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CRYSTAL

For the last five years, I have been a member of the “Women at the Well Prison Ministry” team, helping to lead Christian retreats for women prisoners. Over two days, we witness to the women prisoners with stories of how we encountered the person of Jesus in our lives and how that made a difference in our understanding of God’s love and mercy. The team leaders have always recognized that two of the most crucial talks are entitled “Healing of Memories” and “Forgiveness.”

Most are victims; some have committed terrible crimes

Most of the imprisoned women are victims themselves of either physical or sexual abuse, extremely dysfunctional families and/or mental illness.  Before God’s love and mercy are able to be real for them, before they can be truly healed and made free, they must recognize the impact of the hurt that has been imposed on them, and be willing to forgive those that were responsible.

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Crystal and Kevin Sullivan

Here are the statutory compliances required of a registered charitable society.

Registered charitable societies play a very vital role in the social development sector of the country.  Hence, recognizing their role in public life, the government has given them many privileges.  However, there are certain rules and regulations to be followed. These rules may be from the points of view of the income tax, GST, FCRA, social security schemes (like the PF and Gratuity, etc.).  This article limits its scope to the income tax.

From Income Tax Point-of-view:

The taxation of charitable societies is governed by  Chapter III of the Income Tax Act, which contains sections 11, 12, 12A, 12AA and 13.  Section 12A/12AA contains the provisions concerning the registration and the registration procedure under the Income Tax Act.  Sections 11 and 12 contain the provisions concerning the conditions to be fulfilled by the charitable societies in order to claim exemption from income tax.  Section 13 stipulates the provisions concerning the trusts which are not eligible for exemption u/s 11 and 12.

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Fr Alex Gnanapragasam SJ

Basing himself on what he has observed and heard, and on seminars for parents, the author looks at what parenting means today, and the things parents should do and avoid.

A Heart of Tenderness
Basil was a middle-aged businessman. Physically strong and used to being successful, he was struggling with a situation he could not manage. He came to meet me during a retreat. His eyes were filling up with tears. Struggling not to burst out crying—since most men feel ashamed of weeping in front of others—he told me his story in between sobs. His teenaged son had been diagnosed with a type of cancer that had killed one of their uncles. His son did not know the seriousness of his illness. “My prayer, Father, is this: ‘O God, send me the cancer, but heal my boy.’ This is all I want.”
This is tenderness—the kind of love that makes a human being place the well-being of another above one’s own, and willing to pay any price for the loved one’s good.
Parents know such love. We have seen it in our parents. Those of us who are parents know it ourselves. In fact, a number of married people have told me that they started understanding their own parents only after they themselves became parents.
A religious sister once shared this experience: “My two brothers and I asked our Mom one day, ‘Mom, do you remember the time when a speeding car was about to hit me, and you dashed in front of that car and pulled me to safety?’ She replied that she did not remember this particular incident, but added that she would be ready to risk her life for any of her children.”
That is what motherly love makes a woman capable of.

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Fr Joe Mannath SDB

This month, our regular columnists, Crystal and Kevin, ask their daughter Christina to speak about her experience of being a mother—especially its spiritual dimension.

Crystal
As a lay couple whose contributions to this magazine reflect thoughts which come from living out our sacramental vocation of Matrimony, we pondered what to write about parenting that would contribute to an understanding from our unique perspective.  Our days of ‘active’ parenting are over. Of course, as a mother and father, there is never a time when you can say you are “done”.  But the difficult years of day-to-day formation and discipline and loving attention are now behind us. For this reason, we asked our daughter Christina, herself a mother of three young children (7, 5, 2 ½) if she might be willing to share anything from her own experience as a young Catholic mother who is doing her best to raise her children in the faith.

Christina
You’d be hard-pressed to find a person who doesn’t express some fear, apprehension, or even downright terror about the prospect of taking part in the Sacrament of Reconciliation these days. The idea of baring our souls, showing our weak spots, putting it all before God… this leaves even the holiest souls feeling tremulous at times.  But as I was trying to explain the Sacrament to my four-year-old the other day, I began wondering why it is that so many of us are still apprehensive about receiving this beautiful sacrament, and how I can prepare my children to participate joyfully and without fear when it’s time.

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Crystal & Kevin Sullivan

It is quite likely that assessment of life, particularly of our dreams, can lead to de-illusioning – a shattering of our unrealistic and idealistic notion of life, our illusions. As we come to midlife, we recognize that long-held assumptions about self, others and the world are not really true. We recognise that many things that were taught to us as truth were actually lies.

At midlife we recognize that life does not move the way we would want it to, that there are things over which we do not have control, that people are not who we thought they would be.

We realise that we are not able to do what we want to, change what we would like to change. We recognise our limitations.

