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21st September: International Peace Day

International Peace Day

International Peace Day is celebrated the world over on 21st September.  It was established in 1981 by the UN through a unanimous resolution by the observation of non-violence and cease fire.  The aim of the celebration is to motivate countries to adopt the ideals of peace and make conscious efforts to promote peace in the worldThe day invites the whole world to commit to establishment of a culture of peace above all differences.

Today, more than ever, we are experiencing division and violence within and without. Hatred and violence in all forms are visible in personal and social media. The factors and agents of such evil seem to be gaining strength. Therefore, what the world needs is peace at all levels – personal, family, society, national and international. We need strong leaders, individuals, common people, young and old, as builders of peace.

Social and political actions in promotion of freedom, justice, equality, fraternity, human dignity, gender equality contribute greatly to the building of peace. Thus, there are many roads to peace. Here I would like to present some of these.

  1. The road of freedom for all: Abraham Lincoln took a very rough road of freedom to establish peace and harmony in the United States in the midst of civil war during his presidency. When he was elected president of America, he used all his resources—mind and heart, his intelligence, courage and determination—to grant equality of right and opportunity to the African Americans by ensuring ratification of the thirteenth amendment to the American Constitution. Hereby slavery was abolished in America.
  2. The road of non-violence: The father of our nation, Mahatma Gandhi, fought for the freedom of India by non-violent protests against British rule. He took up the weapon of ahimsa against the military and administrative might of the English. Gandhiji has inspired millions of people to walk the road of non-violence. Prominent among them are Martin Luther King Junior, Nelson Mandela and Aung San Suu Kyi.
  3. The road of reconciliation: Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for twenty-eight years as a political criminal for his fight against apartheid in South Africa. For eighteen years, he was a stone cutter in the quarries of Robben Island. He was released in 1990 and was elected as the first Black president of South Africa. He had every reason to be angry and revengeful. But on assuming the office of the president, he chose the road of reconciliation. He used his persuasive skill, political intelligence and will to reconcile the races in South Africa.
  4. The road of gender equality: Discrimination and violence against women and children are some of the biggest roadblocks towards peace. Hence, anyone who works against these evils is a champion of peace. This is true about Malala Yousufzai, Nobel laureate for Peace at the age of seventeen, the youngest to receive the award. Even as a teenager she became the voice of women in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa Province of Pakistan. For her campaign for women’s right to education, she was shot at. Through all these battles she came to be recognized internationally as the icon of women empowerment and dignity.
  5. The Road of charity and service: Mother Teresa said “… the fruit of service is peace.”  She offered her life in the selfless service of the poorest of the poor and the distressed. She awoke the conscience of the world to the most needy and vulnerable. Her contribution to the world peace through her charitable services was acclaimed by the world community. Subsequently, Mother Teresa was honoured with the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979.
  6. The road of silence, interiority and prayer: Peace begins in the heart of human beings. Great angels of peace are men and women of peace within—a fruit of profound interior life. A 12th century Italian saint, Francis of Assisi, was truly a man of peace. He was able to live in harmony with nature. The birds and beasts, the trees and flowers, the Sun and the Moon were his brothers and sisters. Such a degree of harmony is possible only for a person who has renounced all forms of division within.

The call of Peace Day for all is to be bearers of peace in all situations and places. Every effort, big or small is needed to bring in the reign of peace. Let the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi be ours in thought and deed: “Make me a channel of your peace; where there is hatred, let me bring your love; where there is injury pardon….”


Fr Shilanand Kerketta SDB

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Book Review

Book Review: Peter Principle | Courage to be Disliked

Peter Principle | Courage to be Disliked

The Peter Principle: Why Things Always Go Wrong

By Laurence J. Peter, Raymond Hull

This book, widely popular around the world in the 1960s, has run into several editions. It deals with the principles of hierarchy (hierarchology) providing engaging reading with thought and humour that would help individuals who aspire to effective leadership or service anywhere.

Why do things go wrong? Dr. Peter notices that one reason so many employees are incompetent is that the skills required to get a job often have nothing to do with what is required to do the job itself. The skills required to run a great political campaign have little to do with the skills required to govern. Laurence J Peter gave his name to the principle: “In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.” The corollary is that: “In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties.”

