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The moment we hear the word ‘December’ most of us would think of Christmas. The moment we hear the word ‘Christmas’, most of us would think of two families – the Holy Family and our own – the family that celebrated the very first Christmas in heartrending circumstances and our own families that strive, year after year, to make it a joyful occasion.

So this time let us talk of a man whose monumental achievement – whose magnum opus – has to do with the Holy Family. Strangely and sadly, he had no family of his own. When he was taking his usual early morning walk around the streets of Barcelona, Spain, he was knocked down by a trolley car. Someone did take him to the hospital. But he was unconscious and there was no one to identify him, no one who missed him. The hospital staff thought he must be a beggar, and so ignored him. It was two days before someone recognized that this old man was none other than the great architect Antoni Gaudi, creator of the Sagrada Familia Basilica in Barcelona.‘Sagrada Familia’ means ‘Holy Family.’

He died on 10 June 1926. Now, 90 years later, the Sagrada Familia Basilica enjoys global popularity. The most-visited monument in Spain, it is one of Gaudi’s seven works which have been declared World Heritage Sites by UNESCO. Gaudi is hailed as ‘God’s architect’ and hundreds of his admirers have asked the Church to declare him a saint.

Antoni Gaudi was born in 1852 in Reus in the Catalonian region of Spain. He studied architecture in Barcelona. After some of the buildings he constructed made him well-known, he was put in charge of building the cathedral in Barcelona. As the beautiful church began to take shape, his faith deepened. Some say that he underwent a transforming religious experience when he was working on the Christmas façade that depicted the birth of Jesus.

Interestingly, his talent and fame did not diminish his interest in workers’ welfare. He designed a workers’ colony, which had schools, a hospital and a football stadium. Gaudi also designed and personally financed a school for the children of the Basilica’s laborers and for the poorest families in the neighborhood. The church became known as ‘the Cathedral of the Poor’. “The poor must always feel welcomed in the Church,” he used to say.

Why did he have no family of his own? He was attracted to only one woman, Josefa Moreu, a teacher, but she did not respond to his love, and he remained single till the end. He lived with his father and a niece. After his father, his niece, his friends and patrons died, Gaudi said, “My good friends are dead; I have no family and no clients, no fortune, nothing. Now I can dedicate myself entirely to the Church.”

Gaudi died without completing the cathedral. It is expected to be completed by 2026, to coincide with the 100^th anniversary of Gaudi’s death. The uncompleted cathedral was consecrated and declared a Basilica by Pope Benedict XVI in 2010. On 15 Dec last year the Association for the Beatification of Antoni Gaudi organized a concert in Rome titled, ‘Gaudi and Mercy.’ The next day Pope Francis told the organizers that he hoped Gaudi would soon be declared ‘Venerable.’

The unfinished Basilica of Holy Family, the only church in the world that has been under construction for more than a century, continues to attract millions. Non-Catholics and even atheists have confessed that they sensed a divine presence within the magnificent church.

Go, visit a church during this Christmas season late in the evening, and in the soft glow of Christmas candles, think of Gaudi, who used his God-given talent to build a church that draws millions to God. Think of the Holy Family and your own. And if you, like Gaudi, happen to remain single, because of your religious commitment or circumstances of life, thank God for all those who, by their love and friendship, have made you feel at home and make every Christmas a season of joy.

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– Fr. M. A. Joe Antony, S.J. is at present editor, Jivan, the magazine of South Asian Jesuits and the executive secretary of and adviser to the Provincial Superior of Jesuits in Tamil Nadu. For 20 years he edited the New Leader and gave it a new life and reputation

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In this article, Advocate  Sister Jessy Kurian explains what we need to do when faced with ordinary legal issues. It helps to know what our rights are as consumers, and how to go about securing these rights if they are violated.

Recently a friend complained to me that she purchased three sarees to present to her domestic helps. The shop keeper did not allow her to open the sarees and see whether there was any damage. Back home, she found the sarees were damaged. When she took them back to the shop, the seller refused to take them back, saying: “It is written on the bill: ‘Goods once sold will not be taken back.’”

            A consumer is the one who buys any goods for a consideration which he/she paid or promised to pay or partly paid and partly promised or under any system of deferred payment. The person who buys goods for re-sale or for commercial purpose is not a consumer under the ‘Consumer Protection Act 1986’.

Every consumer has the right to safety, right to be informed, right to representation, right to choose, right to be heard, right to seek redressal and the right to consumer education

Right to safety: It means a consumer has the right to safety against such goods and services as are hazardous to his/her health and life and property. For example, spurious and substandard drugs, appliances made of low quality raw material, such as electric press, pressure cooker, etc. and low quality food products like bread, milk, jam, butter, etc. The consumer has the right to safety against the loss caused by such products.

Right to be informed: A consumer has the right to be provided with all the information on the basis of which he/she decides to buy goods or services. Such information relates to quality, purity, potency, standard, date of manufacture, method of use, etc of the commodity. Thus a producer is required to provide all such information in a proper manner, so the consumer is not cheated.

Right to Choose: A consumer has the absolute right to buy any goods or services of his/her choice from among the different goods or services available in the market. In other words, no seller can influence his/her choice in an unfair manner. If any seller does so, it will be deemed as interference in his/her right to choice

Right to be heard: A consumer has the right that his/her complaint be heard. Under this right the consumer can file a complaint against all those things which are prejudicial to his/her interest. These days several large organizations have set up Consumer Service Cells with a view to providing the consumer the right to be heard. The function of the cell is to hear the complaints of the consumers and to take adequate measures to redress them. Many daily newspapers have also special columns to entertain the complaints for the consumers.

Right to Seek redressal: This right provides compensation to the consumers against unfair trade practice of the seller. For instance, if the quantity and quality of the product do not conform to those promised by the seller, the buyer has the right to claim compensation.

Right to consumer Education: This right refers to educating the consumer constantly with regard to their rights. In other words, consumers must be aware of the rights they enjoy against the loss they suffer on account of goods and services purchased by them.

Consumer Protection Act, 1986

The law that is enacted to protect and promote the interest of consumers in India is called ‘The Consumer Protection Act, 1986’. Its main objective is to provide speedy and simple redressal to consumer disputes. It is a quasi-judicial machinery set up at the district, State and Central levels. These quasi-judicial bodies have to observe the principles of natural justice and have been empowered to give relief of a specific nature and to award, wherever appropriate, compensation to consumers.

The main Consumer Disputes Redressal Agencies are: (1) A Consumer Disputes Redressal Forum, which is known as “District Forum,” established by the State Government in every District; (2) a Consumer Disputes Redressal Commission, which is known as the “State Commission,” established by the State Government in every State; (3) A National Consumer Disputes Redressal Commission established by the Central Government.

The District Forum shall entertain complaints where the value of the goods or services and the compensation, if any claimed, does not exceed rupees twenty lakh.

The State Commission can entertain complaints where the value of the goods or services and compensation, if any claimed, exceeds rupees twenty lakh but does not exceed rupees one crore.

The National Commission shall entertain complaints where the value of the goods or services and compensation claimed exceeds rupees one crore and appeals against the orders of any State Commission and to do all proceedings in the interest of justice.

            Every complaint filed should be accompanied with required amount of fee. On receipt of a complaint the District Forum may by order allow the complaint to be proceeded with or rejected. But the Form should give an opportunity to the Complainant to be heard before rejecting the complaint if do so.

Appeal lies from all these bodies within thirty days, such as from District Forum to State Commission, from State Commission to National Commission and from National Commission to Supreme Court.

            The law punishes “Unfair trade Practice”. It is a trade practice which, for the purpose of promoting the sale, uses or supplies any goods or any service, adopts any unfair method or unfair or deceptive practice including any service: (1) Falsely represents that the goods are of a particular standard, quality, quantity, grade, composition, style or mode;  (2) Falsely represents that the services are of a particular standard, quality or grade; (3) Falsely represents any re-built, second-hand, renovated, re-conditioned or old goods as new goods;  (4) Represents that the goods or services have sponsorship, approval, performance, characteristics, accessories, uses or benefits which such goods or services do not have; (5) Represents that the seller or the supplier has a sponsorship or approval or affiliation which such seller or supplier does not have; (6) Makes a false or misleading representation concerning the need for, or the usefulness of , any goods or services; (7)Gives to the public any warranty or guarantee of the performance, efficacy or length of life of a product or of any goods that is not based on an adequate or proper test, etc.

Bases on the above law, the consumer has the right to open and see the commodity to know whether there is any damage before paying. “Goods once sold will not be taken back” has no serious legal stand, because we find it on the bill only after paying the amount or purchasing the commodity.

However, the consumer has to exercise and claim his/her right.

