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I prefer the term, “Celibate Communities,” rather than “Consecrated Life” (for every baptized person is consecrated to God) or “religious life” (God alone knows who is more religious or less so), or “vowed life” (for married people too make a vow). What distinguishes me from my parents or married relatives and friends, is celibacy, lived in community with other adults of the same gender. Celibacy and same gender community evidently distinguish us from lay persons. I do not claim to be more “religious” than my married siblings, nor more “consecrated” than they, who received the same Baptism that I did. Both they and I have vows to keep.

Relevance and Necessity Unclear

How relevant and meaningful is this way of today? Should we propose it to today’s young women and men? For what? Does it have a future? Or, is it largely an outdated and somewhat irrelevant form of life which may have served a purpose in earlier times, but is irrelevant today—as many seem to think?

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Fr Joe Mannath SDB

Rather than quote books or theorize about religious life, we preferred to hear directly from those who are living it today, here, in our setting. In any profession or vocation, after all, it is those who live it who know it best.

We were blessed to get personal answers from eleven religious—a Bishop, four Sisters, three Brothers, two Priests and a Theology student. We also got frank and sensible feedback from a laywoman and a layman, both of whom know women and men religious from close quarters and for long. Their friendly feedback will appear in later issues of MAGNET. Here we present the “insiders’ views” that we received.

We sent each of them the following eight questions. In replying, most followed the same order. A few made slight changes.

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KEVIN

Over the past few years Crystal and I have been privileged, honored and blessed to be permitted to share our thoughts and ideas with the readers of Magnet. Each time I sit down to write a little something, I am absolutely humbled as I contemplate the magnificent and holy people who read this publication. I feel so unworthy as I read all of the wisdom and insights of those who write articles and comments. Yet we trust in the vision of our beloved editor Fr Joe Mannath and bow to his persistent belief that we might actually have something for the readers to consider. In these last years we have sought to share from a different vocational perspective on the same issues and themes on which others were writing. Admittedly, we occasionally had doubts that what a married couple from the West might have to say on the given theme would be relevant to most of the readers. Yet it was always rewarding to consider how to be relevant to a group of dedicated Catholic priests, religious and laity.  Now, we are going to give up!  No, not on writing for Magnet. Remember that persistent editor? Well, he has granted us a new freedom to share not only our perspective with you but also to share more of our lived experience in our vocation of a married couple. So that is what we will try to do in the months ahead.

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Crystal and Kevin Sullivan

RELIGIOUS LIFE—A “MESSY” JOURNEY

“I am disillusioned,” Sister Rupa told me. “What happened?” I asked. “I am upset with what I see happening in religious life. It is so different from what I expected it to be. I had thought it would be a place where we would really love one another, help one another toward holiness and do good together. But what I see is pettiness, backbiting, jealousies and infantile behaviour. I’ve had enough of this. I’ve been thinking of giving up this life.”

Sr Rupa’s lament reminded me of an article in the Review of Religious (1994, May-June, 440-451) by Presentation of Mary Sister Susan Beaudry and Marist Father Edwin Keel entitled “Journeying to God Together.”

In the context of Sr Rupa’s lament I would like to reflect on the first part of Beaudry and Keel’s definition – Journey.

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FR JOSE PARAPPULLY SDB

I have a problem! My mind wanders . . . if ever I could harness it, rein it in, and keep it still. But I just cannot. Today, during our daily Holy Communion service, I remembered with a certain nostalgia the long Sundays in the Men’s Central Jail in Los Angeles, USA, conducting the Communion services for the inmates. There was only one priest (and he only spoke English) for the 5,000 or so inmates. He would come for one Sunday Mass for a group of about eighty inmates. The rest of the inmates? We had to reach them through Communion services.

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Brother Carmel Duca MC

The seed of religious vocation was sown in me many years ago when I was a little girl. The Loreto Sisters in school never ceased to fill me with wonder and awe. I wished to become like them some day. It took me many years to take the plunge to join religious life. I was already an independent working woman when I was reminded of my call. Finally, in 2009, I took the leap of faith to join Loreto.