He demonstrates this with examples from his own experience.  As an educator, he observed how a competent teacher who because of her excellence as teacher got promoted to principalship proved to be a failure in the new office. Why did the brilliant teacher fail? Her new job required her to manage teachers. She applied the same principles with which she dealt with students in the classroom, earning the colleagues’ dislike.  A brilliant mechanic when promoted to foreman lacked the skills necessary for the new office and turned out to be an utter failure, unpopular and unhappy. These two capable people have reached the thresholds of their ‘incompetence”. There are three types of employees—a majority who are “moderately competent’ and a minority divided into competent and incompetent. There are automatic promotions in hierarchies where incompetent ones get promoted (e.g., government organizations). Competence can be mistaken for complete loyalty to rule and the conventions of the organization. For example, a nurse who wakes up a sleeping patient at the exact specified time to deliver sleeping pills! The hyper competent people who achieve more than what is expected may earn the dislike of everyone for inappropriate behaviour or disregard for rules, and thus fail. The book in the end has solutions to offer to those who wish to lead fulfilling careers and jobs.

The Courage to be Disliked

By Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi

Written in the form of four dialogues between a young man and his teacher, the book uses the psychological ideas of the 19th century Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler to demonstrate that human happiness is in the hands of each individual and is independent of one’s past experiences, however bad they are. It is not our past that determines our future. Those who are tied to past traumas can never earn happiness. If we focus on all the wrong things that we find in ourselves, we will find innumerable reasons for self-hatred. Most of what we think of as competition is just imaginary and hurts our happiness. Adler refuted the ideas of Sigmund Freud that insisted on childhood trauma as determining our adult behaviour. While he agrees that our attitudes are influenced by early experiences, he insists on the fact that we can change ourselves at any given point in time. Old mental blocks can be overcome .Yet another insight it gives is that our self hatred is shutting out others and is not actually warranted. People cultivate their sense of inadequacy or inferiority. Awareness of one’s own flaws is of two kinds: objective and subjective. The objective ones – such as wealth or appearance – can be measured, whereas the subjective ones are fabricated by the individual to make himself feel inferior and unhappy thereby.  The young man in the book approached him with imagined reasons to isolate himself from others and avoid getting hurt – a form of escapism. The book teaches us that unhappiness is something that is chosen by the person. When we feel unhappy we wish our circumstances to change, thereby denying our choice to be happy .Thus we use circumstances to serve as justification for our chosen unhappiness. Competition makes us unhappy. This is a mindset created by society around us. We should learn to think of others as comrades, not competitors.  It does not matter if one is trying to walk in front of others or walk behind. Our life is not about competition. It is about progressing from our current state to a better one. Courage is the secret of happiness.


Prof Gigy Joseph

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Inspiration

INSPIRATION – SEPT 22

inspiration

“Be the reason someone smiles. Be the reason someone feels loved and believes in the goodness in people.”

“The main thing in life is not to be afraid of being human.”

“Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human.”

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.” ― Dalai Lama

“The next evolutionary step for humankind is to move from human to kind.” ― Anonymous

“There surely is in human nature an inherent propensity to extract all the good out of all the evil.”
― Benjamin Haydon

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”
― Mother Teresa

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
― Ralph Waldo Emerson


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Letters

LETTERS – Sept 22

LETTERS

A True Christian

Magnet is a splendid monthly which I look forward to reading regularly. The article “I was in prison” by Fr MA Joe Antony S J, was worth reading. I was inspired by Mr. Bruce Kent. Indeed he was a peace hero. Now at this present context he motivates me to be a true Christian by being a peace maker and not be a trouble-maker. A heart filled with gratitude to the Magnet team for publishing this thought-provoking article.

Akshay Kumar, Jesuit Novice, Mt St Joseph, Bangalore

A Magnet!

Thanks a lot. Your magazine is a Magnet!  I like the lay out and the articles are insightful and  inspiring. I’ve tried to promote by asking others to subscribe and telling my students to read for their growth…

Fr. Anthony (address not in email)

The Five Whys

This is in reference to “The Five Whys Technique.” “Why?” is an enlightening question to all those who do not look within themselves in times of failure. I sincerely thank Fr Jose Kuttianimattathi SDB for revealing the secrets of problem solving through the question “why.” I’d also like to thank the Editor and team for publishing such informative articles in your magazine.