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Advocate-Sister Jessy Kurien SAP practices in the Supreme Court, Delhi. She belongs to the Congregation of the Sisters of St. Anne of Providence.

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The UN has been proposing seventeen Sustainable Developmental Goals. They are goals worth supporting and worth working for.

Pope Francis has been repeatedly asking everyone, especially members of religious orders, to move to the “peripheries” or margins—to the forgotten groups, the neediest, the most persecuted, the least powerful.

He has been a personal witness of such concern for those at the margins—refugees, migrants, unemployed people, the sick, the poor. At the Holy Thursday ceremony, for instance, he washed the feet of refugees, including Muslims.

On his visit to the capital of the world’s wealthiest country—Washington, D.C.—there was a dinner for the poor.

At Mother Teresa’s canonization, 1500 poor people and the infirm were given preferential seating, and a meal.

His own simple life is well-known and a challenge to all of us. As a bishop, he lived in a slum, travelled by public transport, and cooked his meals. That simple and loving life continues today, when he is head of the 1.3 billion strong Catholic Church.

HOW DO WE, ESPECIALLY RELIGIOUS AND PRIESTS, REACH OUT TO THE PERIPHERIES TODAY?

1. Moving to the peripheries: Points to ponder

1. Which groups and persons get priority in our ministry—the poor, the middle class or the rich?
2. On which group do we lavish most attention?
3. For which group’s needs do we mostly train our younger members?
4. Does living and working among the poor form an integral part of our formation?
5. Who are seen and treated as “VIPs” in the province or congregation—those holding top posts, those brining in money, those with prestigious degrees, or those working among the poor?
6. Do ministries at the peripheries—street children, prisoners, victims of trafficking, AIDS patients, orphans, …–get adequate personnel and financial support?
7. Are they treated as equal in importance to schools, colleges, hospitals, etc?
8. Do most members long to work among the poor and disadvantaged, or look for positions with power and money?
9. Does our own life-style bear witness to being a “poor church at the service of the poor”?
10. Are the poorer people in our own settings—maids, drivers, gardeners, cooks, etc—treated justly and with respect?

2. Moving to the peripheries: Points to ponder

1. Which persons or groups would belong to the “peripheries” in our setting?
2. Which groups or persons are the neediest today?
3. Who are the most deprived and discriminated against?

3.The three grounds for discrimination:

1. Money: Who are neediest and most deprived financially?
2. Gender: Are women treated with respect and justice in your setting? Do you know women or girls deprived or their rights or treated unjustly? Any particular group suffering unjust treatment because of their gender? (e.g., widows, trafficked girls and women, girls deprived of education, domestic workers, sexually abused women and girls, women sexually harassed at work, women paid lower wages,…)
3. Ethnicity: The third reason for exclusion and ill-treatment is ethnicity (the group a person is born into): examples would be race, caste, tribe, etc. Thus a person can be treated as inferior, or persecuted, or even killed, through no personal fault, but simply for being a member of a particular group. People get ill-treated, insulted, deprived of jobs, tortured or killed for belonging to a particular nation, or religion, or race, or caste or tribe or language group. In your setting, does such exclusion or ill-treatment take place? Against which groups?

4. Building a Better World

1. Indicate persons or movements or institutions that put the interests of the weakest at the centre of their concern.
2. How are they reaching out to those at the peripheries, and bringing them in?

5. From comfort zones to the peripheries:

1. Ways in which I can move from my “comfort zones” and personal ambitions to reach out to those at the margins:
2. My concrete action plans will include (tick or underline the options you will practice):

• Setting aside a percentage of my income to helping those at the margins
• Devoting ….. hours every week to helping them (coaching, feeding, visiting, washing, etc)
• Learning more about the struggles of the poor
• Cutting down on luxuries to raise funds for the poor
• Supporting or joining organizations that serve the needy
• Donating blood, and promoting blood donation
• Becoming an organ donor and promoting organ donation
• Treating the poor and the weak in my setting with respect and justice
• Speaking up when people are discriminated against or ill-treated because of poverty, gender or ethnicity
• Starting each day with plans to do at least three good deeds that day.

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– Fr. Joe Mannath SDB

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Kavitha’s Story:

My name is Kavitha (name is changed). I was born in a good, God-fearing family with two elder brothers and one younger sister. My great dream was to study well and to become a college professor. In 1993, I managed to join the college and started studying. It was then a twist suddenly happened in my life. I had just turned nineteen, when my father arranged a marriage for me. I was forced to get married to a business man.

In the beginning everything went well. A few years later, to everyone’s surprise, my husband was often getting sick and becoming rapidly thin, weak, with constant cold and cough. My family members asked my husband to get tested for tuberculosis. He refused to seek any medical assistance. My father-in-law, the village headman, had to be operated for cancer and was in need of blood. My husband was asked to give blood, which he refused. Under family pressure, he finally agreed to do it. It was then confirmed that he was HIV-positive, which he knew already, but disclosed to no one, not even to me, his wife. He did not care to take precautionary steps to protect me from infection. Instead, he tried to self-medicate with “medicine” from a fake doctor.

Next year, my husband was tested again, and this time, the doctor told my father that my husband had AIDS (Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome) and that, without proper treatment, he would die within two months. He also told him to bring me to the hospital for a test.

My husband died two months later. I was tested twice within six weeks and proved to be positive both times. Unfortunately, I was not told that my husband had AIDS and died of it. Likewise, I never knew that I myself was a HIV positive. My husband kept everything secret, but at the same time he allowed his family to blame me for his illness.

After my husband’s death, my mother-in-law blamed me for her son’s death and spread the rumour that I was possessed by an evil spirit which was haunting the entire family. One day my mother-in-law told me that I would be taken to a pujari (a Hindu priest) to cast out the devil from me. My mother-in-law kept on accusing that I was the cause of her son’s death and she did not want to lose her husband too. I was in a predicament and felt totally helpless. If I did not obey her, I would be forced to leave her house immediately. However, I refused to go to a pujari and I decided to return to my family.

Fortunately, my father welcomed me back into our home. One day by chance I found my test report in my father’s bag. Imagine my shock when I discovered that HIV positive. I will not be able to tell you how deep and intense my feelings were when I read that report. My initial reaction was one of outrage at my husband, who knowingly infected me, then at my mother-in-law who accused me of being possessed by an evil spirit. For months together I shed tears day and night. I was unable to accept my tragic lot. The greatest pain that I underwent was the fear of rejection that I had to face from all sides. Often I asked: “Why, O God?” “Why me?” But I found no answer.

In times of despair and hopelessness, fear and rejection, it was my own family which gave me courage and hope. With the support and concern of my family members, I underwent treatment and today I continue to live. Whenever there is a chance, I share my painful experience with others and say, “This illness is not caused by the devil or evil spirits but by human beings who are devils or evil spirits in disguise.”

AIDS: Medical Facts

AIDS is one of the most feared illnesses in human history and has affected many in different parts of the world, including India. The first case of AIDS in India was detected in Chennai, Tamil Nadu, in the year 1986. In 2011, twenty-four years later, according to an estimate from the National HIV Sentinel Surveillance, 2.4 million Indians were HIV-positive.

AIDS has a unique impact on women, which has been exacerbated by their role within society and because of their biological vulnerability to HIV infection.  An article written by R.K Verma & T.K. Roy on, “HIV Risk Behavior and the Socio-Cultural Environment,” states that a majority of women have no risk factor other than being married to their husbands.

 

The figure depicts the status of the different modes of HIV transmission in India in 2012-13: heterosexual contacts (88.2 %), mother to child (5%), homosexual contacts (1.5 %), blood and blood products (1%), injecting syringe and needles (1.7%), and not specified (2.7 %).

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Research on Women Affected by AIDS

Persons suffering from AIDS need medicines, financial support and proper food, of course. These supports in the physical area are a must.

My research focused on the spiritual helps that support women affected by AIDS, and what difference they make, in the eyes of the patients and of the care-givers. For this, I carried out two types of study—a quantitative study that gathered data from six hundred women who were HIV-positive and three hundred care-givers, and a qualitative approach that provided more detailed data from sixty patients and thirty care-givers. Interviews and group discussions were gathered to get detailed information.

This study shows that spiritual support does make a significant difference in the lives of the HIV-positive women, as well as in the care-givers. Hence the need of such helps, in addition to the medical, nutritive and other physical helps that the patients need.(this red sentence may be removed) AIDS affects not just the person’s body, but one’s self-perception, emotions and attitude. The patients has to deal with one’s own intense negative emotions, rejection and condemnation of others, and find the inner strength to deal with a fatal disease and its complicated and heavy social implications.

