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In one of the hidden corners of a public garden very close to where I was born in Malta, there is a beautiful bronze statue of a boy pulling behind him two smaller children dressed in rags. The statue, called “Les Gavroches,” (from the French meaning the street-urchins) depicts the fictional character of Gavroche during the French revolution in Victor Hugo’s novel Les Miserables. Gavroche was the eldest son of Monsieur and Madame Thénardier. He had two older sisters and two younger brothers. His parents showed him no affection and sent him to live on the streets of Paris. The other two younger brothers ended up on the street as well and by chance they met Gavroche, who in turn, invited them to live with him without realising that they were his blood brothers. He took care of them as best he could until he was killed during the uprising of the revolution. In our Homes for the “poor” around the world, there is always one or two “Gavroches” who naturally pair up in a symbiotic relationship of mutual help.

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Bro Carmel Duca MC

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CRYSTAL

In 1991, Kevin and I attended a Worldwide Marriage Encounter weekend that changed our lives.  Though we had attended the required Marriage Preparation program in the Archdiocese of Chicago before our wedding, it wasn’t until we attended the married couple retreat weekend five years into our marriage (and when we were already struggling) that we heard for the first time that God had a plan for our marriage that was very different from the world’s plan.

We learned communication techniques that helped rebuild our trust in each other. We learned that love is a decision, not a feeling. We heard that God’s desire is for us to be passionately in love with each other, and that He is right there with us with the graces to make it happen.   As a result, we felt a calling to share this good news with other couples. We realized that the opportunity to live in love throughout the many seasons of marriage was being ignored, for the most part, by the Church at large.  Shortly thereafter, we began facilitating weekend retreats for other married couples, becoming actively involved in promoting the sanctity and health of married relationships.

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Crystal and Kevin Sullivan

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I am Sister Pica, a perpetually professed member of a Religious Institute. I am facing a strong vocational crisis. I cannot find satisfaction in my ministry and my community life. I need some advice before dealing with these issues. Please do help me with some canonical advice.

After sufficient prayer and discernment, if Sr Pica still finds herself in a strong vocational crisis, she can request for exclaustration for at least one year (can. 686 & 687 of CIC; can 489-491 & 548 of CCEO).

“Exclaustration” refers to a religious temporarily living outside of one’s religious house with the permission of the competent authority. It also implies consequent suspension of some obligations and rights. Exclaustration can be voluntary (can. 686 §1 CIC; 489 & 548 CCEO) and imposed (can. 686 §3 CIC; 490 CCEO).

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Sr Navya Thattil OSF

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I remember a relative and two friends who looked after their children with this genetic problem with infinite patience and enormous inner strength. You would have certainly seen a child affected by Down Syndrome. It is said to occur in about 1 in 1,000 babies born in a year.

It is easy to identify children with this disorder. It causes lifelong intellectual disability and other medical abnormalities that include gastro-intestinal disorders and heart problems. They have distinct physical features like a flattened face, small head, short neck, protruding tongue, small ears, hands and feet. Their growth is delayed and they are shorter than other children of their age. Most children with this problem have a mild to moderate cognitive impairment, which affects their linguistic ability and memory.

Earlier it was referred to as ‘Mongolism.’ Later it was named after the British doctor, John Langdon Down, who first described the syndrome in 1866.

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Fr M A Joe Antony SJ

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When I met her some years ago, Sr Magdalene (name changed) was the superior of a home for the aged sisters of her own congregation. The conversation inspired me. Two things stand out in my memory.

“I am happy to look after our seniors,” she told me. “They are the ones who built up our province and all its institutions. Whatever we have today, we owe it to their hard work and committed life. Today, they are old, and some of them need looking after. I feel really happy to do what I can for them.”

Sr Magdalene had worked in the US and in Africa, and then come back to India. She was aware of the situation of elderly people in various countries. She brought this knowledge to help the senior sisters in her care.

She added one other point.

“I learn much from them,” she said. “For instance, we have a senior sister who has had surgery for breast cancer. I do the dressing of the wound. I know she has pain when we change the dressing. I ask her, ‘It hurts, doesn’t it?’ She will reply, smiling, ‘There is some pain, but that is OK.’ She does not complain or show a long face.”

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Fr Joe Mannath SDB

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Most Indian religious and priests seem to have heard of Fr Stan during the last months of his life—after his arrest and during the final months of his life.

As fellow religious and priests, it is not enough we read what everyone else reads—news headlines about his arrest, trials, bail application and denial, admission in a Catholic hospital when it was already too late.

It may be more profitable to ask: What can we learn from his life and witness?

