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“There are only two ways to live our life: one, as though nothing is a miracle; the other, as though everything is a miracle.“ (Albert Einstein)

A middle-aged husband and father now and an experienced management consultant, the author looks back at the years he spent in religious life and highlights the best lessons from that part  of his life. Leslie studied in a Don Bosco school, joined the Salesians, and went through several years of formation. After serious discernment, he found it best to choose the life of a layman. What did he pick up in religious life? What impact did it have on his later life and career?

Joining and Leaving

The earliest memory of transformation I have, was from being nicknamed ‘chicken’ in high school to ‘palm tree’ by the end of my novitiate with the Salesians of Don Bosco at Yercaud. Was that a miracle? I certainly felt so.

Something incredible happened to my life the moment I decided to join religious life. From a carefree playful boy, I was graduating to be a more responsible and serious person. I assiduously soaked in the understanding to the new way of life. The motto of St. Dominic Savio (‘Death rather than Sin’) captured my imagination. Despite all my seriousness…

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Leslie D’Souza

Who are “minorities” in India?

What rights do they have?

What national and international laws are there to safeguard their rights?

The protection of the minorities gradually evolved and came to be covered within the concept of human rights and fundamental freedoms as enshrined in the United Nations Charter. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights 1948 declares that “all human beings are equal in dignity and rights” and prohibit all kinds of discrimination—racial, religious, etc. This was incorporated in Article 27 of the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, as: “In those States in which ethnic, religious or linguistic minorities exist, persons belonging to such minorities shall not be denied the right, in community with other members of their group, to enjoy their own culture, to profess and practice their own religion, or use their own language.”

When speaking about India, we know that India is a colorful conglomeration of numerous races, religions, sects, languages, scripts, culture and traditions, with varying differences in dress, food habits, worship, customs, culture and language.  Therefore, the need to protect the interests of the minorities was felt even from the pre-independence era onwards. The vulnerability of the minorities was recognized. In the draft constitution of 1928 by Motilal Nehru, religious and cultural rights of the minorities and their protection were recognized. Emphasizing the importance of protecting the minorities, Jawaharlal Nehru stated the following;

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Sr Tresa Paul SCSC

KEVIN

I still remember some of my first impressions when Crystal passed along Father Joe’s invitation to write a column for a new magazine he was seeking to publish in India. While I have a great deal of respect and admiration for the intellect and spirituality of my dear bride, I have to admit feeling insecure about our ability to write something that might be relevant and relatable to an audience centered half a world away. Even in our short, two week stay in India I was able to identify some significant differences in the cultures of our two countries. I can only imagine how much I have not experienced and the differences that I can’t fully comprehend. All of those doubts came rushing back to me as I contemplated what we might offer on the subject of minority rights, a subject which has once again catapulted itself into forefront of cultural consciousness in the United Sates. As our politics have become ever more divisive and our appetite for identifying and sometimes self-identifying new minorities seeming to be insatiable, it is difficult to create a context to discuss minority rights these days. Life wasn’t always quite so complicated.

The American Experience

Perhaps the simplest and clearest way to express the context for a discussion on minority rights in the U.S. can be found in the Declaration of Independence authored in 1776 by a group of American revolutionaries seeking to become independent of British rule. In this document the colonists declared: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” In this context human rights were clearly focused as universal, God given rights to pursue a life free…

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Crystal and Kevin Sullivan

During my 8^th and 9^th grades, Thérèse was my mathematics and faith formation teacher. She belonged to the Holy Cross Congregation. I knew she was a Sister, but we did not have to call her “Sister.” She just related with all as a sister, without any air of piety, or ‘holier than thou’ attitude. Apart from the fact that she did not wear any fancy dress, make up or jewelry, Thérèse looked absolutely ‘normal.’ She was completely ‘one among u.’ It took me years to be able to realize the generosity and distinctiveness of her commitment to God and to people.

Thérèse was a vivacious and cheerful woman. The problem was: I really loathed maths, her main subject. Thérèse thought a lot about how to help students learn and improve not only in her subject but as human beings.

One day, she came up with a new idea. She paired us, an academically strong student with a struggling one. I still remember being a bit annoyed with her plan, but she did not give us any choice. On the whole it proved a very ‘bearable experiment.’ My companion was a kind, soft-spoken boy with whom it was impossible not to get along.

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Sr Marie Gabrielle Riopel SCSM

There is a huge difference between the two—which, sadly, leaders often forget or neglect.

Here is an example.

In the much-acclaimed book, Why Leaders Can’t Lead, world-renowned leadership guru Warren Bennis cites his own example.

He was president of a university. One day, he was at his desk at 4.00 am, still busy with the previous day’s work. That is when inspiration struck him.

