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Managing life and relationships matters more than maintaining machines

What are soft skills? Why are they crucially important?

There is mounting evidence that soft skills matter much—for personal happiness, success and leadership. Most CEOs of large companies believe that, for success in business, especially in leadership roles, soft skills matter more than hard skills. In fact, according to the world-famous Forbes Magazine, “ninety-four per cent of recruiters believe that top-notch soft skills outweigh experience when it comes to promotion to leadership positions.”

Here is a surprising example.

When Ratan Tata, one of India’s most esteemed and successful business tycoons,  was asked what struck him most in his mentor, the legendary JRD Tata, he gave a totally unexpected reply. He did not refer to JRD’s phenomenal grasp of steel production or finance. The trait he most admired in him was humility! This powerful, sophisticated and much-admired captain of industry was noted for his modest demeanour.

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Fr Joe Mannath SDB

Soft Skills are a combination of a person’s social, communication and personality skills, balanced with his/her attitude. Soft skills are interpersonal skills which are used to describe your approach to life, work, and relationships with other people

All of us are born with skills that are needed to live a good life, but some soft skills need our constant practice to lead a peaceful life with others also.

All skills can be practiced and learned if one goes through the life manual of the giants who have lived before us practicing soft skills unknowingly. We can learn soft skills from the giants who walked the earth before us practicing soft skills without knowing the word ‘soft skill.’ Let us take a stock of the life of Jesus, Mary, the saints, prophets and other religious leaders.

The word ‘soft skills’ can be traced back to the US Military between 1968 and 1972. The practice of soft skills existed, of course, before the word was coined.

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Dr K Alex

Yes, they do—in both our personal and professional lives

Over two hundred Catholic students from rural parishes of the Diocese of Tiruchirappalli came together twice in the year 2010-11 in Campion School, Trichy, for a two-week soft skills training program. The late Bishop Anthony Devotta showed keen interest and was present personally along with me for the inaugural and the valedictory functions. The rural Catholic Tamil medium students hopped onto the stage to speak in English, or to deliver a declamatory speech in Tamil. While some took the microphone confidently and stood in front of the screen, others placed on the board the poems they had penned in Tamil and English; one student showed her computer animation skills. Many parents attended. They were pleasantly shocked to see the confident performance of their children. A proud parent said, “Initially, I was reluctant to take up the parish priest’s invitation to send my child to Trichy for fifteen days. But now I feel that the fifteen days given were too short.”

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Brother Paul Raj SG

Reflecting on her experience of life, Sr Biviyana shares what experience has taught her—a more realistic awareness of the beauty and limitations of religious life, her mother’s example, the relative immaturity of young religious, the politics of division, the need of freedom and initiative, God’s nearness and guidance.–Editor

When I joined religious life, I thought that religious are like God and they do not struggle with problems, and must be holy at all times. Gradually, I realized this was not true; my experience taught me otherwise. I am still a religious, as I feel called to follow what my inmost heart feels called to do.

I get attracted by the way some religious live their life serving in the mission, especially the way they interact with people. But deep down, when I reflect, the attraction is mysterious, as I feel God attracts each one of us differently.  I am deeply attracted by the love I experienced from God though my daily living and interacting with people. As I experience my life as a religious, I feel blessed and humbled. I have also felt that I am blest a hundred-fold as the Lord promises. When I give myself totally, I have felt even more blest. I feel this blessing is also poured on my family.

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Sr Biviyana Lepcha IBVM

FOCUS: Religious life has a focus.  Superiors are guardians and guarantors of that focus. Religious life is a radical following of Jesus Christ.  This is true also of priestly life.  We become religious and priests in order to follow the lifestyle (chaste, poor, obedient) and mission (establishment of the Kingdom) of Jesus Christ.  Therefore, the religious superior is to personally strive to become Christ-like and act as a help for others to become more and more like Christ.  To be Christ-like is not something exotic or unusual.  It is to be a good human being, to be a person of simplicity and integrity, to be person of joy and hope.  The striving to be Christ-like is to be the chief priority of religious and priests.  The superior and the community make their own the following prayer of St Nicholas of Flue, a mystic and ascetic of Switzerland: “My Lord and my God, take from me everything that distances me from you; give me everything that brings me closer to you; detach me from myself to give my all to you.”

