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What is specific to the balance sheet of a charitable trust with 12A?

In the previous issue we discussed the different kinds of financial statements and the various components of the balance sheet.  Now let’s see what is specific to a charitable trust with 12A.

A business company exists to make profit, but a charitable trust exists for charitable activities. Hence, what we call as “Profit and Loss Account” in the balance sheet of a business company, we call it “Income and Expenditure Account” in a charitable trust. What we call as “Profit” and “Loss” there, we call it “Surplus” or “Deficit” here. Thus, it is clear that charity, not profit,  is the focus of a charitable trust.  The balance sheet of a charitable trust is to be studied from this point of view.

What to Look For

What should we look for in such a balance sheet?

1. Find out the current year’s surplus or deficit. This can be found at the end of the Income and Expenditure Account as “excess of income over expenditure” or “excess of expenditure over income.”  The former is surplus and the latter, deficit.  Let’s remember that this is the surplus or deficit for the current year alone, after taking into consideration the annual income and expenditure. But what about the past years?  Hence, surplus or deficit of the current year alone does not mean much.

2. Find out the accumulated or net surplus or deficit until the present. The figure shown at the end of the Balance Sheet as “Income and Expenditure Account” is the accumulated or net surplus or deficit until the present.  This is the net of the balances carried forward over the years from the start of the balance sheet of the trust.  If the figure appears on the liabilities side, it is net surplus; if it appears on the assets side, it is net deficit. A net deficit here should open our eyes to examine the past years and learn the necessary lessons.

3. Find out the rate of interest on the investments of the trust. To get this data, we have to find out the total interest income of the trust for the year. This can be found on the “Income and Expenditure Account” page.  Then let us turn to the “Balance Sheet” and find out the total volume of the investments under the “Assets” side. Now calculate the rate of interest using the formula “interest/total investments*100.”  If the result is at par with or better than the prevailing bank interest, then it is good. If less, then we have to understand that something has gone wrong somewhere.   A lesser rate of interest would mean that we have large funds lying in the savings account, or one or more matured fixed deposits are not renewed or the interest cheques have not been received or what was received has not been deposited in the bank, etc. Thus we try to spot the mistakes and take corrective measures.

4. Check the total volume of the funds of the trust. Here we have to compare the present volume of the funds with that of the past and see if the total volume has increased or decreased. If it has decreased, why? While doing this, sufficient focus has to be given to check the volume of the corpus fund too. The corpus fund is the backbone of a trust and hence it is strongly recommended that every trust has its own corpus. Having sufficient corpus ensures the longevity of the trust and its activities. It is worth recalling here that all corpus donations (e.g., the endowment fund)  form part of the capital of the trust and they are fully tax exempt too!

5. Are the investments well diversified? The next point one has to consider is if the funds of the trust are spread out reasonably well. It is common sense that we do not invest the whole amount of money in the same bank or company or bond or mutual fund, lest we lose the entire capital due to some misfortune of the bank or company.

6. How is the cash flow of the trust? It is possible that a trust has a large volume of funds, but the whole lot is locked up in the fixed deposits or other illiquid investments. Once again, it is common sense that knowing the on-going needs of the trust, we have to set aside sufficient money in the savings account. But care is to be taken that we do not park more than what is needed in the savings account as it would lead to loss of a sizeable amount of interest.

7. Are the loans to be repaid and the recoverable loan within reasonable limits? Here we have to see if the loans to be repaid, which can be found under the liability side of the balance sheet and the loans to be recovered, which can be found under the asset side of the balance sheet, are within reasonable limits. A trust cannot overburden itself with a loan beyond its repaying capacity or with too many loans given out to its employees.  Since going overboard on either of these will affect the activities of the trust, we have to monitor both these elements regularly.

8. Proper attention to the above factors will mean that there is some financial planning in the trust. But is that all? The most important factor is to monitor regularly the obligation of the trust under section 11(2) of the income tax act, which stipulates that at least a total of 85% of the annual  income has to be utilized for the objectives of the trust. It is possible that in some years there is a shortfall to this target.  The shortfall can be due to factors such as a big donation is received towards the end of the year or  the trust got a large income in during the year or expenses are controlled and funds are saved for the purpose of a new building or property. Whatever be the reason, the income tax act gives a special provision for charitable trusts.  It gives a provision to set aside such excess or shortfall of the 85% to be used within the next five years. This is done with the resolution of the Body of Trustees (Board or Governing Body), giving the particular purpose(s) for which the funds are accumulated.

Attention may be needed here to see that no donation can be given out of the funds accumulated under section 11(2).   The beauty here is that with such an accumulation done, it is deemed that the trust has fulfilled its obligation of having to spend 85% of its annual income!   Here it is also to be noted that when this shortfall which is set aside under section 11(2) is utilized within the next five years, the trust cannot claim utilization again!

 

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“It behooves the priest to be as pure as if he stood in heaven…  Picture Elias and the immense multitude standing, while the prophet prays and fire descends…  In the sacrifice which is now offered the priest brings down not fire, but the Holy Spirit and prays that that grace may descend and inflame the souls of all.”

(On the Priesthood 3.4-6)

John (349-407 CE) received the honorific of ‘Chrysostom’ or ‘golden mouth’ because of his extraordinary oratorical gifts.  Only one more person, the bishop of Ravenna Peter Chrysologus (380-450) had this unique distinction; he was referred to as ‘golden word.”  John Chrysostom was brilliant, outspoken, direct and many of his sermons have survived to this day.

John was born into a well-to-do family in Antakya (Antioch) in Southern Turkey.  His father died when John was very young and his mother Anthusa, a devout woman, instilled in him a deep Christian faith and ensured he received an excellent education under the rhetorician Libanus, a non-Christian.  The exact year of his baptism is disputed (368 or 372).  After his baptism he studied Antiochene exegesis and later spent six years as a hermit.  His severe asceticism ruined his health and he had to return to the city.  On his return he was first made a deacon and later a priest in 386.  He was an extraordinary preacher and crowds flocked to hear his sermons.  After a difficult first year he had a serene period of intense pastoral work from 387 to 397.  In the year 397 he was made bishop of Constantinople and zealously worked for the people, especially the poor.  His life challenged the political class, the clergy and monks who had succumbed to laxity.  The so-called Synod of Oak dismissed him in 403 and the king decreed that he be exiled.  This was not carried out because of an accident in the imperial palace.  He continued to preach fearlessly.  However, in 404 the emperor signed a decree definitively exiling him to Armenia.  In 407 his opponents, who did not want him to have any contact with his friends, persuaded the emperor to send him farther away. During an extremely brutal deportation he died of exhaustion in Pontic Comana on the 14^th of September.

