faltering way through life, often exhaustingly uphill. You know, history repeats itself. The nitty-gritty of a growing family, ups and downs on the work front, financial setbacks, illnesses, family rubbings, tension with growing youngsters … it all had its time, and it all took its toll!
Then things gradually begin to settle down to a quieter rhythm. The road is more level and foreseeable. For married couples, the nest is empty. The fledglings have grown and flown away. Retirement. Time alone with one’s spouse. A more relaxed honeymoon. More time for each other. No busy schedules to catch up with.
Then comes the extra bonus! Grand-children! All the pampering and cuddling you never had time for with your own kids—because those other jobs demanded so much of you—now you can shower these on the dear little ones that heaven sends you! They mean a world to you and you mean a world to them! Parents need to do a bit of disciplining. Grandparents can indulge in the caring and caressing!
With some doors closed, so many others open up spontaneously—as if just waiting for the right moment.
How often in the past you must have thought: Oh, if only I had the time to help them! The time is now. You can get involved in social services, like helping in charity institutions, or Church initiatives (Bible Study groups and the like), or informal visits to a family in need, a lonely neighbour, someone bed-ridden, some kids to be helped with their studies … the list can be endless. There’s a whole world out there! You will find that you can make a difference for them, and they will make a difference in your life too. You could join or organize groups to work with, in the slums, prisons, homes, with street children, …
Socializing: There was no time for that before; calling on relatives you never really got to visit. Our technological age offers us possibilities previous generations never had or dreamt of. And when you visit or call, you often find another ‘free’ soul just wanting to connect with the world that seemed lost, or just too far away. Almost every church or neighbourhood has its spontaneous senior-citizens club. You qualify now … to enter into the world of another … share the joys and sorrows that life brought along. Laugh and cry and play together! Life is precious, every moment of it. Season after season of life unfolds possibilities not noticed before! They were all there, but we just did not see them before!
Then there are the hobbies you always wanted to take up: cooking (not just that daily stuff, but those yummy specials you never got to make), perhaps the good old embroidery and knitting, or gardening, carpentry, fixing things up in and around the house, musical instruments, painting, sketching, …
For the more adventurous, it could be sight-seeing, going around the world to see its more than seven wonders! In quieter moments there is all that reading you had had no time for. Then there is the charm of creative writing, where your dreams take fantastic shapes. Want more hints?
Take a peep at what happens to priests and religious after their ‘retirement.’ For those in schools that comes as early as fifty-five or fifty-eight years of age, when you are still full of plans and dreams that did not materialise because you were somehow glued to those institutions. Now that you are free to look around, you see all those ‘extra-curriculars’ that had so efficiently eluded you! Activities for youth, interaction with young couples, family counselling, getting to know the neighbourhood through regular family visits, activities for senior citizens, rehab centres—so much to choose from. There are the house-bound, due to age or illness; the unemployed waiting for guidance or a helping hand… When people come to know that you have time to give them a listening ear, you’ll always have company–the young and the not-so-young!
For Sisters who had spent most of their time in schools and hospitals, there are the unexplored sectors of social activities for the underprivileged—non-formal classes for children and adults, training in skills for rural men and women, training in leadership, organization of groups to address some particular needs of the area etc. All those non-institutionalized sectors you had to set aside! Now is the time for these!
Then there are also those household chores that you enjoyed doing, but did not have the time for before. There are all hose hobbies that enticed you but that just got cut out somehow. There is the apostolate of the press, of social media … The list here too is … well … unending… Close your eyes, dream, and let them get hold of you. One step leads to another, then another and another. Before you realize it, you have launched out into a second career. When it is time to step out and ‘retire’ from that too, other doors will open spontaneously! Keep yourself open to the wonders of life as they unfold, one after another! Ever thought of writing your life story?
Life gets slower and fuller at the same time. This may seem a contradiction, but give it a try! Add life to years and years to life! Bon Voyage!
Sr Esme da Cunha FDCC
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