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My Enemies & Blessings

One fine evening, as I was praying the psalm, “When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall” (Psalm 22: 12)”, I was struck by a question, “Who are my enemies?  I could not get any name or person’s face as my enemies.  I was surprised to hear the following as answer from within:  my fear, anxiety, worry, inferior feeling, hopelessness, guilt, anger, etc., are my enemies.  Against these negative feelings I was waging war, not knowing that I had only to surrender to the Lord in faith.

The greatest blessing in Religious Life is that I get ample opportunities to grow in self-awareness, self-knowledge and self-esteem.  A good number of persons—preachers, teachers and other enlightened persons—I came across, to whom I could open myself, my inner self, get help and be transformed.  Good books helped me, too. I have always experienced tremendous faith in the invisible, intuitive presence of God in my life.

In 2003, on January 26. Sunday (Republic Day), I was in one of the Communities in Eluru, Andhra Pradesh.  The young Sisters had gone to the villages for teaching Catechism and for Mass.  I had decided to visit a home for the mentally challenged children, run by the Missionaries of Charity (Mother Theresa’s Sisters), located in Vangaya Gudem in Eluru, just one and a half kilometre away from our convent.  My Superior had given me sixty Rupees for the auto fare. I decided to use that money to buy sweets for the children, and go there on foot. I had no companion to go with me.  Although it was daytime, walking alone in an unknown place scared me.  At that time, I could not speak or write the local language (Telugu).  Fear enveloped me.

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Sr Nambi Kithari SAP

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What is a Budget?

Budget is nothing but making a plan to spend our money. It is drawing up a spending plan for the resources we have.  It allows us to determine in advance our future goal and the way to get there. In case we do not have sufficient money, it helps us to prioritize and spend on the more important items and avoid or postpone the others, so that we can have the money required for the envisaged financial goal. When we are faced with too     many items to spend on with our limited resources, then we need to separate the items based on what is basic and what is discretionary, and then prioritize among the basic needs. It helps us to focus on the things that we need and prioritize our spending accordingly. This will enable us to save money for our greater goals and in the light of it to spend only on our actual needs and not on all our wants. Thus, it is a blueprint of our financial planning. It is a roadmap or plan to achieve specific goals by managing our priorities and planning the use of money accordingly.

The starting point of a Budget

Making a budget always begins with the resources available to us. It is nothing but what we can count as our income. When we say ‘income,’ we mean what we can be sure of–regular salary, rental income, interest income, etc. Thus, the starting point for any budget is our actual income.

Two kinds of Budgets

Budgets can be of two types: (a) activity budget, and (b) goal-oriented budget.

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Fr Alex Gnanapragasam SJ

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Brother Dickson was very excited as he shared his experience of a community which he had visited recently.  He had been to an international seminar in Rome. One of the participants of the seminar, a student-brother, invited him to his community where the community members were from different countries.  Being an international community, that day they were felicitating those from South America.  They reached the community around 9.30 p.m., after the community had finished their dinner.  This is how Dickson describes his experience: “We were welcomed with hugs and warm greetings. This seemed quite strange to me as the brother who was with me had been away from the community only for three days, and yet there was so much joy and excitement on seeing him. After welcoming us, we were served whatever food was there and, though it was late, the rector and administrator and at least ten or twelve brothers sat with us till almost midnight, talking and laughing. There was so much of joy, concern, listening to each other and a genuine respect for each person. I really admired the rector and administrator for the way their presence enriched the gathering. The rector, a listening presence and so very welcoming; the administrator, a jovial man, full of life, who gave a bear hug to both of us. The brothers at the table too were incredibly open and hospitable … Their ability to allow everyone to talk, to pay attention to each one’s opinion, laugh at each other’s jokes, going beyond cultural and personal differences, was truly a blessed experience for me.”

As I was listening to Dickson, sharing his experience with such excitement, I felt that he was describing a community with many synodal characteristics.

What is a Synodal Community?

