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Here is the story of a young man’s search for happiness. He had everything that most people can only wish for—educated and well-to-do parents, an IIT degree, tops jobs, freedom, money, friends, travel. But that is not where he found what his heart was looking for.—Editor

“Who doesn’t want to be happy?” These are familiar lines, aren’t they? We all long for happiness. Often, happiness gets translated in terms of money, position, job security, a good spouse, a wonderful family and so on. The norms one puts for one’s happiness depend on individuals, and it varies from person to person. Being a wanderlust person, I have travelled far and wide, both internally and externally. I would like to describe my story as a journey in pursuit of happiness.

My journey began three decades ago. I was privileged to have a wonderful family. I belonged to a family of four—father, mother, a younger sister and me. I was also blessed to savour the love and care of grandparents, both paternal and maternal. My father used to tell me, “Whatever you become and wherever you are, be a good human being; nothing else matters.” My mother often reminded me never to disgrace God. I am proud that I still cling to these golden words. I was a bit shy. My sister, being an outgoing and altruistic person, taught me the importance and depth of interpersonal relationships.

Hailing from a small parish belonging to the Syro-Malankara community, we were regular for Sunday masses. In fact, I longed for it, because those days we had mass only on Sundays because of the lack of priests. My grandparents inculcated a deep Eucharistic devotion in me. I saw them making their confession invariably every Sunday and receiving Holy Communion with utmost devotion. Moreover, they saw to it that I too am on the right track. At the age of eleven, I became an altar boy. No one invited me or trained me, but one day it so happened that there was no one to serve and I took it as a chance and continued to do so.

Three Longings—and a Full Life

Right from my childhood, I have longed for only three things: to serve at the altar (initially as an altar boy), to travel (preferably on a window seat near the driver) and to drive. I had a normal schooling. I won’t dare to say that those were the best days of my life,  for the reason that it failed to create a deep impression in me. Needless to say, I am not a fan of our education system. It keeps feeding pupils and fails to empower them. The list of Nobel laureates from India, the second most populous country in the world, will substantiate my claim. I was just part of the normal routine and ritual called education and I could only brag about passing out with flying colours and thus securing my higher studies.

But I was blessed in another way—having wonderful friends. Though only a few, they were remarkable. We were never a gang nor a mob following the wind of our childhood and adolescent days, but we were into ideas and ideologies (my philosophy of life originated there and not in my philosophy classes). It was also a ritual those days to ask about a child’s ambition. I was bombarded with this question quite often, “Hey, Abin, what you want to become?” Anticipated answers were doctor or engineer. But I told them “Hmm, I want to become a driver, a race driver.”

For any Keralite student, class X is crucial. Since you are Catholic, you can always expect a question: “Do want to join the seminary and become a priest?” I too was bombarded with this question. My heart told me that you will do well as a priest, but the gut told me no. I went with my gut, and I still have no regret over that. Later on, I came to know that everyone in my family and parish expected a “Yes” from me. Thereafter, I tailed the trend and joined for science group and eventually ended up studying engineering.

Abraham Abin Thomas SDB

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Recently I visited one of our communities, where a group of boys who had finished the 12^th standard were undergoing a year of orientation programmes in preparation for entering the novitiate.  The superior of the community told me that, in spite of all the efforts made by him and the other members of the staff, the students were not making much progress intellectually and in their studies.  I was quite surprised to hear that, since the institution was well equipped with all the infrastructure that was needed and had also a rather qualified staff. While talking to the priest in charge of studies in that institution, he told me that the superior was a very good farmer and much interested in farming.  So, irrespective of whether it was class time or study time, he would take the boys to the farm and make them do all kinds of work under the pretext that the boys should be given an all-round formation.  Therefore, the boys did not get much time to study.  They did not also feel that study was important, since study time was sacrificed for work.  The superior did not pay much attention to the opinions expressed by the other staff members.

            In the last two months, we have been dealing with some guidelines for giving corrections.  Last month we talked about the importance of having a win-win approach.  This month, we shall talk about a simple technique for analysing a problem and finding out its root cause, so that steps can be taken to remedy the situation.  It is known as the “Five Whys Technique.”  This is basically a technique for solving problems.  We are applying it here to the context of giving corrections.   Through giving corrections, we are actually trying to “solve” a problem.

