I was born in a Christian family. My dad was Anglican and my mum Catholic. Both were equally staunch in their beliefs. My mother was insistent on having us baptised and was very diligent in raising us in the faith, ensuring we go for daily Mass and sending us for retreats during summer vacations. It planted a seed of knowing God in a deep way.
When I came to college, many things changed. I lost my closeness to Jesus. The earlier sincerity in the small and simple things of life seemed unimportant. I began questioning the practice of traditional prayers. I stopped going to church.
During my second year I fell in love with a girl. It seemed most appropriate since it seemed that everyone else had a girlfriend. Over time I was quite sure she would be the one I would marry. I changed the course of my career, opting for a post graduation that would help me to be with her. A year later, my world crashed when I discovered that she had become friendly with another classmate. I was shattered and unable to see a future. My grief turned into anger. I was determined to prove to this girl that I could outshine her during the rest of the course. I was filled with unforgiveness and hatred. I was so disturbed I realised I must go for the retreat and try to find some peace. At the retreat centre I developed high fever. During the Eucharistic adoration where special prayers were offered for the healing of inner wounds, the priest who leading the service, Fr Augustine Vallooran, mentioned my name and gave a message to forgive and see how God works. It was hard. I nevertheless prayed for the unforgiveness and hate to be removed. As soon as I did this, I could feel a cool sensation over my body. I realised I had received the grace to completely forgive the girl and the boy whom she was in love with.
Marcus Silus Sam
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