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There is a huge difference between the two—which, sadly, leaders often forget or neglect.

Here is an example.

In the much-acclaimed book, Why Leaders Can’t Lead, world-renowned leadership guru Warren Bennis cites his own example.

He was president of a university. One day, he was at his desk at 4.00 am, still busy with the previous day’s work. That is when inspiration struck him.

I am busy answering routine mail, checking routine jobs, he thought.

Much of the correspondence was about a particular employee who, convinced that he must share child-rearing duties with his wife, used to bring his baby to the office. People were strongly for or against this man.

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FR JOE MANNATH SDB

In this interview, Father Thomas D’Cunha, Chaplain at Holy Family Hospital, New Delhi, shares the experiences that have touched him most in his hospital ministry. He has seen the power of prayer, the deep faith of persons of other faiths in Jesus’ healing touch, the generous commitment of hospital staff. He also lets us see the source of his strength for ministry. He is a diocesan priest of Delhi Archdiocese.

He was interviewed for MAGNET by our Associate Editor, Sr Theresa Phawa FMA.

MAGNET: Father Thomas, could you please share some of your touching experiences as hospital chaplain?

In my two-year ministry as the chaplain of the hospital, I have come across persons with various types of suffering and pain. I have accompanied a good number of them with my prayers, distribution of the Holy Communion, through the sacraments of confession and anointing of the sick; and counselling for many others. While rendering my priestly ministry, I not only bear witness to my Catholic faith; I have become stronger in it. I have witnessed the faith of patients in the healing power of Jesus, more often from those who are Hindus, Muslims and others.

I would like to recall a few incidents that have enriched my own faith and strengthened my trust in God.

In one of my daily rounds in the hospital, I met a lady from Haryana, whose husband was hospitalised with a very critical health condition. Sadness gripped her heart, and she felt helpless. She would go into the hospital chapel every day, and prostrate herself in prayer. There was perpetual adoration in the chapel, but she did not know what that means, nor who Jesus is. All she knew was that there is a God who can give what she needed. She approached me and asked for prayer and blessing for her husband. “Only Jesus can do something,” she said. What a strong faith from a Hindu woman! I did pray for the ailing man, gave him my blessing and made sure that I visited his sickbed. The healing power of God worked a miracle! He got better. The woman’s joy was boundless. She came to thank me for my prayers. It is not me nor my prayers alone that brought about this healing. I strongly believe it was her own faith in the divine healing power of Jesus.

Another touching case. A woman from Jharkhand who works in Delhi, and whom I knew, was brought to the hospital with brain haemorrhage. Emergency operations were done, but there was no great improvement. Her son was heart-broken and lost all hope. I saw his sorrow and knew that he was undergoing a lot of pain. As I assured him of my prayer, I prayed for her every day. After about a week, I again witnessed a miracle happening, a quick healing which was not expected. With faith, her son and I earnestly sought God’s healing power to touch and grant a healing that is beyond all medical sciences and technology can perceive or comprehend. The son convincingly acknowledged that it was purely a miraculous healing and he is deeply grateful to God who answers our prayers.

Yet another incident was an urgent call from a lawyer to inform me that his colleague’s mother was on ventilation for days in our hospital. The family and relatives were not sure of what to decide about her case – to leave her in that situation for more days or take her home for a peaceful death. I was therefore called to counsel them. In critical cases, I have given counselling to many with regard to accepting life, sickness and most importantly death. In some cases, it is successful, while many find it difficult to accept the reality of death. In this particular situation, as in many similar ones, I accompanied my counselling with prayers for the patient and the family, knowing that they were in a dilemma. The result was that the family was able to decide what was best for the patient. Their faith in my prayer and counselling, which is of a priest who represents God, is incredible. They were sure of what they asked and God granted it, simply because of their trust in God that HE can do anything for them.

So, this is an active type of ministry. I find that prayer is effective in all ways. Not only Christians call me for prayer, Holy Communion or anointing of the sick; Hindus, Muslims and others come and fold their hands asking me to lay my hands on their sick ones. I willingly spend time with every patient in prayer. After I have said a prayer, they would immediately reach for my hands to bless them. I do this with the sign of the cross. Their faith in the prayer of a Catholic priest edifies me a lot. This calls for a greater commitment from me. God works through his people and through me in spite of my unworthiness.

