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Here is my vocational discernment story. I learnt discernment, not through reading or lectures, but through personal struggle and the wisdom and love of some good people God placed on my path. They didn’t discuss discernment; they helped me to discern. Friends who read this account tell me it will help others. So, here it is. I will try to be as honest as possible, and put things simply, as they happened. I hope it helps some of you at least.

Doubts and Troubling Experiences

Right from my high school days with the Salesians, I had the conviction that, to be happy, we must do God’s will. My problem was: How do I find out what God wills for me?

This was always a struggle for me. I did not (and still do not) understand how some people find it very easy to “find and follow their vocation.”

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Fr Joe Mannath SDB

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One of the heartwarming films I could watch during these dull, dreary days of the lockdown is called A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood. If it is just fiction, I can’t obviously be writing about it here in this column that focuses on real people who can be held up as candles that light up our way.

This film is based on the life and contribution of a real life hero – Fred McFeely Rogers. He was an ordained Presbyterian minister, but Americans see him as the creator of a television series that helped generations of American pre-school children come to grips with things that adults would not easily talk to them about—like divorce or death. He was the creator and host of the highly popular TV series called Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, which ran for—believe it or not!—thirty-three years, from 1968 to 2001!

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M A Joe Antony SJ

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Finding God in Everything

Jesuit Saint John Berchmans’ rector wrote the following about the young saint after his death:

“What we universally admired in him was that in all the virtues he showed himself perfect and that, with the aid of divine grace to which he responded to his utmost, he performed all his actions with all the perfection that can be imagined” (in Au & Cannon, Urgings of the Heart, 1995, p. 67; emphasis added).

The above description of John Berchmans is a reflection of the understanding of holiness in vogue for many centuries. Holiness was all about being perfect! In this understanding, holiness would appear an impossible ideal for us weak, flawed human beings. Thankfully, notions of holiness have changed.

Several developments in science and philosophy in the last hundred years undermined what was known as the mechanistic-dualistic paradigm (see May issue of Magnet) and paved the way for the emergence of a new one – the Holistic paradigm.

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Fr Jose Parappully SDB

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The vocation story and personal reflections of a young teaching Sister.

Why be a Religious?

I believe that vocation to religious life is like a sapling which needs to be planted, watered, pruned and tended. It requires constant attention and nurturing.  Life is a constant flow with unexpected changes and transitions; this is so true in the present situation of Covid-19 pandemic. This critical period has made us all reflect on the way we have lived our lives. I want to do something similar with regard to my religious vocation.

I have had the opportunity to look into my past and see how God has blessed me abundantly and I have grown in deep gratitude and look ahead with more confidence. In the light of that gratitude and confidence, I ask myself: Why am I a religious? To what way of life was I called? How did I know? These questions transported me back to my exciting initial call.

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Sukirtha Kulandai PBVM

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December 10, 1979: Mother Teresa wins the Nobel Prize for Peace!

A few days preceding the award ceremony, Mother Teresa wrote to her sisters: On the evening of 5th December – I will leave for Rome and on the 7th we will have the professions there. On the 8th I will be in Oslo, God willing. As the Nobel Peace Prize Committee have sent two more tickets besides the one for me, and above all as a mark of love and gratitude to all our sisters of the first group for having the courage to join when there was nothing, the joy of having nothing & yet possessing Jesus to the full & because they loved Jesus they loved the poor, so I will be taking Sr M Agnes and Sr M Gertrude with me to Oslo.

But, I’m sorry to disappoint you. If you are expecting another article about Mother Teresa, this is not about her. As much as I love her, admire her and follow the charism she was given, I believe there is somebody who in my opinion is “greater” than Mother Teresa. Mother heard the Voice of God telling her to leave everything and take Him to the dark holes of the poorest of the poor. It was a clear voice, a strong order which she had to heed and obey. Deep inside her soul, Mother “knew” what it was and where it came from. She knew what she had to do. She had no doubts. Shubashini Das–better known inside the Congregation of the Missionaries of Charity as Sr. Agnes—did not hear any voice. No inspiration was hers. Hers was a total trust and blind faith in Mother. We do not know whether Mother ever talked about the Voice and Vision she received from God to young Sr Agnes, yet she believed without seeing. The day Shubashini Das joined Mother on that March 19, 1949—just a few months after Mother Teresa came out of Loreto—at 14, Creek Lane (where she was given a room), there was NOTHING.

[1] Mother Teresa’s letter to the Congregation dated November 21, 1979, unpublished, copyright Mother Teresa Centre.

