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What does the vow of poverty mean today, in our context? Nobody wants poverty – neither material nor intellectual nor spiritual poverty. There is a global war going on for the eradication of poverty from the surface of the world, especially in the third world. Jesus never glorified poverty and misery. What does voluntary poverty mean when one has been forced to live in poverty all his or her life? What does poverty mean when one has more money or comfort in the religious community than in his or her family in the village? Is this the surest way of avoiding financial insecurity in a poor country like ours? As members of a financially secure institution, with good housing, above average levels of food, medical care, leisure, educational opportunity and social influence, we are not poor.

Our style of life has no more meaning and witnessing value in our country. Our wealth, comforts, power and position alienate us from the poor to whom we are called to be “Good News”. Our buildings with their compound walls, high gates and dogs, lawns and love birds and fish tanks; our expensive cars, excellent medical treatment when we need it and our mode of celebrations—all these are a counter-witness. After all, we claim to follow the poor man, Jesus of Nazareth. We are, of course, helping some poor people. But often they do not feel comfortable to approach us and we too find little time to be available to them in their needs.

We can speak of three different types of poverty:

A) Economic poverty: The poor are poor not because of their fault. Typhoons, droughts, floods, violence and wars destroy the poor. A little street girl asked Pope Francis in the Philippines, “Why does God allow such things to happen?” The response to economic poverty is to end it by hearing the cry of the poor and responding to it with sensitivity and generosity. Compassion is not enough. Just and effective structural measures are needed to combat economic poverty.

B) Sociological poverty: This kind of poverty exists because of selfishness and of exploiting and suppressing the weak by not paying a just salary or cheating the poor and silencing them. This is the case when we fail to pay just wages to our workers or we do not treat them with dignity and respect. The social dimension of religious poverty is to empathize with the poor and to alleviate their sufferings.

C) Spiritual poverty: This is what we call “Anawim” We do not have to be economically poor. In sickness and misery, we rely on God and surrender to Him. To be “poor in spirit” is to realize that we have nothing, we are nothing, and can do nothing by ourselves. Poverty of spirit is a consciousness of our emptiness. It is a sense of need and destitution. We are totally open to God. Sometimes we feel we cannot do anything. This is poverty of the spirit.

This vow places us on the way to defy materialism, consumerism and the justified ‘me’ism. Such a vow has less to do with ownership and more to do with stewardship. When people are dying of poverty, can religious professing to follow a man who was born poor, who lived and died in poverty afford the luxury of costly cars, a luxurious life-style, etc.? At the same time it does not mean that one should travel without reservation and enough money or to starve. Poverty need not mean misery, starvation and uncleanness in life, which of course are not virtues to be practiced but vices to be shunned. But the real meaning of poverty is sharing!

Sharing gives a totally different perspective. It is not a question of whether the other has it or not. The question is that we have got too much – we have to share. When we do charity, we expect the other to thank us. When we share, we thank him/her that s/he allowed us to pour out our energy – which was getting heavy; we feel grateful! And we need to see our giving not so much as charity but as obligation, as justice, as something we owe to the poor.

Asia or India is not poor. But there is an unequal distribution of resources. Hence we fight for peace, equality and justice. So we can call this vow as “Act justly” (Mic: 6:8) – a vow of stewardship, sharing and justice. We vow “to live simply” in a world overstuffed with commodities. Or, in an age of climate change, we respect the integrity of Planet Earth and “vow to live ecologically”. We live at the periphery, since poverty does not keep us at the centre of power. We choose to renounce power and prestige which material goods give, to be in solidarity with the poor. This vow will remind us of our duty to work for justice so that everybody will have enough to live a decent life.

All this requires an openness to the Spirit or, better said, a willingness to dance with the Spirit. Without an inner experience of joy in the Lord, it is unlikely that a person will choose poverty over riches or a simpler life over a life of luxury. Our life-style shows where our heart’s deep desires lie.Questions for Reflection & Sharing:

1. Are we, members of religious orders, really poor?
2. What does our vow of poverty really mean?
3. Does our life-style put us among the rich, the upper middle class, the lower middle class or the poor?
4. Would most people who deal with us consider us poor?
5. The New Testament calls only one thing “the root of all evil.” That is: love of money. Does our life bear witness to a detachment from money and worldly goods?
6. In what ways can we simplify our life, both collectively and personally?
7. Some say that those who come from poor families are often the most attached to luxury. Have you found this to be true?
8. By entering religious life, do most of us join a poorer and simpler way of life or a more secure and more comfortable life than at home?
9. What inner attitude or spiritual experience would make a person want to lead a simple life?
10. Have you personally experienced the joy of a simple life, of sharing, of being close to the poor?

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Fear is probably the emotion we experience most frequently. The good news is: It is easier to overcome than you may think. Here’s how.

Basic Truths

1. Fear is a very common emotion. All of us experience it. Some are afraid of pain or illness, others of financial loss, while many fear appearing in public. Most people fear death. Some are frightened of the dark, others of animals or heights. The list is long.

2. Good news: Most fears can be overcome. You were not born shy or frightened. If you are afraid of something, you learnt it along the way. If so, you can “unlearn.” Fears are neither natural nor inevitable (except fear of falling and fear of loud noise—which are given for our protection.). No one is “naturally” shy or scared.

3. Some of the men and women whom the world admires for their extraordinary courage started out as insecure, frightened individuals. The young Mohandas Gandhi, for instance, was very shy. He would later be known as a man of extraordinary courage.

Three Aspects of Fear

Fear has three tiers or elements: a bodily element, an emotional element, and a thought or fantasy element.

We start with the bodily element. When we are scared and nervous, we experience it in our body.  Suppose I am nervous when asked to give a speech before a large gathering. I experience one or more of these bodily reactions: shivering, sweating, loss of voice, palpitations, cold hands, cold feet, headaches, digestive troubles, stiffness, giddiness, … No one experiences all these symptoms at once. Each of us suffers from a few of these bodily reactions when we are frightened. Please write down the three or four BODILY REACTIONS that you experience when you are frightened and nervous.

We cannot take away these bodily reactions by willing it. It is useless to tell a nervous person, “Don’t be nervous!”. A person cannot switch off nervousness by simply willing it. The physical discomfort of nervousness is the result of something else. It is caused by an emotion.

What is the emotion behind my nervousness? Evidently, it is fear.

The solution does not lie at this stage as well. We cannot remove a fear by simply wanting it. So, it is futile to tell a frightened person, “Don’t be afraid!” (S/he will only think: “It is easy for you to say that! I wish I could get rid of my fear.”).

The real villain of the piece lies somewhere else: in our thought or fantasy. This is what causes my fear. It is here that I will find the solution to my fear, although I imagine that the external event or situation is causing it. People feel so relieved and hopeful when they discover that the remedy for fear lies within themselves, and that they can become free of fear by changing the way they think and take decisions. How do we do it?

The Case of Anand

Take the example of Anand, a student who has been asked to give the vote of thanks on school day. As soon as Anand hears this, he gets jittery. He finds he is so nervous he cannot eat or sleep. He is sure he is going to make a fool of himself. He tells himself that the huge audience will make him a nervous wreck. He starts thinking of ways to get the principal to ask another student to give that speech. “I can’t face such a large audience,” he thinks. “I will be a wreck; they will be laughing at me the rest of the year.”