MAGNET: Who are the patients? What is their background?

The patients come from all sorts of backgrounds. They differ by place of origin, language, religion, income, education and medical condition.

The hospital always opens its doors or whatever available places, especially in times of epidemics. There have been times when the rooms were packed, yet no patient was denied treatment; they would be given a wheel chair and lie along the corridors just to get proper treatment. Above all this, the staff members are dedicated and ready to render help and assistance even though it meant risking their health too.

The hospital compound is also a welcoming place for everyone. For example, you may find the Muslim community gathering beneath the trees for Namaz whenever their hour of prayer comes. They feel at home to do this. For me, this speaks volumes on the friendly and welcoming spirit that prevails on the hospital campus.

MAGNET: You will certainly see the doctors, nurses and other staff at work. What have you learnt from them?

Apart from the Catholic priests engaged in the Hospital administration, the hospital has a large number of lay staff: around two thousand in all, working at different levels and in various departments. Although Holy Family is a Catholic hospital, most of our staff belong to other faiths. When we speak about their dedication to work, I would say, it is tremendously inspiring. They are always ready to come to the hospital in emergency situations even if they are not on duty.  For instance, when there was a fire in one of the apartments in the neighbourhood, victims were brought in to our hospital. Some were dead. Others were seriously injured. The doctors and other staff members responded to the emergency call and rushed from their homes or quarters to help out the people on time. It is indeed inspiring to recall how they feel the sense of service without counting the cost in terms of time, energy and their home situations. They are ready to make sacrifices at any point of time when required. As you know, in this type of work, an emergency can crop up any time.

As for the doctors and nurses so, they are truly a dedicated group. I like to mention in particular the nurses who reside in the hospital quarters or hostels. They are always ready to give extra service. Some of them were even called at night when required. I am edified to see them go cheerfully without murmuring or complaining. Seeing this has increased my own motivation as the chaplain here.

MAGNET: All ministries face hurdles. What do you see as problems or difficulties in your type of work?

So far, I have not come across or felt any difficulty in carrying out my ministry here in the hospital. I find my mission fruitful, and it is a witness. There were moments when I was not allowed to meet patients of swine flu without wearing a mask. Even though I would say, “Don’t worry, Jesus is with me, He will cover me,” they would not let me in without a mask, since they were concerned about my safety.  There were also cases when I was stopped from meeting Tuberculosis patients. I could only bless them from outside the room. I understand that such rules are good, and they protect everyone’s health. But, in those moments, I really felt bad about it. However, I believe that the patients too understand such situations. They realize why I cannot approach them and bless them.

MAGNET: The nursing students belong to different faiths. What do they feel about the Catholic prayers we say?

The Nursing School is open to students of all faiths. One thing that strikes me very much is that they are very open to our Catholic prayers and services, especially the Holy Eucharist. They know very well that we will not impose any practice on them, nor try to “convert” them to our faith. I find that many students of other faiths are often better examples of a Christian spirit and a Catholic way of life than many who profess the Catholic faith.

Once a student belonging to another faith approached me and asked me to hear her confession. I took time to explain to her about the practice of the sacrament in the Catholic church. Nevertheless, she was persistent to make her confession. I finally agreed, making it clear that I would do would be to listen her and offer her some counselling. That is what she wanted. This was one of the touching experiences I had with the nursing students here in the hospital.

MAGNET: Any group or person or experience that impressed you in particular?

Yes, I would like to say a word of appreciation to the Medical Mission Sisters (MMS) who are here. [Holy Family Hospital was started by the Medical Missions Sisters, who ran it for years, and then handed it over to the Archdiocese of Delhi.]  Those of them who are working in the hospital are not so young. Yet, they have such zeal and strength to carry out the task of either working in the hospital or teaching in the nursing college. Their active role in the college is worth emulating, and, for me personally, very inspiring. Love has no limit. Age does not limit one’s sense of duty or one’s passion to serve humanity. This is what I see in these Sisters.