The word synod comes from the Greek words syn which means with and hodos which means way or path.  It refers to “walking together,” or an “assembly,” or the “path along which the people of God walk together.”  Integrating these different meanings, in relation to consecrated life, we may describe a synodal community as a group of consecrated person, who are brought together by God, to live in communion, and carry out the apostolate that God wants to be done in a place, in a participatory way.  We are not looking at a synodal community in general (a parish is also synodal community), but at a synodal community of consecrated persons.  And we focus our attention on the dynamics within the community.  Synodality is not new.  It goes back to the early Church (Acts 15).  And religious communities usually had elements of synodality – being together, listening in prayer, sharing responsibilities.  Today we are asked to make synodality our way of life, and journey together, not only with the members of our community, but with everyone and the whole of creation.

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Fr Jose Kuttianimattathil SDB

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Susan phoned her boyfriend John. She wanted to talk to him badly. But he said he was out shopping and would call her back in an hour. Susan was not happy. But she waited for the hour to be over. An hour and half passed and he had not called her back. She called him back and gave him a mouthful, telling him how callous he was, not caring for her, burst into tears, and threatened to break off their relationship. John said sorry and explained what had happened. On the way back from shopping, he witnessed a bike accident and had stopped to help and had forgotten to call her. Susan continued to be angry, insisting he could still have called her. John apologized. Now Susan began to feel guilty for the way she behaved. To soothe her feelings, she began to cut herself—something she would do whenever she felt hurt.

Susan was suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

BPD CHARACTERISTICS

The Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is characterised by the following:

• Intense emotionality characterised by frequent and fast mood changes;
• Uncontrolled, intense anger and rage; sadness and irritability;
• Intense craving for intimacy, accompanied by fear of abandonment triggered by the slightest suspicion of lack of interest on the part of the other and frantic efforts to prevent it;
• Intense idealisation (admiration or love) followed by equally intense devaluation (dislike and deprecation) in quick succession;
• Relationships characterised by passionate attachments, but also frequent and intense conflicts;
• Self-harming (cutting, bruising, burning) and suicidal behaviour;
• Impaired or distorted cognitive processes;
• Underlying fragile sense of self and resulting insecurity and feelings of emptiness.

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FR JOSE PARPPULLY SDB

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Bless You, Prison

Director: Nicolae Mărgineanu  * Cast:  Maria Ploae, Dorina Lazar, Ecaterina Nazare, Damian Oancea, Maria Rotaru (2002. 90 minutes)

            A touching movie based on the autobiographical novel by the Rumanian intellectual and political activist Nicoleta Valeria Bruteanu (Prisone, Arise), who was unjustly imprisoned and tortured for four years on account of her political ideals and religious faith. Nicoleta was a leader of the Peasants party that led a major resistance movement against the Nazis during the World War II occupation of Eastern Europe. However, when the country was liberated by the Soviet Army, the Stalinist regime sought to establish a communist puppet government that unleashed brutal persecution upon their political opponents which included the Romanian Orthodox church. Nicoleta is taken prisoner without trial and tortured by the communists demanding her to disclose the names of her alleged collaborators. She refuses to betray innocent people despite severe torture and solitary imprisonment. On the wall of the dark solitary cell she discovers a few verses of the Psalms scrawled by someone, which sparks her frozen faith and hope. Nicoleta keeps her faith alive, adding to the scrawls on her own.

She is later transferred to a slave labour camp. Even under the harsh circumstances, she shares her faith with the fellow prisoners. Some despise her; others accept her witness, and find joy in their terrible condition. The prison guards try to prevent their Easter celebrations, but the prisoners in one section sing a well known Easter hymn, which is soon taken up by the prisoners in the other sections of the camp, raising their spirits. In the prison she experienced the best and the worst the world has to offer. Her rediscovery of God in the midst of this, and the assurance of the protection of the loving God make her grateful rather than bitter. After release Nicoleta and her husband sought political asylum in France and continued to be witnesses to their faith.

Polycarp

Director: Joe Henline  * Cast: Garry Nation, Eliya Hurt ,Rusty Martin, Justin Lewis    Ryan-Iver Klann Curt Cloninger, Gary Bosek , Ilse Apestegui,  Radek Lord (2015,  94  minutes)