S.Vijay SJ, Hyderabad

About the Whole Issue

‘Let the children come to me for theirs is the kingdom of God ‘. In other words, this could mean that we learn from the children  what  the kingdom/real happiness is and it would belong to us.

Thanks to MAGNET for inviting us to be childlike in order to be really free and happy in life. A child attracts or disturbs even the demon in a positive way and creates in us a desire to be creative and makes great people to become their disciples in order to make them still greater.

 Children stories (COVER STORY1-3) are much more educative and inspiring. They teach us what sharing, generosity  and sacrifice means (little elder sister) and much more what prayer(Coles) is to them because God speaks to them (James) and how to put Our Father in practice (Domnic) and that they, as children, have deeper experience of God. Adults should not act as adults in the presence of their children but become childlike (‘Unless you become like….) to experience the warmth and freshness of our own being.

Fr. A.E.Ekka unravels the secrets of the growth of the young through identifying the talents, challenging them to actions and guiding and helping them (esp. the poor)to choose the right way of living through proper education and  profession. Parents and teachers have a special and responsible role to play.

Fr .Scaria invites the children of the second stage of childhood (seniors) to enjoy life like the children looking at the wonders and beauty around us instead of looking back regretfully and sadly. They are called to enjoy the present like the children and be creative artists. Let us realize the BEAUTY lying deep within us..

Thanks to Fr. Jose K who has proposed the magic of 5 WHYs, which is a counselling process to find out the root cause of an issue or problem or conflict or concern or failure etc. There is a root cause and solution to every problem.

I hope and pray that on 21 August , our Senior Citizens were remembered fondly by their younger generation. It was also  the birthday of St. Francis de Sales (21.8.1557), who has said that holiness can be attained by any and all at all stages and states of life.

Thanks for Fun and more: The son is 15  and dad is  51 =66!! Right!!.

 Well, my share of apple is in the basket.

 10 differences are identified but I am still looking for the one who hid the words or I must change my specs!

Thanks and all the best, Joe!

May MAGNET continue to be Magnetic, Magical and Magnanimous.

Fr Vincent Swami MSFS, Pune

Inspired by Bruce Kent

This is with reference to “I was in prison….” on pages 10 and 11 of the August issue. Amidst the ongoing catastrophic war in the world there is dire need of the promotion of peace across the world. I am very much inspired by the commendable work for peace in the world by Bruce Kent. Kent lived as a true Christian. His love for humanity was so immense that he could even sacrifice his priesthood and become a full-time man for others. Total service for humanity is more Christian than holding a priesthood like Pharisees, the hypocrites. I am very grateful to Fr Joe Antony for writing about Bruce Kent, a very good example for true Christian life because his life story can indeed inspire thousands of people across the globe to work to impede the wars which are at the cost of innocent people.

Pilat Narzari SJ, Udalguri, Assam

The article by Fr Joe Antony ‘I was in Prison’ Is very interesting and motivating to live a committed life for Christ. We need to emulate the values from the life of Mr Bruce Bent which is the embodiment of Christ. This article has rekindled me to love Jesus passionately. It has been a source of inspiration to promote peace in the world. I am indebted to Fr Joe Antony and the editorial team for this article.

Frewin D’Souza SJ

Thumba Trivandrum


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Editorial

EDITORIAL: BECOME A GOOD HUMAN BEING

BECOME A GOOD HUMAN BEING

Even children—and persons of other faiths—know who Jesus was, what He taught and how he related. The essentials of His teaching do not require any great learning to understand. He spoke simple, lived a life of love and compassion, and used power only to heal. People like Don Bosco or Mother Teresa, noted for their Christlike love and goodness, were not prompted by higher degrees in theology!

We all know this.

When we decide to become religious or priests, or decide—after a good retreat, for instance—to lead a life closer to God, our model is Jesus. We join religious orders, not to follow Saint Francis or Ignatius or Teresa or Don Bosco, but to become more Christlike.