MAGNET: In meeting sick people and their family members every day, and in trying to bring them comfort and hope, what is your main source of strength?

Jesus in the Holy Eucharist gives me strength and confidence. Every morning I spend an hour in prayer and meditation. I allow the Lord to walk with me all through the day. Whenever I lay my hands on the sick, it is the Lord who works through my humble priestly ministry. I am always available at any time or part of the day for any urgent call from the patients. Hence, I do not go out much. Reason: They may look for a priest any time. As long as I am here, this is my passion—to spend time with the patients and pray for them and accompany them even if it is just by words of comfort or encouragement.

In my twenty-three years of priesthood, I have always experienced the presence of God as the strength of my life and ministry. In one of the parishes where I worked earlier, God worked a miracle through my humble prayers for those in need. There was a lady who was desperate because she had sold everything she owned to apply for a job abroad. But she was not called for the interview. However, her trust in God’s power was great and inspiring. She came daily to the church for Mass and personal prayer. When she told me about her problem, I was impressed by her faith in God, on whom she relies completely. I assured her my prayers and we recited novena prayer to St Anthony, who is known as the “restorer of what is lost.” She had an admirable devotion to this well-known saint. To my amazement, within three days, she was called for the interview and her visa was also granted. The lady was so overwhelmed by the favour received from God through the intercession of St. Anthony. To show her deep gratitude, she came to the parish, cleaned the church and offered a donation for its renovation, since the building needed repairs.

God gives us strength when we place all our trust in him and serve his people with love. We are only his humble servants or instruments in His hands.

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Sr Theresa Phawa FMA

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“The sorrowing, the sick, the unwanted, the lonely, both young and old, rich and poor, all come to my window. No one listens, they tell me, and so I listen and tell them what they have just told me. And, I sit in silence, listening, letting them grieve. ‘Julian, you are wise,’ they say, ‘You have been gifted with understanding.’ All I did was listen.  For I believe full surely that God’s spirit is in us all, giving light, wisdom, understanding, speaking words in us when we cannot speak, showing us gently what we would not see; what we are afraid to see; so that we may show pity, mercy, forgiveness to ourselves.” (Julian of Norwich, in the play “Julian” by J. Janda)

The goal of spiritual direction is to create that safe space in which an openness and responsiveness to God’s presence in one’s life may be attended to and nurtured.   The reality of God’s presence is revealed in the everyday events of life. In spiritual direction the directee invites the director to walk around that lived experience with her or him so that the fullness and richness of life in all of its diverse facets may be revealed to one’s self, and thus the fullness of the Divine presence may be more fully realized, and one’s life may be more abundant.

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Sr Sharon Gray SCN

Fifteen basic truths about spiritual direction! They may help to remove some cobwebs of confusion and help us see the beauty and meaning of this practice. I have no doubt that every one of us will lead a happier, fuller and more enthusiastic life if we shared our inner journey—the best and the worst about us—with someone wise and honest who truly cares for us. Much confusion, many blunders and the drudgery of a monotonous and meaningless life can be avoided if we learnt to look into our inner self and talk it over with the right kind of person.

All the best on this adventure!

1. A very meaningful, happy and enjoyable experience! Chit-chats about superficial matters (weather, food, fashion, sports) can fill our time, but will not fill our heart! They leave us feeling empty. Try looking into yourself instead (e.g., Am I happy? What do I want to do with my life? What place does God have in my life? Am I taking the right decisions? How do I learn to love?). Talking such deep matters over with the right of kind of person is what spiritual direction is all about. You are truly blessed if you find such a person, and if you open up and share. I feel deeply grateful that I got such chances. Deep sharing led to deep joy and peace and renewed inner strength. Try and see!

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Fr Joe Mannath SDB

Mary and Peter have been married for five years. Fights more than closeness mark their life. s. Mutual love has given way to mutual blaming. What will help them better—marriage counselling or a good retreat?

Imelda is a twenty-year-old novice. She carries a shameful secret that makes her tense, angry and afraid of men. She was sexually abused by her uncle at the age of thirteen. What does she need for healing—counselling, spiritual direction, a good confession or psychiatric help?