These are the things that come to my mind. He is an example and challenge not just to those with political power, but for all of us who claim to follow the Gospel.

1. Offer to work in a poorer setting: How many of us freely choose to work in a poorer setting, without the comforts we would have otherwise? One of the main reasons for ethnic divisions and rivalries in church circles is the search for power and money. You hold a post with more power and money, and I want to be in that position. Isn’t this one of the open scandals in today’s church settings?
2. Identity with the other—rather than promote one’s own ethnic group: I have heard religious speaking of wanting to work “for our own people”—meaning those belonging to one’s language group or caste or tribe or rite. Divisions based on such markers are often promoted by priests and religious. Isn’t this a terrible betrayal of Jesus and the Gospel? Stan was not speaking for Tamils, nor for whatever caste group he came from. He identified with the needs of the poor tribals of Jharkhand—which, as everyone knows, is not the ethnic group he came from.
3. Whom do we educate? Years ago, Fr Stan was the key speaker at a seminar in Bangalore. I remember him criticizing Catholic educational institutions for catering more to the well-to-do, upper caste students. I raised my hand and pointed out to him that what he said was an unfair generalization, and that there were schools and colleges catering to poorer students. I mentioned the name of a college in Tamilnadu in which 70% of the students were first generation learners. He knew the college and agreed that it was true. He challenged church institutions when they served the rich rather than the poor, and acknowledged the service of some to the poor.
4. Speaking up: We often criticize political parties for not being open to criticism and for ruling through fear. Though at a much lower level, does this not happen in some of our settings too? Many of us do not speak up when we need to. Do we have the courage to speak up for justice in our community members, provincial chapters, diocesan gatherings? Do we challenge dishonesty in financial matters and other areas? Living in fear and not speaking up when we need to is not only a failure of policy. It is a pathetic flaw in our human development.
5. Use academic qualifications to serve, not to climb: Fr Stan was evidently an intelligent and articulate man with a solid academic training. He did not use it to get positions or climb, but to study, analyze and highlight the plight of the poorest. He did not seek a career in the church or in academia, but served those who had no such training.
6. A simple life: There are cynical jokes about some people who talk big on social issues, but lead a comfortable life, cut off from the daily struggles of the poor. Their public pose on social issues is just that—an attention-getting drama, where they grab power and money. Stan was no such humbug. He led a simple life close to the poor. He did not gain any personal advantage from his work for the landless or imprisoned tribals.
7. Readiness to pay a price: This is where most activists and social analysts draw a line. They may grumble in private, but fear taking a stand, which means paying a price. Stan made it clear that he was no passive spectator; that he was ready to pay a price for what he stood for. Further, he did not consider himself special or unique. He realized—and said so in public—that what was happening to him was happening to many others as well.

A courageous, good, simple man, who has become a light for many. May more of us be committed to a simple life, live the truth, speak up for justice (beginning within our own circles), move beyond ethnic narrowness, clarify whom we are working for, and promote the welfare of the weakest rather than seek a career, or be blinded by love of power and money.

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Fr Joe Mannath SDB

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Our interviews with nurses continue. This month, we meet

Miss Ancy Babu, 25 years,

who works as a Quality Nurse in Holy Family Hospital, Okhla, New Delhi.

She has been a nurse for three and a half years.

Here are Ancy’s simple and direct answers to our questions.

1. Why did you decide to become a nurse? What attracted you to this profession?

I wanted to do something in my career that is challenging, interesting and makes a difference in peoples’ lives daily. In the nursing profession,  you deal with many aspects of patients and enjoy the variety in routine.

2. Have you been inspired by the example of any nurse or doctor or other medical professional?

I am inspired by all the nurses and doctors working and putting their efforts to save lives.

3. Tell us one or two of your most beautiful and satisfying experiences as a nurse. Its satisfying to know that they feel more at ease after they see the care we provide. At the end of the day, you feel amazing satisfaction and pride.
4. Share with us also one or two of your most difficult experiences.

In the initial phase it is difficult to cope with new situations and learning procedures as you are dealing human life.

5. Are there times when you feel scared and worried? What makes your frightened and worried?

Ye, there are times when I felt scared. One was: The first time I saw death in the hospital.

6. Share with us some of the difficult or painful experiences patients go through?

Losing the one you loved is the most painful experience. Further, many face also a financial crisis

7. How do you feel when you see them suffer? What do you do for them then?

I love counseling them and being part of their sorrow.

8. At other times, your heart must have been touched to see the way some people suffer sickness and pain without complaining, or even face death peacefully. Any such experience comes to your mind? If so, tell us in a few words.