I am busy answering routine mail, checking routine jobs, he thought.

Much of the correspondence was about a particular employee who, convinced that he must share child-rearing duties with his wife, used to bring his baby to the office. People were strongly for or against this man.

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FR JOE MANNATH SDB

In this interview, Father Thomas D’Cunha, Chaplain at Holy Family Hospital, New Delhi, shares the experiences that have touched him most in his hospital ministry. He has seen the power of prayer, the deep faith of persons of other faiths in Jesus’ healing touch, the generous commitment of hospital staff. He also lets us see the source of his strength for ministry. He is a diocesan priest of Delhi Archdiocese.

He was interviewed for MAGNET by our Associate Editor, Sr Theresa Phawa FMA.

MAGNET: Father Thomas, could you please share some of your touching experiences as hospital chaplain?

In my two-year ministry as the chaplain of the hospital, I have come across persons with various types of suffering and pain. I have accompanied a good number of them with my prayers, distribution of the Holy Communion, through the sacraments of confession and anointing of the sick; and counselling for many others. While rendering my priestly ministry, I not only bear witness to my Catholic faith; I have become stronger in it. I have witnessed the faith of patients in the healing power of Jesus, more often from those who are Hindus, Muslims and others.

I would like to recall a few incidents that have enriched my own faith and strengthened my trust in God.

In one of my daily rounds in the hospital, I met a lady from Haryana, whose husband was hospitalised with a very critical health condition. Sadness gripped her heart, and she felt helpless. She would go into the hospital chapel every day, and prostrate herself in prayer. There was perpetual adoration in the chapel, but she did not know what that means, nor who Jesus is. All she knew was that there is a God who can give what she needed. She approached me and asked for prayer and blessing for her husband. “Only Jesus can do something,” she said. What a strong faith from a Hindu woman! I did pray for the ailing man, gave him my blessing and made sure that I visited his sickbed. The healing power of God worked a miracle! He got better. The woman’s joy was boundless. She came to thank me for my prayers. It is not me nor my prayers alone that brought about this healing. I strongly believe it was her own faith in the divine healing power of Jesus.

Another touching case. A woman from Jharkhand who works in Delhi, and whom I knew, was brought to the hospital with brain haemorrhage. Emergency operations were done, but there was no great improvement. Her son was heart-broken and lost all hope. I saw his sorrow and knew that he was undergoing a lot of pain. As I assured him of my prayer, I prayed for her every day. After about a week, I again witnessed a miracle happening, a quick healing which was not expected. With faith, her son and I earnestly sought God’s healing power to touch and grant a healing that is beyond all medical sciences and technology can perceive or comprehend. The son convincingly acknowledged that it was purely a miraculous healing and he is deeply grateful to God who answers our prayers.

Yet another incident was an urgent call from a lawyer to inform me that his colleague’s mother was on ventilation for days in our hospital. The family and relatives were not sure of what to decide about her case – to leave her in that situation for more days or take her home for a peaceful death. I was therefore called to counsel them. In critical cases, I have given counselling to many with regard to accepting life, sickness and most importantly death. In some cases, it is successful, while many find it difficult to accept the reality of death. In this particular situation, as in many similar ones, I accompanied my counselling with prayers for the patient and the family, knowing that they were in a dilemma. The result was that the family was able to decide what was best for the patient. Their faith in my prayer and counselling, which is of a priest who represents God, is incredible. They were sure of what they asked and God granted it, simply because of their trust in God that HE can do anything for them.

So, this is an active type of ministry. I find that prayer is effective in all ways. Not only Christians call me for prayer, Holy Communion or anointing of the sick; Hindus, Muslims and others come and fold their hands asking me to lay my hands on their sick ones. I willingly spend time with every patient in prayer. After I have said a prayer, they would immediately reach for my hands to bless them. I do this with the sign of the cross. Their faith in the prayer of a Catholic priest edifies me a lot. This calls for a greater commitment from me. God works through his people and through me in spite of my unworthiness.

MAGNET: Who are the patients? What is their background?

The patients come from all sorts of backgrounds. They differ by place of origin, language, religion, income, education and medical condition.

The hospital always opens its doors or whatever available places, especially in times of epidemics. There have been times when the rooms were packed, yet no patient was denied treatment; they would be given a wheel chair and lie along the corridors just to get proper treatment. Above all this, the staff members are dedicated and ready to render help and assistance even though it meant risking their health too.

The hospital compound is also a welcoming place for everyone. For example, you may find the Muslim community gathering beneath the trees for Namaz whenever their hour of prayer comes. They feel at home to do this. For me, this speaks volumes on the friendly and welcoming spirit that prevails on the hospital campus.

