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For our cover story, we interviewed Fr Jerry Rosario SJ, who has donated blood a whopping 194 times—possibly the highest number in India! He has also been active in promoting blood and organ donation.  Anyone who knows Fr Jerry will know his enthusiasm, simple life, commitment to helping people and spreading awareness about urgent human issues.—Editor

01       How did you get into blood donation and, eventually, also into promoting blood and organ donation?

Way back in 1972, when I had just completed my Jesuit Novitiate, I was called upon to donate blood to a poor rural youth by name Murugan who had lost a huge quantity of blood from continuous vomiting.  A few days later, I learnt that my timely blood-gift had saved his life. Though this experience did make a deep personal impact on me, the turning point came with a missed opportunity.

Once, because of some urgent work, I could not go to the hospital to donate blood to Fr Coyle, an Irish Jesuit priest, who needed immediately a post-surgery transfusion. A professional donor took my place, but Fr Coyle died from transfusion-related complications. There and then, I vowed to seek chances to donate blood rather than wait to be asked.

By the way, science has advanced immensely so as to manufacture substitutes or alternatives practically for everything—but not for blood. That means when somebody dies due to non-availability of blood, the potential donors, in a way, have unconsciously and indirectly caused it.

What is the situation in our country? India stands in need of at least 12 million units of blood a year—at the time of medical surgery, delivery, emergency and calamity. Alas, it receives only 78 lakhs. We say, “The blood of the martyrs is the seed of our Faith.” Now we could add: Our faith that has grown “works only when we supply blood to others-in-need” (James 2:14-17).

You may remember that the year 2005 was declared as a Special Year of the Eucharist by Pope St. John Paul II. That year saw me releasing a book ‘This is My Body, This is My Blood,’ highlighting not only the Eucharistic life of Christ Jesus but also the Eucharistic human organ donations that we could possibly make, both before and after death.

In 2007, the Tamil Nadu-Pondicherry Catholic Bishops’ Conference, after a session of mine on this noble focus, issued a special Pastoral Letter to be read in all parishes of its region, exhorting human donations. In 2009, as a Creative Jesuit Ministry, the Dhanam Movement was registered to propagate and promote human donations. Dhanam is the Tamil rendition of daan (donation) in Sanskrit. The motto is that ‘all may have life and that, too, in fullness’ (Jn.10.10).

Over the years, the Dhanam movement has organized 450 camps and 630 conferences, big and small, both in urban and rural areas and institutions, to promote blood and organ donations. The awareness is picking up at an encouraging pace. But still, there are miles to go.

02       How many times have you donated blood? For whom?

If you had asked me this question some years back, I would‘ve by-passed it. Till I crossed 100 or so, I did hesitate to talk about my blood donation count. Then I was advised to speak about it so that others can also come forward. Up to May-2018, I have donated blood 194 times. Quite possibly I stand first in our country, having donated that number of FULL UNITS OF BLOOD (not just parts of blood, like platelets).

God has blessed me with one of the rarest blood groups, O-Rh Negative. Accordingly, out of all the donations I have made, sixty-seven were done at the time of delivery for the new-born babies, particularly when they were found affected by the incompatibility of blood groups of their parents. If so, they all are “blood of my blood,” my beloved children, so to say!

Another group was poor cancer patients. I donated my blood for them fifty-five times. It is always advisable to donate blood preferably to the patients at Government General Hospitals and to Red Cross Society and to the terminally-ill. Simple reason: Our blood can also be a “Good News to the poor,” who generally flock to the general hospitals. Moreover, the Government meets the expenses that are incurred for blood-tests before transfusion. That too benefits the last and the least (Mt.25.40)…

 

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Fr Jerry Rosario SJ

(jerrysj1@gmail.com)

Meaning matters—for our emotional and even physical well-being. How do we find it? The author shares relevant insights from psychology—including a study of parents whose children were murdered.  Could they construct a meaningful life after such horrendous tragedy?

“I don’t find any meaning in my life. I wonder why I am living like this—just drearily surviving from day to day. Sometimes I wish I were dead,” said the 28-year old Kamala during a personal meeting during a seminar.

 

Kamala is not the only one who feels this way. There are many like her who find it difficult to experience a sense of meaning and purpose in life. Quite a few of these gradually sink into clinical depression and think of ending their life—and even attempt to do so.

