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Three True Stories

Her demeanour was humble and her voice gentle. We all knew her as a woman of great goodness and faith, whose virtue sustained her family and inspired many others.

Because of her husband’s alcoholism and refusal to do any work, she suffered much, and was deeply pained that their children were not given the opportunities that her siblings’ children received. Seeing her younger sister’s children performing better in school and going on to more prestigious careers, she told me, “I must admit that when I see her children do better than mine, I feel jealous. My children are bright, too; but they did not get the chances that her kids got. We cannot afford to send them to good schools. I wish I could enrol them in the best schools, but I can’t.”

A woman cannot be blamed for feeling bad that her children were not getting the opportunities that her siblings’ kids got because she lacked the means. Her admitting her feelings of jealousy shows honesty and goodness. There is no malice in that feeling. She did not go around pulling down her younger sister or speaking ill of her nephews and nieces.

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Fr Joe Mannath SDB

The value of a gem depends on a number of factors, such as colour, clarity, purity, carat weight, cut, etc.

When we speak about human beings how do we determine the ‘worth’ of a person? The world has some criteria which can change; but what about God’s criteria?

This story is about a senior woman religious. At first, there seems to be nothing special about her… That is, until you realize the richness of her spiritual journey and see how people, even now, seek her quiet presence, kind blessings and wise advice.

Sister Catherine, a contemplative Carmelite, hardly ever travelled, preached or accomplished any extraordinary feat. For nearly sixty years, she has lived in the same place, with almost the same community members. Her days, right from the beginning, have been spent in the same way: prayer, fraternal life, work and rest. Most of her time is spent in silence. Even as I write this, the first thought that comes to me is: How monotonous and boring this sounds! However, Sr Catherine looks anything but bored! Whenever you meet her, she is invariably welcoming, smiling in a kind, unassuming way.

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Sr Marie Gabrielle Riopel SCSM

The new Foreign Contribution (Regulation) Act, 2010 (FCRA) and Foreign Contribution (Regulation) Rules, 2011 (FCRR) together form one document dealing with the provisions of the foreign contributions. It has the twin objectives of regulating the foreign contributions to enforce compliance of the provisions of the Act, as well as its proper utilization for the purpose for which it was received.  It is an internal security law under the Ministry of Home Affairs and hence it is concerned about the national security and law and order in the country.

What is a foreign contribution?

Any donation in cash or kind from a foreign source comes under foreign contribution.   A donation or contribution has to be made freely without any consideration or expecting anything in return.  Thus, any donation, in cash or kind, irrespective of the currency in consideration, received from a foreign source is a foreign contribution. Thus, any donation received from a foreign individual or foundation, in Indian or foreign currency, will be treated as foreign contribution.

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Fr Alex Gnanapragasam SJ

While in a neighbouring country for a workshop, I visited a convent where I knew a few nuns. The superior of the community told me, “You must visit the youngest member of our community.” I was taken to an upstairs room where I met Sister Mary (name changed). She had a beaming smile and her entire face had a glow of joy which lit up the room. She engaged me in pleasant conversation. She was ninety-seven years young! She had been lying in bed for a few months now. To move anywhere, she had to be helped on to a wheelchair. Despite her condition, she appeared so happy and fulfilled. She had the ability to make others happy. I said to myself, “That’s what it means to age gracefully!” My encounter with Sister Mary happened more than twenty years ago. But the image of the beaming, joyful sister who had aged so gracefully remains an inedible and delightful memory. There are countless others like Sister Mary who have been able to age gracefully, despite many setbacks and limitations.

Post midlife-years can be difficult for a variety of reasons. The slowing down of metabolism and weakening immune system can lead to disabilities and illness. Loss of hearing, impaired vision, and limited motor agility can be particularly frustrating. There can be lack of feelings of self-efficacy for a variety of reasons. The negative attitudes expressed by family/community members, colleagues, and younger people toward the incompetence, dependence, or old-fashioned ways of older people can lead many of them to feel discouraged and doubt their self-worth.  Despite these challenges, it is possible to age gracefully.

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Fr Jose Parappully SDB

Which is the second most profitable business? (The first is the sale of arms.) It is a world of cruelty and degradation beyond words—the sale of human beings, especially of women and children. This has overtaken the profits drug dealers make. The reason is cruel and tragic: Unlike drugs, a human being can be sold over and over again.

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A Night to Remember

It happened one day 2014. We approached a brothel in the red-light area of Kamatipura, Mumbai. Our team included members from the International Justice Organization (IJM), the local police, some social workers and lawyers and a witness. One of our helpers posed as “customer,” started chatting with a minor call, and then called us. We moved in quickly.

We entered the brothel—a dark, filthy, stinking room, with piles of boxes of condoms lying in the corner. The money for the girls was kept hidden elsewhere by the pimp.

After the raid, the police took statements from the minor girls. They were then taken to a shelter home.