Partly fictionalized story of the 2^nd century saint and martyr, St Polycarp of Smyrna, who was a disciple of St John the Apostle and bishop of Smyrna, the movie highlights the significant events of the last decade of his life while focusing on the life and times of the first Christian communities in the ancient Eastern Roman empire. At a time when the Rome was at its zenith,  the nascent Christian communities are brutally persecuted and even considered atheists because they refuse to worship the emperor as God. The story is told from the point of view of Anna, a liberated slave girl. Polycarp, a slave purchased into freedom by an aristocratic convert to Christian faith, eventually becomes the bishop and is a great influence upon his community. He lives a frugal life, writing letters against the various heresies of the time. Anna, the slave girl, is purchased into freedom by a Christian family and is accepted into the household of Polycarp. She is a total stranger to the Christian idea of God and even questions the injustice of a god who made her a slave. However, she experiences the love of a family in the bishop’s household and learns about the faith. Anna is confused. “I don’t believe in the gods!” she declares. “I don’t believe in the gods either,” Polycarp tells her. “There is a God who answers prayer.” In the meanwhile the arrogant Roman proconsul of Smyrna thinks of the Christian sect as a threat to the empire and unleashes a wave of persecution, throwing professing Christians to the lions or executing them by other means.  He conducts public ceremonies erecting a shrine to the emperor and asking Christians to offer acts of public worship or face death. Young Anna is witness to such scenes. Once unwittingly she becomes instrumental in the victimization of  one  young member of the community and her friend. The boy is fed to the lions in the arena in public. When the Proconsul seeks the life of Polycarp, his friends urge him to flee. He does so unwillingly. When he realizes that it is time for him to make his stand, he returns. He is arrested, and is brought before the Proconsul. When asked to offer incense worship to the emperor or face death, Polycarp accepts his martyrdom, declaring clearly that he does respect the emperor but would not worship a human in place of the true God, Jesus. He tells the Proconsul that for eight-six years he has served the Lord, and will not now betray Him.

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Prof Gigy Joseph

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Rabble-Rouser for Peace: The Authorized Biography of Desmond Tutu.

By John Allen

This book has been called “the Definitive biography of a truly phenomenal life” by South Africa Times.

Another reviewer (Amazon.com) wrote:

“Desmond Tutu is, was and always will be unique campaigner for the truth. When you look at just what he had to put up with that the likes of the rest of us could not possibly quantify, you may be able to appreciate the true character of a remarkable man. He is never afraid to say what he believes to be necessary, nor afraid to say it to whomever he feels must hear it. Just what South Africa and, indeed; the rest of the world would be like without him cannot be contemplated. For in depth study, or just to satisfy an enquiring mind, this book is essential.”

Desmond Tutu, who died last December 26, is one of the most remarkable personalities of our time.  Remembered together with Nelson Mandela as the maker of Modern South Africa, he fought a peaceful battle against the South African apartheid and afterwards became the chief instrument of the healing of the wounded “Rainbow Nation”. The biographer writes from his long and close association with the archbishop, providing an admirable portrait of a man who taught the world what the spiritual and political impact of a Christian leadership can be. Born the son of a teacher in the racially segregated Klerksdorp, Desmond Tutu survived privation and sickness, walking to school barefoot and started as a teacher himself. His father’s favourite saying, “don’t raise your voice, improve your argument” always remained with him. His leadership skills were honed in the seminary. He was gifted with a caring nature, an ebullient personality, dauntless courage, a photographic memory and powerful oratorical skills. He studied theology in London and was created bishop of Lesotho, left this to become the first black General Secretary of the South African Council of Churches, a position he held during the troublesome years of the anti -apartheid struggle. The apartheid regime named him South Africa’s “Public Enemy Number One.” His fearless leadership of South African struggle won the admiration of the global community. On several occasions during the freedom struggle, his direct intervention effectively avoided violent clashes and bloodshed and procured pardon for the unjustly condemned. Tutu indeed was a ‘rabble rouser’ but one who always stuck to non-violence even in the face of provocation, threats and state brutality. He roused the conscience of the world against the inhuman racism of the white apartheid regime against the natives.  When Nelson Mandela assumed office as the first President of liberated South Africa, Tutu, as Chairman of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, undertook the daunting task of ensuring justice and racial reconciliation.  Here he showed how the power of Christian faith could heal a whole nation and achieve something that mere politics cannot do.  Allen sees this achievement as the single greatest legacy of Tutu. He was convinced that an earnest regard for human rights is true justice and the foundation of peace. When he won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1984, the world rejoiced. Allen also provides impressions of Tutu’s personality through the words of illustrious personalities such as Nelson Mandela, F.W. de Klerk, the former President of South Africa, former U. S. Vice-president Al Gore, and rock star Bono of U2.The book also includes the critical views of those who opposed Tutu .Tutu died a happy and fulfilled man, because, as the biographer notes, he “believed the transition to democracy fulfilled his or God’s vision for South Africa.” In this way he was more fortunate than Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, who did not live to see the fruits of their life’s labours.