Asking More Whys

            The 5 Whys Technique consists in stating a problem and asking why it happened.  We have to make sure that the answer we give is objective and is not based on our biases or prejudices.  The question ‘why’ is repeated four more times.  As we keep asking the question ‘why’ we will arrive at the root cause, the real cause of the problem.  Once the root cause is found, we can take steps to remedy the situation.

Fr Jose Kuttianimattathil SDB

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“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.’ (Jeremiah 29:11)

I believe that this verse was made specifically for my life, starting from the time of my conception.

I was born to a multilingual, intercultural and interreligious family. My mother was a Malayali Catholic and my father was a Bengali Hindu. While growing up, I was exposed to both the religions and had a neutral mind set on who God was. My most favourite person in the world was my father. He was like the centre of my life.

On October 3, 1999, I lost my father to a tragic traffic accident—a head-on collision. With that, things began to go downhill. Being an elder sibling, I was perceived to be the most understanding one who would by default adjust to the situation then. My sister was given a lot of attention and fuss, as she was only three at that time. All felt she would miss her father more. But the actual truth was just the reverse. I, who had experienced my father’s love and affection in person, missed him more. The sudden change in scenario made me more jealous towards my sister. This jealousy slowly took the form of hatred in my heart. I used to hit her and was very impatient with her.

That’s when we entered the gates of Divine Retreat Centre in 2000 and experienced God’s love for the first time in our lives. I benefited especially from the children’s retreat. My spiritual progress in God’s love was a slow and steady healing process, which took around fifteen years. Every year we used to go meticulously for summer retreats to Divine, and each year I would overcome an inner wound and grow more in faith. But I still found myself unworthy to serve him. Being a part of any ministry never occurred to me. I thought that only the holy ones with gifts and visions are called serve the Lord.

In the 2014 power youth conference, Fr Rob Galea from Australia spoke about the ministry of St Peter. He said that Peter was the most ineligible member among disciples to be a leader, but on him stands the foundation of the catholic church. Moved by this awareness, I started my ministry service and joined the Chennai Magnificat in 2015. While being a volunteer, I learnt how to do intercessory prayers and see God’s will in each and everything that happens around me. Being a part of the children’s ministry came as a surprise, as my past history with my baby sister was not very pleasant. Then again, who would understand the pain and inner wounds of a child more than me? My patience and gratitude increased as I praised God with the little ones. As years progressed, I was a part of collecting prayer requests from Chennai Magnificat and sending it to Divine Retreat Centre. While doing so, I used to pray over each and every request and type them in my laptop.

Nibedita Dey

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Here are direct quotes from religious and priests I know well. Each one was speaking out of personal experience.

“I enjoy meeting, hosting and doing what I can to help my past formators. The reason: I have such happy memories of my formation years,” wrote Gerson, whom I taught during his philosophy studies, and who left during regency and is a married professional now.

“Because of what we have seen and lived in this seminary, when we go back to our diocese, we shall invite everyone for our celebrations, and not just those of our caste. Here, there was no distinction or discrimination on the basis of language or caste.” This was from a group of deacons from Andhra who were leaving Poonamallee (Chennai) Seminary after their studies.

“I was a better person under my mother’s care than after joining religious life,” said Geetha (name changed), then a provincial, now general of her order.

“In our seminary, we could tease the staff and have fun. We really lived as one family. In some other seminaries, if students pull the leg of the fathers, they will get into trouble.” (A young priest about his alma mater.)

1. What is a formation house?

An institution where young religious or seminarians are supposed to be helped to become what they will publicly profess later—adults who want to put Jesus Christ at the centre of their lives, serve the needy, help others to get closer to God.

It is not simply a hostel or a boarding.

Whether it be a religious formation house or a diocesan seminary, it is supposed to be staffed by inspiring persons who live out the theories they teach to the formees—God-centredness, simplicity of love, sincere love for all, prayerfulness, unity among themselves without groupism or power games.

Formees, after all, observe the formators minutely.