John Chrysostom is one of the most prolific Church Fathers with his most fruitful years being the years of his priestly ministry in Antioch.  He produced 67 homilies on Genesis, 59 on the Psalms, 88 on the Gospel of John, 90 on Mathew and smaller collections on other biblical books.  However, his specialty was St. Paul, on whom he gave more than 200 sermons.  Other works included seventeen treatises and two hundred and forty-one letters.  One of his best-known works is a treatise on The Priesthood which is arranged in six books and presented in the form of a dialogue with a certain Basil.  Books three to six offer an excellent picture of a priest’s tasks.  It underlines the pastoral duties of a priest—the protection of widows and virgins, righteousness, proclamation of the word of God, responsibility towards others, defending the faith and so on.  In the treatise John develops the spirituality of a priest, pointing out that, unlike a monk who takes care of his own salvation, the priest is accountable for his entire community. Thanks to the years of pastoral engagement, John Chrysostom’s spirituality evolved.  It moved from a rigid asceticism of his earlier days towards one which was more understanding, inclusive and other-centered.  Even today the life of John Chrysostom offers us the image of an exemplary priest and bishop – a courageous, zealous and committed person who went through various persecutions, sufferings and eventual martyrdom.  His golden words shone forth in his life as he bore witness to the Good News until the very end.

 

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Sr Sherly, a forty-five-year-old finally professed member of a religious congregation, attended the “liturgical” services of a Pentecostal Church regularly.  Even after repeated requests by the authorities not to do so, she continued her practice. Eventually her Superior General dismissed her.  Can the Superior General dismiss a perpetually professed member for such offences?

In order to answer this query, let us examine what is meant by dismissal of a religious and the categories of dismissals. Dismissal is a canonical procedure initiated by a religious institute to terminate membership of a temporarily/perpetually professed member. A religious can be dismissed only for the gravest causes provided by the law.  There are three categories of dismissal: (i) ipso facto, (ii) obligatory and (iii) facultative or discretionary.

Ipso facto dismissal means that a religious is automatically dismissed for certain offences by law itself.  The Latin Code of Canon Law (CIC c. 694§2, 1º, 2º) and the Oriental Code (CCEO c. 497§2, 1º, 2º) deal with offences leading to automatic dismissal of a religious.  There are only two such offences: (i) Public rejection of Catholic faith manifested in cases of apostasy, heresy or schism; (ii) celebrating marriage or attempting to do so, even civilly. Apostasy is the total rejection of the Christian faith received in baptism.  Heresy is the conscious and wilful denial or doubt of a truth which is to be believed by divine and Catholic faith.  Schism is withdrawal of submission to the Pope or with the communion of members of the Church subject to him (CIC c.751).

In this case, the superiors do not have to follow the ordinary process of dismissal.  The major superior, in consultation with the council, has to gather evidences for the offence, and without delay make a straight forward declaration that so and so is dismissed. Even without the declaration, the religious is and remains dismissed from the institute (CIC c. 694§2; CCEO c. 497§2).

Obligatory dismissal means the law obliges the institute to dismiss any member found guilty of offences against human life and liberty, viz., homicide, kidnapping, mutilation, serious wounding of another person, abortion, concubinage or other sins against the sixth commandment inferior to attempted marriage (CIC cc. 695§1, 1397, 1398, 1395; CCEO cc. 553, 500-503, 1450, 1451).  Before the dismissal, it has to be proved that the offence did occur and that it was juridically imputable.

With regard to concubinage and offences against sixth commandment, the superior may, in particular case, decide otherwise; it cannot, however, be made arbitrarily.  The superior must ensure that effective arrangements have been made to provide for the correction and amendment of the offender, taking into account the nature of the offence and the damage caused to another person.

Facultative/Discretionary Dismissal means the major superior uses discretionary powers to decide whether to initiate the process or not for the following offences which are grave, external/public, imputable and juridically proven: (i) Habitual neglect of the obligations of consecrated life; (ii) repeated violation of the vows/sacred bonds; (iii) stubborn disobedience to the lawful orders of superiors in grave matters; (iv) grave scandal arising from the culpable behaviour of the member; (v) obstinate attachment to or diffusion of teachings condemned by the Church; (vi) public adherence to materialistic or atheistic ideologies; (vii) unlawful absence from the house that exceeds six months; and (viii) other reasons of similar gravity defined in the Constitutions (CIC c. 696§1; CCEO c. 500§2, 1º, 552§2, 1º, 2º).

A religious in temporary vows can be dismissed even for less grave reasons defined in the Constitutions (CIC c. 696§2; CCEO c. 552§1).  Unless it is a matter of grave scandal, the general practise is that the superior, at the expiry of vows, refuses to admit the temporary professed to further profession.

It is obvious from what we have presented so far that the Superior General has used discretionary powers to dismiss Sr. Sherly because of her stubborn disobedience to the lawful orders of the superiors even after repeated reminders. Besides, participating in such gatherings publicly, she might have caused scandal to others.  She is also culpable because of her obstinate attachment to or diffusion of teachings condemned by the Church.

 

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The key element in family upbringing or religious formation—what makes it a success or a failure—is human formation. It is, unfortunately and frequently, the weakest part of the formation experience. What can we do about it?

Moved by the way people from different religions and castes helped each other during the recent floods in Kerala, a man wrote on WhatsApp: “You were not saved by someone of your religion. You were not saved by someone from your political party. When you grow up, and people ask you what you want to become, do not say, ‘I want to become a doctor, engineer, etc.’ Say, ‘I want to become a human being.’”

What a lovely thing to say!

Has your joining religious life helped you to become a mature and inspiring human being?

This may or may not happen—depending on those who guided your formation process, and your own personal search.

Of the different aspects of religious and priestly formation—intellectual, spiritual, pastoral and human—the weak link is often human formation. Why?

Because it is easier to make sure the formees know the dates of the founder’s life or pass exams in religious subjects, or keep the time table, than help them mature as human beings.

What is Human Formation?

To begin with, what does human formation mean? Which areas of my life should I cultivate, to become a mature adult?

There are six areas:

Physical fitness and capacity for work; emotional balance; relationships; psycho-sexual integration; responsible use of freedom and contact with reality.

Let me explain each of them briefly.

1. Physical Fitness and Capacity for Work

Religious and priests need not be body builders or champion athletes, but we need to have enough health to do our work and adjust to the ordinary difficulties of life.

We, religious, do not, by any means, spend the whole day in prayer. Most of the day is devoted to work. To work well, we need to keep physically fit. This means eating right—neither depriving oneself of sufficient food, nor overeating—exercising, such as, playing with the students, taking care of one’s personal hygiene, getting enough sleep and using medicine when needed. We should neither neglect our health and become a burden to ourselves and others, nor become hypochondriacs seeking medication and attention for the slightest illness or discomfort.