This is the common goal and vision that unites all believers in Christ.

Basic to this is to become a good human being—honest, loving, just, compassionate, standing up for truth, and ready to live and (in extreme cases) die for what we are committed to.

And yet, the Church itself finds that the weak part of religious and priestly and religious formation is human formation. It is easier for a novice mistress or preacher to speak about the life of the founder/foundress, than to help a young candidate become emotionally mature, loving and compassionate.

This month’s cover stories are about this. They look at our ideals, achievements and failures as human beings, and at good people we can learn from. After all, we learn best from people and life experiences, rather than from magazines, lectures and sermons.

*                                  *                                         *

When Father Dominic Veliath SDB, a close friend of mine and a famous professor of theology, died last year, numerous people paid him glowing tributes. More than his intellectual brilliance, which was undeniable, what most people spoke about was his goodness. Without exception, they all referred to him as an extremely kind and compassionate man. Having known Fr Dominic well for decades, I fully agree with their assessment.

What people need most from us, and what people expect most, is not our cleverness or our qualifications, but our humanity. This is what makes our message credible, and our teaching appealing.

In the cover stories, you will meet wonderfully inspiring human beings. You will also come across the pain and disappointment of good people who felt they became worse after joining religious life. No structure guarantees maturity or holiness. Rules and timetable do not assure goodness of heart. For that, younger people need to meet, and live with, truly good human beings.

*                                  *                                         *

Our regular columns continue to be relevant, competent and gripping.

Psychology deals with the issue of man-women friendships among celibates. Life on the Margins speaks of a much-debated contemporary topic: Minimalism. Tips for Superiors presents the centrality of the Eucharist in our life. Candles in the Dark presents, as always, an inspiring human being we can all learn from. Finance presents a current issue in clear and systematic ways. Canon Law addresses a legal point in non-technical vocabulary. Social Issues looks at the plight of working children. Special Days looks at the International Day of Peace. The book and movie reviews present titles many readers many not know, but are worth reading and watching.  Testimony of a young person who moved from  blunders to desperation to deep peace will move and help all of us. The vocation story is genuine and touching. The interview presents someone whom those she worked for called another Mother Teresa

Good people to learn from.

May your life and mine increase the goodness in the world, and make it more human.


Fr Joe Mannath SDB

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Cover Story

LEARNING FROM CHILDREN

15

Etienne was a young European volunteer who worked in a camp for refugees in Kenya. He considered himself as agnostic or atheistic. He wasn’t interested in church or prayer. Being generous and keen on helping poor people, he went to Kenya to work in a large camp for refugees from other African countries.

His work included distributing food to the refugees. One day, after giving food to a large number of adults and children, he realized that very little food was left. Hungry people still waited in a line for food. He started giving out less and less, so that everyone would get at least a little. Finally, all he had was just one banana. Just then, a little girl appeared with her younger brother, asking for food. Etienne felt helpless. How to feed two hungry kids with just one banana? The girl was holding her little brother by the hand. She stretched her other hand towards Etienne.

Etienne did the only thing he could do. He gave the banana to the girl.

What she did then shook him deeply and changed him. She pealed the banana and fed her younger brother with that. When the tiny kid had finished eating the banana, she licked the inside of the banana skin, smiled, and left.

Etienne was shaken. “That day, I started believing in God,” he later said. He had never seen such generosity and self-sacrifice. A hungry little girl giving the banana to her tiny brother and going away happy, though evidently hungry.

Children are not simply blank sheets of paper on which adults write whatever they decide. No. Children have a mind and heart of their own. They are neither blank nor helpless. They do depend on adults for whole host of things, of course. But there is much we all can learn from them.

Ruby: Calm, Dignified, Heroic

Look at the following case quoted by Professor Robert Coles of Harvard University, who did the most quoted studies on children, including a whole book on the spirituality of children.