I was a formator for some twenty-one years. My students would know everything about me—how many shirts I have, with whom I mix, how I teach, how I respond to questions, whether I live a simple or luxurious life, how and when I pray, my ups and downs. Everything.

If, on living with me day and night and observing me minutely, they find me genuine and loving, they open up and trust me. Then we have a warm friendship that lasts for life. It is a joy for me to meet chaps I taught even fifty years ago, when I was doing regency in my early twenties. We enjoy meeting each other; we can share in depth, count on one another, have fun and share in depth—just like many years ago.

If, instead, a so-called formation house is fear-filled or artificial, where power games or divisions dominate, the young will learn to hide, play it safe, and wait to get out and breathe freely.

This is nothing hard to understand. We were all born in a family. If we felt loved and cared for, and saw our parents making sacrifices for us without making a fuss, and taught us by example what a good life means, we pick up so many good things at home. If, instead, a home is ruled by an abusive alcoholic father or a gossipy, partial mother who does not welcome anyone, we too will probably grow up narrow-mined, suspicious and cynical. Families do differ a lot. Marriage by itself does not make anyone good or bad, holy or selfish. We have all seen many types of families.

The same with religious communities, including formation houses. They come in all sizes, shapes and types—from extremely joyful, loving and inspiring to cynical, cruel and abusive. Just as a married couple enter a house and either make it a loving home, or turn it into a place of torment and shame, we can make a formation house a home of love where immature young men or women learn to become responsible, loving adults, or a depressive, fear-filled setting that the young are waiting to get away from.

Fr Joe Mannath SDB

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“Look to him and be radiant, so that your faces shall never be ashamed.” (Psalm 34:5). This was the theme chosen as the motto on my final profession day. It was December 8^th, 2021, the day I like to remember as a memorable one.

I lost my mother two years back. I felt her absence very much. Tears started to roll down. At that moment, I just said, “Jesus, I am feeling very sad. I just surrender to you as I am.” The very next moment, I could experience the presence of my mummy along with Jesus and Mother Mary very close to me. I experienced my sorrow turning into indescribable joy. Throughout that celebration, I was overwhelmed with joy and peace. This was an eye opener for me once again: The one whom I decided to follow never allows me to be ashamed or sorrowful.

Difficult Choice

For me, it was very difficult to choose my vocation—whether to become a religious or choose married life. I saw both of them as good for me. My home is a heaven on earth for me, where I experience the love of God. The way my parents and siblings lived in the family always remain in my heart as an inspiration and motivation.

I really liked religious life as well. I was just waiting to know the will of God for me. So, I completed my 10^th and 12^th, and went to Mangalore to do B. Sc Nursing. There I was acquainted with the Jesus Youth (JY) movement. After completing my studies, I went to Mysore as a JY mission nurse for one year. After that, I went to Mumbai to work as a staff nurse. All these years I was blessed with amazing experiences –loving gifts from a loving God. He was my Father who comforted me in all my troubles, and I was His little tiny creature, who knew only to cling to Him.

Finally, the time came for me to make a decision. I was twenty-four years old. At home marriage proposals were awaiting. Apart from that, many options were open, like M. Sc Nursing and job opportunities from abroad. In the meantime, I got a job in a multispecialty hospital at Calicut.

But my mind was not at peace. How to understand the will of God? Which way of life to choose? I was in confusion. I prayed for forty days. I did not get any answer. I went for a retreat. The struggle within my soul increased day by day. I felt that I was in boiling oil.

God’s OK to My Decision

One night, before going to bed, I said to Jesus, ‘Lord, if I choose something against your will, I prefer to die.’ Then I slept off. That night, I had a dream. ‘Two priestly hands broke the big consecrated Host (which usually priests consume) and dipped in the wine from a chalice and gave to me. I received.’ The next day, when I got up from the sleep, this dream was very fresh in my mind. I became aware that the agony and pain I was going through had vanished and my soul was flooded with peace. I felt very light and thought I might fly.

As the day went on, I realized there was no more confusion in my mind. One choice stood out: to embrace religious life. I got a chance to go for a counselling session. A lady counsellor prayed for me and told me, “You have taken a new decision. God is putting a tick mark on it.” This message was a confirmation for me. “The one who called me is faithful, I am going to be with Him.” This thought was resounding in my heart. It was also as an answer to all the questions that came up.