MAGNET: You will certainly see the doctors, nurses and other staff at work. What have you learnt from them?

Apart from the Catholic priests engaged in the Hospital administration, the hospital has a large number of lay staff: around two thousand in all, working at different levels and in various departments. Although Holy Family is a Catholic hospital, most of our staff belong to other faiths. When we speak about their dedication to work, I would say, it is tremendously inspiring. They are always ready to come to the hospital in emergency situations even if they are not on duty.  For instance, when there was a fire in one of the apartments in the neighbourhood, victims were brought in to our hospital. Some were dead. Others were seriously injured. The doctors and other staff members responded to the emergency call and rushed from their homes or quarters to help out the people on time. It is indeed inspiring to recall how they feel the sense of service without counting the cost in terms of time, energy and their home situations. They are ready to make sacrifices at any point of time when required. As you know, in this type of work, an emergency can crop up any time.

As for the doctors and nurses so, they are truly a dedicated group. I like to mention in particular the nurses who reside in the hospital quarters or hostels. They are always ready to give extra service. Some of them were even called at night when required. I am edified to see them go cheerfully without murmuring or complaining. Seeing this has increased my own motivation as the chaplain here.

MAGNET: All ministries face hurdles. What do you see as problems or difficulties in your type of work?

So far, I have not come across or felt any difficulty in carrying out my ministry here in the hospital. I find my mission fruitful, and it is a witness. There were moments when I was not allowed to meet patients of swine flu without wearing a mask. Even though I would say, “Don’t worry, Jesus is with me, He will cover me,” they would not let me in without a mask, since they were concerned about my safety.  There were also cases when I was stopped from meeting Tuberculosis patients. I could only bless them from outside the room. I understand that such rules are good, and they protect everyone’s health. But, in those moments, I really felt bad about it. However, I believe that the patients too understand such situations. They realize why I cannot approach them and bless them.

MAGNET: The nursing students belong to different faiths. What do they feel about the Catholic prayers we say?

The Nursing School is open to students of all faiths. One thing that strikes me very much is that they are very open to our Catholic prayers and services, especially the Holy Eucharist. They know very well that we will not impose any practice on them, nor try to “convert” them to our faith. I find that many students of other faiths are often better examples of a Christian spirit and a Catholic way of life than many who profess the Catholic faith.

Once a student belonging to another faith approached me and asked me to hear her confession. I took time to explain to her about the practice of the sacrament in the Catholic church. Nevertheless, she was persistent to make her confession. I finally agreed, making it clear that I would do would be to listen her and offer her some counselling. That is what she wanted. This was one of the touching experiences I had with the nursing students here in the hospital.

MAGNET: Any group or person or experience that impressed you in particular?

Yes, I would like to say a word of appreciation to the Medical Mission Sisters (MMS) who are here. [Holy Family Hospital was started by the Medical Missions Sisters, who ran it for years, and then handed it over to the Archdiocese of Delhi.]  Those of them who are working in the hospital are not so young. Yet, they have such zeal and strength to carry out the task of either working in the hospital or teaching in the nursing college. Their active role in the college is worth emulating, and, for me personally, very inspiring. Love has no limit. Age does not limit one’s sense of duty or one’s passion to serve humanity. This is what I see in these Sisters.

MAGNET: In meeting sick people and their family members every day, and in trying to bring them comfort and hope, what is your main source of strength?

Jesus in the Holy Eucharist gives me strength and confidence. Every morning I spend an hour in prayer and meditation. I allow the Lord to walk with me all through the day. Whenever I lay my hands on the sick, it is the Lord who works through my humble priestly ministry. I am always available at any time or part of the day for any urgent call from the patients. Hence, I do not go out much. Reason: They may look for a priest any time. As long as I am here, this is my passion—to spend time with the patients and pray for them and accompany them even if it is just by words of comfort or encouragement.

In my twenty-three years of priesthood, I have always experienced the presence of God as the strength of my life and ministry. In one of the parishes where I worked earlier, God worked a miracle through my humble prayers for those in need. There was a lady who was desperate because she had sold everything she owned to apply for a job abroad. But she was not called for the interview. However, her trust in God’s power was great and inspiring. She came daily to the church for Mass and personal prayer. When she told me about her problem, I was impressed by her faith in God, on whom she relies completely. I assured her my prayers and we recited novena prayer to St Anthony, who is known as the “restorer of what is lost.” She had an admirable devotion to this well-known saint. To my amazement, within three days, she was called for the interview and her visa was also granted. The lady was so overwhelmed by the favour received from God through the intercession of St. Anthony. To show her deep gratitude, she came to the parish, cleaned the church and offered a donation for its renovation, since the building needed repairs.