Recent research on health and happiness show that a sense of meaning in life is one of the major contributors to emotional and physical wellbeing. Emotionally healthy persons find life a meaningful adventure. They have something that gives meaning and significance to their life, such as a belief system, a dream, a commitment. According to the pioneering personality psychologist, Gordon Allport, “one of the key challenges to maturity is to invest daily life with meaning—to find or create opportunities to make our lives matter.”

Dreams and goals matter—especially intrinsic goals

To make our lives matter, we need to have dreams, something we feel passionate about and pursue with interest. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychologist…

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Fr. Jose Parappully SDB

This Indian, who, I am sure, must be very close to God, is not a Christian. When Kailash Satyarthi was born, he was named Kailash Sharma. Sharma is a common surname among Brahmins in India and Nepal. How did Kailash Sharma become Kailash Satyarthi? ‘Satyarthi,’ by the way, means ‘seeker of truth.’

What made him change his name?

Barred from his own kitchen and dining room

Not merely his admiration for Mahatma Gandhi but also something that happened when he, as a young man, organized a dinner for ‘high caste’ people. He let it be known that the food that would be served would be cooked by Dalits. None of the leaders turned up. But it didn’t stop with that. They went on to threaten that he and his family would be excommunicated. If they wanted to save themselves from excommunication, he should take a holy dip in the Ganges, and organize a feast for 101 Hindu priests, wash their feet and drink that water. Kailash refused and so was barred from entering the kitchen and the dining hall in his own house and was forced to use his own utensils. Kailash Sharma chose to renounce his caste and the entire caste system and changed his name to Kailash Satyarthi…

 

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Fr M.A. Joe Antony SJ

(339-397 CE)

“The Emperor is within the Church, not above it…  I say this with all humility, so also, I state it with firmness.  Some threaten us with fire, sword, exile; we have learnt as servants of Christ not to fear.”

 (Letter XXI, no. 37—Sermon against Auxentius)

Ambrose of Milan is well known for his role in the conversion of Augustine.  At the same time, a close reading of his life reveals a political spirituality which offers us insights for dealing with modern day situations.  The above-mentioned quote forms part of a sermon opposing the attempt by emperor Valentinian to take over the Portian Basilica in Milan.  The emperor was only fourteen years old; real power lay with his mother Justina, who was an Arian.  She sought to strengthen Arianism in Milan by bringing the Arian bishop Auxentius and wanted to offer him the Portian Basilica—a Basilica used by the Catholics.  After three unsuccessful attempts to usurp the basilica, the emperor and his mother gave up their efforts.  This and other incidents from Ambrose’s life led to the emergence of a spirituality of political engagement which demarcated the domains of both, the church and the state.

Ambrose was born into a political family in the year 339. His father was the praefectus praetorio in Gaul.  They had been Christians for generations and among their ancestors was the martyr Soteris.  However, in keeping with tradition, Ambrose delayed his baptism until he was an adult.  A good education in philosophy, rhetoric and literature prepared him for the juridical service of the state. By 370 he was the governor of a province which had Milan as its capital.  In 374, while exercising his duties in enforcing order during the election of a new bishop, he himself was unanimously elected as the bishop by the different factions of the city.

 

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Interviewed for MAGNET by Sr Celine Vas, our associate editor, eighty-seven-year old Sr Pauline Yadav, a Medical Mission Sister, tells us her story, adding perceptive insights into religious life, the differences she sees between older and younger religious, and what she learnt from inspiring leaders. How did Padmavathi Yadav, eldest daughter of civil surgeon Dr Parmanand Yadav and Shantha Devi, become Sr Pauline Yadav?

Sr Celine: Sr Pauline, you hail from Agra. That you are the only Catholic as well as a religious nun from your family fascinates me. What made it possible?

Sr Pauline: Yea, frankly speaking, those years we did not come across any Catholics in our area. The occasional Catholic we came across was someone from the tribal belt seeking employment in posh houses and farms. My dad, a civil surgeon,  knew some priests and nuns. I did not know any of them, as I was too small. I lost my mother when I was just three years old. I was then shifted to Dehradun for my kindergarten. My dad married again. His second wife was a lady from Gwalior who had lost her husband and had a daughter and a son. They joined our family.  I continued my study at St Thomas School at Dehradun.  When I completed my schooling…

 

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Sr. Celine

 A close look at ‘The Transplantation of Human Organs and Tissues Act, 1994’ (THOTA-1994)