As psychologist C. S. Pearson observes, “We are called to give up the illusion that we can force life to fit our scripts, that we can shape other people to match our expectations, or that we can make ourselves fit our own image of who we want to be (The Hero Within, p. 118)

Reality smashing our dreams
In the first half of life we are driven to pursue idealised dreams, the impossibly high goals and standards we set for ourselves, often as compensation for the powerlessness we experienced in childhood. We are lured by an immature mind to believe in fantasies of limitlessness, that we can achieve anything if only we try hard enough. This is a lie that is told to us often, and by many people around us. By midlife we may have tried very hard indeed, and we only experienced failure, may be again and again.

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Fr Jose Parappully SDB

A religious superior needs to remember that we come together, not mainly to do some work, but to build loving and happy communities, where people feel cared for, and witness to God’s love. Spreading God’s love (through a joyful life of love) IS OUR MAIN WORK.

Work completed; people unhappy
Father Martin considers himself an efficient and capable superior. He makes sure that the work is distributed well, explained properly and followed up. He will check whether each community member has done his assigned duties correctly and on time. If not, he will ask them why. He will remind the young Brother who is a beginner, “Be on time. Never be late. You must correct the homework carefully and on time. Make sure to prepare your classes well.”

Fr Martin is also known to pull up people who are behind schedule, and anyone who does not do what the superior had asked him to do: “I asked you to do this three days ago. You have not yet started working on it. I want it completed, and on my table by 9 am tomorrow.”

People do put in work when Martin is around. Hardly anyone is late for community practices. The “machine” is running smoothly. Jobs get completed on time. The rector looks pleased, and considers himself a successful rector.

Is he?

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Fr Joe Mannath SDB

Meeting with a Catholic couple and their children throws light on the joys and struggles of an ordinary family today, as well as their main source of happiness and strength. Sr Celine Vas interviewed them for MAGNET.

“Children are a gift from the Lord, more precious than anything else a couple can dream of in this world,” says Mr Peter (all names changed). His wife, Philo, stands next to him smiling, and adds, “Children are truly a gift, Sister. We did not plan for any of our children.”

Philo is a staff nurse in one of the well-known hospitals. Peter joined as a health inspector in the Municipal Corporation of the city. After making a retreat, he had felt a deep desire to spread devotion to the Blessed Sacrament.

The Centre of the Day
The family begins their day by attending Mass together. Peter believes that the Eucharistic Lord has transforming power. “My family and I have witnessed many wonders and graces in our lives. I have five children. The eldest son just completed his Plus 2 and has joined a Graphic Design Diploma course. The other four—two girls and two boys—are in the lower classes. I have no bank accounts, no gold, no property and no house of my own. We live in a rented apartment. I do not have anything in abundance, but enough to meet our needs.”

Philo, a hard-working woman and a trained nurse, reached this city, and started working in a private hospital. She now works at another hospital, for a monthly salary of Rs 40,000, which is the only constant income for the family. Of that, Rs 22,000 go for monthly house rent. Although there are several Catholic schools in the city, Peter and Philo find that they can’t afford to send their children to those schools, since the fees are too high. “My children study in another school, where the monthly fee is only Rs 300 and the midday meal is free. We spend around Rs 5000 for the school bus.”  In the presence of her daughter, she adds, “We provide for their needs, and not for their wants.  We give them Jesus; other schools give education”.

I ask them about their family life. Philo says, “Our family life goes on smoothly because my husband is very patient. When the children fight, he is calm and cool. He will watch them, listen to them and then provide a solution. He will explain our situation to them and not grant them all their requests. We have no TV. If my husband thinks they should watch a movie or some other programme they want to see, he will talk this over them, and then show it to them in his computer. Children are happy with what he says, whereas I often get angry or irritated. I feel I am a failure. Whenever I am calm, I am able to control the situation.”

Ministry More than Money
For Peter, the toughest challenges are financial. He has no regular income, since he works as an evangelist. He goes from state to state, praying, preaching and distributing Catholic Bibles in Hindi. Most of the Catholics have a copy of the Gideon Bible. Hence it is Peter’s endeavour to print and provide every Catholic home with a copy of the Catholic Bible. As he goes about on his mission, he meets generous people who volunteer to help with the education of his children. He accepts the contribution of a priest or a religious sister just to meet the immediate needs of his children’s education. “God has been ever faithful,” Peter says. “I am more concerned about the character of my children than about money. I want them to love God and live an upright life.”

What about hardships and difficult situations?

“There have been painful moments in my life. Around fourteen years ago, my mother-in-law fell ill. My little daughter (one and a half years old at that time) was staying with her. I spent more than a month attending on my mother-in-law law and then returned home. I had converted my bedroom into an adoration chapel. People were coming and praying. Many were healed of their ailments; problems were solved, and people found peace and solace.

 “When I got back to Delhi, I was shocked at something that had happened. Someone had taken all the documents regarding this an association we had set up,  and changed the names of the society president, secretary, etc. I was told I have nothing to do with it and, if I wanted to be in, I could continue as a member. They promised to give me a two-wheeler instead of the four-wheeler we had.