God gives us strength when we place all our trust in him and serve his people with love. We are only his humble servants or instruments in His hands.

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Sr Theresa Phawa FMA

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“The sorrowing, the sick, the unwanted, the lonely, both young and old, rich and poor, all come to my window. No one listens, they tell me, and so I listen and tell them what they have just told me. And, I sit in silence, listening, letting them grieve. ‘Julian, you are wise,’ they say, ‘You have been gifted with understanding.’ All I did was listen.  For I believe full surely that God’s spirit is in us all, giving light, wisdom, understanding, speaking words in us when we cannot speak, showing us gently what we would not see; what we are afraid to see; so that we may show pity, mercy, forgiveness to ourselves.” (Julian of Norwich, in the play “Julian” by J. Janda)

The goal of spiritual direction is to create that safe space in which an openness and responsiveness to God’s presence in one’s life may be attended to and nurtured.   The reality of God’s presence is revealed in the everyday events of life. In spiritual direction the directee invites the director to walk around that lived experience with her or him so that the fullness and richness of life in all of its diverse facets may be revealed to one’s self, and thus the fullness of the Divine presence may be more fully realized, and one’s life may be more abundant.

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Sr Sharon Gray SCN

Fifteen basic truths about spiritual direction! They may help to remove some cobwebs of confusion and help us see the beauty and meaning of this practice. I have no doubt that every one of us will lead a happier, fuller and more enthusiastic life if we shared our inner journey—the best and the worst about us—with someone wise and honest who truly cares for us. Much confusion, many blunders and the drudgery of a monotonous and meaningless life can be avoided if we learnt to look into our inner self and talk it over with the right kind of person.

All the best on this adventure!

1. A very meaningful, happy and enjoyable experience! Chit-chats about superficial matters (weather, food, fashion, sports) can fill our time, but will not fill our heart! They leave us feeling empty. Try looking into yourself instead (e.g., Am I happy? What do I want to do with my life? What place does God have in my life? Am I taking the right decisions? How do I learn to love?). Talking such deep matters over with the right of kind of person is what spiritual direction is all about. You are truly blessed if you find such a person, and if you open up and share. I feel deeply grateful that I got such chances. Deep sharing led to deep joy and peace and renewed inner strength. Try and see!

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Fr Joe Mannath SDB

Mary and Peter have been married for five years. Fights more than closeness mark their life. s. Mutual love has given way to mutual blaming. What will help them better—marriage counselling or a good retreat?

Imelda is a twenty-year-old novice. She carries a shameful secret that makes her tense, angry and afraid of men. She was sexually abused by her uncle at the age of thirteen. What does she need for healing—counselling, spiritual direction, a good confession or psychiatric help?

Ever since he lost his wife and children and house in the tsunami, Alphonse has no interest in anything—meals, work, talking, or even in living. How can we help him best?

Any of us can go through such situations. No one knows for sure which approach will give us the best results. How do we know what each approach can do?

Here are the four basic ways of helping people with personal or interpersonal problems.

1. COUNSELLING

Counselling takes place when a person under distress meets someone he/she trusts and shares the problem, and finds relief and renewed strength. I have seen great changes in people (including myself) as a result of counselling. I remember a priest in his thirties who always looked depressed become a joyful and vibrant person after just one good therapy session.

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Fr Joe Mannath SDB

In 2000, as I began my studies at Catholic Theological Union in Chicago, I was informed that one of the requirements of participating in the Masters program was to begin meeting with a spiritual director. Without any clear understanding of what this might entail or what was required of me, I obtained the name of a woman who had just recently completed her certificate as a Spiritual Director. At our first meeting, she explained that she was not there so much to ‘direct’ me as to ‘accompany’ me on my faith journey.  With very few guidelines and parameters, we started to meet on a monthly basis until I became increasingly frustrated with what I perceived as a lack of direction on her part, and certainly confusion on mine as to what sort of conversations we were supposed to be having. After a few months, she and her husband moved out of town and I needed to find another person to accompany me on my faith journey.

My next spiritual director was a former nun who was a very kind and loving woman. Unfortunately, I quickly realized that she had some major issues with the Catholic Church, specifically with the male-dominated hierarchy. The advice she gave me often centered on the need for change in the spiritual practices of the church and the role that I, as a woman, would need to make to move the Church forward. This left me with feelings of confusion rather than encouragement.  Ultimately, due to her physical illness, I needed to find another person to fill the role of spiritual director.  Some months later, I started meeting with my pastor, whose approach seemed very judgmental and harsh. Much later, I realized that the wisdom that he had regarding my spiritual life was sound, but the manner in which he presented that wisdom was so off-putting that I dreaded continuing.

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Crystal and Kevin Sullivan