Manual work should be a part of our formation. This has great formative value. It reaches us the dignity of all types of work, and the hardships of those whose whole life is spent in manual labour. No work should be seen as beneath us, or too hard to try. One of the reasons why Catholic institutions are generally clean, from the chapel and class rooms right down to the compound and the toilets, is that we were trained to keep the premises clean through our own work.

So, too, we learn not to be fussy about food. We have to eat whatever is set before us without complaining or making a face.

If a candidate is overly fussy about food, or seeks too many exceptions from the normal duties that members of the religious congregation do, he/she may not be suitable for this way of life.

So, too, there is a spiritual vision behind this. All of us need to do penance, which is a “must” in our Christian life. The best and most meaningful penance is to be make the sacrifices that my state of life and my duties require. Thus, for a married man or woman, the main form of penance is the daily adjustment to each other, getting up each time a child cries, cooking for a guest without complaining, or helping to clean the house when one would rather watch TV. Similarly, for me, as a Salesian, my best penance is to be with the young for recreation or manual work when I may find it easier to read or watch TV—and to do this cheerfully.  

2. Emotional Balance

A more important aspect of human formation is emotional balance.

Whether we work in a school or hospital or social services, what matters to the people more than the life of the founder or our particular religious practices is what kind of persons we are. It does matter to them whether I am calm or angry, cheerful or gloomy, generous or jealous. Whatever post I may hold, whatever my academic qualifications, my emotional balance matters much more than my degrees

Emotional balance supposes that I have a positive self-image—positive, not boastful or arrogant—and can handle the ups and downs of life with a certain equanimity. We will not be gloomy for days if something unpleasant happens, nor unduly elated if someone praises us.

Emotional balance does not mean becoming unfeeling, like pieces of furniture. No! It means that we cultivate the so-called positive emotions—optimism, joy, courage, sense of humour—and learn to handle the so-called “negative” emotions—especially anger, fear, jealousy, depression and sexual attraction.

Such emotions are called “negative,” not because they are bad in themselves, but because, when handled badly or neglected, they lead to unhappiness and broken relationships.

Thus, both I and my community members will suffer if I am often moody. Younger people in my care will get hurt and or be afraid to approach me if I flare up easily. If I am a jealous person who cannot accept someone else’s success or popularity, I may do stupid things, like speaking ill of that person or ill-treating him/her, and thus win the contempt of people.

You may have heard the expression, “EQ matters more than IQ.” There is much wisdom in this statement. It means this: Suppose you want to choose a new superior, it is better to choose a person of average intelligence who is pleasant and emotionally balanced, rather than a brilliant person who is hot-tempered, gloomy or given to jealousy.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

You have also have heard of a concept called “emotional intelligence.” It means four things:

• Being aware of what I am feeling, e.g., when the provincial praised another person rather than me, I felt jealous and hurt.
• Understanding why I feel this way: In our example, I may realize that I expect to be praised when I do something good; or else I will be disappointed.
• Learning how to handle this: Can I learn to be happy, whether the provincial praises me or not?
• Understand how others feel, and why: E.g., the way I teased So-and-so hurt him. When I, as superior, do not affirm people for good they do, they tend to feel discouraged.

Some studies (e.g., that of Fr Paul Parathazham on formees), show that seminarians and young religious show less maturity than their age group outside. Why?

The reasons vary.

One reason is the sheltered life they lead, without having to take responsibility or earn a living.

Another reason is that the superiors training the formees may act more like professors than like formators—that is, they may be teaching a subject in which they have a degree, but not helping the formees in their emotional development. They may not know how to do it. When I am struggling with anger or depression, jealousy or sexual confusion, what I need is not a theology class nor a conference on the life of the founder, but individual listening and counselling. Formators do not always provide this. When this happens, a person may acquire an advanced degree, or make the final vows, or get ordained, but be emotionally immature. Degrees and theoretical knowledge do not, by themselves, heal our emotional wounds, nor make us emotionally stable.

3. Good Human Relations

Most of what we call ministry consists of relationships.

Most of our happy memories are tied to the people in our lives.

Most of our difficult experiences stem from relationships going wrong.

The well-known seventy-year-long longitudinal study by Harvard University on what makes people happy as they grow older gave this clear result: The main element in our happiness—as well as in our physical health—as we grow older is having close relationships. When the study started with Harvard undergraduates and young people of their age from poorer families, the youngsters said they wanted three things: money, fame and achievement. They believed these three things would make them happy. Did that work? No! As the research group followed this group of men from age eighteen to their 80s and 90s, they found that it is not their blood count and cholesterol levels at forty years that indicated how healthy they would be in their 70s and 80s. Their close relationships were what mattered most—for their happiness and their physical health.

I would encourage all to watch Robert Waldinger’s twelve-minute TED talk on this study.

How we relate to others matters very much—both in marriage and in celibate life. (I believe, in fact, that only a woman who would have made a good wife and mother would be a good nun, and only a man who would have been a good husband and father will make a good priest or religious. The same qualities are needed in both walks of life—especially the ability to relate lovingly and pleasantly.)

HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS

How can we cultivate good relationships? How do we make friends?

Simple. Do the first four things listed below and avoid the last three. You will have friends wherever you go.

• Help: Whether it is reaching out to flood victims physically, or helping a stranger with a heavy suitcase, or paying a poor student’s fees, there are many opportunities for helping others. When we help, our own joy increases—and we make friends. Reach out. Give a helping hand. During formation, see who is ready to help, and who is reluctant. Celibacy is not simply a choice to give up marriage and parenthood; that would be a meaningless decision. What makes it celibacy is making a life-decision in response to God’s love, and the eagerness to share that Love with others.
• Listen: Many [i]people look for someone who will listen to them. Am I willing to listen? When someone speaks, do give them my full attention, or do I interrupt much of the time, wanting to talk about myself and my interests? If you are a good listener, you will have friends.
• Speak well: Speak lovingly to people and speak well of them in their absence. Your friends will multiply.
• Enlarge your circle of friends: We all start life as a frog in a well—knowing only our family, our village or town, and the ethnic group we are born into. This is a small world. Our lives can be incredibly richer and more beautiful if we overcome our mental and cultural narrowness and build bridges across linguistic, ethnic and other barriers. This is especially important for those who choose celibacy, since it involves the readiness to accept any one from anywhere as my sister or brother and form community with them.
• Do not gossip: This is an evil we cannot go back and erase. (For a fuller discussion, see MAGNET, October 2016, cover story.) Not only does it do enormous harm to the other; it poisons the speaker’s mind and life. Gossips end up lonely, since people who know them do not trust them.
• Do not betray confidences: When people confide in us and share personal secrets, they must feel certain that we will not betray their confidence.
• Do not tell lies: If I tell one lie, I need to tell ten lies to cover it, and a hundred lies to cover the ten. No one will trust my word.