‘Organ Transplantation Technology’ offers a gift of life to patients suffering from terminal stage of organ failure diseases.  Every person who dies naturally or in an accident is a potential donor.  Given the statistics of accidents in present days, there are enough human organs available to transplant.  Yet, innumerable patients cannot find a generous donor.  The shortage of organs for transplantation is virtually a universal phenomenon, including India.  Many do not come forward for organ donation because of the lack of awareness, coupled with prevalent myths and fears.  Creating awareness among the people on the importance of organ donation and motivating them is possible by providing accurate information on the issue.  Here is a humble attempt to impart information on the provisions of the primary legislation, namely, “The Transplantation of Human Organs and Tissues Act, 1994” (hereafter THOTA-1994).

What is Organ Donation?

“Organ Donation” is a voluntary gift of one’s organ (includes organs and tissues) wherein the donor authorizes it to be removed legally while donor is alive or after death for the purpose of transplantation.  “Transplantation” means the grafting of any human organ from any living or deceased person to some other living person for therapeutic purposes.  A healthy transplantable organ may be donated to be implanted into the body of another person in order to save or greatly enhance the life of the recipient.  Some human organs can be donated by living donors, such as, a kidney or part of the liver, part of the pancreas, part of the lungs or part of the intestines…

 

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Ravi Sagar SJ*

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE to MISSION COMPLETE

While thirty-two International Teams were battling it out in state-of-the-art stadiums in Russia for close to a month for the prestigious 21st edition of the quadrennial WORLD CUP 2018, twelve young Thai football players from the “MOO PA” (Wild Boars) football team, along with their coach, Ekaphol Chantawong, were struggling for survival. They were trapped on 23^rd June inside a dingy and cold six-mile long Tham Luang cave in the treacherous Doi Nang Non mountain range.  Termed as “Mission Impossible,” the 17-day ordeal to rescue the youngsters, definitely gripped the attention of the world.  Ninety expert SEAL divers—40 from Thailand and 50 from other nations—as well as thousands of paramedics and volunteers, battled against time and inclement weather conditions. SEAL divers braved rising waters and manoeuvred through dangerous labyrinth-like tunnels to rescue the players and their coach. “Mission Complete” on 10^th July 2018 on Thai Navy SEALS Facebook page stated, “We are not sure if this is a miracle, science or what. All the 13 Wild Boars are now out.”

In the midst of all this jubilation and celebration of courage and hope, one cannot forget the sacrifice made by a thirty-eight-year-old Thai navy SEAL diver, Saman Gunan. “He completed his task of delivering three oxygen tanks, but lost consciousness on his return trip, as his ran out of oxygen” reported a Thai SEAL. No greater love than one laying down his life for another. This is the miracle of the Tham Luang cave rescue. SEAL commander Arpakorn Yookonkaew rightly stated, “We won’t let the life lost be wasted. In his death, they found greater courage and determination in the next three days to change “Mission Impossible” to “Mission Complete.” His wife, Waleeporn Gunan, summed up her husband’s life in these words, “He loved helping others…

 

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Fr. Glenford Lowe SDB

I was invited for a Hindi movie recently. It was an offer I willingly declined at first. I really wasn’t too excited. I know the storyline of any Bollywood movie. The songs, the dances, the colour, the costumes, the same old sequence between hero and heroine. But, I was assured that Hichki would be different. The story centres around an aspiring teacher, Naina Mathur (played by Rani Mukerji), and a batch of fourteen unruly 9th class students in an elite school.

“There are no bad students, only bad teachers,” Naina says off the cuff. Life was hard on her. She suffers from Tourette Syndrome (TS), a neurological disorder that causes repetitive and involuntary movements or ‘tic’ noises. Despite this embarrassing medical condition  which neither the management nor the students understand, Naina is determined to be a teacher—and a good one.  At home, her life revolves around her ever-dominating father with his own dream for Naina, the silent presence of her mother and a charming brother at her side to comfort her. At school the dynamics are more hostile! She must face the ruthless slum kids with their annoying behaviour, and the ridicule and jealousy by the elite management of the prestigious St. Notker’s school. The movie has its twists and turns. The great turn is in the lives of the fourteen kids! Naina and the kids make the classroom a playground of inner transformation.

You and I can do the same. How?