If I am the principal, and I agree with Anand, and, out of false compassion, “let him off the hook,” he may feel relieved, but I am doing him enormous harm. I am agreeing with his assessment that he cannot face an audience.

Instead, I can ask him: “What is it you are afraid of? What is going through your mind? Shall we talk about it?”

This talk brings us to the real villain of the piece, namely, our own thought or fantasy. As we look into it, we come across this fascinating simple truth: Behind most of our fears, there lurks an inner conversation, with these three elements: I-They-I. Each of us thinks that our fears are special. Not so! In our fears (as in most of our deepest feelings) we are more alike than different, and in this lies our hope.

What is Anand’s inner conversation? What self-talk is he doing? It goes something like this:

I will make mistakes.

They will laugh at me (or think less of me). 

I cannot face that.

This I-They-I self-talk is behind most cases of nervousness and fear.

I am not talking about rational or realistic fears, e.g., when an armed man is chasing you, or a car is coming at you at high speed. In these cases, fear gives us wings, and is a providential tool of self-preservation. So, too, “I am afraid that, if I carry on smoking, I may get cancer” is realistic self-assessment. It is a fear worth listening to.

Anand’s day of liberation will come when he realizes that the audience is doing nothing to harm him; that he is frightening himself with his self-talk.

 The Way Out

Anand is not helpless. There is much he can do for himself. My task is to help him see it. I can help him look at his inner conversation. We have done this in counseling sessions, and the outcome is dramatic.

Coming to his three I-They-I beliefs:

“I am afraid I will make mistakes”: Yes, he may. In life, we have only two options: (a) Do what I can, as well as I can, knowing that it will never be perfect; (b) Avoid doing things (e.g., meeting new people or speaking in public) for fear of making mistakes.

We do not have a third option, namely, to do something perfectly, without any flaw.

(This idea needs to be drilled in. We may want to wait until we are sure we can do something perfectly, without mistakes. This is a stage no human being will reach. If we wait for that, we will waste our whole life waiting!)

If Anand were to cancel his speech, he would be making the biggest mistake of all—that of doing nothing for fear of making mistakes.

Anand can accept to give the speech, get help in preparing it, and accept the fact that it will not be the best possible speech in the world. An excessive fear of making mistakes makes us unnecessarily nervous, and saps our energy. A slight anxiety (which most of us experience) energizes us to do better. I witnessed a beautiful illustration of this truth in a training session for counsellors.

Helen, a counselor-trainee, had to coach a group of us for a role play. Dr. Bhavani, a trainer, was present to evaluate her performance. Before the session began, Bhavani asked Helen: “Helen, how do you feel?” “Nervous.” “What is the nervousness?” “I am afraid.” “What is the fear, Helen?” “I am afraid I will make mistakes.”

At this point, this wise and experienced counselor told Helen one of the most helpful comments I have ever heard. Bhavani told her: “Helen, when I did this the first time, I made several mistakes. Will you promise me to make at least two mistakes this morning?”

Helen laughed. Bhavani insisted. Helen’s face relaxed, and she replied: “Yes, I promise.” “How do you feel now, Helen?” “I am fine.” She went on to conduct a great session.

This is the first self-help we can practise: Tell yourself it is OK to be imperfect. We must do what we can to prepare for the task, and then decide to enjoy the good outcome, rather than focus on the possible mistakes.

The other two bits of self-talk are easier to tackle.

“They are going to laugh at me.” Are they? The fact is: Most people are thinking about themselves (as you are doing, when you get scared); they are not thinking about you. They are not keen either on pulling you down or pushing you up. If what you say is useful to them, they will listen; or else, they will switch off. You may make new friends through your speech.

As for “I cannot face it,” well, you can. You have much more strength than you think.

You may be telling yourself that you cannot face them. If you tell yourself this deadly message a number of times, you will end up believing it. May be others treated you as if you could not do certain things. Perhaps they frightened you with horror stories when you were too small to think for yourself. What was learnt, can be unlearnt.

In fact, one of the best things people who love us can do for us, is to encourage us to face the new and the unknown, rather than run away. Overprotection makes cowards out of us. When you are thrown into an unfamiliar situation, instead of thinking, “Oh, my gosh! I can’t face it!”, see it as the best thing that could happen to you.

Anne, an assistant principal, was dead scared of speaking in public. One day, the principal was called away suddenly just before the morning assembly. She turned to Anne and said: “Please address the assembly.”

Anne told me later: “I thought I would die. I would have given anything to escape this situation, but there was no way. Thank God the book stand hid my trembling knees. Somehow, I got through that frightful experience. Looking back, it was the best thing that could have happened to me. The first few experiences were hard, but now I am relaxed before an audience.”

Steps to Take:

We must take concrete steps to tackle fear when we feel it.

• Decide to do rather than withdraw. Withdrawing from what frightens you may seem a nice escape, but each such escape will increase your fear.
• Ask yourself: What is my fear? What are my thoughts and fantasies about this? How am I frightening myself? See, and reject, your irrational “I-They-I” conversation. 
• Do your part, e.g., prepare the speech, getting the help you need to correct the text and pronunciation and rehearse the talk a few times.
• Get honest feedback from caring people. They will tell you what you are doing well and what you need to change. With each initiative, your fear will diminish and your confidence will increase. The appreciation you get will make you want to do what you once feared.
• Pray. Remember that there is no problem God cannot solve. He is closer to you than you think. Take His loving hand, and go ahead.
• Love, even in small doses, is healing. Love chases away fear. Take time to savour the love and kindness that come your way. As children, being held by a loving adult gave us courage. When afraid, think of someone who loves you. Above all, remember the Lord, who loves you beyond measure and holds you in His heart.

Conclusion:

None of us was born shy or frightened.

Most fears are picked up along the way. We can learn to give them up.

We can understand how we frighten ourselves, and learn to change our thoughts.

May we not the make the worst mistake of all—not doing things out of fear of mistakes.

May we do the best we can, learn from our achievements and our mistakes, and find the God-given strength that is greater than our fears.

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Matthieu Ricard, the so-called ‘happiest man in the world’, says: “If we can learn to ride a bike, we can learn to be happy.” He continues: “To be happy, we have to get rid of mental toxins, such as, hatred, obsession, arrogance, envy, greed and pride.”

Ricard suggests meditation as a way to free our mind from such mental toxins. He believes that meditation helps to create the inner space where the ‘antidote of toxins’ can grow. In other words, meditation has the potential to kick out negative feelings. Not only! It also facilitates the growth of the “mind-sickness’ antidote”: forgiveness, inner peace, humility, compassion, and even problem-solving capacity and creativity.

Here are the easy Five Steps to mindfulness meditation. It can be practiced anywhere and even for just a minute. Its effectiveness, however, requires constancy. Studies say that even just five minutes of mindfulness meditation, practised every day for a reasonably long period, is enough to positively affect a person’s overall well-being.

THE FIVE STEPS:

1. Location: If possible, find a quiet spot. If you are at home or in the chapel, try to ‘stick to the same spot’. Why stick to the same place? Because it helps to focus the mind and minimize the distractions of a changing environment. You can, however, practice mindfulness meditation anywhere.