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Shame, Sorrow, Fear

Talking of the emotional side, women affected with AIDS experience feelings of profound shame, loneliness, unhappiness, humiliation, pain, and grief. Social stigma, rejection, and stress lead several of them to suicidal attempts too. Fears related to the illness include that of dying a slow and painful death leaving their children behind, and harming their family’s reputation. A number of patients report feelings of anger, victimization and powerlessness. Here are some sample responses:

“Although it’s not my fault that I am being affected with this illness, yet I experience intense shame when I go for treatment. ”In the beginning, I couldn’t forgive myself for getting HIV.”“I felt compassion towards other HIV-positive women, regardless of what led them to their infection, but I could not find it for myself.”

Another woman said, “I will not be able to tell you how deep and intense was my sorrow when I was told that I was a HIV-positive.  I could not face anybody, because anyone who looks at my face will be able to read my sorrow. Slowly I picked up courage and began to trust in God. I just started telling God, “Let this illness be over with me and die with me. I do not want anyone else to be affected with this dreadful disease. No one should suffer like me. Whatever good I can do, I want to do it for others. In spite of my illness, I want to be happy as long as I am alive”.

A few others said, “Why should I feel guilt or remorse? I did not make any mistake. The only mistake that I made is getting married. If I had done something wrong, then I need to feel guilty and I need to make reparation. My conscience is very clear and clean.” Or: “I am not guilty of having done anything wrong. I am at peace. But I am disturbed by the behaviour of my husband. I am praying to God for my husband that he many realize his mistakes and not accuse me falsely in order to hide his sins”; “I did not do any mistake. I was very faithful to my husband. Should the disease be a reward for being faithful to him? Sometime this illness fills my mind with guilt and fear”.

Another woman told me, “I was so scared of getting the blood test results. I did not know how to face the diagnosis. I prayed, ‘My God I want to run away and die.’ I just have to wait. Wait for virus level results, T-Cell results, results for everything. The waiting is killing me….. Still, the shock of discovering my status is something I would never wish on my worst enemy. I thought my life is over… In fact, I started thinking of ways I could end my life. Many times I attempted suicide. The fact of dying and its consequences created lot of fear in me. Just then, I thought of mychildren, and a ray of hope dawned in my mind. From then onwards, I pray to God to spare me.”

Four Facts to be Aware of

Here are four facts we all need to be aware of:

1. Although AIDS is the final and most serious stage of HIV disease, which causes severe damage to the immune system, people should know that HIV/AIDS does not spread through casual contact, socializing or living with people with HIV/ AIDS, and caring and looking after them. Major modes of transmission of the HIV virus are through sexual contact, blood transfusions or needle sharing, and from mother with HIV/AIDS to child. Other transmission methods are accidental needle injury, artificial insemination with donated semen, and through a donated organ. Today there are medical treatments that can slow down the rate at which HIV weakens the immune system and that can prevent or cure some of the illnesses associated with HIV disease. While AIDS is a high-risk disease, it can be prevented if proper precautions are taken and greater awareness provided to those who are ignorant.
2. The prevalence of fostered myths, false beliefs, and secrecy spell disastrous implications not only for the spread of HIV/AIDS, but also in the way it is confronted. Over and above the physiological effects of the disease, there are a number of misconceptions and prejudices that lead to persons living with HIV/AIDS being abused, misunderstood, and ostracized from the family and the society.
3. Many persons living with HIV/AIDS are either reluctant or refuse to seek help and support due to extraordinary levels of stigma, discrimination, and rejection.
4. Women are rendered more vulnerable, due to lack of knowledge and control over their body. HIV infections often occur within marriage or long-term relationships. India’s complicated social norms and conservative attitudes towards women make it harder to address this challenge. Although women feel powerless to protect themselves from infection.

Steps we need to take

Here are five concrete ways in which the family members, church authorities, members of religious orders and other people of good will can care for those affected and infected by this grave sickness.

• It is important that we religious and priests educate
  people to a realistic understanding of this sickness,
  helping them to get rid of all those unwanted and unnecessary pseudo trappings that surround/around it, especially associating it with demonic possession and the like. A good and sustained awareness on AIDS is still something needed at all levels. There are still people in this era who think that such sicknesses are a curse from God.
• The prevalence of HIV/AIDS offers us an opportunity to overcome our differences, based on region, religion, culture and politics and to work together on a response that will turn the surge and curse of this pandemic. We are all equals in front of this sickness! Since religious leaders shape people’s
  feelings and vision, their involvement and participation in HIV and AIDS prevention and care programmes becomes absolutely essential. They could provide the much needed social support and counselling.
• Although there are a number of agents, groups and organizations providing care to persons living with HIV/AIDS, the care by the family is unique and indispensable, because it is often family members that individuals with HIV/AIDS turn to for help and support. Therefore, the family members must accept them unconditionally and provide them holistic care.
• As a community of faith we need to take the unusual step of setting up a working group that scales up action against the spread of HIV/AIDS and also renders caring services to those living with HIV/AIDS. We need to treat them with respect and dignity and accept them whole-heartedly like any other persons living with any other disease, expressing our greater social support and emotional health.
• Finally, we need to join hands with the people of various religious organizations and communities of faith in providing refuge, care and support for people living with HIV/AIDS and those suffering from stigma and discrimination, hatred and rejection, loneliness and indifference in society. In order to overcome HIV, we need also to address the underlying social determinants, such as poverty, women’s oppression and gender inequity.

Given the intense emotional and social impact of AIDS, the sufferers need more than medicine and food, they need loving support, understanding and helps to tap their inner, spiritual resources.

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– Sr. D.J. Margaret FMA holds a Post-Graduate Degree in Mathematics, a Master’s Degree in Theology and a Ph.D. in Christian Studies. In addition to research articles in the field of women studies, she has authored Women in Mission (Chennai: Arumbu Publications, 2006). E-mail: djmagifma@gmail.com.

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WHO I BECOME:

The main decision in life is not about which group to join (priesthood, religious life, marriage, etc.), or which profession to enter, but about the kind of person I want to become:

A friend once told me: “You are busy with many things. Is that what is most important for you? Do you think of the kind of person you want to become by the time you die? Isn’t that the most important thing in life?”

It certainly is.

I can be a saint or a crook in any setting. There is nothing great or wonderful about just being a priest or religious or lay professional. What really matters is: What kind of a person do I want to be? Do I give this all-important central question due time and attention?

Who I become matters much more than what I do, which group I belong to, or what titles I accumulate.

A layman I admire greatly was told by a friend of many years: “I have been observing you for years. Whenever I praised you for something, you always gave the credit to someone else. What if I tell you: You are the finest human being I have ever come across?”

Wouldn’t it be great if such a compliment could be sincerely given to us?

MOST BASIC CHOICE:

This central decision involves a basic choice: to love or not to love.

The kind of person I want to become depends mostly on cultivating a basic attitude: to be loving and to be selfish—to truly care for others, or to make use of people for my selfish ends.

As a friend once told me when I was busy writing: “At the end of your life God will not ask you how many books you wrote, but how much you loved!”

In fact, what makes a vocational choice—e.g., to become a religious or a priest or doctor or teacher—good is whether it is taken out of love. Am I here to love and serve people, to respond to God’s love, or to have a self-centred or fear-centred life?

Those who choose celibacy need to remember: Love is a must; celibacy is not. Being loving is more important than holding special titles (Bishop, Father, Sister, etc.).

Fr Pascual Chavez SDB, former superior general of the Salesians, used to remind his communities, “Perseverance is not the same as fidelity.” That is: Just staying in is not an achievement. If all I do is to stay in a marriage or a religious order or priesthood, that is nothing meaningful. If I am becoming a more loving person in this setting, great!

RESPONSIBILITY FOR HAPPINESS:

Becoming a happy person is my personal responsibility.

No setting can make me happy. I can be happy or unhappy in any place or profession.

Neither marriage, nor celibacy, nor the priesthood, nor belonging to any particular group will make a person happy. Others can do things for me, can make my life easier or harder, but they cannot give me something called happiness.

Sheila, a young working woman, suffers from painful health problems, financial constraints and unloving treatment in her marriage. Yet she says: “I have decided to be happy.” She realizes that it is not in her power to change her husband’s character or several other conditions in her work and family. But it is in her control to decide whether to let external circumstances make her unhappy or not.

Do I take responsibility for my happiness? Or, am I waiting for others to make me happy?

Am I generally a happy person—or am I waiting for some special occasion to be happy?

When I find I am not happy, do I take steps to come out of it and find my path to happiness?

 FORMING MYSELF:

I form myself. Others can help me, but they cannot form me. They can influence me; they cannot make me a good or bad person

A priest I had taught in the seminary said this about formation: “Father, already when I was in the seminary, I was convinced that you superiors cannot form us; we form ourselves.”