The archbishop “was a leader with integrity, with an extraordinary ability to bring people together,” said Father Russell Pollitt, director of the Jesuit Institute in Johannesburg. While “we have lots of people in leadership positions, we don’t have many leaders” in South Africa, he said in a Dec. 26 telephone interview. “He was an articulate man with a deep understanding of human beings,” Father Pollitt added, noting that Archbishop Tutu “was a gentle and compassionate man as well as being forceful in social justice issues.”

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Prof. Gigy Joseph

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This month, we interview a well-educated Parsi lady who worked for decades in XLRI, which is, without doubt, one of the premier management institutions in India.

1. What has been your association with Catholic institutions?

My very close association with Catholic institutions began from my childhood when I joined Sacred Heart Convent School here in Jamshedpur.  An added benefit was the fact that we had a very fine Catholic family, the Gomes family, with whom we grew up and also accompanied them to the School Chapel. A beautiful memory when I look back.

2. What are the best things you learnt as a student in a Catholic School?

I think the best things revolve not just around academics, but more importantly around character formation and values which the Sisters at Sacred Heart ingrained in us so well that they stayed with us all through our lives. The Moral Science classes with which the school day began taught us so much about virtues, vices, and all those ingredients for a well-balanced life to face in our future.

3. Looking back, what suggestions would you make to your educators to make educational experience even better?

I think for the challenging times we are living in, if schools have subjects like Current Affairs, as well as Personality Development, this would go a long way in enabling students to prepare for their personal and professional growth.

4. You became part of the administrative team at XLRI.  What impressed you and inspired you in this experience?

I joined XLRI as Secretary to Fr E H McGrath SJ, one of the founding fathers of XLRI.  I might mention here that, though I was a graduate from Jamshedpur Women’s College, my actual learning began after I joined XLRI, assisting Fr McGrath.  Fr McGrath inspired not just me but all the students and each and every person whose lives he touched.  Firstly, he taught me to think! His humanistic approach towards the poor and marginalized had a tremendous impact on me. Fr McGrath was a “labour” person and so the dignity of labour stood out tall.  Later, I was part of a team in the Director’s Office at XLRI. I assisted Fr Casimir Raj and Fr E Abraham—both Directors at XLRI.  It was a very challenging time for me, as I worked as part of the team. Each responsibility given to me brought out the best in me. The Jesuits in XLRI worked with a vision and mission awareness that was unparalleled, as they strove to place XLRI on the world map, with so many foreign universities from Europe, USA and UK.

5. What would you suggest for making the contribution of this and other
   Catholic institutions still more relevant and inspiring ?

Catholic institutions have made a significant contribution in so many fields. They continue to amaze me with so much excellent work they have done, particularly in the field of education.  We have truly been blessed with the role played by Catholic institutions in our lives.  I think Mother Teresa and Missionaries of Charity stand a class apart.  I honestly do not have any suggestions from my side. I think they have done and are doing their best. God bless them!

Mother Mary and Infant Jesus continue to protect us.  Mount Mary’s Church in Bandra is flooded with worshippers from all faiths. What is holding them together is their infinite faith in Jesus.

6. Any person who stands out in your memory from your years as a student or as a staff member? What did you learn from this person or these persons?

XLRI was set up by the Jamshedpur Jesuit Society.  Since its inception in 1948, the Jesuits toiled endlessly to lay the foundation of Xavier Labour Relations Institute in Jamshedpur. From a modest beginning, XLRI, which is now called Xavier School of Management, is indeed a premier Business School in the country and is the Number One private business school in the country.  It maintains a consistent excellent ranking in the country as a whole.

The three persons who stand out are Fathers Quinn Enright, William N Tome, Edward H McGrath and Oswald Mascarenhas. Fr  Oswald was JRD Chair Professor of Business Ethics at XLRI, whom I assisted in his research and publication work. As I have mentioned earlier, Fr McGrath, being my mentor, inspired me the most.  He moved to Orissa in 1987 as Director of the Human Life Centre.  His was a clear mission to serve the poor and he pursued it with single-minded passion. I feel personally indebted to him for all his grooming and mentoring which has made me “Fully Human and Fully Alive.”