2. Posture: Keep a straight spine with hands symmetrically placed. It does not matter whether you squat, sit on a chair or kneel down. What you need is to be straight without being rigid, relaxed but not sloppy, comfortable but not to the point of dozing off. The criterion for choosing your posture is to go for the one that you can keep comfortably for a longer period.

Regarding the posture, Mingyur Rinpoche, a meditation master, suggests imagining each part of our body resting on the one below, straight without worrying about ‘perfect’, resting but full of energy and strength.

3. Pre-meditation Preps: Keeping your eyes closed, acknowledge your surroundings, the noise, heat, smells, etc. It means paying non-judgemental attention to each, observing, making an effort to be in the now. Take three deep breaths.

4. Breath-awareness: First, find a ‘rhythm’ that suits you, for example, inhaling during four counts; keeping the breath in for seven counts; releasing the breath in eight counts and finally stillness (neither breathing in or out) for two counts. Go on with the cycle that suits you best for five minutes. Try keeping your mind focussed on your breath, on what happens to your body when you breathe.

5. Observe without judgement: Pay attention to your breath, to how you feel at the moment. Acknowledge all the other thoughts that occupy your mind without judging them or yourself. Don’t dwell on them either. As you become aware of them, just get back to your breath without hammering yourself for being distracted. Examples of distraction: thinking about food; sexual feelings or feelings of hurt. Never mind! Without feeling guilty for whatever creeps in, get back to your breathing.

At the end of the meditation, we open our eyes slowly and become present to what we feel in and out of our body.

As we said earlier, the benefits of mindfulness meditation come with constancy.

Another bonus is that, as we become ‘experts’ in the five-minute mindfulness meditation, we can also have quicker mindfulness meditation moments throughout the day. That means: wherever we are, we can pause and carry out the five steps.

Matthieu Ricard notes that, when we have a flash of anger or fear, when we undergo excessive stress or emotion, there follows some time during which we can’t think, rationalize or move on. These are the times when the pause of a quick mindfulness moment can help us get things in perspective. The same is suggested to deal with insomnia.

Once, when I was travelling by train, I heard a mother tell her teenage son, “Why don’t you do your meditation?”

I end by making the same invitation to you. Why not? Where not?

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Heart attack is a vague term for the general public, evenmore so for the doctors. it encompasses a spectrum of involvement of the heart, mainly the left-sided pumping chamber of the heart (Left Ventricle) by a block occurring in the coronary arteries. It may be so serious to cause a cardiac arrest and sudden cardiac death or it may be so trivial and asymptomatic that the patient may ignore it. At a later stage, when the patient is told that he had a heart attack, he may not recall any such incident.

Any heart attack is serious. Various terminologies are available for doctors to classify the heart attack and also to assess the degree of risk involved for further complications to any given patient, with increasing severity of heart attack. By and large, the malady is termed myocardial infarction due to blockade of a coronary artery by various mechanisms, very frequently by a clot (thrombus) in the artery. Depending on the location and severity of the block and the amount of heart muscle it supplies, the clinical condition of “acute coronary syndrome” emerges.

Patients’ survival and the impact of the block on the heart depends on how quickly we respond to it. It is a challenging situation; it is a matter of life and death. Various effective medications and methodologies are available to treat the condition and make the patient completely well, provided a timely action is taken by the patient, the hospital and the physician/cardiologist. Time is the essential, critical and vital factor in the success or failure of the treatment. Experienced physicians/cardiologists know fully well about the treatment modalities; hence this communication is meant for the general public (the victims of heart attacks) to understand and adhere to the recommendations which have emerged in the last three decades by various clinical studies and research on the subject.

If “time” is the essential factor and the lynchpin for success, how do we save time to get to the target (the appropriate treatment)? This needs constant education of the people through media, newspapers and television. The first step is the awareness and recoginition of an impending heart attack by the patient; usually a sense of denial occurs in almost every patient. A strong suspicion of a heart attack should be considered as a heart attack unless proved otherwise in a hospital. Once the ‘recognition of the problem’ is over, many logistic difficulities are encountered. Where is the hospital? Which hospital to go to? Which doctor to consult? Depending on the geographical location, these logistics should have been studied by every family prior to the emergency of a heart attack. Anyone can get a heart attack anytime; once this fact is understood, the next step (the hospital) can be reached without wasting any time.

Let us turn to the treatment aspect in the hospital. The focus is on immediate restoration of blood flow through the blocked coronary artery. Basically there are two methods, one being thrombolysis (fibrinolysis) by giving the medicine through a vein. Various medications are available; at present the most popular and commonly used agents are tenecteplase (TNK) which can be given in a few seconds, in a 30 – 40 mg dose, with a cost of about Rs. 30,000 to 40,000, and streptokinase, which can be given in half an hour to one hour, with a cost of about Rs. 3000. The choice of these agents is to be decided judiciously by the doctors depending on many factors, including cost.

The second method is ‘primary angioplasty’ done in an advance cardiac centre in the cardiac catheterisation laboratory by a cardiologist experienced in primary angioplasty. The time factor and cost are major considerations. If the delay to get this treatment is more than sixty minutes, after the first medical contact, the first method (thrombolysis) is preferred in a less advanced hospital by a team experienced in thrombolysis. A physician nurse team is sufficient in a hospital with 24-hour emergency services and a coronary care unit. Here again, the delay should not be more than 30 minutes once the patient reaches the hospital. Once timely thrombolysis is done, the patient can be transferred to a cardiac centre within three to twenty-four hours. This is known as the ‘pharmaco invasive’ treatment, which perhaps is the most suitable method in our country, unless an advanced cardiac centre is available where a primary angioplasty is possible within a time frame of 60 minutes after the first medical contact.

Very few centres are available in our country for primary angioplasty except in the cities. The centre should have a modern emergency department with excellent triage system i.e deciding the order of treatment of patients, and round the clock availability of trained cardiac catheterisation team (cardiologist, nurses and a radiology technician). Though many studies have shown the supremacy of this method in some Western countries, this is a difficult task to achieve in our country in the near future, except perhaps in the major cities. The traffic condition of our major cities will be a real hurdle and deterrant. The final results of both these methods (Thrombolysis and primary angioplasty) are similar—with minor variations.

While so much importance and emphasis are given to the time factor, perhaps the main time factor lies with the patient to reach the hospital without delay. Once the symptoms start, every minute is important. It is said,’ time is muscle’ and hence it is imperative to reach the hospital for early treatment to save the heart muscle. The first hour after the heart attack is referred to as the ‘Golden Hour,” as restoration of blood flow within this time saves the heart muscle. If the blood supply in the blocked artery to the heart is restored within three hours, only moderate benefit is achieved and some benefit if done within twelve hours. Beyond twelve hours, it may be an effort in futility. However, with so many mushrooming hospitals and catheterisation laboratories in India, one can be sure of getting timely help to manage this common disease which is easily treatable! If one could reduce the delay in seeking prompt medical assistance, the final outcome would be remarkable!