So true. The main agent of formation is the person in formation. This is true in a family or seminary or convent. Others can tell us good things, correct us, guide us; but no one can make me good.

I form myself into the kind of person I want to become through the choices I make.

Just because my parents are good, does not mean that I will be good. Just because someone’s father was a drunkard does not mean that the sons will be drunkards.

Every human being retains the inner freedom to make choices, to become the person one really wants to become. This is the mystery of the human heart.

HELP FROM OTHERS:

In forming myself, I am helped by others

God places many persons on our path, all through life, right from our conception and birth to the time we die. We owe much to many.

Of these, our family is the first and probably the most influential. Much of our formation is over by the time we come to the seminary or the novitiate or college. Our deeper traits are picked up at home—honesty, sense of God, compassion towards the poor, sense of justice, humour, respect for people, the dignity of women, …

After our family, come our close friends. Those we are closest to, influence our values. If my closest friends are persons of integrity, it says much about me and about what I seek. If they are gossips, I too will tend to gossip more easily.

Thirdly (and only thirdly!), we are influenced by our religious order or seminary or college and similar structured helps we receive: talks, books, retreats, community prayers, life of the founder/foundress, etc.

Fourthly, other people and events: can influence us—even a stranger in a bus, or someone we read about.

There are so many teachers around us the whole time. Every day. In every place. Helps are available in plenty—if I am open to receiving.

What I do with what others offer, is the main thing. And that, once again, is my choice.

EAGLE OR DUCK?

Eagles fly alone; ducks in flocks!

If all I want is to float and say “Quack! Quack!” I will have plenty of company.

If I simply follow the majority—gossiping or being biased, doing the minimum, or telling lies, repeating others’ words rather than thinking for myself—I will be surrounded by crowds of other mediocrities. The majority are mediocre, passive, easily manipulated.

If, instead, I want to follow worthwhile dreams, make a difference, and do something meaningful with my life, I need to face aloneness. Heroes and saints are not mass-produced! A heart-felt passion—not the crowds—will light up my life.

Changes are never brought about by the majority. Great things are achieved by committed individuals and small groups.

The ancient Greeks used to put it this way: “A thousand mediocre geometers will not make one Euclid.”

Do I want to strive for the stars or wallow in mud?

Do I want to discover the best that lies hidden in me and in others, and construct something beautiful—or sit down and grumble?

What difference will my life make?

What will I do today that will make the world around more beautiful and more human?

Do I want to fly, or just float?

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-Jeff T. Manning

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He was the first Catholic priest to be arrested in the U.S. for leading protests against the Vietnam War and the nuclear weapons of the U.S. government.Later he was arrested hundreds of times in protests against war and nuclear weapons. He spent nearly two years of his life in prison. Time magazine featured him on its cover, and he was repeatedly nominated for the Nobel peace prize.  A Jesuit priest, he was also an award-winning poet and a prolific writer who authored more than 50 books. Fr Daniel Berrigan, SJ, died in New York on 30 April this year. He was 94.

Dan, as his friends called him, was born on 09 May 1921 in Virginia, Minnesota, U.S. After his schooling, he joined the Jesuits, and after his formation, was ordained a priest in 1952. In 1953 he travelled to France for a training programme that Jesuits call ‘Tertianship’ and there he met ‘the worker priests’ who must have made him see a totally new dimension of priesthood. When he taught New Testament at Le Moyne College, Syracuse, he founded the ‘International House’ for students who wanted to show their solidarity with the poor of the ‘third world.’

His younger brother, Philip Berrigan, was an equally committed and courageous activist and anti-war protestor. Later Philip left priesthood and married, but continued to live the life of an activist till the end. When Dan wanted to join his brother in 1963, his Jesuit superiors did not permit him to do so. He went to France and other European countries and South Africa on a sabbatical.

When he returned he began to oppose the U.S. involvement in Vietnam War and co-founded Catholic Peace Fellowship. A retreat he made along with his brother and other friends in 1964 became a turning point. The retreat was directed by the renowned monk and spiritual writer, Thomas Merton in his Trappist monastery in Kentucky, called Abbey of Gethsemani. The Berrigans, as well as Merton, resolved to advocate Christian peacemaking and so launch a crusade, through writing and speaking, against war and the nuclear weapons. Writing in one of his books about meeting Dan Berrigan, Merton referred to him as “an altogether winning and warm intelligence and a man who, I think, has, more than anyone I have ever met, the true wide-ranging and simple heart of the Jesuit: zeal, compassion, understanding and uninhibited religious freedom. Just seeing him restores one’s hope in the church.”

In 1965, he co-founded ‘Clergy and Laity Concerned about Vietnam’ with the well-known Jewish Rabbi Abraham Heschel. On 22 Oct1967, Berrigan was arrested for the first time with hundreds of students protesting the Vietnam War at the Pentagon, when the U.S. government was engaged in mobilizing the youth to fight in the war. What he did the next year made him known all over the world. On 17 May 1968, along with his brother and eight others, he burned draft files at Catonsville, Maryland. The media coverage of the event  ignited anti war protests all over the country.

He and his friends called such protests ‘Plowshares actions.’ Why Plowshares? ‘Plowshares’ is the way Americans spell ‘Ploughshares.’ And the reference is to the Biblical prophecy that declares there will be no more war. Isaiah 2:4 says, “He will judge between the nations and will settle disputes for many peoples. They will beat their swords into ploughshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore.”

He published in 1957 his first book of poetry, Time without Number, which won Lamont poetry award. Since then he kept publishing one or two books of poetry or prose every year. From 1965 till about 10 years ago he was speaking against violence and war at least once a week somewhere in the U.S.

If we want to understand why Berrigan chose to live this way, it is enough to look at what he said during his trial in 1981: “The only message I have to the world is: We are not allowed to kill innocent people.We are not allowed to be complicit in murder. ‘Thou shalt not kill.’” When an underground group of revolutionaries who opposed wars that U.S. was responsible for began to blow up buildings and indulge in violence, Berrigan wrote: “The death of a single human is too heavy a price to pay for the vindication of any principle, however sacred.” Because of the inevitable loss of hundreds of innocent lives in a war, he held that no war can ever be just and so called the Church to abandon its ‘just war’ theory and return to the non-violence of Jesus.

John Dear, another well-known priest-activist, said in an obituary, “All along I considered him one of the most important religious figures of the last century, right alongside with Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Thomas Merton, Dorothy Day and his brother, Philip… I consider him not just a legendary peace activist, but one of the greatest saints and prophets of modern times.”

When Dan Berrigan’s funeral Mass began on 06 May, the audience sang, “We’re gonna lay down our swords and shields, down by the riverside…We’re gonna study war no more!”

In the light of this Berrigan candle, we need to remind ourselves that if we are followers of Jesus, we ought to be peacemakers. If we are, we will be blessed, because we will be children of God(“Blessed are the peacemakers…”Mt 5:9). But in our homes or communities, how often do we indulge in violence – physical or verbal?  In our parishes, dioceses and congregations how many of us keep creating conflicts and destroying unity and peace – for power or profit, exploiting language or caste, race or region?

 

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-Fr M.A. Joe Antony, SJ is at present editor, Jivan, the magazine of South Asian Jesuits and the executive secretary of and advisor to the  Provincial Superior of Jesuits in Tamil Nadu. For 20 years he edited the New Leader and gave it a new life and reputation.

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Two ways of living and loving: beautiful, demanding, fruitful. Not in competition, but showing two aspects of God’s love. Each has much to give to, and receive from, the other.

Fr Joe Mannath SDB

“The best advice I have heard about marriage is a simple sentence my husband told me on the day of our wedding,” Annie, a wife and mother in her fifties told me. “The reception was over. We both were on the stage. My husband turned to me and said: ‘During the party, waiters came around with nice things on a plate. We simply had to stretch our hand and pick it up. Marriage is different. Let’s remember that happiness will not be served us on a plate. We both will have to work for it.’ This is so true. I fully agree with what he said.”

The same is true about celibate life. Joining a convent or seminary will not assure my happiness—or my becoming a good and loving human being.

We find wonderfully inspiring and radiantly happy persons in both walks of life.

We can find cruel, crooked and deeply unhappy people in both groups.

It is not marriage or celibacy that makes a person good or happy or holy.

Let’s have a look at both paths.

Both paths are meaningful and beautiful—if lived well.

And awful if lived badly.

Both need to face disillusionment and let-downs.

Both need the support of faith, and good human beings to lean on and learn from.

They are not in competition, nor one above the other. They are paths of life meant to be walked in love.

Here is a frank look at both.