7. According to you, what do we Indians of different faiths and backgrounds need to do to make our country a nation of well-educated, harmoniously integrated and reasonably prosperous people ?

I think we Indians need to adopt a more inclusive approach so as to permit people of different faiths to “live and let live.”  Such an approach will bring in harmony and peace between people of different faiths.  One way to achieve this end is to have small videos showing both grown-ups and children from different faiths weaving a beautiful friendship together. The motto should be “Love Conquers All.”  Such video clips should be in Hindi, so that people in the rural areas can understand the meaning of friendship and how religion has nothing to do with all the futile fighting and killings going on, most of it sadly politically motivated. So too, some seminars need to be conducted in schools and colleges highlighting the importance of all faiths woven together to make India the beautiful country it is. Mera Bharat Mahaan!

8. What do you see as your main contribution to XLRI as a team member? Who or what inspires you? What difference do you want to and hope to make?

I served XLRI for forty-three years. So, my emotional connect with XLRI is very much there. My main contribution was in the field of publication work initially and subsequently, while in the Director’s Office, interacting with our collaborators and a host of endeavors involving students and student activities.

I believe each one of us can make a difference in the lives of those we encounter in such a way that we leave this world a slightly better place than what it was when we arrived.  The conscious choice is ours.

Ms Roshan N Dastur was secretary to Fr E H McGrath SJ, Senior Professor of Organizational Behaviour and one of the pioneers of XLRI, Jamshedpur, which is one of the premier business schools in India. She was then Executive Assistant to the Director of XLRI, Fr E Abraham SJ. Her hobbies are: music, debating, dramatics and singing. She believes in people therapy and doing her bit for the marginalized.

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Ms Roshan Dastur

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MARCH 8:

International Women’s Day

March 8 is observed as International Women’s Day. Through the celebration of IWD, the UNO dreams of a world of “gender equality (Theme of 2022), free of bias, stereotypes, and discrimination. A world that is diverse, equitable, and inclusive.”  IWD invites all to celebrate “social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women.” The day also gives a call to “raise awareness about women’s equality, lobby for accelerated gender parity, fundraise for female-focused charities.”

The reality of women in our world and in our country is far from the ideal set in the backdrop of IWD.  Atrocities committed against women are numerous. Dowry deaths, rapes, violence, discrimination, unequal opportunity, oppression, economic exploitation of women—all this continues to shame our world.

The most important action that is called for towards forming a “diverse, equitable and inclusive” society is the attitudinal change towards women. This can be done most effectively and pervasively in our homes and schools.

Here are the wonderful women who made a difference in my own life.

Mother: My mother was a very simple illiterate woman. I remember her for her patience, endurance, hard work, simplicity and sacrificing spirit. If not for her generosity, I wouldn’t be a priest today, since I am the only son in the family.

Sister: My elder sister took the place of my father. She cares a lot for me, and paid all the expenses for my education and ordination. I am always welcome in her home.

Teachers: I grew in self-confidence and learnt much, thanks to two great women teachers: Sr Dominica Lakra OSU, for her affectionate encouragement and opportunities for going on the stage, and Miss Ratna Halder, for recognizing my talents and giving me attention.

Friends: Through their affection, fidelity, care, unconditional acceptance, understanding and challenging love, they accompany me in my growth as a man and as a religious priest.

Each of us owes much to the women in our lives. Our educational policies, plans and actions at institutional, diocesan/congregational and national levels must promote gender equality and respect for women. We need to begin with young minds to bring about a change in the mentality with regard to women.

MARCH 22:

WORLD WATER DAY

World Water Day is celebrated on 22 March every year. The United Nations seeks to raise awareness in the world about two billion people currently living without access to safe water. The core focus of World Water Day is to inspire action towards Sustainable Development Goal (SDG) 6: Water and Sanitation for All by 2030.

In Bundelkhand region girls do not want to be married in certain villages because they have to walk a few miles to fetch drinking water.

On 19 June 2019, Chennai city officials declared “Day Zero” (the day when almost no water is left) had been reached, as all the four main reservoirs supplying water to the city had run dry.

What can we do? What can I do?