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General Administration and Financial Management are vital pillars for the healthy existence and efficient functioning of any organization.  Here, we shall take up these twin themes in the context of registered charitable Societies/Trusts/Companies.   Though each one is different in nature and way of functioning, here, we shall use the word “Trust” and it is applicable to a “Society” or “Company” as well, unless we refer to the latter two specifically.  We shall try to understand what these twin themes mean through a series of articles that would appear in the coming issues of MAGNET.  To begin with, we take up the theme of General Administration first.

The word “administer” comes from Latin administrare, meaning to “manage as a steward,” to “regulate or execute on behalf of others.”  This means it is not an action flowing out of an  individual’s decision. Rather it is the execution of the decision of others—in this case, the members of a registered Society/Trust/Company.  For example, a nurse administers medicine to the patients, the president administers the Oath of Office to the ministers, a priest administers the Sacraments to the faithful.  All these examples imply that the person (nurse, president, priest) is acting on behalf of someone else (doctor, Constitution, Church).  Hence, administration in any registered charitable entity would mean “managing the affairs on behalf of the members of an organization.”  Thus, a Trustee manages the affairs of the Trust on behalf of its members.

What does a Trustee manage in a Trust?  As Trustees, we manage the resources of the Trust entrusted to us. Hence, the need to be accountable.  The Code of Canon Law reiterates this point in no. 1284:  All administrators are to perform their duties with the diligence of a good householder;  they must be vigilant that no goods placed in their care in any way perish or suffer damage; they must ensure that the ownership of ecclesiastical goods is safeguarded in ways which are valid in civil law.

Because the Trustee deals with the resources entrusted to him/her, he/she does not act as per  his/her own will or desire.   He/she acts on behalf of others, for the well-being of the Trust. A Trustee always acts on behalf of others (Body of Trustees, Governing Body or Board).  In other words, he/she just executes the decision made by the members.  Hence, a Trustee acts on behalf of the Members and reports to them.   This is a great responsibility taken up with its inherent need for accountability.

Wherever accountability is there,  transparency automatically comes in.  Both concepts are inherently relational: Transparency creates accountability and accountability creates transparency.  Transparency and Accountability are key to good governance.  To the extent transparency is clear, accountability becomes in-built in the system.   Without transparency there couldn’t be any accountability.   Unless there is accountability, transparency would be of no value. The existence of both conditions contributes to an effective and efficient functioning of an institution.  Some of the evils like corruption, ego fights, jealousy, competition, etc. come in when there is no transparency and accountability.   Presence of this duo makes everyone realize his/her role in making the Trust achieve its goal.

Who are the Administrators?  Anyone, whether a Trustee or not, in charge of the smooth functioning of a Trust or one of its units is an administrator.  In our context, all those who hold the office of the Bishop, Parish Priest, Provincial, Superior, Minister, Treasurer, Principal, Director, President, Secretary, Administrator, Co-ordinator, etc. are administrators.  They manage the resources of the Trust, be it personnel, property or financial, in such a way that it achieves the purpose for which the Trust has been created.

In the next issue, we shall see what a Trust is.

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These prayers, too, like the ones in the last issue, were written on the spot by young women undergraduates, students of Sr Mariola Sequeira MSA in Ajmer.

God, I want to thank you for each and everything which you have given me. Sometimes I don’t like to pray to you when I remember that my brother is no more. I just want to cry and cry after knowing that someone I love can never be mine even if I pray to you. I cannot face you, Lord, when I have done wrong. May be you can forgive me, but I cannot forgive myself. My only wish is to be with you and see you. I just want to hug you.

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God, I know if my parents leave me alone, if my friends leave me alone, but you are always be with me, Lord. I love you, Father, and praise you Lord. God, always love me and forgive if I have done any wrong thing. Please help me, Father, to be a kind and good human being. Thank You, Lord, for being my father and loving me always. Thank you, Lord.

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Thank you, Father, for creating this beautiful world. Thank you, Father, for giving your only Son for us so that we be saved from our sins. Lord, this beautiful world is again committing sins day by day, we humans have no knowledge or peace inside us. I just want to ask you, Lord: Please give us your knowledge and peace. We humans have no right to stand before you, Jesus. You have a big heart. Please forgive us. We know we do sin every time, but please, Lord, help us to walk on the right path and share your peace and joy with everyone. Help us to forgive and love others.

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Lord, our Almighty Father, before prospering us with any gift, please give us the path to follow humanity at least, because when we will become human by our deeds then only we may enjoy your wisdom. Dear God, bless this world with goodness.

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God, I love you because you are always there for me, to take me to the correct path. God, I pray to you for the happiness of my family. May they all live happily together. I pray for myself that I never attempt anything wrong in my life and don’t hurt anyone. May I become a defense officer. I just want to see everyone being proud of me. I pray for all the destitute. I at last pray to you for all those who need my prayer. Thank you for everything.

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Oh Lord, thank you for giving me life in a human form. Lord Jesus, you gave me everything but I want your wisdom. Abba Father, purify me with the precious blood of Jesus your Son and fill me with your Holy Spirit. Lord, make me understand your will so that I may live according to your will. Lord, make me ready to proclaim your word through my words, deeds and thoughts.

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The glory of God is a living person; and the life of a person consists in beholding God. (Ad. Ha. Bk.4, 20.7)

Irenaeus lived during the 2^nd century.  He belonged to Asia Minor and had been influenced by the preaching of St. Polycarp (a disciple of St. John the Evangelist).  He migrated to Lyons in Gaul and through his missionary endeavors, converted virtually the entire citys to Christianity.  He would go on to become the bishop of Lyons and probably suffered martyrdom around the year 200 CE.  Irenaeus wrote Adversus Haereses in response to the challenge of Valentinian Gnosticism. Gnostics believed that spirit was good and matter was bad.  All matter including the creation of the human body was a tragic mistake.  The human person had the spark of the divine, but it was trapped in the body.  The goal of life was to be free from matter and be united with God.  This took place through a secret knowledge which was reserved for a select few.

Irenaeus stressed that matter is good and has been created by God.  It had not been created by some inferior ‘creator god’ who was subservient to a superior Pleroma.  God created the human person so that through the exercise of freedom, the human person could enter into communion with God.  The body is the link between the material and spiritual realms and the grace of the Spirit helps one to be united to God.  He forcefully countered the Gnostic position regarding a secretive knowledge by explaining how the only true knowledge had been proclaimed by Christ.  This had been faithfully transmitted by the apostles to all people for the salvation of the entire world.  Such knowledge was not limited to the intellectual realm, but was more a matter of the heart.  It consisted in the preeminence of charity, transformed the heart of a person and led to right relationship with one’s neighbor.

Irenaeus agreed that the destiny of the human person was spiritual but emphasized that union with God took place in persons who are spiritual and at the same time fully human.  God’s glory is manifest in a human person who is fully alive and becoming ‘fully alive’ is a gradual process wherein God educates us, just as children are educated.  God’s two hands, the Word and the Spirit, continually shape our frail humanity.  The Gnostics could never accept that the Word could become human. For Irenaeus, however, this was the key, because fallen humanity had been recapitulated through the humanity of Christ.  Christ, through his obedience, reconciled all that is human and Divine.  By being united to Christ we become persons fully alive – i.e., persons who live a life of love and freedom and thus glorify God.