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Carmel Duca MC

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Extra-ordinary Times

We are living in extra-ordinary times, with high uncertainty about the future. Anxiety and fear are mounting by the day. There is an increasing sense of helplessness, without much sight of the light at the end of the tunnel. Most spheres of life have been disturbed and affected. All plans, calculations, dreams, have gone topsy-turvy. The ongoing lockdowns have resulted in reduced business, job loss, dwindling  pay checks, migration of labour, fear of hunger, fear of death, growing incidence of depression and suicides, … a worrisome situation. No one knows when this pandemic and its collateral effects will end.

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Fr Trevor D’Souza OFM

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Inspired by the enthusiasm of a campus youth group, this young woman discovers the beauty of faith, goes as a missionary to Assam, finds answers to intense loneliness, and discovers God as her one and never-failing love. She has some good suggestions for church personnel.–Editor

 You are a member of Jesus Youth. Why? What does being a JY mean for you?

My call to Jesus Youth Movement was a very special choice from God. During the initial days of my college, I came across a very different and vibrant group of youth who always radiated an extraordinary and exceptional kind of energy which I had noticed in no other group. As the days went by and I became more familiar with my college and its normal life, I came to know about the Jesus Youth team in the college and, surprisingly, this energetic folk were the active members of the JY group. Then I realized the cause of their distinct characteristics.  I too was attracted to that movement.  Eventually I became an active member of the group. Later on, I was elected as a campus coordinator of Jesus Youth.   Since then, JY has been continuously forming and moulding me in such a way to get to know my Lord in a very personal way. JY gave regular formation for being committed to Jesus and a life-style which is focused on personal prayer, sacraments and the Word of God. Being a Jesus Youth always reminds me to radiate the youthfulness of Jesus.

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Malu Thomas

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We felt inspired—just as we think the readers will—to read the words of BISHOP SEBASTIANAPPAN SINGAROYAN, the former bishop of Salem, Tamilnadu, known for his simplicity of life and closeness to the people. He resigned before time, and asked to become an assistant parish priest in a village.—The Editors

Dear Bishop Singaroyan, even before your dramatic decision to resign and become an assistant parish priest, you were known and admired for your simple lifestyle (walking or cycling to visit Anbiyams and families, keeping your personal life very simple, etc.). What led you to love a simple life?

I hail from a simple agricultural family. From childhood I have been engaged in the agricultural works along with my parents and my brothers. Two hours of work in the field in the morning before going to school and two hours of work after returning from the school in the evening was the daily schedule. Being brought up in an ordinary life situation, it has gone deep in my personality to be simple, down to earth, people-friendly and hard-working all the time. I have remained what I am made up of, even in different situations later during my priestly ministry in parishes, higher studies in Rome, pastoral ministry in foreign counties, being a professor of theology in a major seminary and later being the Bishop of Salem Diocese for nineteen years.  It is an inborn simplicity, preserved consciously all along.

Does the life-style of leaders (bishops, major superiors etc.) matter much for our ministry? How?

In case of ministry of a leader in the Church (bishops. major superiors etc.) his / her life-style is most effective—and more eloquent than his/her knowledge, efficiency and talents in leading the church communities. What is seen is more attractive than what is said. We have seen that several people in leadership with exceptional talents and extraordinary intellectual capacities have performed very poorly because of their inappropriate life-style. Hence life-style is an important hallmark of Christian leadership.

You must have been inspired by some particular persons or by some deep personal experience. Who are they and what are they?

In my schooldays I had a mathematics teacher in my school, who inspired me to live for others. Later, as a priest and bishop, Pope John Paul II, whom I had the chance to meet personally several times, was my inspirer. His deep spiritual life, hard work, zeal for evangelization, clarity of thought and great human qualities set my heart on fire to be and do at least something of what he was and what he did.  My three short meetings with him during the preparation of my doctoral thesis in Rome on the ongoing formation of priests, inspired me to dedicate my life for the wellbeing of priests.

What are the main expectations of the people from Church leaders?

People expect church leaders to be living examples of what they are called to preach and do. Every church leader should be able to say like St. Paul: “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). They expect church leaders to demonstrate good human virtues, like honesty, humility, fair play, transparency, availability and commitment to the cause. The deficiency in these human qualities destroys the effectiveness of the great works the church leaders do with excellent wisdom using all modern techniques.

What are we doing well as the church personnel (bishops, major superiors, priests and religious)?