MARRIAGE

George and Edith are a couple who inspired many. George, a teacher, would also take classes on marriage for young pre-nuptial couples. One thing he would always tell them: “Marriage is not a fifty-fifty arrangement. It has to be a hundred-hundred commitment.”

“What does that mean, George?” I ask him.

“See, Father, marriage is not like a business contract. In business, one partner can say: ‘I contribute 50 percent, and you put in the other 50. This is my job; that is yours.’ In a marriage, we cannot think like that. Each of us has to give oneself one hundred percent. There are times when I am down or weak, and Edith has to carry the whole burden. Other times, I have to take the whole hundred percent. Only this way will a marriage work.”

So true, isn’t it?

In a marriage, two persons,  very different in temperament, upbringing and tastes, have to learn to love and adjust to each other the rest of their life. This 24-hour, 365-days adjustment is far from easy. It is wonderful if both adjust, forgive, see the positive, find inner strength and make huge efforts to put love above one’s ego. If not, it can really become hell. Because of the constant closeness and the intensity of feelings involved, marriage can really feel like heaven or have the tone of hell.

 The Key Factor

One key word can summarize what distinguishes marriage from celibacy. That word is ATTACHMENT. A man or woman becomes deeply attached to one’s spouse and children. There is hardly any human emotion that can match the intensity of man-woman love and parental tenderness. [photo of a family with hildren]

Anna Maria said this about her husband’s sudden death: “I didn’t want to live. I thought my pain would drive me mad. Thank God a grand-child was born soon after; that prevented me from going crazy.”

Margaret, a middle-aged religious sister, shared this: “I asked my mom once, when she was already old, ‘Mom, do you remember the time a car was about to hit me, and you jumped in front of that car to save me?’ My mother replied, ‘No, I don’t. But I would be ready to do that for any of my children.”

This is what parental love does to a human being. It makes a man or woman care for another human being even more intensely than for oneself.

For Lara, a really transforming experience happened when her sister adopted a baby. The child was brought home, and family members were holding the kid. Lara said she knew that day the meaning of the expression, “dearer than life.” That is how she felt when she held the baby in her arms.

This intense attachment has strong and beautiful results. Let me list four.

Four Fruits

The first is DEDICATION. We can see this in the way a husband or wife puts the needs and comforts of the spouse above one’s own, and loving attention to children. Parents work for children every day, for years, often in the face of coldness, ingratitude and many hardships. The typical mother or father puts in longer hours to raise their children than a factory worker does for payment. In our early years, we depended on them literally twenty-four hours of the day—for everything. As a young mother once said—when I pointed out to her that she had not had her breakfast, although it was almost noon—“Being a mother means that your own needs come last.”

The second is COMMITMENT: Husbands and wives, parents and children, can count on each other—in health and in sickness, in wealth and in poverty, in youth and in old age. I remember the intense devotion with which my mother looked after my father, especially in his last illness. Committed people find an inner source of energy that physical health alone cannot explain. That is what Philo found when her husband was in semi-ICU for eight days. She sat or stood next to him for all those eight days. I asked her, “How did you manage without lying down for eight days?” She said, “I do not know. I think that, when we are in need, God gives us the strength.”

This commitment—being there for someone who can count on us with absolute certainty—gives children (and, later, grown-ups) emotional security. The strongest basis for our emotional security is the committed love and care we received at home when we were children.

The third fruit of healthy attachment is SACRIFICE. In fact, making sacrifices becomes such a “normal” part of family life that people do not speak about it. It is generally taken for granted. Gerard, by no means a soft or sentimental man, once told a group, “I am ready to expose myself to any danger without hesitation, to protect any of my children.”

A couple I used to visit and bring Holy Communion to, really impressed me. Tom was 98; Annie, 93. She would pray to God not to let her die before him, “otherwise, Tom won’t be able to look after himself.” Impressed by the way this frail 93-year-old woman looked after her still older and weaker husband, I told her one day, “Annie, I am really edified to see the way you look after Tom.” Do you know her answer? It was the summary of a good marriage. She said, “I am sure he would have done the same for me.”

A fourth result of mutual family attachment is PRAYER. Don’t we all have lovely memories of our parents praying—for the children, for sick members of the family, for special intentions? For many of us, priests and religious, the most moving examples of prayer have come from our parents and other family members. Married people pray, not as a result of novitiates or seminars or long retreats, but moved by two deep experiences—love and hardships. Love for a husband or wife, love for a sick or troubled or wayward son or daughter, makes a father and mother run to God in heart-felt prayer. So, too, hardships of life push people to the limits of their resources, and they take hold of the Lord’s hands or feet in humble prayer.

The Pitfalls

This beautiful picture, is, alas, not what most marriages are!

The following vices can creep into marriage and turn it into a dark prison, or worse. To make retention easier, I shall use four words beginning with the letter ‘A’—addictions, avarice, attachments, aggression.

Addictions: An addiction is anything that has become stronger than my good will. I feel almost powerless to resist. Thus, more marriages are ruined by alcoholism than by infidelity. For the alcoholic, the drink comes first—not spouse or children, not peace or honour. Or—to quote a true case—a man was so addicted to gambling that he would gamble away his wife’s whole salary in one evening or two. A person can get addicted to different things—to alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, shopping, TV, Internet (including pornography), gossip… The addict often does not recognize the damage being done, or does not want to admit it; but others can see it clearly. Addictions need to be faced and tackled head on. Tolerating addictions or treating them as a joke, or pretending they don’t exist will not work.

Avarice: Behind the wide-spread corruption we complain about in public life, is avarice—the greed to have more. The greedy person never feels he/she has enough. One feels an almost insatiable desire to have more—to have more money, to possess the better gadget, to own the costlier car, to live in the bigger house. Abraham, an officer known for his upright life, had this conviction, “Nobody feels he has enough money. When we earn Rs 10,000, we think we will be fine if we earned Rs 20,000. And the one earning a lakh is looking at the fellow who makes three lakhs and wanting that…The only way to be happy is to be content with what we have.”

One result of avarice is the reluctance to help or share. You may know richer persons who refuse to do charity, to lend or give money to poorer people, or even to pay just wages to their workers. Accumulating wealth is what interests them, not helping others with their money.

More fights and divisions in families are caused by money matters and disagreements on property and finances than by practically any other single factor. Love of money can also make a spouse put down the other for earning less, or measure people’s worth by the wealth they have.

One of the essential things a married couple needs to learn is to how to manage money—without either greed or neglect.

Attachments:

I said earlier that the specific trait of married and parental love is attachment. Then, why am I mentioning it among the pitfalls?

The human heart is fickle and easily misled. I can get attached to other people and get closer to them than I am to my spouse or children. Such attachments can lead to infidelity. Or I can get attached to my comfort, pleasure or preferences. Thus, a man may want his wife to cook the food that he likes, or she may insist on travelling to the places she prefers to visit. Some are very attached to their possessions, or to luxury. These attachments can easily become a millstone around our neck and pull us down to our doom.

David, known to family members as a very loving man, shared this conviction, “the toughest challenge in marriage is to overcome our ego, and to truly love our wife and children. If we are honest, we will admit that our ego is the biggest hurdle. We make ourselves the centre.”

Aggression:

Violence in families is, sadly, commoner than we would want to believe.

There are married female lecturers and secretaries and cooks coming to work, trying to hide the marks left by the beating received from the husband. Wife-beating occurs in more homes than we think.

Verbal aggression is even more prevalent. As a marriage counsellor half-humorously put it, “In the first year, he speaks, and she listens; in the second year, she speaks, and he listens; in the third year, both speak (shout!), and the neighbours listen!”

Angry words and bouts of silence are often the fruit of misunderstandings, lack of communication, or minor hurts which are not addressed and handled. Often, accumulated irritations can lead to a huge and loud flare-up.

Thus, an over-worked wife or mother, who feels ignored and taken for granted, can reach the end of her tether, and suddenly burst out in anger, or burst into bitter tears, or become severely depressed.

Or a man may take out on his wife and children the anger he has accumulated at work, where he cannot shout back at his boss.

Or shouting can be a way of avoiding a real discussion of issues.

CELIBATE LIFE

A much misunderstood call.

The heart of celibate life is not attachment to any human being, or to one’s religious order or diocese.

If there is a core attachment at all, it is to God’s will.

Celibacy involves saying ‘No’ to two of life’s deepest, most meaningful and most beautiful experiences—spousal love and parenthood. It would be crazy to give up these two core commitments—unless one has very good reasons for it.

Doing social service, or teaching, or medical work is no reason for choosing celibacy—or for coaxing others to be celibate.

Celibacy, to be meaningful and happy, is based on a simple and deep awareness: This is where God wants me; my heart has found what it is looking for.  This is the best way for me to express the love deep in my heart, in a way that is true to myself.  So, it is the best choice I can make.