The contemporary human person desires an existence which is characterized by dignity and self-respect.  Such an existence reveals the human person in the true image and likeness of God.  The dignity of the human person in terms of one’s physical and spiritual dimension has taken on a more universal character during the last century with various religions and international bodies upholding the human person’s right to live a life of dignity.  While we are painfully aware of dehumanizing situations, we are also conscious of various efforts that help a person manifest God’s glory through their lives.  A person who is fully ‘alive’ is capacitated to love and serve others irrespective of their existential circumstances.  Such a person bears authentic witness to Christ, who paradoxically, through a cruel death on the Cross, manifested life in its fullness.  In the love of the Crucified we behold the glory of God as well as the authentic meaning of human existence.

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The church is very much in favour of the right use of psychology in priestly and religious formation. One of the valid tools available is the psychological screening of candidates—provided it is done competently, ethically and correctly. In this article, a qualified clinical psychologist who has conducted such screening explains the essentials in clear terms. This issue presents Part I of the article; the second part will appear in the June issue. (Editor)

USE AND MISUSE

Case 1

Sister Leonie, a pre-novice mistress, had invited Fr. Jerome, a psychologist, to do a psychological assessment of her pre-novices. She received the assessment reports by email a few weeks later. She went through the reports, giving attention especially to the recommendations that Fr. Jerome had made. Sometime later, she called three of her pre-novices, and told them that they will have to discontinue their pre-novitiate. She said that their psychological report said they are not suitable for religious life.

Case 2

Fr. Theophil, also a pre-novitiate director, had invited Fr. Agnelo, a psychologist, to do the psychological assessment of his pre-novices. A few weeks after he had done the assessment, Fr. Agnelo returned to the pre-novitiate, bringing with him the psychological reports he had prepared. He met each of the pre-novices and shared with him what he had been able to discover through the assessment and his impressions and recommendations. He checked with each of the novices his reactions to the reports. Almost all of them said that what the report said reflected their own understanding of themselves and that they were also able to learn a few new things about themselves. “I now know what I have to work on to improve myself,” many of them said.

Later, Fr. Agnelo met Fr. Theophil and explained to him the process he had followed, the results of the tests and the conclusions he had arrived at. He had made some recommendations in the report based on what the assessment revealed about the personality dynamics of each of the pre-novices which Theophil could use to help the pre-novices improve. Some of the personality profiles indicated that the candidate might find religious life quite challenging and difficult. As  the pre-novice director, Fr. Theophil had to make a judgment regarding suitability of the candidate for religious life, based on his own personal knowledge of the pre-novices and what the assessment revealed. Fr Agnelo also communicated to Theophil the reactions of the pre-novices to the reports.

The two cases given above point to two different understandings and uses of the psychological assessment. In the first, Sister Leonie used the assessment as a screening device to decide who is suitable or not suitable for religious life. Fr. Jerome had concluded from his interpretation of the tests that some pre-novices were not suitable for religious life. This was going beyond his brief. Making decisions regarding suitability or unsuitably for religious life is not the task of the psychologist. That decision is to be made by the formator, based on her understanding of the candidate, opinion of her colleagues and the personality profile that emerged from the assessment. Sr. Leonie also acted unwisely by leaving the judgment on the suitability to the psychologist and simply carrying out what he advised.

In the second case, the psychological assessment was used as a formation tool, something that could help the pre-novice and the director to gain a better understanding of the candidate and use that understanding to direct the formation process. This is what the psychologist Fr. Agnelo and the pre-novice director Fr. Theophil did. The psychologist did not make a decision regarding suitability. He only provided a personality profile, and made some recommendations on how the candidate can be better helped. He also discussed the results and conclusions of the assessment with both the candidate and the director in person.

Psychological assessment is used in many contexts and disciplines and for many purposes. In this cover feature, I shall discuss psychological assessment in the context of formation to religious and priestly life. However, the insights provided here can be applicable in other contexts as well.

I shall begin with a discussion of the ethics of assessment and describe some of the major psychological assessment tools and the assessment process. These can be of help to the formator to know what is to be expected and to choose wisely competent psychologists to do the assessment.  I shall also describe the Church’s views on the use of psychological assessment in formation.

ETHICS OF ASSESSMENT

Competence

It is helpful and even necessary for the formator to check on the qualifications and experiences of the psychologist before entrusting him/her with the task of assessment. Psychological assessment is a specialized service. Not all psychologists are trained to provide assessment, nor have the expertise to do them.

To correctly administer and interpret psychological tests, an assessor must be properly trained.

This training generally includes an adequate amount of post-graduate course work, combined with a long period of supervised experience. Most Master’s Degree programmes in psychology do not include training in psychological assessment. Hence it would be wise to look for someone with doctoral qualifications. A post-graduate degree alone is not enough. Expertise in the use of some of the tests (like the Rorschach and majority of Personality Tests) requires intensive specialized training.

It is unethical on the part of a psychologist to administer tests for which one is not qualified. He only uses assessment instruments whose validity and reliability have been established for use with members of the population tested. When such validity or reliability has not been established, he describes the strengths and limitations of test results and interpretation.

It is also not ethical on the part of a formator to engage someone to do the assessment who is not qualified to do it. That would also be a disservice to the candidates because the results and interpretations would not be reliable. It is helpful for the formator to ask for a sample report from the psychologist of his previous work. The psychologist has to mask all identifiable information in the report to ensure anonymity. It is also helpful for the formator to check beforehand with the psychologist the kind of tests he will be using and if these have been validated for use with one’s candidates.

Consent

A psychologist may do an assessment only if the candidate provides informed consent for it. A decision by the formation team that psychological assessment is to be done is not enough. For a  candidate to make an informed consent, the psychologist has to provide an explanation of the nature and purpose of the assessment, the limits of confidentiality, who all will have access to the psychological report, the uses to which the assessment will be put and sufficient opportunity for the client to ask questions and receive answers.

It is helpful for the formator to receive a description of all the above from the psychologist and have these communicated to the candidates before the arrival of the psychologist. The formator must inform the candidate that they have the right to refuse the assessment. Experience shows that almost all candidates will agree to the assessment when proper rationale for it are provided. In case the candidate still refuses, especially when it has been mandated by the Congregation, this refusal will be indicated in relevant reports.

The American Psychological Association provides certain exceptions to informed consent: “when (1) testing is mandated by law or governmental regulations; (2) informed consent is implied because testing is conducted as a routine educational, institutional, or organizational activity (e.g., when participants voluntarily agree to assessment when applying for a job).” In this line of ethical thinking, these same exceptions could perhaps be applicable in the formation context where assessment has become a routine formation tool, or is mandated by the Church or the Congregation. That is, when candidates are aware that psychological assessment is part of the selection and formation process. However, the Church, in its wisdom, still offers the candidates freedom to refuse even in cases where assessment is mandated.

Confidentiality

The formator who has commissioned the assessment will ensure that the contents of the report will be available only to those persons authorized by the candidate to have access to them. The formator cannot make copies of the report the psychologist provides and give them even to those the candidate has authorized. She only gives a verbal report to these authorized persons. This means that there will be only one original written report and no copies made, and this original report will be kept safe with the person who has been previously authorized to keep it. These measures are taken to protect the privacy of the candidate and avoid misuse of the report.