A note to formators: If a young man or woman is a problem in communities repeatedly, and does not improve, but just keeps blaming others, that formee should be asked to leave. Someone who is incorrigible at twenty-two, will be much harder to handle at forty-two or fifty. Religious life or the priesthood is not for those who cannot live with others. The ability to relate to people with warmth, respect and dignity is essential to anyone choosing these special paths.

4. Psycho-sexual Integration

This big word simply means this: As an adult, do I function well as a woman or as a woman? Do I relate in appropriate ways with men and women? Am I ready for gender-specific roles (e.g., marriage, motherhood, fatherhood)? If I choose celibacy, am I a happy and loving man or woman, who has “integrated” (brought in harmoniously) into the choice I made the kind of warmth, generosity and dedication that I have seen in my parents and married siblings and friends?

Whether married or celibate, we are not angels; we are human. We have all the potential and all the weakness of normal men and women.

Hence the need to learn from others, the need to get help, the need to go to God in humble prayer.

Sexuality—the mutual attraction between men and women, the power of maternal and paternal instinct, the tenderness we have seen and experienced in close relationships, the million variations on this theme that we have seen in novels and movies—is a very central and powerful force. Integrated well, it makes us warm, energetic, caring, creative and tender-hearted human beings. When misused, it can be extremely destructive, as when women and children are trafficked for sex, or minors are abused, or hapless victims are raped and killed.

This power should not be denied or avoided. It needs to be accepted gratefully as one of God’s most beautiful gifts. After all, without our sexual nature, I would not have a mother or father; I would not belong to a family. There would be no parents or grandparents swooning over little children or children running to their parents with smiles or tears. The most touching experiences of human life would be missing.

So, we neither despise nor worship sexuality. We accept our sexual nature gratefully, and seek to integrate it with the rest of life honestly, humbly and under wise guidance.

If, after reflection and wise discernment, a young person finds that celibacy is not what his/her heart is made for, we must help such young people to opt out—gracefully and with our loving support. We should never say that someone “lost his/her vocation.” We should treat those who leave as lovingly as before, and make it plain to them that the religious house which was once their home will always welcome their visits. If we stop loving a person when they make a different choice, it means we never loved them in the first place.

5. Responsible Use of Freedom

Formators have had almost endless discussions on the question: How do we train our formees to personal responsibility?

There is no one answer to this question. Even a husband and wife will differ on how far to be strict and how far to be lenient with their children.

If we control the formees (or children in a family) too much, they will long to come out of this “jail.” As soon as they are free, they will tend to do all the things we forbade them to do.

If we are too lenient, they may become lazy and easy-going, do poorly in studies and professional life.

The question is harder to answer in the case of diocesan seminaries. A seminarian is not going to live in a structured community after his ordination. Once he is ordained, there will be no bells and no community making sure he prays regularly, or does his work, or lives his priestly life well.

For religious, there is more continuity between the formation house and the so-called regular or normal house. But even in this case, a religious after final vows enjoys much more freedom than during the initial formation.

So, how do we train people to use their freedom responsibly?

How do we avoid the two extremes of excessive control and inappropriate freedom?

After twenty-one years of formation ministry, I am convinced that a loving setting marked by joy and mutual openness yields far better results than a fear-filled and overly controlling setting. When people feel loved, and can see the genuineness of the formators, they open their hearts, accept corrections, admit mistakes, and tend to do the right things even later, when they are on their own.

In a formation house, a young person needs to see formators who are loving and happy, and learn that a genuine and loving life is a happy one.

We need to tell them, and give opportunities for formees to learn, that each of them must take responsibility for the following key areas, which others cannot take charge of:

• Happiness: Others can do things for me; they can help or hurt me; they cannot give me happiness. I am responsible for my happiness.
• Goodness: My religious order or seminary gives me opportunities. It cannot make me good. I can remain in religious life or the priesthood and become a saint or a crook.
• Key decisions: The main decisions of my life are for me to take. Others cannot take them for me.
• Use of time, money and opportunities: How I use these three gifts shows much about my maturity.

6. Contact with Reality

A Hindu doctor who had studied in a Catholic school and had also sent his son to the same school, told me: “There are many good things in your church. But one thing is not good: To take young people and provide them everything free. This will make them irresponsible. They will not grow up well.”

What do you say to this?

Since, as the good doctor said, everything is provided to me free,  I can lose touch with the hardships of people and become irresponsible and unreasonably demanding. I may not know how to spend money when it is entrusted to me. I may not know the struggles of lay persons and hence not show them compassion.

Here comes the need of adequate exposure to “real life” during formation. These weeks, for instance, many young religious and seminarians are helping out in the refugee camps in Kerala. I remember the same thing happening in refugee camps in West Bengal during the Bangladesh War in 1971 or during droughts or after the Tsunami. Such experiences not only help us to help others; they deepen our awareness and our compassion. Some of the best memories for any young person are memories of helping others, especially if it involves sacrifice.

Contact with reality also means relating to persons different from us in background—whether by religion, mother tongue, place, caste or tribe. When young people grow up among and with others who differ from them, they tend to develop a more open mind, and be less bigoted and afraid of others when they grow up.

How to Promote Human Formation

How do we help formees in these six areas?

Both the formators and the formee need to do their part. Here are their roles, in a nutshell:

1. The Formator’s Role

The formator’s main role is to create a healthy atmosphere marked by love and joy. Only in happy and loving settings will young people be themselves, learn with inner freedom and internalize what is being taught. In fear-filled settings, people are busy hiding and pretending. They are waiting to get out of the “spiritual jail” and be themselves. Whether in a family or in a religious formation house, the young have the right to make mistakes, be treated with love and respect and have role models to look up to.

Parents and formators can promote human formation in the following seven ways;

• Be genuine: Genuineness breeds genuineness, just as hypocrisy will breed hypocrisy and anger. Part of being genuine is to admit our mistakes and apologize when we blunder or hurt someone.
• Love those in your care: Fr Paul Albera SDB, who had been a boy in Don Bosco’s care, said this about his experience: “We were caught up in a current of love. We felt loved in a way we had never been loved before.” The young can easily make out whether we love them or not. Whether they stay or leave, their memories of a formation house (as of a good family) should be joyful memories of a loving home.
• Accept criticism: The young will accept our corrections if they see that we are open to suggestions and criticism. If we are touchy, how can we expect younger people to be more mature? Fr Andrew, rector of a major seminary, once told me, “The students pointed out to me some of my limitations. I need to change.” This honesty made him a good formator.
• Affirm and encourage: A word of appreciation from you will mean much to a young person, whether the achievement is something small (e.g., reading well in public) or big (e.g., looking after sick members).
• Kindness in small things touches hearts: In a large seminary where I worked for years, the deacons would meet with the staff at the end of the course to thank us. One year, a deacon said, “My best memory is this: When I came to the seminary eight years ago, Fr Rector carried my suitcase to the dormitory.”
• Give opportunities and demand: We must give the young opportunities for learning, and demand that they perform well. Not to make that demand, or to let them do shabby work, is damaging.
• Provide counselling and spiritual direction: Most people have personal issues to be sorted out. Many carry unhealed wounds. Individual, confidential help is a must. Once the person speaks, he/she must be absolutely certain that what was shared will be kept confidential.