“I listened to them. I went before the Blessed Sacrament and prayed. I felt that Jesus was telling me not to accept any offers they make. Next morning, I went to them and told them, ‘I do not need anything. The Lord will take care of me.’

“I was a zero; I had nothing. I started a new ministry of evangelising. I printed copies of the Catholic Bible in Hindi and started distributing them at 50% discount. Those who were buying the copies often paid me more than I require. All my needs were taken care of”.

“Whatever I do, God gives me success. Some people grow jealous of me. Even now, someone has complained that I am living a lavish life, that I have collected a lot of gold and money. The fact is that we are struggling to make ends meet. I think: This is the way the Lord treats me for working for Him. This is my salary, and I accept it gladly. All this has happened to me earlier, too. The Lord has always taken care of us, and blessed us abundantly.

Our Daily Bread
I talk with Teena, their second daughter. She says, “I am happy the way we are at home.” As for the inevitable tiffs and quarrels that happen among siblings, Philo gives the credit for her husband for calming them down with good practical solutions and his patience.

“If I were to give a number one place to something in our family life, I would give it for prayer,” says Teena. “We pray together; so, our family stays together.” She adds that one of the saddest experiences in her life was when she wanted to attend a friend’s birthday party, and Daddy did not allow her. She felt bad about it then. What she realized only later was that her mother was really sick that day and had to be rushed to the hospital.

Let me give the final word to Philo:

“In spite all the hurdles and challenges we have faced, I have no regrets for not having a comfortable life. We have hardships, but our “bank deposit” is our contented life without any regrets. We pray for our daily bread, and God has been faithfully providing for our daily needs. Everyday God looks after us. This is the most satisfying thing in my life.”

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Sr Celine Vas, BS

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One of the legal requirements of a registered society is to have its accounts audited,   if its turnover exceeds the basic exemption limit of Rs 2.5 lakhs in a financial year.  In compliance with this legal requirement, all registered societies have their auditors.  Now is the time to get our accounts audited.

The reality may be different from Society to Society.  There are societies where the auditor, with no malice to anyone, with total commitment to the society, decides everything unilaterally, takes appropriate steps and files the required income tax returns. Here the Board Members may fully trust him/her and leave him/her to function on one’s own and in the process be totally ignorant of what the auditor does.  On the other hand, there are societies where the auditor is only for name’s sake.  He/she has no commitment to the wellbeing of the society and does not even care to defend the society before the Income Tax Officials. The Board Members remain helpless here. In some other societies, the members are scared of saying anything to the auditor. Here the auditor dictates terms to the members, as it were.  On the other hand, there are also societies where the auditor may lack the knowledge and competence required of him and he is not in a position to point out even the obvious legal non-compliances and mistakes.  Finally, there are societies where the Board Members hide things from the auditor. This article is an attempt to spell out the role and function of the auditor and the scope of the audit requirements.

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Fr Alex Gnanapragasam SJ

When meeting old students, it is a pleasure to be told that everything they are today is due to what you have done for them in their school days. What they actually remember may be limited to your elocution classes and the slips you made, your good manners tips which you yourself violated in a moment of annoyance, or your strictness in discipline and the troubles you gave them. Forty years after events, these become central themes for thrilling narrations. Legends grow up over trifles, both positive and negative, and small bits of kindness you have shown assume Himalayan proportions. But what is touching to note is that they feel a sense of bondedness with you in spite of the smallness of your contribution and the flaws in your character. The affection you have shown them and the ideas you have shared remain a motivating force all the time.

The Real Difference

Your joy rises to another level when, independently of these idle tales, you hear that so-and-so is effective in whatever work he/she takes up, that he has a sense of mission in life, and that he exerts an influence for good in the neighbourhood. It rises further when you learn that he/she believes in certain principles, stands by some values and is extremely helpful to people in need. Your joy would be even more complete if, in addition to all this, he/she were to emerge as a ‘thought leader,’ influencing other intelligent persons positively in society.

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“The goal of education … is to form professionally competent, morally upright, socially conscious leaders …who will … make a difference in society…” I summarise thus the challenge of the editor who is setting forth the outlines he wishes discussed in this piece, which outlines he concludes with a comment of his own: “If we [Catholic teachers] lose our vision and sense of mission, education can simply become a business or a cult of routine and mediocrity that makes little difference to the students or to society.”

Too late!
Harshly, dear Editor: too late. This latter is largely what education has in fact become in most schools in our country, including Catholic institutions. I am tempted to offer supportive illustrations, but such are all too familiar to those in the field, and of little interest to (or too late for) others. Just a comment or two however to underline the dimensions of this negative observation:

The ‘big name’ schools in our country are almost all run by Christian institutions, are English medium, are largely patronized and equally demonized by the powerful in our country, are expensive, and turn out good young women and men who take their place in society as polite and comfortable nobodies. Their names are rarely if ever heard challenging situations that are harmful for India in one way or another. And among those names Christians are a tiny minority.

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Brother Brendan