During the days of the racial integration of schools in the US, there was violent opposition from some Whites against the admission of Black (African-American) children in schools where only White children were admitted earlier. The US government made a law—influenced the by movement for racial justice led by Martin Luther King, Jr.—by which schools had to admit children of all races. Some White parents (those of European ancestry) protested vehemently and at times violently. Police had to accompany the African-American children to school for their protection. White parents stood on both sides of the road and shouted insults and threats at the Black children. See how Ruby, one of these kids, reacted. This is what her (white) teacher wrote about Ruby:

“I watch her walking with those federal marshals, and you can’t help but hear what the people say to her. They’re ready to kill her. They call her the worst names imaginable. I never wanted ‘integration,’ but I couldn’t say those things to any child, no matter what her race. She smiles at them—and they’re saying they are going to kill her. There must be 40 or 50 grown men and women out on those streets every morning and every afternoon, sometimes more. One of the marshals said to me the other day: ‘That girl, she’s got guts; she’s got more courage than I’ve ever seen anyone have.’ And he told me he’d been in the war; he was in the army that landed in Normandy in 1944. He told me Ruby didn’t even seem afraid—and she sure remembered how scared they all were sailing to France. I agree with him; she doesn’t seem afraid. There was a time, at the beginning, that I thought she wasn’t too bright, you know, and so that was why she could be so brave on the street. But she’s a bright child, and she learns well. She knows what’s happening, and she knows that they could kill her. They look as mean as can be. But she keeps coming here, and she told me the other day that she feels sorry for all of them, and she’s praying for them. Can you imagine that!”

Coles not only wrote about children; he listened to children. In this case, he went to meet Ruby, and wanted to find out how she found such strength.  When asked by Coles whether she did not feel frightened, this is what Ruby told him, “I do what my granny says; I keep praying,” Coles did not reduce this to a mechanism of defense, as his training would tempt him to do. He is honest enough to make this unusual confession: “My kind, trained in psychoanalytic psychiatry, has a far easier time probing psycho-pathology than appreciating the sources of strength and vitality and resiliency in the ordinary lives of people, never mind in the lives of our various heroes.”

Heroic children were by no means the only kind Coles studies. He went into classrooms, asked children about God, religion, morality and other central issues and listened to the moving conversations among children and with him. His famous book, The Spiritual Life of Children, carries the text of many such conversations, as well as the drawings done by children to represent religious themes.


Fr Joe Mannath SDB

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Cover Story

Accompanying the Young

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Practical reflections and suggestions of an experienced educator on the occasion of the International Youth Day (August 12).

“In a changing world, young people find themselves in a situation of fluidity and uncertainly, vulnerability and social unease, devoid of personal identity and experiencing exclusion. In such situations, every young person needs a person of reference—a significant other—in their lives. They look for one who can be close to them, credible, consistent and honest and able to enable, express empathy, offer support and encouragement, without being too judgmental.” (Saroj Mullick SDB, “The New Approach to Youth,” in Vidyajyoti Journal of Theological Reflection, February 2018, page 105)

During this time of social-economic upheaval, when   the young are under tremendous turmoil, Fr Arturo Sosa SJ, Superior General of the Society of Jesus, has promulgated following four timely and valuable Universal Apostolic Preferences (UAP) to be accomplished by the Society of Jesus in their respective Jesuit Provinces under Province Apostolic Planning:

  • Leading people to God;
  • Walking with the poor;
  • Accompanying the youth;
  • Taking care of our common home.

Youth is an important part of the Church. Information technology has influenced the youth positively and negatively. Parents, teachers and guardians have a pivotal role to play in accompanying the youth in the changing times. Such accompaniment can be spelt out in the following ten guidelines.

What We Need to Do

  1. Talent Development: A Jesuit school selected a rural tribal boy who walked ten kilometres daily to school for a one-hundred-meter sprint. He outclassed his compatriots in all the events, and bagged a gold medal. He maintained his speed and stamina till his college studies. Later, the Border Security Force recruited him to serve the country. In our schools and parishes, we have no dearth of talented boys and girls. We have only to be innovative to spot their latent talents in academics and extracurricular activities by giving them opportunities and promoting them in the early stages of youth.

2. Extra-curricular Activities: At the opening ceremony of the MP Province Assembly, the school band of Xavier English medium school, Pathalgaon, Chhattisgarh, performed a mesmerizing march past. What attracted the audience most was the astounding confidence of the students. It was still incredible to observe a village tribal girl, daughter of a cook, leading the whole band-group with absolute confidence. Besides having a proper syllabus, a schools needs to empower students in all  the fields through extracurricular activities.