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Sr Gracy Rodrigues FDCC

KEVIN

Before sitting down to write this article, I would have said that I have never had a problem with jealousy. However, as I have pondered this topic over the last week, I had to ask myself whether or not it was really true that I have never been a jealous person.  After all, we live in a hyper competitive and comparative culture. How can one avoid not being jealous or covetous of others from time to time?  I guess I was blessed to grow up in humble beginnings, coming from a large family and living in a small town in farm country. Our family was neither well-to-do nor poor. As far as I can remember, we were just like the rest of the families in town.  We didn’t have a lot, but we had enough.  Even though there were nine of us kids, our parents left us with the impression that there was always enough love to go around.  I was also fortunate to grow up in Catholic schools staffed by priests and nuns who taught us not to look at those who had more but to look for ways to reach out to those who had less. By the time I was old enough to recognize that there were others who had a lot more than we did, I had already come to realize it didn’t really make any difference in the grand scheme of things.

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Crystal and Kevin Sullivan

God gifts us with life. Time. Health of body and mind. Opportunities. Good people who care for us. Many public services we enjoy, thanks to others’ hard work.

What will I do to make the new year wonderful—for myself, for my dear ones, and for a few more people?

Here are suggestions. Pick up a few you like. (These are adapted from my book, A Closer Look)

 Things to do every day

1. As soon as you wake up, take a few moments to become aware of the gift the new day of life is. Thank God for the new day, for health, for loved ones, for the opportunities the day brings. Remind yourself that God thinks of you with love every moment.
2. Decide to be honest, loving and happy for the next twenty-four hours. Think of a good deed you can do today, without expecting a reward in kind or in words. What will you do? For whom?
3. Plan your day. Every night, write down your plans for the next day. At the end of the day, check what you have completed.
4. During the day—in your home, in the bus, while walking, at work, when tired or frightened—talk to God in silence, in your own words.
5. Take time for physical exercise: Walk (at least half an hour). Climb stairs rather than take the lift; do yoga or calisthenics at least for ten minutes a day.

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Fr Joe Mannath SDB

Here are persons whom sickness or tragedy or a deep revelation “woke up.” Their eyes were opened. A fire was lit within. A new and fuller life followed.

“I lived only two years!”

Sr Agnes died a few months ago. When I got the news, I remembered something she shared with me years ago—after her second bout of cancer. She suffered from cancer, was treated, got well, and thought she was free of cancer. But in two years, the cancer was back. This second attack was harder to take.

“I have lived only two years,” she told me. “Earlier, I took everything for granted. I did not reflect. I didn’t realize what a priceless gift life and health are. After I was healed of cancer, I really appreciated everything—a person’s smile, the sound of good singing, the words in the Breviary. Everything was real. I was alive. I wasted so many years of my life. I have really lived only these two years. And now, the cancer is back!”

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Fr Joe Mannath SDB

While preparing this issue of MAGNET, I was struck by a quote from Stephen Covey, the legendary expert on effective living: ““Time management is really a misnomer. The challenge is not to manage time, but to manage ourselves.”

How true.

Time is a gift. I cannot give it to myself. That I am alive today and healthy enough to write this article, and you are alive and well enough to read it—both these are gifts we can acknowledge (or ignore). We cannot give it to ourselves. As Jesus said, we cannot add a little bit to our lifespan by worrying about it.

I can only hope that I will be alive until tonight. I cannot give another day to myself, nor can anyone else guarantee it.

Covey is right. What I need to learn is to manage myself within the time I am blessed with.

Do you agree?

Time is money? No!

Taking cues from the business world, some of us tend to say things like, “Time is money.” I disagree. Totally.

If the value of time were measured by the money we make or lose, then the best things we do in life would be worthless—spending time with loved ones, visiting  a sick relative, holding one’s children in one’s lap and playing with them, praying, enjoying nature, reaching out to a needy person, …

And some of the world’s best human beings—who spent their lives doing good, without getting paid for it—would have wasted their life

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Fr Joe Mannath SDB

For most of my life as a Catholic, I have heard that to be faithful stewards of Christ we must share our time, talent and treasure. Each of these three gifts are valuable in their own way and for different needs.  At times, it may be that money is the most immediate need, such as if there is a leaky roof or emergency situation in a far away country where we are physically unable to be present to serve. At times, our talent is most needed, to perhaps lead a group in a new project which requires particular skills and experiences, or when a budget needs to be drawn up. And then there is the stewardship of our time, which is such a valuable commodity in this busy world of ours. The enthusiasm with which we spend our time on various aspects of our life often reflects the true values we hold in our hearts.

At a workshop long ago, I heard that we should always make time for the things that we really care about. As part of an exercise, we were asked to place rocks into a jar.  There were several large rocks and many more small rocks.  We were asked to put all the rocks into the jar if possible.  For those who put all the small rocks in first, the large rocks no longer fit.  But for those who put the big rocks in first, the smaller ones fell around them and through them and there was plenty of room for both. The lesson is that what we believe to be the most important use of our life should be a big rock and be given the priority of time.  It could well be that when we get our priorities right, there will still be time for other things that are good but not quite as valuable.  For example, over the years I simply stopped sending out Christmas cards to the 150 people in my address book. It all started when I decided to dedicate more time for remaining calm and prayerful during Advent…

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Crystal and Kevin Sullivan