Use and interpretation

When interpreting assessment results, including automated interpretations, the psychologist takes into account the purpose of the assessment as well as the various test factors, test-taking abilities, and other characteristics of the person being assessed, such as situational, personal, linguistic, and cultural differences, which might affect the objectivity of test results and reduce the accuracy of interpretations. He indicates in the report any significant limitations of their interpretations.

It is important that a psychologist does not use assessment instruments that are outdated or obsolete or irrelevant for current purposes. Moreover, he only uses original test materials. He does not make copies of copyrighted test materials to use in assessments. He is also responsible for the safe custody of test materials, so that these do not fall into the hands of wrong persons. Sometimes formators ask the psychologist if they can make copies of test materials and use them themselves. This clearly is unethical, and formators need to know this. They need to understand why the psychologist cannot accede to their request.

The use of only original test materials makes assessment an expensive affair. Psychological test materials are usually priced high, just like medications that have taken years of research and experimentation before being marketed. Creation and validation of test materials are expensive.

It is not only the cost of test materials that makes assessment expensive. Assessment is also time-consuming. The administration, scoring, analysis, interpretation of tests and the writing up of the assessment report and the communication of the results to the candidates and the authorized formators take an enormous amount of time. It is only fair that the psychologist be adequately remunerated for his/her time and work.

Formators have to be aware of this. Often formators are reluctant to engage qualified psychologists for assessment because of the costs involved. Instead, they may seek cheap and often unreliable and unethical ways to get the assessment done.

What is Psychological Assessment?

A very comprehensive definition of psychological assessment is the one provided by C. S. Newmark in his book, Major Psychological Assessment Instruments, published by Allyn and Beacon.

Psychological assessment is a process “which consists of evaluating a referral question, selecting appropriate procedures and tests, administering and scoring tests, interpreting and synthesizing findings, and communicating these effectively to the appropriate persons (e.g., client, referral source, other professionals” (Newmark, 1985, p. 2.)

The whole assessment process is guided by the referral question. What is meant by the term “referral question”? It is the reason or purpose for which an assessment is requested. It is very important that the referral question is very clear and precise. It is not enough, for example, for a formator to tell the psychologist “We would like you to do an assessment of our pre-novices.” She should clearly state why she wants an assessment, that is, what is it she wants to know through the assessment.

The psychologist then chooses approaches and tools accordingly. An important principle here is that the referral question can be answered only within the context of information about the candidate’s whole life. A set of test scores alone cannot provide the answer to the referral question.

There are three vital sources of information that can help to answer the referral question. These are: interviews, behavioral observations, and tests.

Interview

The candidate’s history and developmental setting are important contexts for understanding test scores and making correct interpretations. It is through a detailed interview that the psychologist gains information on the history and setting. Hence, the interview remains one of the most important assessment tools. The psychologist has to create an interview protocol within the specific context of the assessment and the referral question.

In fact, the earliest form of assessment was through the clinical interview. The first clinicians, such as Freud, Jung, and Adler, used unstructured interaction with their clients to obtain information regarding history, diagnosis, and underlying personality structure.

It is very helpful for the formator to provide the psychologist a history of the candidate and whatever other information she thinks would be of help in understanding the candidate’s background and personality. The psychologist can use this information to structure the interview.

The assessment interview would normally touch upon the following: Developmental history (infancy and early childhood, late childhood, adolescence, young adulthood), family history, psycho-sexual history, social history, medical history, drug and alcohol history, religious history and experiences, vocational journey, mental and emotional status, use of leisure time, coping style and self-description—about self-image, strengths and weakness.

It is always useful for the psychologist to conclude the interview with a question such as the following: “We have spent considerable time talking about you and your history. And I have learned a good deal about you. Is there anything else that you consider important for me to know about you in the context of this assessment?” In answer to this question, the candidates often give surprisingly honest and useful information.

Behavioral Observation

The psychologist pays close attention to the way the candidate behaves during the assessment. The candidate’s behaviour during the assessment reveals much relevant information. It becomes a sample of her general behaviour and personality characteristics.

Relevant behavioral observations include physical appearance (any unusual features relating to facial expression, clothes, mannerisms, and movements), behaviours toward the tasks and the examiner (interest, lethargy, anxiety, hostility, friendliness), and the degree of cooperation (active or passive participation).

Behavioral observations should be concise, specific and relevant. If a description does not serve to develop some insight about the person or demonstrate patterns, then it should not be included.

Tests

Selection of tests is influenced by the nature of the referral question. Tests are usually divided into three main classes: intelligence, personality and projective.

The most used intelligence test is the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale (WAIS). A version of this test validated for the Indian population is available. It provides separate verbal IQ and performance IQ scores, as well as total IQ scores. Scores on various combinations of subscales provide clues about capacity or incapacity, such as proficiency or difficulty in language, computation or sequencing events. Very often academic results and proficiency tests, such as the College Entrance Test, can reflect intellectual capacities without having to do time-consuming intelligence tests.

There are a number of commonly used personality tests. More famous among these are the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI), The Millon Clinical Index of Personality (MCMI), Millon Index of Personality Styles (MIPS), 16PF. The MMPI is skewed toward psychopathology, that is, it is more useful in picking up mental and emotional problems rather than giving a general personality profile. The MCMI provides both a general personality profile, as well as indicates presence or absence of psychopathology. The MIPS and the 16PF are very useful to learn about interests and motive forces.

Among the projective tests are the Rorschach (ROR), Thematic Apperception Test (TAT), Projective Drawings (PD) and a variety of Sentence Completion Tests (SCT). Projective techniques in general, and the Rorschach in particular, are useful to gain information about unconscious forces and drives, which the Personality tests are not capable of providing.

A 1982 survey found that some of these tests mentioned here were among the 10 most frequently used tests. In rank order, these were: the MMPI, WAIS, ROR, SCT, TAT, and the PD.

An assessment protocol would have one or two tests from all three categories – intelligence, personality and projective.

The Salesian Psychological Association (SPA) South Asia, whose members have been involved in psychological assessment for some years, has come up with the following test protocol, which has been found useful in gaining relevant information in the context of assessment of pre-novices and other candidates to religious life and priesthood.

Sentence Completion Test (SCT)

Draw-A-Person Test (DAP)

Kinetic House-Tree-Person Test (KHTP)

Millon Index of Personality Styles (MIPS)

Assessment of Spirituality and Religious Sentiments (ASPIRES)

In case the analysis of the results of these tests indicate presence of serious psychopathology, then the more diagnostic, and more time consuming, MCMI and ROR would be administered at a later stage.

Sentence Completion Test (SCT). This free association test provides information about general dispositions and interests and significant clinical material in four representative areas of adjustment. These four areas are family, sex, interpersonal relations, and self-concept. It also helps to confirm information gained from the other tests in this battery.

Draw-A-Person (DAP). In this projective test the subject is asked to draw a person. When this is completed, she is asked to draw a person of the opposite gender than the one she drew first. The most central assumption behind interpretation of human-figure drawings is that they represent the artist or some aspect of the artist. Although their reliability and validity are questionable, they provide information which, when used along with data from other sources, is interpretatively helpful.