There is so much spiritual, personal and material good that the Church leaders have been doing all along. It cannot all be narrated here. I mention a few in our context. Exemplary faith, committed life and effective ministry of many church leaders are to be appreciated. Our leadership in the field of education, health care, socio-economic development of the downtrodden people, is to be given credit. Pioneering efforts in the people or community-based ministries like insertion communities in the midst of the poor and vulnerable people are relevant. Liturgical and pastoral celebrations strengthen the life of the people.

Where are we failing and need to change?

Our ministry and leadership is still to a great extent institution- and structure-based. When the structure functions to their expectation, the leaders seem to be satisfied, without seriously assessing whether the structure has served its purpose for which it was established by the founders. The Church (diocese or congregation) seems to be working for its own wellbeing, and not for the wellbeing of the people they serve. Most of the church leaders still seem to operate on the model: “I give, you receive.” Collaboration and co-responsibility of the laypeople in the decision-making bodies and mechanisms is still lacking very much in our church leadership.

  What led you to submit your resignation before time and ask to be an assistant parish priest?

The only reason for my submitting my resignation from the office of the Bishop of Salem before the age of seventy-five is my deteriorating health condition. Hectic travel in the first ten years of priestly ministry, sedentary work routine for the last thirty years in the Seminary and as Bishop, have caused considerable damage to my backbone and spinal cord. It forces me to reduce the speed of my work and causes severe disturbances during public liturgical and other functions. I realized that I am not able physically to function fully as required for the good governance of my diocese. In this situation, in order to provide for the effective administration of my diocese by another qualified leader, I decided to propose to the Holy Father my resignation from the episcopal office. I take it as God’s will that my resignation is being accepted by the Holy Father.  Being basically a pastor all along my life, I chose to continue my pastoral ministry in a small way as much as my health permits. I proposed to my Superior to permit me to reside at Kruppur, a sub-station of Suramangalam parish, a village with thirty-two Catholic families and a large non-Christian population, so that I may be able to do some pastoral and missionary work, as much as my health permits, under the guidance of the local parish priest.

Would you like to share a couple of experiences—of prayer or relationships or ministry—that touched you and help you to remain focussed in life?

 Yes. The following experiences touched me deeply, and helped me.

The first experience is the beginning of my vocation to the priesthood. One evening back in 1969, after the completion of the school final year, I was discussing with my mother what to do next: go for higher studies in a college or join the seminary to become a priest. My mother told me: “If you go for college studies, you and your future family will benefit; if you become a priest, great number of unknown people will benefit. You decide who is going to benefit from your life.” This made me to opt to become a priest for the benefit of many people. This scene—ever fresh—of my conversation with my mother remains the criterion for making any choice in my life and in my ministry for the past forty-two years as priest and bishop: for whom my life is going to be beneficial.

A second experience:

In 2013, soon after my travel to Nagpur, I was badly infected with the H1N1 virus (known as swine flu). Six days of intense treatment did not yield the results expected by the doctors. They felt helpless. One night, at about 10.00, I went to the hospital chapel. I spent the whole night (till 5 a.m.) in intense prayer like Moses for his people or David for his child, abandoning my whole life in his hands: “Lord, what do you want to make of my life?” At dawn I just heard the gentle voice in my heart, “You have got to do a lot of work for me yet; go ahead!” The very next day’s tests showed excellent results and the doctor confirmed that I could go home the following day. It enhanced my belief in God, provident Father. This and many similar such instances in my life showed me that God acts when you abandon yourself in his hands.

Here is a third experience.

I always believed in collective decision-making from days of my priesthood. Even though it is not easy and often not most efficient, I have seen it bear very effective fruits. Once we had to plan for a big function in my diocese. Various committees were formed with persons responsible for each sector. Every detail was finalized in the meeting of all the responsible persons. In the course of preparations, however, serious differences of opinion crept in and it almost looked like that the function would not take place. I called for a meeting of the responsible persons and gave a five minutes’ orientation speech and then allowed the group to decide what to do. After initial exchange of arguments against one another, there evolved in the group a strong consensus, very different from our earlier decision, but beautiful. Each of the responsible persons vowed to work unitedly and make the function successful. Everything ended more effectively than initially expected. At the evaluation meeting after the function, all unanimously said that the function would not have been carried out if it was not for a collective decision.

Anything else you like to share with our readers?