My own sister is a heart patient. She has congenital heart disease. More than her, my mother is the one who is suffering a lot, seeing her in pain. Every time, this comes to my mind.

9. There must many beautiful moments when the patients and their families tell you of their gratitude, or even cry as they thank you. Can you share one or two such experiences?

Not once or twice, but many experiences where elder ones blessed me. So, too, I got many marriage proposals.

10. What do people in general and our Indian society need to understand about the work and difficulties of nurses? How can they show their appreciation better?

Nurses deserve more respect. There should be greater empowerment. Make the society know that it is a very difficult area of work.

11. What attracts Indian nurses to work abroad, besides the higher salary?

Quality of life, the respect they get, the autonomy to take decisions.

12. There are patients and families who say beautiful things about the service of the nurses, especially during these days of Covid. Can you tell us one or two nice things which you have heard them say about nurses?

Example: “These are Angels looking after us like their parents.”

13. Many of you pray for your patients, just as you pray for yourself and your families. Have you had any touching experience of praying for patients and seeing the results?

Same in the case of my sister. Only because of prayers and a miracle she is alive. Now she is leading a beautiful family life.

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The Perfect Stranger

Director: Jefferson Moore * Cast: Pamela Brumley, Jefferson Moore, Tom Luce. 2005.

Nikki Cominsky works for a Chicago law firm. She and her husband Matt are on the point of separation. Neither of them is seriously religious. In an attempt to revive their mutual intimacy, Nikki fixes a romantic dining out in an exotic restaurant with her husband. She is disappointed when Matt announces that he has a baseball game to attend. When the irate Nikki reaches her office, a surprise awaits her. She is intrigued by mysterious a dinner invitation on her table. She is invited to the same restaurant by someone who calls himself Jesus Christ. She thinks that this is possibly a proselytizing attempt by some local church activists. On second thoughts it seems to Nikki that her husband is trying to make amends by offering a surprise dinner in disguise and decides to go. Awaiting her is a total stranger who introduces himself as Jesus Christ. When she tries to leave, the man’s persuasive manner holds her back. Nikki enjoys the dinner as his guest and is soon drawn into a life changing conversation.  They engage in a series of questions and answers session in which the man clarifies Nikki’s doubts about the truth of Christian faith, and her own personal life. Gradually her acquired skepticism is stripped away, when Jesus explains the truths of Christianity and the issues that the modern world raises.   Nikki is overwhelmed to know that the man knows her own life story closely.  She confesses to the inner wounds relating to the untimely loss of her beloved father at 13. Je sus explains why. Nikki is told of God’s love which is so deeply personal. Jesus explains the condition of her life and about afterlife, the meaning of love expressed in crucifixion. He tells her that he had been sent to answer the troubling questions of her life. At the end Nikki notices the nail scars of the crucifixion on the man’s wrists, confirming his identity. As they part, when asked for his address, Jesus writes a note on the back of Nikki’s visiting card. It is  a quote from the Bible: Revelation 3:20 which holds the key to the central idea of the movie. “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.”

Edith Stein: Stations of an Exceptional Life.

Director: Dieter Scholetterbeck * Cast: Heidemarie Rohweder, Maria Mittler, Grethe Wurm, Rotraut Rieger, Christian Schneller. 1982. 90 minutes

This powerful German/English docudrama narrates the life story of St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, (Edith Stein) whose journey from the life of an atheistic Jewish girl to Catholic martyrdom and sainthood captures our imagination. The narrative unfolds through Edith’s own words, commentaries on her life and thought by those who originally knew her in various ways, besides footages from the two world wars that marked the crucial points of her life.  Edith Stein was one of the most remarkable philosophers and educators of the 20th century Europe. Born in 1891 in a middle class orthodox Jewish Family in Breslau, Poland, she and her siblings were brought up by a widowed mother. In her teens Edith was an independent minded atheist and a passionate advocate of women’s rights in Germany. She studied psychology in Breslau University but soon proceeded to Gottingen enamored of its intellectual life. There she engaged in heated discussions on philosophy and religious doctrines and excelled as a scholar. She studied under the great phenomenologist Edmund Husserl, who took her as his assistant.  Edith became a Catholic, moved by the writings of Teresa of Avila. When the World War I broke out, she served as a nurse with the Red Cross and was decorated for bravery. After the war she joined the Carmelite order. Giving up her university career in 1933, she became a Discalced Carmelite and lived in a monastery in the Netherlands. In 1942, the Nazis overran the Netherlands. Sister Theresa was arrested there and sent to the Auschwitz concentration camp along with her sister Rosa where they were gassed to death. As they are taken away, Edith comforts her sister saying “Rosa, we are going for our people.”  In 1998 Theresa Benedicta of the Cross was canonized saint and martyr.