The whole summary of religious life was presented to me during my novitiate. In the first year, I felt it was an unexpected banquet prepared by God in order to quench the thirst of my soul. I had an unfathomable intimacy with the Lord. I become a drop of blood in the depths of His heart. It was enriched with deep spiritual experiences and moments of union with God.

Sr Bini Thomas SMMI

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Sr. Igora was a great formator, appreciated by everyone.  She was able to win the confidence of even difficult and troublesome formees and help them to change.  When I asked her what approach she followed in dealing with the formees, she said that she used the “Win/Win” approach.  She said that she had learned the “Win/Win” approach from a course she had attended on leadership. Although she could not recall much of what she had learned in that course, she said that the words “Win/Win” remained deeply etched in her mind.  She approached every person and every situation with this attitude “I must win, he/she must win.”

            Exploring the “Win/Win” approach, I came to realize that it is a strategy that is used in business dealings and negotiations to resolve conflicts, which could be adapted to community situations.  In essence, the Win/Win strategy consists in dealing with persons or situations in such a way that everyone benefits in one way or the other; there are no losers, only winners.

“In the long run, if it isn’t a win for both of us, we both lose. That’s why win-win is the only real alternative in interdependent realities.” (Stephen R. Covey)

            In his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey presents a detailed description and analysis of the Win/Win strategy.  According to Covey, the approaches that people take in interacting with others can be brought under six broad categories, namely, Win/Win, Win/Lose, Lose/Win, Lose/Lose, Win, Win/Win or No Deal.

Let us look at each of these attitudes briefly.

1. Win/Win: People with a ‘Win/Win” attitude look for the benefit of all. They have a mindset which says: “I must win. He/she also must win.” They look for agreements or solutions that are mutually beneficial and satisfying. “Win/Win is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody, that one person’s success is not achieved at the expense or exclusion of the success of others” (Covey, p. 207).
2. Win/Lose: In this approach, a person tries to win by making the other lose. The attitude underlying this position is that for me to win, you have to lose. I get my way by ensuring that you don’t get yours. This is the attitude or frame of mind (paradigm) with which many of us have grown up.  In families where we are constantly compared with others, in schools where we are graded, in sports where winning is by defeating the other, we learn this attitude.  This is the attitude of the world of competition.  But the fact is that most of our life is not competition. We do not have to live each day competing with our spouse, our children, our colleagues, our community members. “Who’s winning in your marriage? is a ridiculous question.  If both people aren’t winning, both are losing” (Covey, p. 209).  If all the members of a community are not winning, the entire community stands to lose.

Our life is interdependent, not independent.  Most of the things we want in life can be achieved only through cooperation, not competition.  If you want to become a good singer, for example, you have to cooperate with your music master, with the employees who maintain the place where you practice, with the doctor who sees to your health, etc.  The Win/Lose attitude discourages cooperation and so, is dysfunctional.

Fr  Jose Kuttianimattathil SDB

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“For the Lord your God is gracious and compassionate. He will not turn His face from you, if you return to Him” (2Corinthians 30:9b)

I had a very bitter childhood. The arguments and fights at home between my parents were so intense that all the frustration was poured out on me and my brother. I had many times questioned God saying, “Why was I born in this family?”

On the other hand, my mom was truly an inspiration for me in knowing and loving Jesus. No matter what the state was at home, we always prayed the family rosary, which has miraculously kept me and my family united in the Lord. Yet there were constant fights and peaceless situations at home.

In studies, I wasn’t as smart as my brother and was compared with him often by my family members. This developed a strong ‘good for nothing’ feeling in me. I I felt rejected and unloved, faced many humiliations wherever I went. I couldn’t even do my best in my board exams.

When I got exposed to certain unholy videos during my junior college days, I began to find pleasure and satisfy my emotional needs with them involving myself in self-abuse, which later became a kind of addiction for me. I got into things that were destroying my soul, my behavior at home began to get worse. I was more aggressive, disrespectful and almost hated life itself. With all these negative emotions welling up in me, my heart was searching for Love. Observing my intolerable behavior at home, my mom forced me to attend a retreat at Tabor Ashram in Mumbai. In the first retreat, God touched my conscience and opened my eyes to see the filth I was in.