I came as a late vocation to the congregation thinking I knew the congregation well, with a deep desire and hope to live a radical life. Over the last ten years life taught me many lessons. It changed my mindset and perceptions, and showed me the vulnerable and human side of religious life. My fancy ideas slowly melted away and I was faced with the ordinary. Many times, I have asked myself why I am still here.

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Sr Greta Robert IBVM

Managing life and relationships matters more than maintaining machines

What are soft skills? Why are they crucially important?

There is mounting evidence that soft skills matter much—for personal happiness, success and leadership. Most CEOs of large companies believe that, for success in business, especially in leadership roles, soft skills matter more than hard skills. In fact, according to the world-famous Forbes Magazine, “ninety-four per cent of recruiters believe that top-notch soft skills outweigh experience when it comes to promotion to leadership positions.”

Here is a surprising example.

When Ratan Tata, one of India’s most esteemed and successful business tycoons,  was asked what struck him most in his mentor, the legendary JRD Tata, he gave a totally unexpected reply. He did not refer to JRD’s phenomenal grasp of steel production or finance. The trait he most admired in him was humility! This powerful, sophisticated and much-admired captain of industry was noted for his modest demeanour.

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Fr Joe Mannath SDB

Soft Skills are a combination of a person’s social, communication and personality skills, balanced with his/her attitude. Soft skills are interpersonal skills which are used to describe your approach to life, work, and relationships with other people

All of us are born with skills that are needed to live a good life, but some soft skills need our constant practice to lead a peaceful life with others also.

All skills can be practiced and learned if one goes through the life manual of the giants who have lived before us practicing soft skills unknowingly. We can learn soft skills from the giants who walked the earth before us practicing soft skills without knowing the word ‘soft skill.’ Let us take a stock of the life of Jesus, Mary, the saints, prophets and other religious leaders.

The word ‘soft skills’ can be traced back to the US Military between 1968 and 1972. The practice of soft skills existed, of course, before the word was coined.

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Dr K Alex

Yes, they do—in both our personal and professional lives

Over two hundred Catholic students from rural parishes of the Diocese of Tiruchirappalli came together twice in the year 2010-11 in Campion School, Trichy, for a two-week soft skills training program. The late Bishop Anthony Devotta showed keen interest and was present personally along with me for the inaugural and the valedictory functions. The rural Catholic Tamil medium students hopped onto the stage to speak in English, or to deliver a declamatory speech in Tamil. While some took the microphone confidently and stood in front of the screen, others placed on the board the poems they had penned in Tamil and English; one student showed her computer animation skills. Many parents attended. They were pleasantly shocked to see the confident performance of their children. A proud parent said, “Initially, I was reluctant to take up the parish priest’s invitation to send my child to Trichy for fifteen days. But now I feel that the fifteen days given were too short.”

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Brother Paul Raj SG

Reflecting on her experience of life, Sr Biviyana shares what experience has taught her—a more realistic awareness of the beauty and limitations of religious life, her mother’s example, the relative immaturity of young religious, the politics of division, the need of freedom and initiative, God’s nearness and guidance.–Editor

When I joined religious life, I thought that religious are like God and they do not struggle with problems, and must be holy at all times. Gradually, I realized this was not true; my experience taught me otherwise. I am still a religious, as I feel called to follow what my inmost heart feels called to do.

I get attracted by the way some religious live their life serving in the mission, especially the way they interact with people. But deep down, when I reflect, the attraction is mysterious, as I feel God attracts each one of us differently.  I am deeply attracted by the love I experienced from God though my daily living and interacting with people. As I experience my life as a religious, I feel blessed and humbled. I have also felt that I am blest a hundred-fold as the Lord promises. When I give myself totally, I have felt even more blest. I feel this blessing is also poured on my family.

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Sr Biviyana Lepcha IBVM