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Prof Gigy Joseph

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VERY RELEVANT AND TIMELY

The May Edition of Magnet was timely and as relevant as it could get! I have always wondered what “the call” meant. I grew up near a church and most of my weekends were spent helping the sisters at my parish. And I was always told about “the call” and how only a chosen few received it. Consequently, I grew up with a very narrow view of spiritual life which included the ones who received the call (the religious) and the others—like me! It was only recently that I realized how I too have the call—the one I share my spiritual life with another person, called to share the love of Christ in my aggressively secular surroundings.

The inclusion of Pope Francis’ letter on St. Joseph in this edition, hence, was very meaningful to me.  I have often wondered what the future of our religious is going to look like. And this edition of Magnet asked all the questions that were brewing in my mind—the  decline of religious vocations, the future, the jaded next generation, the ways to re-engage with the youth and inspire more “calls.” The seven vocation stories were immensely powerful—not only were they inspiring confidence in our future, they also reminded me of the reason why we are Christians. As a married Catholic, I find the inclusion of stories from families very inspiring. I would like to share my appreciation for Mr Olympio D’Mello’s story of living his vocations truthfully. Such stories seldom get heard in our communities and it was very thought-provoking and uplifting. I wish team Magnet all the success and look forward to reading more wonderful stories!

Anjana George, New Jersey, USA

THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED

Having known Fr. Joe Mannath for a number of years, I am not surprised that Magnet is such a great success. Joe has a passion for whatever he does. Anything he undertakes is par excellent; that is due to his hard work, meticulous planning, spending hours and hours going through articles until it has his level of perfection, his ability to get very good and talented writers and above all his objectivity. Joe is also ready to welcome constructive criticism.

I have been reading Magnet from the beginning and I look forward to each issue.  It contains a wide range of topics which are very interesting, relevant and informative. I like the fun page too and the book and movie reviews.

I like what Henri Nouwen has to say, “Writing is like giving away the few loaves and fishes one has, trusting that they will multiply in the giving. Once we dare to ‘give away’ on paper the few thoughts that come to us, we start discovering how much is hidden underneath these thoughts and gradually come in touch with our own riches.”

I hope that the high standard of Magnet will continue in the years to come. Magnet is the best thing that has happened during my lifetime! Please accept my thanks and congratulations on its success.

Sr Margaret Power, Presentation Convent, Vepery, Chennai

WARM, GENTLE TONE

A big congrats to Fr Joe and his team, Magnet is a magazine that is sure to change a lot of people’s lives. The articles are written in a warm, gentle tone with straight forward prose that anyone can understand. A stimulating exploration of contemporary issues through the deep, broad, and inclusive lens of religious life. I gain a lot from reading it. Magnet is definitely a great blessing.

Sathish Paul SDB, Ratisbonne Monastery, Jerusalem, Israel

STIMJULATING READ

Thank you so much for MAGNET As always, it made for a stimulating read. Reaching out to interested people through the editorial to take over from you was very nice and hopefully there will be many applicants whom you will see fit to take your stupendous efforts forward. Hope you are keeping well and safe.

Captain Arun M., Bangalore 560001

LIKE A NOURISHING TABLET

When “Magnet” is not around for reading, I miss it a lot. The magazine is like a condensed tablet that will sustain one for days. Its contextualized articles, well written in simple and logical way, are a delight to read. In the June issue, reading about the struggles many had to go through during the Covid 19 Pandemic, and equally matching generous service of the medical persons and others—this was heart-rending. I like the inspirational quotes found  on page 2.They are very catchy and profound. I found this monthly column very useful—Tips for Superiors. Whether formally named superior or not, one has to play that role  on and off. I wish the magazine Team all the best and hope many will read and benefit from it.

Sr. Marian Mathew PBVM, Kanjoor 683575, KERALA

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“Do not regret growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.”

“Years may wrinkle the skin; giving up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.”

“The best part of the art of living is knowing how to age gracefully.” (Eric Hoffer)

“Aging is not ‘lost youth,’ but a new stage of opportunity and strength.” (Betty Friedan)

“It is important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle.”

“Forget about aging gracefully; focus instead on aging gratefully.”

“Growing older is automatic; growing up requires wise choices.”

“None are so old as those who have outlives enthusiasm.” (Henry David Thoreau)

“To care for those who once cared for us is one of life’s highest honours.” (Tia Walker)

“The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.” (Andy Roony)

“Care-givers go through more than they tell you. They give up a lot. They can get sick and worn out. You will never know until you walk the same road.”

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