I also received the gift of forgiveness towards my parents. This happened when the Word of God was broken to me. Reconciling with my parents, I began a new life in Christ, a purposeful one. Yet it was hard for me to give up on the addictions I was into. I was fearful and ashamed to even confess that grave sin at holy confession. Yet God was patient with me. (2 Peter 3:9)

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The touching story of Archie Williams, condemned to life imprisonment without parole for a crime he did not commit, and spent thirty-seven years in jail—and yet did not become bitter or desperate.

“When somebody inflicts evil on you, it’s all about how we let it affect us mentally. If you harbour evil, it can destroy you. That’s a scientific fact, right there. I never harboured evil — even when I knew that the people that put me in prison knew that I was innocent. And I’m talking about from the top to the bottom; they knew. But I never allowed the evil spirit of it to live in my heart. I always say life is how we feel it. My dream is to pursue a career as a boxing coach and singer.” These are the inspiring words of Archie Williams, an innocent African American who was imprisoned for thirty-seven years for a crime he did not commit.

Archie Williams hails from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, United States. On 9 December 1982, a thirty-year-old woman was raped and stabbed in her Baton Rouge home in Louisiana by an unknown black male. On the 4 January 1983, twenty-two-year-old Archie Williams was arrested as the culprit, a crime he knew nothing about. He knew he was innocent, but, as a poor black kid, he didn’t have the financial or political clout to fight the state of Louisiana.

During his trial, it was discovered that fingerprints found at the crime scene were not his own. Williams also had three witnesses that came forward to testify that Williams was at home sleeping when the crime occurred. The victim herself wasn’t able to identify Williams as the culprit. The victim’s neighbour also said the culprit was taller than Williams. But the court succumbed after intense pressure by the police. Even with evidence showing that Williams was innocent, the state of Louisiana convicted Williams of the crime on April 21, 1983. He was sentenced to life imprisonment without a possibility of parole to a prison called “Angola,” known as the most violent and crime-ridden prison in the United States.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, months into years and years into decades—with no help in sight. In prison, Williams watched the TV show “America’s Got Talent” all the time. He would visualize himself being there. He was twenty-two when he was jailed. He never gave up. What sustained him over the three decades of his wrongful imprisonment was his family, first and foremost, and also singing and boxing.  While at Angola, he coached the best boxing team in the prison’s history, winning numerous Louisiana state titles.  He also comes from a family of singers. When he felt knocked down in prison, he would pray and sing to the Lord and that was how he found peace in prison. He led music ministrations in the prison church singing and praising God. There is a documentary of Williams, “A Decade behind Bars: Return to the Farm.”

God Experience in Dark Cells

“I don’t know that it can be explained, but all it’s all about faith in God,” Williams says, when asked how he kept going through the fear and darkness of his time in a notorious prison. “My faith has always been with God, all my life,” he adds. “I have faith that God will guide me through whatever storm. I just trust.” As the Bible says, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze” (Isaiah 43). This was a lived experience for Williams. He never allowed the evil spirit of being angry and bitter at his conviction live in his heart.

Sr Lini Sheeja MSC

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Religious and priestly formation process until very recently gave little attention to the mental and emotional health of their candidates. The focus was on helping one become a good priest or religious with great emphasis on the religious and spiritual dimensions of life. The result was that many religious and priests remained emotionally immature, compromising their inter-personal and ministerial functioning. There is some research evidence to support the above statement.

Relevant Studies

A 1991 study by Lourdes, Patel and Paranjpe that compared the personality traits of 300 clergy (priests, sisters and seminarians) and 300 lay persons found that clergy on the whole were far less mature psychologically than lay persons. Of the eleven positive traits measured, lay persons scored more positively on nine. Of the eight negative traits, clergy faired worse on seven. “More clergy than lay persons were also characterized as having excessive nervousness, bad temper, exhibitionism, excessive conservatism and jealousy, and being easily led away…” (p. 131)