Education is real when it is inclusive, inspiring and introspective. Education must be a level-playing ground where all are treated as one. Teacher Naina reaches out to those students on the periphery and challenges them to compete with the very best. The marginalised ones accept the challenge and out-beat the others. A quote from the movie puts us in the right perspective, Ek aam teacher padhata hai … ek acha teacher samjhata hai …. Bahut acha teacher ho toh khud karke batata hai … lekin kuch teachers hote hai joh humein inspire karke jaate hai zindagi bhar ke liye (“An ordinary teacher teaches… a good teacher explains … a very good teacher shows an example by doing it himself… but there are some teachers who inspire us for our entire life!”)

No Student a Failure:

The scholastic year 2018-19 has started. The SSC/HSC results have been declared. The successful ones were embraced with smiles, sweets and songs. Those who ‘failed’ faced shame, scorn and shouts. Ten years of education and to be told you didn’t make it, labelled for ever a ‘failure’—what a parody! In ancient Greece, Socrates argued that education was about drawing out what was already within the student. (As many of you know, the word education comes from the Latin e-ducere, meaning “to draw out”). Ten years of ‘drawing out’ and to find out that there was nothing that could be drawn out! Empty from the start. Education can never be measured by written exams backed up by the curriculum, assessments, classroom arrangement, books and computers. Hichki again has a beautiful quote to reflect upon: School ke bahar jab zindagi imtihaan leti hai…toh subject wise nahi leti… (“Outside of school, when life takes an exam, it doesn’t do it subject-wise!”)

 We often marginalize students because of their intellectual capacity, their social status and economic background. No student is empty from the start. There is an abundant wellspring, a sleeping giant, an unpolished diamond that dwells within every student. Education is about drawing that out. Failing to draw that out is failure on the part of the educator. Eric Hoffer rightly says: “The central task of education is to implant a will and facility for learning; it should produce not learned but learning people. The truly human society is a learning society, where grandparents, parents, and children are students together.” As religious, we run the best schools in the country! But sadly, we run the risk of running after ‘success in examinations’ rather than creating a society of learners whose minds are open and dare to question the ‘why’ and the ‘why not’?

A NEW WAY OF EDUCATING:

Classrooms can easily become prisons rather than palaces, agony more than ecstasy, and above all institutions for conformity rather than a home for growth. A third of a student’s day is desk-bound. Education is more a matter of the heart than an intellectual quest to satisfy. Based on the movie Hichki, here are a few tips to make your classroom a playground of inner goodness:

1. Make the classroom a home:

Manage with the mind, but lead with the heart. Know that the sacred lives of the students have been entrusted into your care. Know them by name rather than by a number on the roll call. Students don’t care how much you know. They want to know how much you care!!! Love makes the classroom a home.

2. Be fair, not partial:

Be fair! It’s not easy. Treat all students fairly. You are their teacher; you rightly belong to everyone. Be all inclusive. But, at the same time, befriend the ‘difficult’ ones. They are the ones who need you most.

3. Deal with disruptions lovingly:

Students will always be students. They will—without malice-disrupt and distract your class. Remember: A rebellious student is an insecure student. Find time after class to give attention to them by building confidence in them by ‘giving a word in the ear.’ Correct them with love. A small word can transform the climate of your class and school. Don Bosco, the great educator, believed in the power of the ‘word in the ear.’

4. Deal with discipline issues privately:

The classroom must be a second home—not a battle ground for winners and losers. Order and discipline is necessary in your class. Be human and deal with discipline issues privately than cause a student to ‘lose face’ in front of his/her friends.

5. Use humour, not sarcasm:

Poor teachers confuse good humour with sarcasm. While humour can quickly diffuse a situation, sarcasm may harm your relationship with the students. Use your best judgment, but realize that what some people consider funny, others may find offensive.

6. Motivate for excellence:

Students are not stupid. They are only sleeping giants. Trigger the need for excellence and draw out

the best in each student. Mediocrity is never a benchmark. Be a coach, not a referee!

7. Use time and space creatively:

Let your classroom be a learning laboratory. Remember your kindergarten days…. Learning is maximum in an atmosphere of fun and creativity. Text books limit creativity. Technology has shortened the learning timespan. Students have more time on their hands. Invest in creative activity – even beyond the walls of the classroom!

8. Create a family spirit:­

Develop collaborate rather than competitive learning. Invite the bright students to adopt a weaker

student. To go higher, students need to learn to pick up the other.