1. The Formee’s Role
   You have a right to be imperfect and immature when you start. If you want to mature into a good human being, here is what you need to do:

• Be honest: Do not pretend or hide. Talk things over with someone in confidence. Even in normal community settings, admit your mistakes and accept correction. Speak up.
• Tackle your fears: You can become free of your fears. A shy young person can become a confident leader. One help is to talk over your fears and worries with someone in confidence. Another way is to try doing things you were scared of doing, e.g., public speaking.
• Get healed: You may have unhealed inner wounds going back to your childhood or adolescence. Many do. No need to feel ashamed of it. If your father was a drunkard or if you were sexually abused, or you have been deeply hurt in relationships, get help, get healed and move on! Otherwise, you will waste much of your adult life on licking your wounds in silence.
• Live meaningfully, not mechanically: Ask questions. Find out the reasons for community practices (e.g., regular prayer or silence). There is a great difference between doing something mechanically and doing it meaningfully.
• Take responsibility for your life, especially for your happiness and for the person you become: Others can help you or hurt you; they cannot give you happiness, nor make you a good person. That responsibility is yours.
• Face your sexuality: Becoming a mature man or woman is not a day’s work. It takes years. It means learning from inspiring women and men, learning to relate in healthy ways, channelling our sexual feelings in the proper way, moving from a world of fantasy (e.g., as in pornography) to a world of real human beings.
• Be fully known to someone: This is very freeing. Most people do not know us, nor understand us, nor care deeply about us. But we need to have at least one person whose love we are sure of, whose judgements we trust, to whom we feel free to share everything within us. This is one of the best helps for growth.

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As I conclude this article, I remember with tremendous admiration a Catholic layman I knew very well, who was a model of integrity and concern for others. A brilliant defense officer who never took a bribe nor indulged in anything dishonest, who reached out to others with deep care and compassion, who would spend hours coaching poorer students free of charge, he was much esteemed by close friends. One of them, a Sikh customs officer in New Delhi, who had seen people of all kinds, told this Catholic officer: “Whenever I praised you highly for something, you usually gave the credit to someone else. What if I tell you that you are the finest human being I have ever come across?”

Any of us will feel blessed if we can say that about our parents or superiors or formators. Our real task as parents or formators is precisely this: To be persons about whom, at the end of their formation journey, they can look back and say, “You are the finest human being (or one of the finest human beings) I have ever met.” If that is true, real human formation takes place—every day, everywhere.

Are our formators persons of this calibre? Some are, some are not. May we at least try.

Let me point to someone in whom the young saw this type of quality. She was a Sister in her 30s. She accompanied a group of Japanese college students (hardly any of them Christian) for two weeks during their travels. At the end, a good number of them wrote to her saying, “When I grow up, I want to be a woman like you.”

Good human formation—whether in a family or a seminary or a novitiate—takes place when there are such persons in charge.

For we cannot “produce” a good human being, nor create maturity through some short cuts. God can, of course (as Jesus said), create human beings out of the very stones. But, normally speaking, we become mature and more fully human when we are blessed to live with, and under the care of, other human beings whose very humanity shines forth and captures us. May we provide the young in our formation houses that kind of a healing and energizing presence.

 

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It was a hot Sunday afternoon a few days ago when I stared into a familiar face and then broke into a smile. Was I not happy to see this lovely young woman who also gave me a great smile and greeted me with much joy? “Hello, Ma’am, how are you?” she said. After a few pleasantries she called out to a young man. She said to me, “Meet Roy, my son.” I found myself looking into the face of a young man whom I had held as a baby! “Of course, I know him,” I said. Several minutes of conversation followed when suddenly it dawned on me: Here is someone who, through sheer dint of hard work and sincerity, has made a mark for herself and her wonderful mother, who had gone against much prejudice in adopting her.

Donata Mary was the eighth child of a poor farmer who had died from a snake bite before his last child was born. Immediately after her birth, her grandmother carried her and gave her to the Sisters in St. Anne’s Hospital and Convent in Kumbakonam.   Sisters from Mercy Home, Chennai were in Kumbakonam for a meeting on that day and they had a request for adoption of a child from a family in Chennai. The sisters carried the new born to Chennai with great enthusiasm.

Unfortunately, seeing that the baby was dark-skinned, the couple that had asked for the child refused to adopt her.   Being a weak baby, Donata was kept in the special care of Ms. Beryl Rodrigues, who worked at the Mercy Home.  She not only took care of the baby; she adopted her legally.

Donata graduated with a degree in Zoology, and completed a secretarial course as well. I remember seeing her in her neatly pressed school uniform and beautiful long hair in braids. Her sparkling eyes always conveyed a sense of innocence and happiness. She used to cling to Beryl as if someone would separate the two of them!

Donna told me, “Life was very difficult. Mom, with her meagre earnings, had to take care of both of us. I was also helped by some sponsorships through the Mercy Home. Mom ensured that I would be able to stand on my own feet in the future. She got me married to Alistair Shankar, also an orphan, and we are blessed with a son, Aquila Roy.” After marriage Donata pursued a Master’s in Public Administration and later obtained a Commonwealth scholarship for a Masters in Sustainable Development at Staffordshire University, UK.  She also completed an MBA in Finance.

Donata worked as secretary, software programmer and instructor, as well as social worker,   In 1999 she joined HEKS, a Switzerland-based organization as part of the Administrative Staff.  She says with a sense of satisfaction, “Interested in bettering myself, I decided to participate in programmes and activities, especially as a trainer, and also upgrade my qualifications.  Now, I have been promoted and am in the development sector, being a second line leader in the organization in India.  I have been appreciated for my commitment and contribution to the organization and have participated in training programmes organized in India and abroad.”

Did you ever feel that being dark is not beautiful? Did that ever come in the way of your progress?  “Yes.  I always had this inferiority complex, but would hide my feelings. People used to ridicule me, since Mom was fair and pretty and I was dark. I never understood and used to ask myself: Why am I dark?  Once someone teased me saying that if I washed my face with Surf I would become fair. I sincerely followed it, not realizing that it was just a cruel prank.”