I would like to share a story of a six-year-old boy called Ryan Hreljac.

In January 1998, Nancy Prest, the class teacher of Grade I of Holy Cross Catholic School in Kemptville Ontario, Canada, described to her young students about the sad plight of lack of clean water in African villages. Her story touched the heart of a little boy of six, Ryan Hreljac so deeply that he resolved to raise $70 for a well. To achieve this, he cleaned the house, mowed the lawn, emptied the garbage bins, made sacrifices and bettered his grade to garner the needed amount. Later, upon hearing of the need to purchase a driller ($25,000) to provide more wells, he was determined to work harder. He began to talk to people to help.  He gave an interview in the local TV channel. An article was published about his dream project. Inspired by the effort of this young lad, generous people contributed the amount. A well was bored at Angolo Primary School in Otwal subcounty of Northern Uganda. It was named “Ryan’s well.” His joy was doubled when he and his parents were able to visit Otwal in Uganda and meet his pen pal, Akana Jimmy.

All, no matter who we are, can contribute to the preservation of clean water. All we need is to feel the water crisis in our heart, like six-year-old Ryan.

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Fr Shilanand Kerketta SDB

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Two Articles that Helped

Thanks for the inspiring article, “Give proper feedback” by Joe Mannath SDB (Magnet – January, 2022) which we need for our life today. I know that feedback from others means a lot. But when I have to give feedback to others, I become so pessimistic. Instead of appreciating and affirming, I usually ignore or become indifferent. This pains the other, and our relationships are curtailed. At times there is a desire to appreciate but we are prejudiced. The ten basic rules are a great help to be positive and to give good feedback for one’s growth and for the growth of others.

The article “The Religious Superior’s Complex Role” by Alex G., SJ (Magnet – February, 2022) gives a lot of information about the role of superiors. We all are aware, yet there are times when we are not acting accordingly. It’s not only superiors; every religious has a responsibility towards one another. The superior cannot do anything on her own; she needs community and the community cannot exercise anything without the superior. Both are important for a good community building and serving the other. Superiors have greater responsibility towards temporal administration, religious communities and in the apostolic works. Thank you for giving us more clarity in exercising our responsibility which will surely make our communities a loving home and family.

Hrudaya Mary JMJ, Bangalore, Karnataka

Candles, Interview, Ministry

You Joes seem to sweep the honours, as I find Joe Anthony’s account of the power couple illuminating Candles in the Dark an inspiring narrative, which will surely motivate some readers to do likewise.

The interview with Alena Fernandez is also very stimulating, and I enjoyed her clarity of thought and vision.

Matthew George’s article on ministry is another energizing, down-to-earth story.  I loved his last paragraph, with two nuggets in the first and last sentences!

Conrad D’Souza CFC, Shillong, Meghalaya

All the Articles

I found all the articles very well written.

The one on human trafficking was very necessary and heart wrenching—very difficult to read. But that was the whole purpose, isn’t it, to not let ourselves become complacent?

Loved your editorial, as I truly believe that we the people of God have to more actively work for unity and bring together all people of good will. If forces for evil can work together, how much more so should forces of good work together? I too agree that this increasingly difficult in a world full of escalating divisiveness.

But Magnet is a good tool to combat that.

The anti-average slogan is very relevant for us Christians today and was great.

I liked most of the articles, especially the one by Fr Jose Kuttianimattathil on a listening church and synodality, your article on when not to take decisions, the one on mental health and the sister superiors’ article on thinking together and how important discerning decisions in a congregations and provincial level is crucial for all the members growing together and not just taking unilateral decisions.

Dr Ann Agnes Mathew, Bangalore

Evil of Child Trafficking

I wish to thank the MAGNET team for throwing light on social issues such as child trafficking. It is sad to see how the heinous practice of child trafficking is prevalent in our society. Child trafficking is a stain on humanity. The evil of trafficking strips children of their dignity and future. I was inspired by the works of some Good Samaritans, engrossed in protecting and rehabilitating trafficked children. The article, written by Sr Lini Sheeja MSC really exposed the pathetic situation of children. It is our social responsibility to curb this evil and support those who have been doing this work. Thanks to the MAGNET team.