Ever since he lost his wife and children and house in the tsunami, Alphonse has no interest in anything—meals, work, talking, or even in living. How can we help him best?

Any of us can go through such situations. No one knows for sure which approach will give us the best results. How do we know what each approach can do?

Here are the four basic ways of helping people with personal or interpersonal problems.

1. COUNSELLING

Counselling takes place when a person under distress meets someone he/she trusts and shares the problem, and finds relief and renewed strength. I have seen great changes in people (including myself) as a result of counselling. I remember a priest in his thirties who always looked depressed become a joyful and vibrant person after just one good therapy session.

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Fr Joe Mannath SDB

In 2000, as I began my studies at Catholic Theological Union in Chicago, I was informed that one of the requirements of participating in the Masters program was to begin meeting with a spiritual director. Without any clear understanding of what this might entail or what was required of me, I obtained the name of a woman who had just recently completed her certificate as a Spiritual Director. At our first meeting, she explained that she was not there so much to ‘direct’ me as to ‘accompany’ me on my faith journey.  With very few guidelines and parameters, we started to meet on a monthly basis until I became increasingly frustrated with what I perceived as a lack of direction on her part, and certainly confusion on mine as to what sort of conversations we were supposed to be having. After a few months, she and her husband moved out of town and I needed to find another person to accompany me on my faith journey.

My next spiritual director was a former nun who was a very kind and loving woman. Unfortunately, I quickly realized that she had some major issues with the Catholic Church, specifically with the male-dominated hierarchy. The advice she gave me often centered on the need for change in the spiritual practices of the church and the role that I, as a woman, would need to make to move the Church forward. This left me with feelings of confusion rather than encouragement.  Ultimately, due to her physical illness, I needed to find another person to fill the role of spiritual director.  Some months later, I started meeting with my pastor, whose approach seemed very judgmental and harsh. Much later, I realized that the wisdom that he had regarding my spiritual life was sound, but the manner in which he presented that wisdom was so off-putting that I dreaded continuing.

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Crystal and Kevin Sullivan

The only language she could communicate in was Tamil. When I met her—I had just reached India—I could neither understand nor speak any Indian language.

After I started moving around India, I lost touch with her and, sadly, forgot her name. In this article, I shall refer to her as Anbu Aasiriyai (loving teacher).

I had started learning Tamil with a small book, Learn Tamil in 30 Days, but had soon realized that I wouldn’t make it even in thirty months! I seriously needed extra help. Though I could more or less read and write, it still was a series of sounds/words that were meaningless to me. I was then introduced to Anbu Aasiriyai through someone who knew someone.  Though, looking back, it sounds bit crazy, since we could hardly communicate, we both embarked on this language adventure. That was some twenty-six years ago.

She had remained unmarried and lived with her widowed brother and his adopted son. She had been teaching Tamil in a Christian High School for many years.

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Sr Marie Gabrielle SCSM

Both women and men are actively involved in education.

When it comes to medical work, Sister Doctors and Sister Nurses manage and work in most Catholic hospitals and smaller medical centres. This is largely their world. Men religious and diocesan priests play a very minor role here.

India has 1,000 Sister Doctors. They form an association called the Sister Doctors Forum of India (SDFI). This forum conducted a survey among its members in 2018. They did it in collaboration with the Catholic Health Association of India (CHAI), which covers over 3500 centres, includes five medical colleges and has over 76,000 medical professionals in their institutions.  The results give us interesting and inspiring details about their life, work, location, concerns and struggles—and what sustains them in their demanding ministry.

As their report says, “eighteen per cent of the world’s population lives in India, and many states of India have populations similar to those of large countries. [See the map.] There is inequality of burden across states and across diseases status… India also faces a triple burden of disease communicable, non-communicable and nutritional. This is compounded in women with the addition of reproductive health associated disorders. Out of pocket expenditure is the norm and the brunt is worse in rural areas. The current healthcare systems fails to reach out to the underprivileged poor, a gap that the Sister Doctors are in a unique position to fill.”