Alexander Ekka SJ

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Cover Story

ENJOY AND CREATE BEAUTY! A word to the senior citizens

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Dear co-travelers,

As we are already or enter the threshold of the category of senior citizens in consecrated life, our outlook on people, events, achievements, and even values of the past changes. Some, of course, continue to be immersed in various activities and some even continue to hold on to responsible positions in various capacities, which make them unaware of their seniority even though they begin to feel physically weaker and mentally less alert than before. They do not want to accept the fact that they are ‘seniors’ and want to continue as before, and even want to achieve more! They even think that they are loved and appreciated by the confreres, co-sisters, and others for continuing to hold on to their position and achievements. They feel that they are non-substitutable!

Obvious Changes

Most seniors, instead, begin to feel various symptoms of old age, like tiredness, lower physical energy and alertness, bodily pains, sicknesses (high blood pressure, arrhythmia, fibrillation of the heart, high glycemia, etc.), constant visits to the hospital, loneliness, less enthusiasm, etc. Even if we do not want to use the word ‘retired’/’pensioned’/’senior’, the fact remains. We may prefer to address ourselves as “differently-abled”! We become aware that the past is already gone and it’s not worth holding on to it. We become less attached to things and stop collecting. We begin to get rid of things, most of which are unnecessary or useless. We begin to forget our successes and achievements. Even those who surround us have already forgotten them. Instead, they seem to remember our failures perhaps more than our achievements! We realize that we have more friends in heaven than here on earth. An awareness dawns on us that it’s time to give a thought to our last and ultimate goal! Few friends and companions who still live have become seniors like us, confronting the same existential situation/problems as us. We even lose interest in spending time with them as we used to in earlier times. These experiences lead us to hold on to the present much more than the past or future, and rightly so. We become more aware that what we ‘are’ is more important than what we ‘do’. We have all the time “to be” than “to do” so many things. It is this awareness that makes us more human and more compassionate towards all and everything. We begin to leave aside the concept of religious life as one of solving problems, one’s own or of others, and start living the present in its fullness. We give more importance to spirituality than religion and religious practices!

As compassionate human beings, we seniors become aware, among other things, that we are gifted with deep sentiments of the heart more than the intellect. Thus, for example, we begin to appreciate the beauty of nature, which is the expression of the creative art of God Himself. We recognize that every being that exists is verum, bonum et pulchrum (true, good, and beautiful). What is true is good and what is good is beautiful. What is beautiful is also good and true. Beauty is the splendour of good and truth. Beauty has the same immense extension of being, truth, and good. We start enjoying the beauty of nature.

Beauty All Around Us

We become more aware that we are surrounded by beauty. We are immersed in beauty! Beauty appears to us and makes itself seen in obvious ways: beautiful is a flower, beautiful is a mountain cliff, beautiful is the sky quilted with stars in the dark night, beautiful is the mother bird who picks up her little ones and brings them to a safer place, beautiful is the child who plays with friends, beautiful is the boy who gives his seat on the bus to the elderly, beautiful are the callused hands of the worker, beautiful is the caress of the father, of the mother, beautiful is the night of the one who has assisted a sick person in the hospital, beautiful are the hands of two enemies who hug and make peace, beautiful is the choice to give oneself to God for all life…. How much beauty around us…!


Fr Scaria Thuruthiyil SDB

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Vocation Stories

In Pursuit of Happiness

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Here is the story of a young man’s search for happiness. He had everything that most people can only wish for—educated and well-to-do parents, an IIT degree, tops jobs, freedom, money, friends, travel. But that is not where he found what his heart was looking for.—Editor

“Who doesn’t want to be happy?” These are familiar lines, aren’t they? We all long for happiness. Often, happiness gets translated in terms of money, position, job security, a good spouse, a wonderful family and so on. The norms one puts for one’s happiness depend on individuals, and it varies from person to person. Being a wanderlust person, I have travelled far and wide, both internally and externally. I would like to describe my story as a journey in pursuit of happiness.