Clara, a friend about whom I have written elsewhere, is a good case in point. Coming from a very wealthy family, and employed, and with a loving fiancé whom she was planning to marry, she experienced this “other call.” She told her boy friend, who did not understand it. She went to a convent to see for herself what religious life was, stayed for a few days, found it too hard, and went back home. She reflected for a week, and found, “Yes, I have much at home; but I do not need these things to be happy. Jesus Christ is enough for me.” She went back to the convent, and joined. Now, more than thirty-years later, she says, “I have never lost the joy of my vocation.”

I have met such celibates—sisters, brothers, priests—in different parts of the world. They are not frightened little children from over-protected families or afraid of speaking their mind in front of their superiors. They are confident, HAPPY women and men who have given themselves to a different way of loving—as real as a marriage or parental commitment, but different in expression, and hard to understand for those who do not share the same spiritual vision.

I put “happy” in capitals, because genuine celibates (like truly loving married couples) are deeply happy. They were not pushed into this by overly controlling “vocation promoters” or sent off from unhappy families. They made a choice based on the awareness of responding to a Love. This Love is true and faithful, and sustains the celibate on his or her inner and outer journeys.

Celibacy is a happy choice on four conditions—that it is based on the life and teachings of Jesus, sustained by meaningful personal prayer, leading to a loving and compassionate heart, and expressed in service.

The world, or the church, does not need many celibates. What it needs are happy and inspiring celibates, about whom the Catholic community and the rest of the world can say: “They live as Jesus lived and taught. Just seeing them helps me to become a better person, and closer to God.”

It is a well-known fact that celibate men and women have done and still do an amazing amount of inspiring service. Here is what a non-Catholic journalist writes in The New York Times:

“I am awed that so many of the selfless people serving the world’s neediest are lowly nuns and priests…overwhelmingly it’s at the grass roots that I find the great soul of the Catholic Church.

“I met Father Michael …To keep his schools alive, he persevered through civil war, imprisonment and beatings, and a smorgasbord of disease… Father Michael may be the worst-dressed priest I’ve ever seen — and the noblest…

“I met Cathy Arata, a nun from New Jersey who spent years working with battered women in Appalachia. Then she moved to El Salvador during the brutal civil war there, putting her life on the line to protect peasants. Two years ago, she came here on behalf of a terrific Catholic project called ‘Solidarity With Southern Sudan.’

“There are so many more like them. There’s Father Mario Falconi, an Italian priest who refused to leave Rwanda during the genocide and bravely saved 3,000 people from being massacred. There’s Father Mario Benedetti, a 72-year-old Italian priest based in Congo who fled with his congregation when their town was attacked by a brutal militia. Now Father Mario lives side by side with his Congolese congregants in the squalor of a refugee camp in southern Sudan, struggling to get schooling for their children.

“It’s because of brave souls like these that I honor the Catholic Church.” (Nicholas Kristof, “Who Can Mock This Church?” The New York Times, May 1, 2010.)

And there are so many other consecrated priests and religious  who, by living the Gospel of Jesus in very selfless and practical ways, walk beside the poor and needy and love them into life.  Many of us, for example, remember Sister Nirmala working among leprosy patients with so much love and evident joy.

Or Fr P. P. Louis SDB, about whom the communist party leader said, “That Father had no ego; his only concern was the good of the people.”

Or a parish priest I know who donated his kidney to save a man he was not related to.

Or sisters, brothers and priests volunteering to serve in the poorest parts of the world or in the poorest regions of our country.

Or a bishop telling us why he was not afraid staying in a violent setting where even the police were scared to enter, “I am ready to die for my people.”

Or religious and priests speaking up for the rights of the poor, and paying a heavy price for it.

Or Pope Francis, who radiates such evident love and goodness. No wonder The Washington Post wrote about him, “We like to listen to this Pope, because he speaks like Jesus, acts like Jesus, and is like Jesus.”

While the inspiring service provided by celibate women and men is undeniable, the core reason for celibacy is not social service. Its meaning can only be understood by someone who has heard the same inner Voice—the voice of God’s Spirit in the depth of their hearts.

Celibacy is neither a way of claiming to be superior to married persons, nor a way of providing hands for work. Hardly any work done in the church—in schools, hospitals, social ministries, retreat centres, media platforms—needs celibacy.

Much of the so-called “vocation promotion” going on in India seems to be attempts to find hands for work—staff for our institutions, partly resulting from our unwillingness to involve laity in administration as equals or as leaders.

Someone “roped in” to do work, may not have his/her heart in the right place. Such a person may be a “reluctant celibate,” who feels more caught or trapped in a structure, rather than called in love, to respond to a Love. A sign of reluctant celibacy (or reluctant anything) is that the person will not be happy. Unhappy people will also try to cover up the inner emptiness through power games, quest for positions and money, love of comfort and mediocrity. This, too, unfortunately, is a part of the reality of the church.  Celibacy, chosen for the wrong reasons can lead people to direct their attention mostly to the potted plants, the cat or the gold fish.  They grow into sour lemons instead of radiating the love of Jesus and his Gospel to those with whom they live and to all they encounter in their ministry.

Danger

The greatest danger in celibacy is not addictions or violence. The real danger is to live an unloving life and take it as normal. I may live under the same roof with others, go to the same chapel, share the same meals, but not really care for anyone. This can, and does, happen to a number of religious and priests. (Married couples say that the same danger is great and frequent in family life as well.)

The second danger is to make the self the centre. Since I have no children of my own to care for, nor an aged mother to look after, I may become centred on my own comfort and pleasure. My food, my sleep, my comforts and my conveniences may come first for me.

Thirdly, I may not be committed to the mission, but follow my own selfish ambitions and pursue power and money.

In fact, Sister Melanie Svoboda, an American novice mistress and writer, says that she used to warn her novices of two dangers in celibacy—that of going too far in relationships, and that of not going deep enough into relationships. The first, she says, will cause scandal, but is rare. This is not the greatest danger in celibacy. The real danger, Svoboda insists, is the second—that of living next to people without really relating. Many of us, celibates, disappoint and hurt people, not through sexual misbehavior, but through our unloving and uncaring ways. Celibacy then becomes dry, unhappy, uninspiring bachelorhood or spinsterhood. It will do more harm than good.

Helps for a Happy Celibate Life

This would be a whole book by itself. I have written more about it elsewhere. Here, let me list five absolutely essential helps:

Personal and community prayer.

Meaningful relationships.

Confidential help (counselling, spiritual direction and confession)

Learning to face solitude creatively.

Taking responsibility for one’s happiness and for the person one becomes.  

May I say something about the first of these, namely, prayer?

I said earlier that many married people are very prayerful and God-centred. Then why this special insistence on prayer for celibates?

The reason lies in the difference between these two commitments (marriage and celibacy):

Marriage, strictly speaking, does not require any faith commitment. In fact, men and women came together and formed families and raised children even before any organized religion existed. People marry and have families even if they do not practice any religion. What marriage requires is that this man and this woman want to live together, love one another into life, have children and bring them up.

Celibacy is very different. Except for a faith vision that makes this choice meaningful, why say “No” to marriage and parenthood, or propose celibacy to others? I have no right to deprive a young person of spousal love and parental life just to get some work done, e.g., teaching in a religious school.  (There are people who do not marry, and are positively engaged in society, e.g., Professor Abdul Kalam; this is not the Catholic meaning of celibacy.) What unites me and the other religious in my community is not sameness of culture or ideas or personal fondness, but our commitment to God. What makes me obey my superior is not that he is smarter, but my promise to God to do so. Without this faith vision, religious life has no basis to stand on.

Only one vocation

The Catholic Church is a very pro-marriage and pro-parenthood institution. It does not glorify bachelorhood or spinsterhood.

Celibacy is different. It is a well-discerned response of the heart to what one perceives as an inner call from God. One of the surest signs that there is such a call is a life lived out in JOY and LOVE.

This is true of both celibacy and marriage.

There is really only ONE VOCATION in the church—the call to holiness, the call to live as Jesus lived and taught. The settings differ, but that is a secondary matter. The call is the same—from the same Love, and leading to a life of love in imitation of what Jesus lived and taught.

To walk this path of life, we celibates and married people have much to learn from each other. In fact, only a man who would have made a good husband and father will be a good priest or brother. Only a woman would have been a good wife and mother can be a good nun. The same qualities are needed in both settings.

Both paths are called to find the “joy of love,” as the Pope’s recent encyclical reminds us. Finding that joy takes faith, effort, sacrifice and generous self-gift in love. As any happy married person or celibate will agree, the path is not easy, but it is worth walking on it in love. On both paths, we are sustained moment by moment by the same all-powerful Love. That Love called us into being. The same Love knows best where and how our hearts find fullness and rest. Whether married or celibate, the longings of our heart are for the Infinite; God alone can slake that thirst.