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Fr Joe Mannath SDB

I belong to Franciscan Sisters of Our Lady of Graces (FSLG). It was my childhood dream to become a missionary for Jesus and to go to the villages to tell them about the love of God. And I wanted to be far from my home. So, I joined a congregation based in UP. Our superiors had a dream of having a doctor in the congregation, and asked me to go for MBBS. I didn’t want to, because of the fear of losing my vocation and my laziness to study.

 But God’s plan was that I should become a doctor. That is why I am a sister doctor today. I joined the 1983 batch of MBBS in St John’s Medical College, Bangalore. I have fond memories of my batch mates and of our undergraduate life.

After I took charge in the Our Lady of Graces Hospital, Sardhana, UP, I felt lost. It was a completely different scenario from St. John’s: Twenty beds, no other doctors, no facilities. Staff: Three sister nurses and me.

I then asked the Lord Jesus, “What do you want me to do?”  He told me to convert this building to a hospital, to improve the health of women and children. “Fear not, for I am with you.” And I said yes.

Sardhana is twenty kilometres from Meerut city and about ninety kilometres from New Delhi. It was a small township, more like a remote village. According to the 2011 census, its population is 58,252, of which 64% are Muslims, 29% Hindus and others 7%. Christians number around five hundred in all.

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Sr Liza FSLG

Merciful Thief

Late one evening, I received a call in my mobile from a friend of mine.  I was shocked to know that he had met with an accident and was taken to a nearby hospital.  I rushed to the hospital. I found that my friend had a number of minor injuries and that his clothes were torn. As soon as he could move, I took him to a ready-made store and got him new clothes.  We realized, too, that his mobile phone was missing.  I asked him about the call I received; and then we tried calling his number, which was switched off.  We understood that the mobile phone was stolen; and we were also surprised to know that the thief had done a noble task of informing me by calling the Emergency Contact saved in my friend’s mobile.

ICE – Emergency Contacts

Most of us—including those using a mobile for years—do not seem to be aware of the Emergency Contacts, or ICE-Emergency Contacts (In Case of Emergency – Emergency Contacts).  This Emergency Contact is for use by someone other than the owner, when the owner meets with some emergency.  First of all, we should check whether we have provided the Emergency Contact in our mobile; secondly, we should know how to use this Emergency Contact during any emergency situation we may come across.

Storing Emergency Contacts:

How do we store these Emergency contacts? That depends on the type of phone we are using. There are basically these three types of mobiles available today. I shall explain how to store the Emergency Contact numbers in each of these models.

Simple Mobile with Key-Pad OR Smart Phone without Screen-Lock	Smart Phone with Screen-Lock	iPhone
1. Store your close relatives’ numbers as    Father / Dad    Mother / Mom    Husband / Hubby    Wife 2. To have these contacts in the top of the contact list, store them as    .Father    A.Father, etc.	When you want to store one or more numbers to appear in the ICE-Emergency Contacts: 1. While adding a new contact, use the option ‘Groups’ (which will be as Not Assigned) 2. Choose the option : ICE – emergency contacts	1. Open the Health app and tap the Medical ID tab. 2. Tap Edit, then scroll to Emergency Contacts. 3. To add an emergency contact, tap   under emergency contacts. Tap a contact, then add their relationship. 4. To remove an emergency contact, tap   next to the contact, then tap Delete. 5. Tap Done.
	Note: Please do not use ISD number, for this option

How to use ICE – Emergency Contacts:

When we come across someone in an emergency situation, where the person is unable to use the mobile or tell us whom to contact, we can help the person by contacting someone whose number is stored in the mobile phone:

Simple Mobilewith Key-Pad OR Smart Phonewithout Screen-Lock	Smart Phone with Screen-Lock	Locked iPhone
1. Call any of the relatives’ or friends’ contact number, which may have been saved as: Father / Dad  or  .Father  or  A.Father, etc.,    OR 2. Call the last called number and enquire about the person; or get the close relatives’ or friend’s number and contact that person.	1. Swipe the Phone icon at the bottom of the phone 2. Tap the Emergency Call 3. Contact any of the ICE – Emergency Contacts you see in the display/	1. Go to Emergency Call 2. Tap the Medical ID 3. You will find the emergency contact 4. Use those Emergency Contact number; and call from the same mobile

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Rocky