Ambivalent like life itself, our family is the cradle of our happiness—and our unhappiness. Although its impact on our personal development is not irreversible, given the helplessness and vulnerability of the newly born baby, as well as of the child and the adolescent, our early experiences get recorded in our memory and stay on for decades, either as “Guardian Angels” or as “Demons” that can help or destroy us, without our being aware how long they have been there, or even why. They stay on, however, making us believe that we are responsible for our past and our future, while, as a matter of fact, this freedom we dream of is largely a fantasy.
Home as Heaven
When our home is a heaven, as J. W. Chapman would put it, then our adult life is a backpack full of resources. If our experiences were of affection, of unconditional love, of adequate parental models, and of norms and guidelines that taught us to relate with mutual respect, our personal development proceeds on a smooth road towards worthwhile goals, and that, too, without too much waste of fuel. We may even think, with a bit of arrogance, that it is all our merit, but this is a minor fault, because, given the love we received at home, our links with the past will be full of gratitude, and our links to the future will be about caring for the next generation. This way, we also contribute to life by spreading goodness around us.
Professor Adelina Gimeno
To read the entire article, click Subscribe