My journey began three decades ago. I was privileged to have a wonderful family. I belonged to a family of four—father, mother, a younger sister and me. I was also blessed to savour the love and care of grandparents, both paternal and maternal. My father used to tell me, “Whatever you become and wherever you are, be a good human being; nothing else matters.” My mother often reminded me never to disgrace God. I am proud that I still cling to these golden words. I was a bit shy. My sister, being an outgoing and altruistic person, taught me the importance and depth of interpersonal relationships.

Hailing from a small parish belonging to the Syro-Malankara community, we were regular for Sunday masses. In fact, I longed for it, because those days we had mass only on Sundays because of the lack of priests. My grandparents inculcated a deep Eucharistic devotion in me. I saw them making their confession invariably every Sunday and receiving Holy Communion with utmost devotion. Moreover, they saw to it that I too am on the right track. At the age of eleven, I became an altar boy. No one invited me or trained me, but one day it so happened that there was no one to serve and I took it as a chance and continued to do so.

Three Longings—and a Full Life

Right from my childhood, I have longed for only three things: to serve at the altar (initially as an altar boy), to travel (preferably on a window seat near the driver) and to drive. I had a normal schooling. I won’t dare to say that those were the best days of my life,  for the reason that it failed to create a deep impression in me. Needless to say, I am not a fan of our education system. It keeps feeding pupils and fails to empower them. The list of Nobel laureates from India, the second most populous country in the world, will substantiate my claim. I was just part of the normal routine and ritual called education and I could only brag about passing out with flying colours and thus securing my higher studies.

But I was blessed in another way—having wonderful friends. Though only a few, they were remarkable. We were never a gang nor a mob following the wind of our childhood and adolescent days, but we were into ideas and ideologies (my philosophy of life originated there and not in my philosophy classes). It was also a ritual those days to ask about a child’s ambition. I was bombarded with this question quite often, “Hey, Abin, what you want to become?” Anticipated answers were doctor or engineer. But I told them “Hmm, I want to become a driver, a race driver.”

For any Keralite student, class X is crucial. Since you are Catholic, you can always expect a question: “Do want to join the seminary and become a priest?” I too was bombarded with this question. My heart told me that you will do well as a priest, but the gut told me no. I went with my gut, and I still have no regret over that. Later on, I came to know that everyone in my family and parish expected a “Yes” from me. Thereafter, I tailed the trend and joined for science group and eventually ended up studying engineering.


Abraham Abin Thomas SDB

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Tips For Superiors

The Five “Whys” Technique

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Recently I visited one of our communities, where a group of boys who had finished the 12th standard were undergoing a year of orientation programmes in preparation for entering the novitiate.  The superior of the community told me that, in spite of all the efforts made by him and the other members of the staff, the students were not making much progress intellectually and in their studies.  I was quite surprised to hear that, since the institution was well equipped with all the infrastructure that was needed and had also a rather qualified staff. While talking to the priest in charge of studies in that institution, he told me that the superior was a very good farmer and much interested in farming.  So, irrespective of whether it was class time or study time, he would take the boys to the farm and make them do all kinds of work under the pretext that the boys should be given an all-round formation.  Therefore, the boys did not get much time to study.  They did not also feel that study was important, since study time was sacrificed for work.  The superior did not pay much attention to the opinions expressed by the other staff members.

            In the last two months, we have been dealing with some guidelines for giving corrections.  Last month we talked about the importance of having a win-win approach.  This month, we shall talk about a simple technique for analysing a problem and finding out its root cause, so that steps can be taken to remedy the situation.  It is known as the “Five Whys Technique.”  This is basically a technique for solving problems.  We are applying it here to the context of giving corrections.   Through giving corrections, we are actually trying to “solve” a problem.

Asking More Whys

            The 5 Whys Technique consists in stating a problem and asking why it happened.  We have to make sure that the answer we give is objective and is not based on our biases or prejudices.  The question ‘why’ is repeated four more times.  As we keep asking the question ‘why’ we will arrive at the root cause, the real cause of the problem.  Once the root cause is found, we can take steps to remedy the situation.


Fr Jose Kuttianimattathil SDB

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