9. Make rules understandable:

Every rule defends a value. Let students know why a rule is set in place. Purposeful students are open to learn better. You play the parent figure. Help the student to know that discipline is not the enemy of freedom. Make no compromises when it comes to discipline. There is freedom in discipline!

10. Give primacy to God:

All learning is futile if, at the end of the day, we do not become more loving human beings. While we feed the intellect, we need to nourish the heart and the soul. Have a primacy for God in your life and your students too will become more God-loving. Your classroom must create a sense of the sacred and a respect for people of all faiths and religious traditions.

What difference will you make to your students in 2018-2019? May it be beautiful and lasting.

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Pope Francis’ Formula for Holiness

Pope Francis released an Apostolic Exhortation entitled, Gaudete et Exsultate (Rejoice and be Glad) on 9 April 2018. Normally, an Apostolic Exhortation arrives after a synod. Often, they’re written following a gathering of bishops, known as a synod—but not always, as was the case with Gaudete et Exsultate. Some experts put apostolic exhortations third in the rank of papal documents, after apostolic constitutions and encyclicals. Francis’ Gaudete et Exsultate will be his third apostolic exhortation, after Evangelii Gaudium, widely considered the roadmap of this pontificate, and Amoris Laetitia (On family). This document is basically a reflection of Vatican II’s universal call to holiness (Lumen Gentium 40). Here are the five basic themes of the document.

1. Be human, Be Holy

Holiness is not associated with the beatified or canonised alone. Francis mentions holiness of the ordinary, “saints next door.”  He sees holiness in those parents who raise their children with immense love, in those men and women who work hard to support their families, in the sick, and in elderly religious who never lose their smile. He calls it as a middle class of holiness (7). Doing works of mercy is higher to acts of worship. Francis invites us to holiness, invoking St. Thomas Aquinas to argue that “works of mercy towards our neighbour” give greater glory to God than even acts of worship (106). This is the holiness in being ordinary in an extraordinary way: St. Thérèse of Lisieux, the French Carmelite who found holiness in doing small tasks; St. Ignatius of Loyola, the Jesuit founder who sought to find God in all things; St. Philip Neri, the founder of the Oratorians, who was renowned for his sense of humour. Francis offers examples of everyday sanctity, like a loving parent raising a child; as well as “small gestures” and sacrifices that one can make, like deciding not to pass on gossip. He even mentions that saints are ordinary people, with lots of imperfections (22).

2. Misleading Views

Francis warns of two false forms of holiness that can lead us astray: Gnosticism and Pelagianism (35). The first is Gnosticism, from the Greek word gnosis, to know. Gnosticism is the old heresy that says that what matters most is what you know. No need to be charitable or do good works. All you need is the correct intellectual approach. Today Gnosticism tempts people to think that they can make the faith “entirely comprehensible” and leads them to want to force others to adopt their way of thinking. “When somebody has an answer for every question,” says Francis, “it’s a sign that they are not on the right road (41).” In other words, being a know-it-all is not going to save you. The second thing to avoid is Pelagianism, named after Pelagius, the fifth-century theologian associated with this idea. Pelagianism says that we can take care of our salvation through our own efforts. Pelagians trust in their own powers, don’t feel like they need God’s grace and act superior to others because they observe certain rules.

3. Humour and Holiness

Christian joy is usually accompanied by a sense of humour (126). Francis mentions three saints who had a sense of humour: Saint Thomas More, Saint Vincent de Paul and Saint Philip Neri. Ill-humour is no sign of holiness (126). He warns of an individualistic and consumeristic culture that offers passing pleasures of life. The real joy is in sharing and being shared. “There is more happiness in giving than in receiving” (Acts 20:35). “God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Cor 9:7). Francis puts it right when he mentions the beatitudes in one’s life. “The word “happy” or “blessed” thus becomes a synonym for “holy.” It expresses the fact that those faithful to God and his word, by their self-giving, gain true happiness (64).”

4. Beatitudes and Holiness

Pope Francis writes that “Jesus explained with great simplicity what it means to be holy when he gave us the Beatitudes (cf. Mt 5:3-12; Lk 6:20-23),” such that “the Beatitudes are like a Christian’s identity card” (63). The Beatitudes are a roadmap for holiness. As you might guess from the document’s title, the Beatitudes—“Blessed are you when…”—are central to this exhortation. The Beatitudes are not only what Jesus means by holiness, they are also a portrait of our Lord himself. So, we are called to be poor in spirit, meek, peacemakers, to hunger and thirst for righteousness, and so on. He concludes each beatitude with a simple and practical exhortation for all. For example: “Seeing and acting with mercy: that is holiness. (82).”