The studies on vocation and formation undertaken by Paul Parathazham and colleagues at Jnana Deepa, Pune, highlight serious gaps and flaws in our current formation practice. In one study (2006a) which investigated how seminarians and religious sisters assessed the effectiveness of their formation, most participants rated their peers in the society outside as better than themselves on all eight criteria of psychological and emotional maturity measured. As many as 36% of them felt that the formation they received, overall, was not worth the time and energy invested in it. Another study (2006b) which sought to elicit the views of formation personnel on issues and challenges in the formation of priests and religious in India concluded:

Human formation, which is the foundation of priestly formation, is arguably the most neglected aspect of formation in India. We seem to be concentrating all our efforts on building a spiritual “superstructure” without the human “base structure,” thus rendering the entire enterprise tenuous and futile. Every other aspect of formation, be it intellectual, spiritual, or pastoral, is institutionalized in seminaries with a specific programme, designated personnel, and prescribed activities or exercises. But for human formation there is no such programme in place. It is largely taken for granted!! (p. 7)

Recent Church documents stress the importance of human formation. In 2008, the Sacred Congregation for Catholic Education promulgated a document entitled, Guidelines for the Use of Psychology in the Admission and Formation of Candidates for the Priesthood. This document highlighted the need for a formation programme that fosters a solid psychological and affective maturity in the candidates to the priesthood.

Many of the views expressed in this document are not really new. More than fifty years ago, Vatican II (in the document, Perfectae Caritatis) had declared that only those should be accepted into religious and priestly life who “have the needed degree of psychological and emotional maturity” (1966, #12) and, more specifically, demonstrate a capacity “to develop a due degree of human maturity, attested to chiefly by a certain emotional stability, by an ability to make considered decisions and by a right manner of passing judgment on events and people” (Optatam Totius, 1966, #11). John Paul II’s Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation Pastores Dabo Vobis (1992) had also stated emphatically that human dimension is the foundation of all formation and listed a series of human virtues and relational abilities needed in the priest.

FR JOSE PARAPPULLY SDB

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Let me start with a couple of quotes from people I admire:

Fr Peter Brocardo SDB, my rector when I was studying in Rome, had a knack of putting things simply and in appealing ways. Talking of obedience, he told us, “The Salesian with the greatest degree of initiative is the most obedient Salesian.”

Is that how you and I understand obedience—as a passion for doing good, an eagerness to reach out and help, a holy restlessness to do as much good as we can? Don’t we often reduce obedience to saying Yes to the superior or following the time-table?

Where on earth did we get pious-sounding phrases like, “The bell is the voice of God”? Did Jesus ever say that? He insisted on deep and genuine love, right to the point of being ready to die for someone else. He never gave us the bell or time-table as the marks of fidelity. Otherwise, a selfish person who likes to have meals on time, and turns up punctually for breakfast, lunch and supper would be the ideal religious!

Another quote—this time from St Benedict, the grand-father of all of us who have chosen organized religious life. Knowing the vow of obedience gave the abbot lots of power, Benedict warned, “If an abbot asks the religious to do what he (superior) wants, rather than what God wants, he will go to hell!”

A strong warning! A religious superior has no right to make the members do whatever he likes and wants. He/she is bound to discern, consult and listen before taking decisions about people and works. Just because XYZ is a religious superior, it does not follow that whatever he/she wants is God’s will for the community.

(Note that the central point of the much talked-about Synodality is to listen, to become a loving, listening, caring family—not an organization that mostly gives orders.)

If people just waited to be told what to do, and did only whatever they were asked to do by religious authorities (Pope, bishops, major superiors), no religious orders would have come into being. Each order is the continuation of the dream and commitment of a man or woman who felt called by God to respond to the needs of his/her time in an new way. This is how Benedict founded his monasteries, or Francis and Dominic started the so-called Mendicant Orders, or Ignatius founded the Jesuit order or Don Bosco started the Salesian Society.

Just waiting to be told what to do is OK for a child. Children do not know what they should eat or wear or learn, or which school to go to, what to do when they fall sick. Adults are in charge.

Religious life is not a parallel to this parent-child relationship. Religious vows can only be made by adults. It cannot be imposed on anyone. If I join religious life without knowing what I am choosing and what I am rejecting, and without inner freedom to make this choice, my profession is not valid.

Fr Joe Mannath SDB

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