As Susan, married to Stephen, said about her marriage, “Stephen is not my first love. My first love is the Love that created me, sustains me every day, and meets me every moment.”

In both marriage and celibacy, the FIRST LOVE is the same.   It is up to each of us to decide whether marriage or consecrated celibacy is our way of responding most authentically to that First Love.

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– Fr Joe Mannath SDB

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15 points for personal and community reflection

(For religious, priests, seminarians and other committed Christians)

We have all heard—and these weeks we shall hear more—good and edifying things about Mother Teresa. Shall we check how far we personally and our community live by the Gospel ideals she took to heart so radically?

1.  Religious and Missionary Call. As a young woman, Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu responded to God’s call by joining a missionary order, taking the name of Teresa, and went to serve in far-off India.

Am I ready to serve wherever the need is greatest—or do I stick to familiar settings, or, worse, use religious life and priesthood as a career rather than as a mission?

2. “Call within a Call”: At the age of 37, Sister Teresa hears this new call—to leave the convent and live among the poorest. She seeks spiritual direction and guidance in discerning God’s will. Her priority is to do what God asks, not what others think, or simply go on doing what she was doing.

Am I simply staying and growing older in religious life (priesthood), or do I take my own personal call (to holiness and mission) seriously? What is the good God wants from me, with the gifts and opportunities He has given me?

3. Security or trust? When dead tired after a day in the slum, and without even enough money for a tram fare, she felt the “real temptation was to go back to Loretto.” (And the sisters would have taken her back). But she stuck to the harder path, without money, without helpers, without knowing what the future held.

Do I have this type of trust in God? Or do I put my trust more in money, security, connections and a comfortable life?

4. Start with those near you: Mother Teresa did not start with some grandiose plan, but with helping the neediest person near her, e.g., caring for a terribly ill Hindu pujari. She was convinced that God met her in the poorest and neediest persons around her.

Do I (we) really reach out to the neediest persons around us, or lose ourselves in endless discussions? Is my life expressed in loving service, or have I let my love wither and die?

5. Vocations: Mother Teresa did not go on aggressive “vocation promotion” campaigns. Her example drew committed followers to her, beginning with some of her former students.

Are our candidates joining because they are inspired by our example, or under the influence of high-pressure “vocation promotion” methods? Are the younger members inspired by the life of the older members?

6. Good people everywhere: Help came to Mother Teresa from all sorts of unexpected and unusual quarters: British TV personality Malcom Muggeridge; people in the Indian government; Navin Chawla, former election commissioner, who wrote a moving book about her; so many people of various faiths who helped her financially…

Is my heart open to people of all backgrounds, trusting that God can act in and through anyone? Or am I biased against persons of other faiths or backgrounds?

7. Concrete and practical: Mother Teresa would give simple, practical advice rooted in daily life: Want to build world peace? Start by loving your family members. “Peace starts with a smile.” Spend time in prayer to listen to God.

Is my spirituality simple and practical, making a difference to my life? Or made up of big theories with little connection to daily life?

8. Dark Night:  Mother Teresa endured nearly fifty years of dryness in prayer (What the mystics call, the “Dark Night of the Soul”), yet she persevered in prayer and in good works, without fail. She trusted in God and sought His will, even when she experienced God as absent. And she sought help in spiritual direction.

Am I faithful to prayer and my commitments, even when I have no feeling for it? Do I seek spiritual direction when I feel rudderless or lost, rather than neglect my inner life?

9. A pencil: During years of ill health, Mother Teresa was not anxious about herself or about the future of her work. She saw herself as a “pencil in the hand of God.” God’s work would continue, whether she was there or not. (This is a mark of all saintly founders.)

Do I look to the future with trust in God, or with anxiety? Is my main concern doing God’s will and seeking God’s guidance, or getting others to do what I want? Do I see our mission as God’s work or as my work?

10. Facing criticism: Mother Teresa was severely criticized by some well-known writers and media persons—for not challenging unjust structures, for accepting money from unsavoury characters, for not providing up-to-date medical care in her homes, etc. She did not become bitter, or try to defend herself. Nor did she stop doing what she was doing because of the criticism.

How I deal with criticism shows a lot about my character and my faith.  Do I learn from criticism, and improve, and do the good I can? Or do I stop doing good out of fear of criticism?

11. Learning from the poor: Mother Teresa said she learnt much from the poor. She saw them not as objects of pity, but as persons she loved. She mentioned how the poor help us to get closer to God. She cared; she was not patronizing.

Do I really love the poor I come across and deal with, or keep my distance? Do I only talk about the poor, or really relate to concrete poor persons?

12. A life of poverty: Mother Teresa was certainly one of the most famous persons of the twentieth century, and probably the most venerated human being in the world. But she did not seek acclaim, or the company of the powerful. She remained poor and simple, and close to the poorest. She lived the life of poverty of the poor people she served.

As we advance in our responsibilities and become “more important,” do we remain simple and poor in our life-style and relationships? Or do positions and titles go to our head?

13. Convinced and courageous: Mother Teresa was comfortable with the poorest leprosy patient and courageous to express her difference of opinion with the mighty. She would speak up for the poor in front of the world’s mightiest leaders, or express boldly her staunch rejection of abortion.

Is this how we behave—with the same respect and dignity before rich and poor, weak and strong? Or do we cringe before the powerful and humiliate the poor? Do we speak up when we need to?

14. Indian at heart: Mother Teresa took India into her heart. She did not speak of inculturation; she lived it. Beginning with her decision to wear the simple cotton sari of poor Indian women (something which foreign missionaries did not do then), eating what the poor ate, speaking their language, she truly was Indian at heart.

Do I truly love and respect the poor I work for, including their culture and values? Or do I remain an “outsider” who looks on the local people with suspicion or contempt?

15. Joy: Mother Teresa radiated joy. She was vibrant and full of life. She not only spoke of the importance of a smile; she herself was a warm and joyful presence. She insisted that God loves cheerful givers.

Do I radiate joy? Will people who meet me go away happier? Are our communities happy? Are we living witnesses to the joy that God brings us?

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Have you heard of a book called, God Exists: I Have Met Him?

It was written by André Frossard, a famous French journalist. His father was the secretary of the French Communist Party, and raised his son (André) as an atheist. At the age of twenty, totally uninterested in religion or God, Andre’ went out with a friend one day. The friend entered a building in which there was a chapel, and André waited outside. Tired of waiting, he went in to look for his friend. It was 5.10 pm. He went in an atheist. He came out at 5.15, convinced that God exists. The meeting transformed him. He would later write a book about it with the title given above.

An acquaintance who heard of his experience asked him, “But why you?” André told him there is no answer to that question, except this: “If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.”

Have you met God? How do you meet Him? When? Where?

We invite readers to share their experience of meeting God. More people than we think have had deep and transforming experiences of meeting God. People from all backgrounds, age groups, religions, educational levels.

In our first account of God-experiences, we listen to Sister Margaret (Margot) Power PBVM, an Irish missionary who has spent most of her life in India. Sr Margot is known for her deep humanity, loving attention to people, joyful presence, sense of humour and convinced life.

In Pain, in Children, in Silence
Sr Margaret Power PBVM

The event I had dreaded most in my life turned out to be different from what I had imagined it would be. It happened this way.

I was very, very attached to my father and always believed I would not be able to bear his death. I was already in India when he fell ill, but I was in my home in Ireland during my father’s last illness. He became critical. My Mom and I were outside the ICU. Then, a young doctor came out of the ICU. He was an Indian. This made me feel good, since I was just coming from India. He was at a loss what to tell us. So, we asked him, “Is Dad…?” He nodded sadly. We knew that Dad was gone.

This was the moment I had always dreaded. Yet, when it actually arrived, God filled my heart with a deep sense of peace.
I need not fear facing the situations I am scared of. He is present in my pain. He knows what I need better than I do.
* * *
One day in 2011, I had a chat with a little girl on our school campus. I asked her who she was, her name and where she was studying. I remember having some sweets in my bag. So I asked her if she would like to have anything. I thought she would ask for sweets! Her answer was a total surprise and God’s gift for me. She said, “Sister, I want to see the face of Jesus.”
I had thought of children as nice and charming and a source of joy. Now I see that they are also God’s voice for me.
* * *

The following incident may appear trivial to some. Though it happened many years ago when I was in Presentation Convent, Egmore, it has never left my mind. It was a moment of deep encounter with God.
I had received a considerable sum of money for a particular purpose. Workers were doing repair work in the house, furniture had to be shifted, and the house was in a bit of a mess. It was only after two of three days that I thought of the cash I had received! I searched everywhere, but could not find it. I had a heavy heart and was beginning to get desperate. On the second night I had a dream. In the dream I saw a brown cover at the back of the steel drawer (not inside the drawer but behind it). I remember being at peace after the dream. Early next morning I got a screw driver and managed to remove the drawer completely and there was the brown cover with the cash inside. I just folded my hands and said, “I knew you would see me through, Lord!”