“Yes my complexion was a major problem in getting a job.  After the secretarial course, when I went for interviews, most places did not consider me because of my colour.  Even in the current job I was not treated with respect by many when I joined; they looked down on me. But my commitment and hard work has earned me this status and much respect.”

How colour-conscious we are in India!  Today, Donata realises that beauty is only skin deep and she is a product of great love showered by a caring beautiful Mom, and sheer hard work. Knowing always that she was adopted and letting the world know it was never a deterrent. Donna says with the utmost simplicity, “I and happy. God has blessed me with a loving Mom, wonderful SMMI Sisters, a supporting husband and a loving son.”

 

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Ordetta Mendoza

Christ and the Media

By Malcolm Muggeridge  

Publisher: Regent College Publishing, 1977

Malcolm Muggeridge was one of the most celebrated British media personalities of the last century. During his production of the BBC TV programme  Something Beautiful for God (1968), he met Mother Teresa—an experience that radically changed this former skeptic and led him to the Catholic faith. Christ and the Media is a collection of his lectures on the mass media. Spiced with his caustic wit and sharp insights into the influence of the mass media in contemporary civilization, Muggeridge draws our attention to the way the mass media tries to substitute dangerous illusions in place of truth.

Muggeridge writes that future historians would see today’s people “as having created in the media a Frankenstein monster which no one knows how to control or direct, and marvel that we should have so meekly subjected ourselves to its destructive and often malign influence.”  He also takes note of the fake experiments and surveys attempting to gain scientific legitimacy to prove that violence and pornography on TV do not influence social behavior, while ironically the advertisers who spend huge sums of money for prime time know better!  “I find it fascinating that credulity about scientifically stated absurdities should thus exceed the wildest examples of religious superstition.” Recalling his refreshing experience of interviewing Mother Theresa, he observes : “What is required to make a successful Christian television programme is merely to find a true Christian  and put him or her on the screen.”

The book makes engaging reading for the common reader as cultural commentary sprinkled with personal anecdotes and witty comments and at the same time evaluating the modern mass media in light of the Gospel truths.  His main argument is that “the media have created and belongs to, a world of fantasy, the more dangerous because it purports to be, and is largely taken as being, the real world. Christ, on the other hand, proclaimed a new dimension of reality.”

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Mere Christianity

C S Lewis.

Fontana, 1952.

C S Lewis is one of the greatest Christian thinkers of the 20th century, besides being a brilliant academic, popular novelist and literary critic. At age forty, he gave up atheism and went on to write some brilliant works that are considered classics. Mere Christianity is based on a series of BBC radio broadcasts given at Oxford during World War II. It addresses Christian belief and Biblical truths from a rational and common sense point of view with sound logic.

Lewis writes about basic Christian beliefs. He speaks of it as ‘mere’ Christianity, as an alternative to the creeds of the existing communions.  He sees Christianity “as a great house with a large hall. Different rooms leading off the hall are the different denominations.” He is not primarily concerned about which room Christians occupy, but he is concerned about getting them into the hall. He divides the book into four sections beginning with the moral argument for the existence of God. In the second part he deals with the basic doctrines, examining the rival conceptions of   God in the world. Presenting the arguments for the divinity of Christ, Lewis makes note of the attempts of various secular thinkers to reduce him to the status of a simple preacher, a sage or a good man. Lewis counters by saying that “a man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic or else he would be the Devil. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us.” In the third Section, he elaborates on the Christian virtues, social morality, marriage, forgiveness, charity, hope and faith. The heartiest thing about the book is that it is theology accessible to the commoner written in a colloquial style.

 

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The Confession

Director: John La Raw.  Actors: Jung Young Hoon, Gang Jong Sung, Park Jun Hyoung, Go Eun Gyeol, Kim do Hyoung. 2016. Running time: 19 minutes

This South Korean movie, which won the Best Short Film at the International Catholic Film Festival, focuses on what happens in a confessional. It delivers a thought-provoking and  powerful message. The scene is a confessional in a South Korean Catholic church. The young priest is hearing the confession of a sick, elderly man. The penitent begins to tell of a terrible crime he had committed twenty years before.  He feels that he would be facing death soon and wants to seek forgiveness from the victim’s family and also desires to go to the police. As the details of the story come out, the young priest realises that the penitent is the killer of his own father! He recalls the hit-and-run incident in which, as a little boy, he had witnessed his father run over by a drunken driver. It had been the most traumatic experience of his life.  Completely upset, he asks the man why he had not informed the police or taken the victim to a hospital. The man is shaken up and admits his cowardice in dodging the law and being callous.

The man faints when he realises that his victim had been the confessor’s own father. The priest gets out of the confessional to attend to the man and gets back to the chapel, where he struggles with his own agony, torn between forgiveness and anger.   Tearfully he recites “Our father” on his knees. The face of the tortured Jesus rises before his eyes. The prayer has a new meaning for him now.  He must forgive before God does. Outside the confessional, he goes to the shattered old man and assures him that he has forgiven.  The penitent must forgive himself. The young priest now feels that he must console the old man. He tells him a “white lie” to console him, namely, that his father had actually survived and died only three years back.  In the closing sequence, we see him holding his father’s youthful picture saying that he knows that a priest should not tell a lie. But he hopes that his father’s soul would forgive him since he was acting out of mercy for a guilt-ridden soul.

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Bernadette

Director: Jean Delannoy. Actors: Sydney Penny, Roland Lessafire, Michelle Simonet Bernard Dheran Dalou. 1988. 120 minutes

This award-winning film by the prominent filmmaker Delannoy traces the history of St Bernadette Soubirous who had visions of Our Lady in1858. The story begins in 1857 with the poverty-stricken but happy family of the Soubirous move to the south-western France, in the Pyrenees. Bernadette’s mother works as a washerwoman and her father is a casual labourer. The eldest of five siblings, Bernadette was sick, illiterate and deeply devout. In February 1858, when she was fourteen, while collecting firewood near a grotto called Massabielle in the company of her sisters, Bernadette sees a light inside the cave and the figure of a beautiful young woman. This is the beginning of a series of apparitions and messages.  Bernadette’s mother is alarmed. The church authorities are initially sceptical and think Bernadette is hallucinating. The civil authorities turn their wrath on her. As the news spreads, the government tries to prevent the gathering of the devout. The crowd around Bernadette during the apparitions sees her wonderfully transformed. But only she sees the figure of the lady.  She receives several messages, the chief of which is ‘penance.’ Doctors examine her for normalcy. The police prefect interrogates her and forbids her to visit the grotto. Bernadette never says it is Our Lady,  since the apparition did not reveal her name. Only the poor people in the town believe it to be the Virgin. The local physician comes to her defence clearing her of allegations of insanity. Guards prevent people from collecting the water of the miraculous spring. But when Emperor Luis Napoleon’s infant son is cured of a mortal illness, the ban is lifted. Bernadette, tired of all the public attention, seeks refuge in a convent and later becomes a nun. Ecclesiastical authorities ratify the veracity of her visions and a chapel is built in Lourdes.  The film closes with a report of Bernadette’s death on 16^th April 1879 and her canonisation in 1933. Her exhumed body was found uncorrupted and is preserved in Nevers, France.