5. Formation to Holiness

What are the ways to be holy? Stated positively, the Christian should rather be patient and meek (112-121); joyful (122-128); bold and passionate (129-139); communitarian (140-146); and constantly prayerful (147-157). Pope Francis calls for following and becoming more like Jesus, a life-long effort which leads us to and is sustained by the Eucharist. To attain holiness, there is a spiritual battle that we need to face. “The Christian life is a constant battle. We need strength and courage to withstand the temptations of the devil and to proclaim the Gospel (158).” He encourages us to exercise the process of discernment in matters both small and great. Finally, Francis exhorts all to pray “in dialogue with the Lord, a sincere daily “examination of conscience (169).”

6. Quotable Quotes

No Individual Holiness: “In salvation history, the Lord saved one people. We are never completely ourselves unless we belong to a people. That is why no one is saved alone, as an isolated individual (6).”

Saints Next Door: “Very often it is a holiness found in our next-door neighbours, those who, living in our midst, reflect God’s presence. We might call them ‘the middle class of holiness’ (7).”

Helping hands better than chanting lips: “Here I think of Saint Thomas Aquinas, who asked which actions of ours are noblest, which external works best show our love for God. Thomas answered unhesitatingly that they are the works of mercy towards our neighbour, even more than our acts of worship (106).”

The devil is real: “Hence, we should not think of the devil as a myth, a representation, a symbol, a figure of speech or an idea (161).”

Humorous saints: “Far from being timid, morose, acerbic or melancholy, or putting on a dreary face, the saints are joyful and full of good humour (122).”

Contemplatives in Action: “It is not healthy to love silence while fleeing interaction with others, to want peace and quiet while avoiding activity, to seek prayer while disdaining service….. We are called to be contemplatives even in the midst of action, and to grow in holiness by responsibly and generously carrying out our proper mission (26).”

Jesus through Saints: “Every saint is a message which the Holy Spirit takes from the riches of Jesus Christ and gives to his people (21).”

Ordinary Holiness: “There are inspirations that tend solely to perfect in an extraordinary way the ordinary things we do in life (17).”

Imperfect Saints: “Not everything a saint says is completely faithful to the Gospel; not everything he or she does is authentic or perfect (22).”

Faithful to Our Deepest Self: “Do not be afraid of holiness. It will take away none of your energy, vitality or joy. On the contrary, you will become what the Father had in mind when he created you, and you will be faithful to your deepest self (32).”

True Happiness: “The word ‘happy’ or ‘blessed’ thus becomes a synonym for ‘holy.’. It expresses the fact that those faithful to God and his word, by their self-giving, gain true happiness (64).”

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Crystal shares with our readers what made her join a retreat team for women prisoners, and some of the heart-rending stories she came across.

“Oh my goodness, why in the world are you going into prison to give a retreat? Aren’t you afraid for your own safety?”  This has been the usual response I receive from well meaning friends and family members when I tell them that I have joined a group of women who present weekend retreats within the prison walls to women whose sentences range from one year to life imprisonment with no possibility of parole.

The Terrible World of Prison

To be honest, when a friend of mine initially invited me to join the prison ministry, my first reaction was guarded.  In our society, prisoners are a group of people for whom most people feel little sympathy. There is a general attitude that they deserve whatever unpleasant conditions they experience while incarcerated. It is easy for most of us to feel superior to the imprisoned, because we judge we would not have ever committed the crimes for which they are being held. Movies that portray the rough, brutal manner of prisoners continue the perception that they are of a lower class of human beings, without conscience or morals. How easily we all make the mistake of condemning people without realizing the individual circumstances that result in their imprisonment.  We who have no direct experience with anyone who is imprisoned can allow fear of violence and anger at brutality to keep our distance from ministering to them. We can think of prisoners as ‘them’, not as our brothers and sisters in Christ. How quickly my eyes were opened once I took the time to learn the truth.