CONTACT WITH GOD: We cannot advance in becoming like Christ without continuous contact with God.  Therefore, superiors ensure that the community has sufficient time and opportunity for prayer.  When there are many things to be done, prayer time does not become the first thing to be sacrificed.  St Francis de Sales used to say: “Everyone of us needs half an hour of prayer each day, except when we are busy – then we need an hour.”

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Fr Jose Kuttianimattathil SDB

KEVIN

Here is an intelligent look at the question: “Should we be more concerned to teach our children to pick up the skills to ‘get ahead’ (the hard skills), or to train them in the skills to ‘get along’ (the soft skills)? Where would technical competence lead without a good moral foundation? What do we want more—that our children be good or well-off?—Editor

 “Hard versus soft?”  This is a common question asked by restaurant waiters regarding how you might enjoy eating your eggs.  The fact of the matter is, whether prepared a little harder or a little softer, they will taste pretty much the same and be of the same nutritional value. Personal preference of how it is cooked doesn’t really change the egg or its value. If asked, most would say their preference is somewhere in between overcooked rubbery and undercooked runny. In the same way, I suspect that when it comes to educating our young people, most would agree that we don’t want our children to turn out too soft or too hard.   As we educate our young, whether that be at home or in the classroom, we want our children to be knowledgeable enough to be productive members of society, yet to be formed well enough to become good people who lead meaningful lives marked by love of God and love of neighbor.

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Crystal and Kevin Sullivan

Today’s complex world has for many turned their “normal life” upside down.  These challenging times of pandemic virus, resulting in serious health concerns, isolation, unemployment, food shortage, and uncertainty about the future, bring fear and confusion. In addition, across the world, social justice issues arise in ever more striking ways, causing us to reconsider the very structure of society. Violence against marginalized peoples is no longer hidden but rather displayed daily on our social media and in our streets.  And we are all faced with the question, to what is all of this chaos calling me?  Who am I in the midst of such turmoil and pain?  Who have I been and who do I desire now to be? What is my response today and what will it be tomorrow?  We are all now called to look at the very fiber of ourselves and our society, but where and how to begin?

Life, even in its whole and healthy form, brings change, brings movement, and calls forth from each of us a stance, a way of being. To live our life in an intentional way, then, each of us needs to enter into and live out of discernment. As Parker Palmer in his short but powerful book, Let Your Life Speak, reminds us, “Embracing one’s wholeness makes life more demanding – because once you do that, you must live your whole life.”

Sr Sharon Gray SCN

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Crystal and Kevin bring to the discussion their rich background as educated and committed lay persons. See how practical their understanding is!—Editor

CRYSTAL

One of the most delightful aspects of being a regular contributor to this magazine is the opportunity to reflect on topics that we as Catholics should be familiar with.  Unfortunately, this Catholic is not always as well-read as others. And so it was with a sense of wondering what Fr Joe meant when he said that discernment is one of Pope Francis’ favourite topics that I began to do a little internet research and discovered a beautiful array of the Pope’s reflections on the subject.

Crystal and Kevin Sullivan

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This article looks at the basic meaning of discernment, its key role in life, the obstacles to right choice, and the clear and lovely outcome of a life lived with discernment.—Editor

God made us in His own image and likeness. He endowed us with intelligence and free will. He has also poured out His Spirit over us and into us, so that the inbuilt conscience within us will lead us on along life’s journeys, steadily and surely … if only we listen to it. We could call this the gift of discernment – to differentiate between what is good and what is bad, between what is good and what is better, and to make our choices accordingly. There is no ‘neutral’ stand. We cannot opt to be bystanders or onlookers. Life is too precious for that. We have to take a stand to make this world a better place to live in – one in which every person is my neighbour, my brother, my sister…  Who we are and what we do either makes us and this world, better or worse. We need to single out the path that God seems to be opening up for us, individually and collectively.

SR ESME DA CUNHA FDCC

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Here is my vocational discernment story. I learnt discernment, not through reading or lectures, but through personal struggle and the wisdom and love of some good people God placed on my path. They didn’t discuss discernment; they helped me to discern. Friends who read this account tell me it will help others. So, here it is. I will try to be as honest as possible, and put things simply, as they happened. I hope it helps some of you at least.

Doubts and Troubling Experiences

Right from my high school days with the Salesians, I had the conviction that, to be happy, we must do God’s will. My problem was: How do I find out what God wills for me?

This was always a struggle for me. I did not (and still do not) understand how some people find it very easy to “find and follow their vocation.”

Fr Joe Mannath SDB

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