 

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The Salesian officials at their theologate at Kavarapettai near Chennai had invited me to be the Chief Guest at their Pope’s Day celebrations on 29 June this year, the feast day of Sts Peter and Paul. The main event was a seminar on the latest apostolic exhortation of Pope Francis, Gaudete at Exultate (Rejoice and be glad). Apart from about 60 Salesian students of theology from three Indian States, and their professors, there were Sisters and some lay men and women.

After four of the students presented this papal document with the help of slides, I had to speak. In order to highlight a point made by Pope Francis in his exhortation, I asked them to think of someone whom they had lived or worked with, who would qualify to be called a saint – in the light of what Pope Francis says of ‘saints next door.’ Ms. Margaret Rosair, a retired English teacher who was there, came up to talk of a PBVM Sister who had died ten days earlier. She explained why she thought Sr Isabel, who loved and served the poor till the end, was a saint. I said I’d agree wholeheartedly.

Sr Isabel Dias PBVM was born at Chandor, Goa, in 1929 as the sixth child of Mr. Diogo Santano Dias and Mrs. Terezinha Gomes. After her studies, she worked as a teacher in Mumbai for two years and then joined the Presentation Sisters (PBVM) in 1953. Starting her religious formation in Church Park, Chennai, she made her first profession in 1955 and her final profession in 1960.

After teaching in the schools run by PBVM Sisters in Chennai, she served as an administrator in their novitiate in Bangalore and then as the community animator in Bombay from 1974 till 1982. After retiring from active teaching, she worked in Perambur, Chennai for five years and then she moved to the George Town community, where she spent a total of 35 years working with the poor.

During the 20 years when I edited the New Leader, I met her many a time. She would be the first one to welcome you and make you feel at home by taking care of you. She sat in the front row in the church, participating in the Eucharist attentively and devoutly. The hours she spent before the Blessed Sacrament gave her the energy she needed for her work with the poor. A kind, compassionate, and caring person, Sr Isabel had always a gracious smile on her face.

Sr Isabel sought to empower the poor by training them in various skills. She used her entrepreneurial skills to start a successful business venture which helped many poor women to eke out a living and support their families. Her delicious cakes, cookies and wine were in great demand during festive occasions. The decorations she came up with for weddings or feasts testified to her artistic, creative skills.

Ms Arlene Correya is an ‘associate’ of Nano Nagle, the courageous and compassionate Irish woman who founded the PBVM Sisters. She says, “I was privileged to work closely with Sr Isabel during the last ten years. She inspired us to reach out to the poor. She took us to homes for the aged and cancer hospitals and encouraged us to share our time and love with the inmates. She knocked at the doors of schools and colleges to obtain admission for the poor children. She was never ashamed to beg from the rich in order to meet the educational and medical expenses of the poor. She loved to narrate Bible stories to children and took a great interest in preparing them to receive the sacraments of Communion and Confirmation. She stressed the importance of family prayer and encouraged them to serve at the altar. Sr Isabel was the voice for the voiceless. She was the good news for the poor.”

Sr Isabel died on 20 June 2018 at the age of 89. Sr Leela Kallarackal PBVM, who knew her well, says, “Sr Isabel can be called the Nano Nagle of Chennai.” One of the things that showed this was true was the way the poor, needy women gave vent to their sorrow at her funeral at St Mary’s Co-cathedral, Chennai on 21 June. They cried, they sobbed, they wailed without any inhibition.

 

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This story comes from a young priest who is completing his doctoral studies in Physics in Japan. Brilliant in the world of science, Fr Gandhi speaks of his first love and deepest attraction that moves him far more deeply than books and learning.—Editor

Born in a Hut

I was not born in the hospital. It was in a poor hut that I entered the world. Nobody else was at home when my mother delivered me. I was told by my mother that, soon after I was born, I fell into a hole which was used for grinding paddy to make rice. The first person who saw my mother and me was an elderly woman who came to get some food from us.

The life that began in this poor hut was very beautiful—with all the love around.  My parents were known for their love, discipline and simplicity. Praying the Rosary at home was so normal that, if we didn’t pray the rosary, my father would not allow us to eat dinner. He was truly a good and holy man.

Life is about love

Life is all about finding and dwelling in love, the love of Christ. Nobody is born knowing the purpose of life. We realize our purpose during the course of time. I started to go back and reflect on my life and tried to connect the dots. I thus came to realize that it was Christ who was/is passionately in love with me and pulled me out from great dangers of life. Realizing this, I would shed tears, convinced that He alone is essential in life. All the rest is transient.

Love is stronger than death. I was studying in the VIII standard in a boarding school at Chetpet in Tamilnadu. During my vacation, I came home and went to a nearby forest to be alone by myself looking up the trees and enjoying the breeze. When I looked down, I was terrified to see a black snake very near to my toe. The snake saw me and ran away. Suddenly it dawned on me that I should give my life to Christ as a priest. I entered the Salesian apostolic school as a IX standard student.

During my seminary life, I was always drawn to personal prayer. The love of Christ was so strong that I was easily pulled in to the Blessed Sacrament. I loved to spend long hours in personal prayer.

Once the provincial asked us, pre-novices, at what age we wanted to die. Some said 80, 70, 60 and so on. I said I wanted to die at the age of 33.

Something happened on May 24, 2001. It was the day of our first profession. We put up a tent outside and arranged for the first profession Mass. During the Eucharistic celebration, all the novices came forward and professed in front of the provincial by kneeling down. When my turn came, I knelt down and started reciting the profession formula. Suddenly, there was a heavy wind that shook the whole tent so high that the pole supporting the tent came down and landed on my head. I felt dizzy and was moved immediately to rest a while. The Mass continued. After the Mass, my mother told the novice master that Jesus himself was crucified and that my son has received a sign from above.

One Love above all others

Religious life is not about getting used to a dry spirituality. It is an everyday affair of completely falling in love with Christ, in a simple heart-to-heart dialogue with the Beloved. God wants to be greeted by simple people whose hearts are pure, innocent and unassuming. Once a person has experienced the love of God, he or she will find that all other loves will become very trivial. The Lord will never let you down. You are surrounded by His love.