Kinetic- House-Tree-Person Test (K-H-T-P). In this test, the subject is asked to draw a house, a tree and a person with some kind of action happening. The house, as a dwelling place, has been found to arouse within the subject associations concerning home life and inter-familial relationships. The drawing of the tree appears to reflect relatively deeper and more unconscious feelings about oneself. The drawing of a person tends to elicit expressions of oneself in terms of self-image, body image, and ability to deal with the world effectively. The action indicates the subject’s relationship or attitude toward the three entities in the picture.

Millon Index of Personality Styles Revised (MIPS-Revised).This inventory is a 180-item, True/False questionnaire designed to measure personality styles of normally functioning adults between the ages 18 and 65+. This test has 24 scales grouped into 12 pairs, and each pair contains two juxtaposed scales. The 12 pairs are organized into three major areas: Motivating Styles, Thinking Styles, and Behaving Styles. There are also three validity indicators: Positive Impression, Negative Impression, and Consistency.

Assessment of Spirituality and Religious Sentiments (ASPIRES). This cross-culturally validated (including India) test measures two dimensions of numinous (related to the sacred) functioning: Religious Sentiments (RS) and Spiritual Transcendence (ST). RS is composed of two domains. The first, Religiosity, reflects how actively a person is involved in performing various religious rituals and activities. The second, Religious Crisis, examines whether a person may be experiencing problems, difficulties, or conflicts with God and/or faith community. ST represents a motivational construct that reflects an individual’s effort to create a broad sense of personal meaning for one’s life.

Millon Clinical Multiaxial Inventory – III (MCMI-III). This is a standardized questionnaire comprising 175 true-false statements. It is an effective instrument for screening for personality disorders and mental illness. It has separate scales for Clinical Personality Patterns, Severe Personality Pathology, Clinical Syndromes (Neurotic Disorders) and Severe Syndromes (Psychotic Disorders). There is also a Validity scale which shows the test-taking attitudes.

The Rorschach (ROR). The overall goal of the Rorschach Inkblot Test, the most sophisticated of the tests described here and the most time-consuming, is to assess the structures of the personality, with particular emphasis on understanding the unconscious manner in which one responds to and organizes one’s environment. It provides information especially about thinking style, emotional expression, self-image, interpersonal relations, and capacity to cope with stress.

Taken together, these tests can provide sufficient relevant information about the personality structure of candidates and their interests that can be used effectively to enhance the formation process. (To be concluded in the next issue)

In the next issue:

The second part of this article will deal with:

• The Assessment Process—administering the tests, scoring it, interpreting the results, preparing the report, communicating the results;
• Assessment as a Formative Tool;
• Assessment and Vocational Discernment.

10 Tips for Formators

1. Use psychological assessment as not just a screening and selection tool, but as a highly effective formative accompaniment tool.
2. Select psychologists carefully. Check their qualification and experience.
3. Inquire about the tests psychologists use and their assessment methodology.
4. Ask psychologists for a sample report of work they have done previously.
5. Insist on personal feedback to the candidate and to yourself.
6. Follow up on the recommendations in the assessment report.
7. Create together with the candidate a formation plan based on the feedback.
8. With the written consent of the candidate arrange for a feedback to the novice mistress/master.
9. Ensure confidentiality about all matters related to the assessment.
10. Educate yourself on assessment and other psychological services by reading and attending seminars.

 

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 A very common problem many people face—with practical solutions. Information and tips for all of us, especially those in charge of helping others, such as parents, teachers, formators and superiors.

 Nineteen-year-old Sheila blushes easily, and hardly opens her mouth in groups. She feels embarrassed in new settings, and thinks that all the others are waiting to criticise her.

• “No, ask somebody else,” replies Ravi to any invitation to speak in public. Some of his classmates consider Ravi a nice and unassuming guy, but others feel annoyed at his reluctance to take up any initiative.
• Usha is always dressed in the latest and most fashionable type of clothes. She looks smart and confident, but few know that she is scared of being “beaten” by anyone else. Usha will feel lost without her expensive clothes and cosmetics.

All of us experience feelings of inadequacy and doubt our self-worth occasionally. This is normal. But, if my sense of inadequacy cuts me off from people, prevents me from giving my best, or makes me see others as a threat, it is high time I do something about it.

Feelings of inferiority start from the way others treat us. Most of our feelings about ourselves stem from how we were treated by significant people in our lives. The pet names, caresses, teasing, nicknames, fondling and neglect of our childhood years lead to positive or negative feelings in us.

Parents and other care-givers may easily forget that the greatest need of a child or adolescent is not a rank in class or expensive clothes, but the experience of being wanted, loved and appreciated. It is not our limitations that produce feelings of inferiority in us, but the way we feel about our limitations. and that, in its turn, depends mostly on how others (in our early years) reacted to our limitations.

REACTIONS TO INFERIORITY FEELINGS

There are basically two ways of reacting to feelings of inferiority: resignation and compensation.

Resignation is evident in the case of twenty-six-year-old Sr Janette, who works in a school office. Friends and superiors have tried to entrust more responsible jobs to her, but Janette feels convinced that she cannot do better. “I can’t, I am no good at it,” is her most spontaneous reaction.

Can people like Janette be helped? The answer is an emphatic Yes. She can be helped by others and still more by herself. What she needs is reassurance (in the form of sincere praise and encouragement), the experience of success (this is where she can help herself) and a change in perspective to see the good in herself.

Compensation

Some try to “compensate” for feelings of inadequacy. This can take place in a variety of ways, some of them helpful, others destructive.

Wilma Rudolph, the record-setting U.S. sprinter, had polio, and was left with a limp. She worked on her weak point and became a world-class champion. At the Rome Olympics (1960) she won three medals.

Motilal, a student I knew, was noted for his excellent physique and athletic prowess. When I expressed admiration for his physique, he told me that he had been puny and weak till the age of fourteen. With regular exercise, which involved a demanding schedule of work, rest and recreation, he turned his weak body into an athletic marvel.

That is why another type of compensation is more common. It is indirect, but no less commendable than the first type.

It is seen in Air Force Cadet Prasad, who was poor in sports and outdoor activities and felt inferior to the others. But soon he discovered a field in which he could achieve brilliance; he developed a fantastic memory for names, dates and figures, and became well known for his feats of memory.

A third type of compensation is the case of Robert. He is poor in studies and feels like a nobody at school. To get even, he has become defiant at home. At least this way he is taken notice of. Not very different is the approach taken by Jason. He is sixteen and strong enough to beat up the smaller boys. He is building up a new name – as a bully. He feels scared of bigger people, frightened before examinations. But he feels powerful in front of the children he is able to subdue.

Miriam has found another escape from her sense of inferiority. She does not understand much in a discussion and feels lost. To cover up her confusion, she starts arguing and never gives in. People have realized that it is no use discussing with Miriam. She just won’t give in or look at the other side of the argument. She has to win at all costs.

Jason, Robert, and Miriam have fallen into a dangerous trap—self-deception. Their attempt at escaping from an inferiority complex is by suppressing their real feelings. None of them faces up to the real problem – the sense of inadequacy and fear they experience. The inferiority complex remains, and may even get worse.