Rushikesh Makasare SJ, Vinayala, Mumbai

Helped by Many Articles

As always, the present issue also benefited me. The second paragraph of the editorial and the column “Helps for Growth” helped me for a personal verification. The article on Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder by Fr Jose Parappully too helped for an introspection. The article on child trafficking wrenched my heart and kept me on my knees making my own, the sufferings of those innocent children. “Meeting God” by Sr Nambikkai and the Testimony by Royston D’Souza, the Candles in the Dark, the interview with Sr Alena—all lifted my heart to the Lord in thanksgiving. Together with me my community members also thank Magnet for presenting my vocation story. A very special thanks to Fr Joe for reading and editing it well as only you could do it.

Sr Mary Tancy PCPA, Adoration Monastery, Chelacombu, Kerala

Unique Every Month

You have a unique issue every month. The articles are filled with colorful and eye-catching drawings, which makes them stand out from other publications. There are plenty of timeless and priceless articles, stories, etc., in the magazine. I want to express my sincere appreciation to the editor and the entire team for their hard work and painstaking efforts. The magazine “MAGNET ” keeps me glued to it and I look forward to future issues with eager anticipation.

Kakumanu  Teja, Vijayawada, A.P

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A Common Failure: The husband, a well-educated man, was back from a trip. He brought a sari for his wife. They were both respected professionals who also did much charity. The woman, a close relative of mine who told me this whole story later, said, “What I need from you is not one more sari. We need mutual respect.” The man, an honest, but “traditional” Indian, looked shocked. “You mean: I have to respect you?” He emphasized the I and the You. “Yes,” she told him calmly.

She understood that, in his view, a wife should “respect” her husband. He should look after her. But the idea of respecting her was alien to him.

Respect is not something we do or show for some people because of their position or age or role or gender or whatever. It is what is due to every human being. I use my laptop. I neither love it nor respect it. It is something to be used—and discarded when it no longer functions. That is not how we should treat each other.

A recent Indian survey brought out this shocking truth:  a significant number of both men AND women find wife-beating OK in several instances. Marital violence is commoner than admitted; many women suffer in silence.

This is just one area in which our sisters, mothers, daughters, friends, teachers, nurses,… need greater respect and justice. In fact, if you talk with Indian nursing students, you will find that most want to work in the West. The reason is not just the higher salary. They feel more respected in other cultures.

Both in secular society and in religious circles, all of us—women and men—need to do more to promote gender equality and mutual respect. This will be good for ALL of us—both women and men, and for future generations.

The International Day of Women is just one reminder of this important human task

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This month’s cover story: About the most urgent, pressing challenges we religious, especially superiors, face today in India. I am sure, if I were to check with, say, ten others, there will not be unanimity on these priorities. So, take them simply as one person’s opinion, after seeing and listening to many, many religious all over India and elsewhere.

Life—whether lived in marriage and family or celibate community—is never a one-point or single agenda quest. Some are gripped by one dimension or two; others by quite different ones. That depends on experiences, contacts, readings, convictions, influences of others. The best we can do is to listen to one another with respect and openness, to learn from one another and choose what seems to be the best or the least harmful among our many imperfect options.

In choosing priorities and looking at our options, it is good to remember that we, religious, are mostly sheltered from the major tragedies of life—destitution, physical violence, wrong imprisonment, loss of livelihood, illness with no money for treatment, chronic undernourishment, illiteracy, contempt of the powerful, … We largely deal with small and manageable problems, and with human and material means which most lay persons cannot dream of.

But our possible outreach is incredibly larger—especially in a country where the vast majority are deprived of essentials, and struggle to make ends meet. May the needs and sufferings of the neediest and weakest get our immediate and most compassionate attention.

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Changes in National CRI:

By the time you receive this issue, we will have a new National Secretary: Sr Elsa Muttathu PBVM. She has rich experience serving different categories of people, and doing different types of ministries. The last stint was six years at the United Nations. A committed and courageous woman religious, Elsa is sure to bring dynamic leadership to National CRI.

I have accepted to continue as Editor of MAGNET until I find a new editor. If you know an experienced writer who is also a meticulous editor, please let me know.

Fr Kashimeer Arulappa MMI, my collegue in CRI House for a year now, has agreed to be the Circulation Manager.

Our columnists continue their regular and competent service, and do it free of charge.

We hear glowing tributes about MAGNET. Help us to reach many more readers. See the yellow box below for one simple, affordable option.

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Fr Joe Mannath SDB

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