The United States has the dubious distinction of being the leader in the number of people being held in prison, with 2.3 million people incarcerated. This sad statistic doesn’t reflect the individual causes of incarceration: prisons and jails are literally overflowing with poor, uneducated people, about half of whom suffer from mental health or substance abuse problems. Once I started reading about the true conditions in prison, I learned other alarming facts: “We’ve sent a quarter million kids to adult jails to serve long prison terms, some under the age of twelve. We’ve been the only country in the world that condemns children to life imprisonment without parole…We’ve given up on rehabilitation, education and services for the imprisoned because providing assistance to the incarcerated is apparently too kind and compassionate. We’ve institutionalized policies that reduce people to their worst acts and permanently label them ‘criminal,’ ‘murderer,’ ‘rapist,’ ‘thief,’ ‘drug-dealer’—identities they cannot change regardless of the circumstances of their crimes or any improvement they might make in their lives.” (Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson)

First Visit to the Prison

As I read these words, I was immediately reminded of the famous quote by Ricardo Sanchez: “The devil knows your name but calls you by your sin: God knows your sin but calls you by your name. “ As a sinner who will be forever grateful for the mercy of God in my own life, I was hooked. I joined the Kairos prison ministry and began preparations for my first retreat.

I will admit that when I entered prison for the first time I was initially a bit nervous.  As our group walked through the guard station and onto the grounds, I heard the click of the gates locking behind us and saw the barbed wire looming above.  As we walked through the prison campus, I noticed large groups of women being led by guards from one location to another. Here was my first surprise! Dressed in identical clothing of white shirts and blue pants, many were young, normal looking women who could just have easily been walking to their next high school gym class. Many waved and shouted hellos to us, knowing that we were coming as ‘friends’ for the retreat that only a few were lucky enough to be given permission to attend.

Once inside the gym, women started trickling in, looking for a place to sit. As I started to talk with them, I realized that they were more nervous than I was! I tried as much as possible to make them feel welcome before the retreat began, thanking them for coming and taking a chance on us old ‘church ladies.’  How quickly suspicion and fear melts away when we can sit with each other at a table and share a smile.

Stories of Pain and Hope

Throughout the next two days, eight of the retreat leaders stood up and witnessed how God’s love and mercy had changed their lives. One elderly woman, Ann, shared the pain of being sexually abused by her father beginning when she was seven years old, then being “shared” with his friends to pay for his alcohol addiction. Another woman, Mary, spoke of the grief she experienced when her father abandoned the family; her mother and siblings fell into a life of extreme poverty. Susan spoke of the shame she felt when her boyfriend coerced her into having an abortion, and the deep regret she felt for having done so once she became a Christian. Delilah shared that as a teenager she became hooked on drugs, which led her to into petty theft and imprisonment. One by one, these “church ladies” stepped up and shared that their lives had been filled with abuse, poverty, addictions and bad decisions.  But each story was also filled with the eventual awareness that God was there all along, loving them and giving them the grace to forgive themselves and those who harmed them.

As the retreat continued, the prisoners became more and more willing to share their own stories. Many had suffered both physical and sexual abuse, most had lived in poverty, and many were incarcerated for crimes that occurred while they were addicted to drugs or alcohol. Jane shared her story of how she was with her boyfriend who made a stop to buy drugs.  While she waited in the backseat of the car, she heard shots which she later learned left two men dead. She was serving thirty years in prison for “her part” in the crime.  Christina shared that she became hooked on drugs given to her by her father before he sexually assaulted her, and she later turned to prostitution to support her habit. Donna admitted that after she became addicted to heroine, she neglected her children and was sentenced to prison for endangering their lives. Their stories were all heart-breaking and sadly similar. They were raised in an environment filled with danger and with little or no exposure to faith.

By the end of the retreat, many of the women state that being imprisoned was in fact a blessing from God, as it was there that they had the opportunity to come clean from their addictions. Not only that, but for some it was the first time in their lives that they were exposed to reading the Bible, attending church services as well as being with other women who acted as Christian mentors for them.

In the closing ceremony, the retreat leaders form a circle and sing to all of the prisoners this song; “You are loved, you are beautiful. You are a gift from God, Love’s own creation. You are a gift to everyone… you are loved, God danced the day you were born.”  On that first retreat and all the others I have attended since, tears flow freely from every face, some tremendously moved that for the first time in their life, they truly understand that they are loved by God and by others, unconditionally. We exchange hugs and promises for prayers, believing that our sisters in Christ now understand that they are accepted and loved, by us and by God.

A few months ago, an elderly lady approached me in tears at the end of the retreat, saying, “Thank you so much for coming. In here, we are ‘offenders’ and are called by a number. You loved us and called us by our names.” I think that’s God way of winking at me and saying…. Carry on!

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