***

Nature is a powerful call from God every day. My early morning walk in the campus is a beautiful experience for me as I begin my day surrounded by nature ….trees and plants that bring me in touch with God. As I walk, a song usually comes to my mind and stays with me throughout the walk. I remind myself of how privileged I am to be in a place that is so quiet and peaceful.

* * *

I sit quietly in my room at night and go through the day, relishing the moments that went well and become aware of the blessings that God gave me during the day. The Spirit often helps me to remember small details that went unnoticed. It is a time for me to ask pardon for my many failings and I ask God to give me strength to live tomorrow better. I cherish this time of the day as it is here that I meet God, with whom I can be completely transparent. He knows what’s going on beneath the surface.

* * *

Sometimes I just do nothing but sit still and become aware of my breathing. This leads me to realize that it is God who keeps me in being every moment.

* * *

Silence also teaches me something that otherwise I would forget: That God is close, that God talks to me the whole time, in so many ways, through people, events, nature, silence, music, pain and joy. I need not live in fear. I need not fill my head with worry. I can let go. I need to listen attentively, as He speaks to me through our children, workers, community sisters. He waits for me in silence and in noise, in rain and sunshine, in birds and trees and blades of grass. If only I were more open to His tender voice of love!

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– Sister Margaret (Margot) Power PBVM

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In the second week of April 2016, Jesus Youth, a Catholic movement originating from India, was  officially recognized by the Vatican as an International Private Association of the Faithful. The solemn bestowal ceremony was held in Rome on the 20^th of May. Jesus Youth has been the first movement from India to receive such approval and the second one from the whole of Asia.

The name “Jesus Youth” is more of less familiar to the Catholic circles in India, but the newfound recognition has stirred up a renewed interest in the movement.

WHAT IS SO SPECIAL ABOUT THIS MOVEMENT TO GAIN A PONTIFICAL ATTENTION? 

AND HOW HAS IT GROWN TO THIS STATURE?

WHAT IS ITS MISSION?

WHAT WORK DOES IT DO?

A real case may answer these questions better than theory.

Smitha’s story is perhaps the testimony of a majority of the members of the movement.

“I secured admission to this famous engineering college and plunged into a hectic life of coping with the difficult curriculum and at the same time seeking approval and getting accepted into the trendy peer group and their fashionable ways.” A few senior girls in her hostel gently reached out to her and invited her to a friendly evening of prayer and Bible study in one of the hostel rooms. In the beginning she went there to please her seniors. Later their joyful company and their mature view of life kept Smitha as a regular member of the group. A few months later she was invited to attend a weekend retreat for students. That became a life-changing experience for her, as it provided greater clarity about her faith and a newfound depth in prayer. And she was introduced to the Jesus Youth path called ‘the Six Pillars.’ Today, Smitha is a vibrant missionary in JY Campus Ministry.

A gradual growth

This is how the movement was born.

The UN declared 1985 the Year of Youth.  In Kerala, a grassroots network of Catholic youth was already active from 1978 and its leadership planned a number of initiatives that year. All that concluded in a leaders’ conference held in December at Cochin, which was named ‘Jesus Youth 85’. The phrase became quite popular and the members started calling themselves by that name and the network of groups also came to be named as Jesus Youth.

With its focus on an experiential renewal based on Charismatic spirituality, JY programs bring youth to a personal Christ encounter and to its spiritual mentoring groups. The movement spread through friendly contacts and motivation for evangelistic initiatives. By 1985, it had spread to all parts of Kerala. As committed Jesus Youth moved to other states for higher studies and jobs, they carried along their missionary enthusiasm. And the result was Jesus Youth initiatives in other centres of the nation.

By mid 1990s JY groups were already well in place in the Persian Gulf. In another few years, it spread other parts of the world. A coordinating system was put in place in India in 1998. In 2002, during the Toronto World Youth Day gathering, an International coordination team for the movement was formed. In 2008 Jesus Youth received official recognition from the CBCI. Now the Universal Church has approved the movement. Presently Jesus Youth movement is active in about 35 countries and in all 5 continents.

Sharing the Good-news with Joy

The name Jesus Youth evokes different images in people’s minds. Campus student groups in universities and colleges, parish-based prayer gatherings, Rex Band and similar music bands, year-long fulltime volunteering trainings, JY professional initiatives among doctors, engineers and nurses, interesting training sessions for teens, young family groups and a variety of other groups and initiatives sprout and grow under the banner of Jesus Youth. Those who are familiar with the movement are surprised not only by tireless zeal of its members, but also by its creativity and variety. How is all this held together? What is the secret of its cohesion and continuity?

In the wider Catholic world Jesus Youth is not singular in its nature. The recent Popes, starting from St John Paul II, noted with enthusiasm and encouragement a new brand of Catholic entities, now referred to as Ecclesial Movements. These post-Vatican II groups bring together enthusiastic lay leaders, priests and religious around some specific charism. The Church has been quite positive in discovering and promoting these new ways, discerning unprecedented intervention of God’s Spirit in the contemporary times. The Focolare Movement, the Neo -Catechumenal Way, Opus Dei and so many other movements are recognised under this label. John Paul II talked of this lay commitment with admiration: “One solid cause of hope [for a new springtime of Christian life in Asia] is  the increasing number of better trained, enthusiastic and Spirit-filled lay  people, who are more and more aware of their specific vocation within the  ecclesial community” (John Paul II, Ecclesia in Asia, 9)

What is the specific charism of the Jesus Youth movement? Introducing Jesus and His Church to the contemporary youth. This takes place effectively through a variety of initiatives.

Through a variety of groups and a wide array of colourful programs, the JY movement introduces young people to a new relationship with Jesus. They in turn begin an active Catholic life. Those who continue in Jesus Youth groups are trained to become active evangelizers of other young people.

The Six Pillars

Jesus Youth is an attractive platform where youth of all sorts discover the beauty of Catholic life and connect to it effectively. Starting with a God-encounter, youth are led to a life of commitment to the “Six Pillars,” namely, daily prayer, Word of God, Sacraments, fellowship, witnessing to the Lord and serving the poor. When one gets connected to Jesus Youth, he or she is gradually introduced also to practical ways of evangelising in one’s everyday life. An array of talent-cum-career-oriented missionary initiatives called ministries have come up in the movement. Campus, teens, nurses, teachers, doctors and a host of other ministering network ensure a wider reach and relevant Christian guidance to all kinds of young people.

A strong missionary call in the movement finds its rich fruit in a natural vocation promotion and career guidance. Through the example of the active senior Jesus Youth who are already working and leading a family life, youngsters receive a spontaneous life-related mentoring. JY has not only become a formation ground for the preparation for joyful missionary families. Through it many youth have discovered their call to priesthood and religious life.  Many priests have found a new missionary dimension to their priestly ministry through their contact with JY.

This was the case of Fr Cherian, who was introduced to Jesus Youth when he was in the Seminary. He joined the Jesus Youth Fulltime Volunteer Program and took a year-long missionary commitment in the North East of India. “I became much more person-oriented through my contact with the Jesus Youth movement. From a liturgy-centred priest I was changed into a pastor concerned with the life and problems of people. Through my contact with these committed lay people, the intellectual and theological input I received in the seminary found its practical application. Not only with the youth segment that I am active, but with all sections of the society and, what is more, even in our priestly koinonia I am a voice to connect to today’s challenges.”

Deeper and wider in mission

Planting Spirit-filled missionary enthusiasm in ordinary youth is the special gift of the movement.  Over the last few decades the movement has developed a variety of formation packages to ensure growth in Christian maturity and personal holiness. Many priests and bishops discover in the movement a good way to invite to the heart of the Church the contemporary generation that would otherwise never connect to spiritual life. And this invitation and a further continuous personal mentoring are done in a manner quite appealing to the tech-savvy generation.

A senior bishop would put it this way, “Jesus Youth is an enormous opportunity for the Church and society. I find its non-competitive leadership and non-threatening evangelisation fascinating.”

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– Dr Edward is one of the pioneering members and senior animator of Jesus Youth. He shares several key responsibilities in the church including being the joint secretary to the CBCI commission for Laity. Hes also serves as a syndicate member, Sree Sankaracharya University, Kakady in Kerala.

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