A few stray thoughts for the readers:

Today everywhere the priesthood and religious life are painted with a dark shades due to several reasons. Because of this, the people in general have developed a suspicion with regard to these categories, instead of showing reverence towards them. This is affecting very much our vocation promotion for the priesthood and religious life. I would like to tell you: do not be shocked. A big number of priests and religious are still good and doing wonderful ministry. Don’t get discouraged and lose hope. Even this will pass. It is painful that the bad behaviour of a few is throwing dirty mud on all. We need to patiently endure.

Secondly, quality of life and ministry is needed today more than quantity of achievements. Let us be conscious of this in everything that we do. Life witness is the most powerful means of evangelization. Let our life speak what our words would like to convey.

Thirdly, let us come out of our comfort zones (institutions and structures) so that what we want to say is audible and attractive to the people of today.

Fourthly, it is high time to invent and discover alternative ministries to meet the people who are living in a fast-changing world.

Finally, to do all this, being deeply rooted in the Lord and living in a healthy relationship with our neighbours is essential, without which everything we do or say bears no fruit for the kingdom of God.

Bishop Sebastianappan Singaroyan is the retired bishop of Salem Diocese, Tamilnadu. He has a doctorate in theology from Pontifical Lateran University, Rome; M.A. (Tamil Language), M.A. (Public Administration), M. Sc. (Psychology) all from the University of Madras. As a priest, he was professor of theology and director of pastoral ministry at Good Shepherd Major Seminary, Coimbatore. As a bishop, he was the Chairman of the CCBI Commission for Proclamation from 2011 to 2015. He is a priest for 41 years and a bishop for 19 years.

Aug 13: International Left-Handers Day

We focus on just one special day today, to help us understand those who are “different,” and some of the challenges they face. -Editor

This day is observed annually on August 13 to celebrate the uniqueness and differences of left-handers, approximately seven to ten percent of the world’s population, or about 708 million persons! Research indicates that men are more likely to be left-handed than women.

First observed in 1976 by Dean R. Campbell, founder of the Lefthanders International, Inc., the day was “declared” official in 1997, to raise awareness of the advantages and disadvantages these face in a predominantly right-handed world.

It wasn’t always “cool” to be left-handed. Educators and physicians used to advocate “retraining” left-handed children to use their right hands. Some of the methods they used in this “retraining” were cruel, such as tying children’s left hands down so they couldn’t move them. Or training them to be ‘ambidextrous, which literally means having ‘2 right hands’! Forcible conversion of handedness produces what psychologists call a “misplaced sinister,” and these unhappy people have miserable childhoods. Teasing by right-handed children and the sense of being different from others produces bitter humiliations, inhibitions, frustrations and self pity. Left-handed people seem more prone to depression and psychotic disorders, such as schizophrenia; and more likely to suffer from stuttering and dyslexia.

The notion of left-handedness as wrong is embedded in our language. For example, the adjective “sinister” comes from the Latin “sinistra” or “left hand.” In French, gauche means “left” and also, “awkward,” “clumsy” and “socially unrefined.” The word ‘left’ still has negative connotations: bad, dark, weak, incorrect. Right is thought to be good, saved, beautiful and correct.

Being a lefty can be very inconvenient. Most things are designed for right-handed people. Classrooms can be truly exasperating for lefties: those arm-contorting, wrist-wrenching desks, three-ring binders and spiral notebooks built for right-handed writers. It is far easier to pull a pen or pencil instead of pushing it across a sheet of paper. Drawing a straight line may sound simple, but it is more difficult if you’re doing it by pushing the pen instead of pulling it. Calligraphy pens and brushes, computers, even a pair of scissors were specifically designed for right-handed people; so also most tools, electronic gadgets, musical and surgical instruments, fixtures, cars. Toilet paper dispensers are virtually always on the right, as are the handles on most water fountains.

The left-handed face more challenges in learning to write. In many languages, including English, everything is written in left-to-right progression, which favours the right-handed. When writing with the right hand in left-to-right progression, it is easier to see every letter that has just been written, and there is no need to worry about smeared ink because the hand naturally moves away from the drying ink as the writing continues.

Why are people left-handed?  Some blame it on genes, or complications at birth. Children do not understand the difference between left and right until they are about six years old. However, a baby at its seventh month of life begins to favour one or the other hand. Until that age they are bi-manual. The right and left hands are not mirror images of each other. They take on different functions and tasks. In general, the dominant hand is responsible for fine-precision manipulations, and the non-dominant does the holding or steadying. For instance, when people clap their hands, most will cup their non-dominant hand and strike it with their dominant hand.