People who are obstinate like Miriam, or bullies like Jason, or defiant like Robert are basically very insecure people. Their self-confidence is abysmally low. They are afraid of being “found out” for what they really are. It is not strength but fear that pushes them into destructive behaviour. Unless they admit the real problem and tackle it, their lives will be marked by conflicts, violence and deep loneliness. When such people hold positions of power, they tend to treat those “under” them very harshly. They fear questions. They see personal attacks where there are none. It is a torment to work under an insecure leader who compensates by being a bully. This can happen in both religious and secular settings. After all, whatever the setting, the main factor is human beings dealing with other human beings.

FROM INFERIORITY TO CONFIDENCE

Here are eight practical steps for moving from inadequacy to self-confidence.

1. Find out the causes.

There are surely causes and aggravating factors—like cruel teasing, or unfair comparisons or constant nagging. It is not enough to say: “I think I suffer from an inferiority complex.” Ask yourself: In which area do I feel inadequate or inferior (or shy or afraid)? Nobody feels inferior in every area of life, nor confident in all fields.  Can I recall any particular episode or repeated experiences which triggered these feelings for the first time? Tracing the origin is half the solution.

2. Improve in your areas of weakness.

You may or may not be another Wilma Rudolph or another Motilal, but you can probably do a great deal to improve your present level of achievement – whether it be in health, studies, sports, public speaking or hobbies. And while you are at it, do not compare yourself unfavourably with others, saying, “Oh, I’m still behind so-and-so,” but rather take stock of the successes you achieve, however small they may be. Comparisons are put-downs. Success motivates people more than others’ encouragement.

3. Develop other talents.

You have them in plenty. We make use of only a small part (perhaps not even ten percent) of our resources. So, even if you do not succeed in one line, there are a hundred other fields in which you can succeed. As a general rule, concentrate on what you can do well—not on your mistakes. Thus, Susan does not shine in academics, but is wonderful in relating to people. Mohan is not a great public speaker, but many people approach him, since he is a great listener.

4. Never put yourself down.

Neither modesty nor good manners demands that. Be reasonably proud of—better, grateful for—your achievements and thank God for your talents and successes. People who have a healthy sense of their talents and worth do not stoop to boasting or bullying; the reason is they don’t feel inferior or hungry for attention. So, too, just because you made a mistake, don’t say, “I am stupid, I am useless.” You are not. Everyone makes mistakes. You can learn from them.

5. Set realistic goals.

One way of putting yourself down is to set unrealistic goals and aim at being perfect in a short while. If you will accept nothing but flawless performance from yourself (or others) you will feel frustrated and worthless.

6. Do not view others as rivals.

Each of us has unique talents and unique opportunities—and unique problems and limitations. Why add to our troubles by comparing ourselves with others and living only to compete and defeat? We cannot all shine in every field. So, do not take the other person’s success as a sign of your failure. Your worth is not measured by the number of people you feel superior to. It is something deeply personal.

7. Develop your own convictions.

If you are forever trying to please others, or to live up to their expectations, you will never feel secure or confident. Even the slightest sign of disapproval will be enough to throw you into consternation. If, instead of trying to impress others, you clarify your values and priorities, and devote yourself to something you really believe in, you will not only do much good. Your self-confidence will sky-rocket.

Doctor Steve, a friendly, helpful and competent person I used to know, is a vibrant proof of this belief. His self-esteem was so low, he told me, “that I could have crawled under a closed door.” He became a happy and outgoing person, engaged in helping others discover their worth. When I met him, he was an effective and caring counsellor.

This counsellor and others like him give encouraging confirmation to the view held by many experts that “you grow most where you are hurt most.”

8. Develop a faith-fuelled vision

God created you and put you on this earth for a mission. God has given you all the gifts you need for that mission. You are not a copy of someone else, and your task is not to look like others, or compete with them, or outshine anyone. You have more than enough gifts and opportunities to reach your goals, overcome your limitations, develop your potential, achieve more than you think.

You are blessed if you have a parent, teacher, counsellor, formator or religious superior who looks at you through this faith-fuelled vision. They will not compare you with others, or put you down for being less gifted than someone else, or focus on your weakness. No! They will remember their own journey of growth from fear to confidence and from insecurity to trust, and support you as you try to come out of your insecurities and face the world. Such persons are a blessing. They look at you through the loving eyes of God, and rejoice at your growth. They want you to grow, shine, get recognized. They are not jealous of your success. No! They long to build you up.

For God, each of us is an original, not a copy. Your worth lies in seeing yourself as God’s precious son or daughter, discovering the precious gifts God has given you, and using them to do the good you can. You know you are loved and cared for. You trust. You do not waste time comparing yourself with others.

Confidence, serenity and enthusiasm follow. Others’ gifts and success are not a threat to you. You are a person of unique worth—just like everyone else.

This living sense of your importance for God is the greatest source of self-confidence and inner strength—and a sure protection against anxiety, arrogance and unhealthy comparisons.

God does not create junk. Nor does God want us to see ourselves or treat ourselves as junk. The same goes for everyone one else, too.

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Here are short prayers from the heart written by female undergraduates from various religions.  We thank Sr Mariola Sequeira MSA for meeting with the students and gathering these prayers. Note two lovely traits: Many of the prayers show a deep sense of gratitude to God and the desire to be good persons.

Oh Lord, I thank you for giving me such a beautiful life. I thank you for giving me happiness. I thank you for giving me parents and friends for overcoming my loneliness. Thank you, Lord! I want to thank you for each and everything you have given to me in my life.

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Lord, you have made the Sun to rule over the day, and Moon to rule over the night. You are my merciful Father. I believe that I receive what I ask in your name, Lord. Today I thank you for being there for me always. I will always adore you and worship you, Amen

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Loving Sweet Jesus, thank you for all the blessings you have showered on me at every moment of my life, whether good or bad. Thank you for being such a nice friend who knows my mistakes, my weaknesses but still accepts me and is always ready to help me whenever I need. Thank you for being a reason for a smile on my face. This life may be full of sins and disappointments, but with you I can overcome any obstacle. I love you Jesus. Praise you for all the miracles you have done in my life. Amen.

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Almighty God, words cannot describe, and my little actions cannot define, the mercy you have showered upon us. Today with all my heart and mind I would like to ask you for one most important thing, my father. Please, once again establish peace and bring your kingdom to this earth. Amen.

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Oh Lord, I your humble child, come into your presence to ask for forgiveness for all the bad I have done to others and to myself.  Lord, keep your loving and guiding hand on me and please forgive me. Amen.

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Lord, please help all the poor people. Always stay with me, Lord. Bless me and my family. Oh, Heavenly Father, please help the girl child.

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Baba, you have always been the best part of me and my life. Thank you for all the little things that you do and the wishes that you fulfill even if I forget them. I just wanna pray: always be at my side in all the happiness, joy and sorrow. I love you; you are my best friend.

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Dear God, I would like to tell you that I really don’t like asking for myself, so I would rather ask you to protect my mamma, daddy, and my younger sister and would like to thank you for making me fall in love with music. Keep loving us.

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Thank you, God, for giving me a beautiful life. Thank you, God, for being with me. Thank you for giving me a loving family and friends. Thank you, God, for my happiness. Thank you, God, for loving me. Thank you, Lord.

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