It’s high time to recognize the left-handed. They seem to be better at 3D perception, thinking and multi-tasking. These include luminaries such as Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, Charlemagne, Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, Raphael, Pablo Picasso, Napoleon Bonaparte, Albert Einstein, Queen Victoria; US Presidents: John F. Kennedy, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama; celebrities like Marilyn Monroe, Bob Dylan, Oprah Winfrey, Julia Roberts and Lady Gaga; musicians like Paul McCartney and Jimi Hendrix. (Michelangelo’s fresco on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel shows Adam receiving life from God through the left hand).

So, if you’re left-handed, grab your left-handed cup and make a toast to all left-handers, everywhere!

There even seems to be an Association for the Protection of the Rights of Left-handers. One of these “rights” is campaigning for the use of the left hand in taking oaths and saluting!

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Sr Esme da Cunha FDCC

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Pay it Forward
Director: Mimi Leder. Cast: Haley Osment, Kevin Spacey, Helen Hunt, Jon Bon Jovi. (2000. 113 minutes)

Adapted from Catherine Ryan Hyde’s novel, it presents the inspiring story of Trevor McKinney, a pre-teen schoolboy who initiates a practical way to change the world. Trevor’s mother Arlene is struggling with alcoholism and has to do double work to provide for the child. The abusive father has practically abandoned the family. A new social studies teacher, Eugene Simonet, changes his life. Simonet, a discerning teacher, opens his class asking the pupils “Think of an idea to change our world and put it into action.” Only Trevor takes up the challenge in earnest. He plans to do three important favours for needy people. Instead of a return favour, he would ask each recipient of the favour to “pay it forward,’ that is, to do similar favours to three others who should in their turn pass it on. Trevor takes a homeless drug addict home for the night, providing a bath and some money to restart his life. This enrages Arlene. The man in return repairs Arlene’s truck.  Trevor’s next task is to bring his mother and Eugene together, hoping to make them happy. But they are cautious about the friendship on account of the wounding experiences of their past, made worse when his alcoholic and abusive father returns home. However, in the course of time they realize that they have to take that risk in order to live meaningfully. Trevor’s third task is to help a timid fellow schoolmate deal with constant bullying from others. He understands that some people are scared to change their situations even when they know they are bad, giving up hope.  The boy grows into the realization that goodness is infectious and can change those who receive it. Trevor’s small “pay it forward” movement creates a revolution of compassion and charity. One of the beneficiaries of the movement is a Los Angeles news reporter who is mystified by a surprise gift of a car from a millionaire who was paying forward a favour he had received from a black man in a hospital. The reporter’s investigation makes him realize the great impact the movement has been creating. He interviews Trevor on his twelfth birthday, bringing public attention and gaining nationwide support. The movie shows how ordinary people can change the selfish world around them by simple acts of kindness and putting others before oneself. Goodness is never wasted, although we may not know the impact of our acts of kindness directly. The final scene is inspiring, sad and moving.

Homeless to Harvard: The Liz Murray Story
Director: Peter Levin. Cast: Thora Birch, Michael Riley, Robert Bockstael, Makyla Smith, Kelly Lynch, Jennifer Pisana, Aron Tager, Ellen Page. (2003.104 minutes)

This movie is the real life story of Elizabeth Murray, the famous American motivational speaker and teacher. Elizabeth (Liz) and Lisa Murray are brought up in New York in a deeply dysfunctional family. Though the couple loved their children, Liz’s father is an irresponsible drug addict who is also attached to TV quiz programmes. Her mother’s drug addiction is aggravated by her schizophrenia. The children do not have even proper food or decent clothes to wear to school. Liz has to earn her livelihood while still a child. She is very intelligent like her sister, but hates school because she finds herself out of place among the better off classmates. Both her parents are infected with AIDS through shared drug needles. When her mother is taken off to a sanatorium with tuberculosis and insanity, Liz is also moved to a government care home. When she is fifteen, she goes to live with her sister and grandmother. But there also the girls have to deal with a sexually abusive grandfather.  Liz runs away with a friend. But she reaches out to her mother when she learns that her mother is dying of AIDS. Her father lives on the streets. The shock of her mother’s death changes her.  Liz refuses to follow the tragic course of her parents’ life and returns to school, where she shows herself to be exceptionally hardworking, completing her four year programme in two years. Good at writing, she earns a scholarship from The New York Times to join the world-famous Harvard University in 2004.  Despite all that she went through, Elizabeth has no bitterness towards her parents; she felt loved by them. But the experiences of her childhood have taught her precious lessons for life.

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Prof Gigy Joseph

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