After my diaconate, the Holy Spirit put into my heart the seed of praying the breviary faithfully at different hours. The road to priesthood is not easy. The devil constantly attacks a priest. I started experiencing dryness, anxiety, worries. I increased my personal prayer. Along with the personal prayer, I found God’s love letters in the breviary and gained a lot of strength.

I was ordained a priest on December 27, 2013. A spiritual experience I had soon after was that I celebrated my first Mass at the central jail in Vellore. Twenty-five Catholic prisoners attended the Mass. This has been a memorable experience for me. I realized that love of God will always push us to the love of neighbour.

The Healing Power of Confession

Soon after ordination, I had the chance to hear onfessions in a shrine for a few hours. I felt the healing of the souls during confession. I realized the Lord had given me a special gift of hearing confession for hours without feeling tired. I felt very happy that day.

I got a great opportunity to go to Velankanni to hear confessions and celebrate Mass for about a month. I used to hear confessions for six to seven hours a day. It was a great spiritual experience. I never felt tired. The healing that occurs to the penitent in confession is beyond understanding. I started praying for those penitents. The mercy of the heavenly Father is amazing and overflowing.

Once I was saved almost miraculously during an attack on a bus I was travelling in. I realized: “If God is for us, who can be against us” (Rom. 8:31). “Many are the trials of the just man, but the Lord rescues him from them all” (Ps. 34:19). I always felt the love of God binding me all the time.

Doctoral Studies and… Cancer

On August 19, 2015, I came to Japan to do my doctoral studies in physics. The first eight months of my research were very hard and stressful. There were many failures in my research work. I learnt to thank and praise Jesus for all the failures.

Then, on August 21, 2016, I was diagnosed with cancer. I said, “Thank you Jesus! Praise you Jesus!” I thanked Jesus for the gift of life, a gift He has the right to take away. During my personal prayer, I remembered with grateful heart all the people who came into my life and I asked pardon for the times when I hurt people. I realized very strongly that when God is involved, anything can happen. While praying the night prayer on August 21, 2016, the Lord gave me a message through Psalm 91: “With length of life, I shall content him. I shall let him see my saving power.”

I was waiting for my first treatment to begin. It was summer vacation in Japan. Meantime, I was praying to someone who I thought would surprise me with a gift. I got the appointment and went for the first treatment. It was a new treatment. It is called cancer energy annihilation therapy (CEAT). The doctor was a Catholic. After the first treatment, the doctor said; “Your cancer has been reduced 99 per cent.” My first treatment was on September 8, the birthday of Our Lady. She gave me a gift. The second treatment was on September 12, the feast of Holy name of Mary. After the second treatment, the doctor said, “Just 0.5% of cancer is remaining.”  After a few days I was asked to come for the third treatment. After the third treatment, the doctor said, “Your cancer has completely disappeared and you will never be a cancer patient.” I thanked the doctor, but he pointed to the crucifix he had in his operation theatre.

My third treatment was on September 14, 2016, the feast of the Exaltation of the Cross. “Deep waters cannot quench love, nor rivers sweep it away” (Song of Songs 8:7). Within one week, I was healed completely. I asked the doctor when I would have got this cancer disease. He said; “Your cancer was detected very early. It is very rare to detect it at this early stage. You may have got it one year ago, which means the year 2015. Cancer is usually is detected after 10 or 20 years.” In my case it was just one-year-old. I had contracted the disease exactly when I was 33 years old, the year I wanted to die.

Keep Falling in Love

I got good results in my research and went to California twice to present my research paper and I also gave an invited talk at Vienna. I defended my doctoral thesis on June 9, 2018.

More than all my studies, one thing I am very much convinced of is this: Keep falling in love Jesus Christ and radiate His love to all whom He sends to me. Life is all about Jesus Christ. Love of Christ overcomes everything. Fall in love with Christ—not once, but forever.

 

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Fr Gandhi Kallarasan SDB

KEVIN

One of the benefits of retirement is the ability to attend Mass on a daily basis. As should be expected, the graces flowing from the Eucharist are nourishing and strengthening. However, another special grace that I have received has come about as I become ever more appreciative of the brief homilies our parish priests are willing to bless us with each day. Each of our priests seems to share something different in terms of perspective.  Whether it’s the pastor’s efforts to help us to understand Church teaching and its history, or the retired pastor’s wonderful way of helping us to understand the transforming power of Christ’s love present in our daily lives, each of our priests encourages and challenges me to think differently and to seek a better understanding of who Jesus is and who He wants me to be.

Humble as Children?

The latest thought provoker to join us is our new associate pastor, assigned to our parish fresh from seminary. Although young in years, he is obviously very wise and learned. He has already demonstrated the ability to encourage me to take a fresh look at how I see the world, sometimes by saying things that at first blush don’t seem to make sense to me.

In one of his homilies last week he was reflecting on the virtue of humility. He called on us to be “as humble as children.” My immediate reaction was “What? Children humble? That doesn’t compute with my experience at all.”  As I reflected on our current situation of living with our three little grandchildren ages 2,4 and 6, I was having a hard time to use the word “humble” as describing their behavior. While these little ones are absolutely delightful and well-behaved children, at least the 2 and 4 year olds would like to have you believe the universe should revolve around them. That’s not my idea of humility.

But knowing that Jesus loved the little children and the fact that Father Robinson was usually so insightful, I began to contemplate the question of how I might actually see our little darlings as God’s humble little creatures. As I thought about their daily existence, it didn’t take long for my mind to be filled with examples of how dependent they were for absolutely everything. I thought of their dear mother who cooks every meal, cleans their clothes and is constantly comforting them from even the smallest of physical or emotional injury. They need to ask permission for the food they want to eat, the times they may play outside, and when they are going to be told to clean up, bathe, and go to bed.  It quickly became apparent to me that their humility has nothing to do with ego and everything to do with dependence. These children need their dear mother for almost everything. As they get a little older you can see they desire independence yet recognize that they can’t necessarily do much on their own. They may not realize it but their need is real and their need is pure.

We Can’t Go it Alone

“I need” is a most humbling statement. It tells us at some level that we are not equipped to handle whatever circumstance we are facing. “I need” means that I must reach out to one who is superior to myself in knowledge, skills, wisdom or ability to work through one challenge or another.  For little children, humility then becomes an ever-present reality. In that way they truly have it over us.  The world would have us believe that humility is a function of ego, not of reality. We are encouraged in Western culture to pursue a positive self esteem and total self-reliance. Wow! Good luck with that.  While there is merit in moving in that general direction, setting forth such an unattainable goal of fierce independence will inevitably lead us to sadness, frustration and perhaps even despair as we come to the inevitable realization that we can’t go it alone.  There should be little wonder why so many more people are seeking counseling or even contemplating suicide these days.

We Need Support

Life can be challenging at times. For some, the challenges can go on for a long period of time. At some time in our lives, we all have had the experience of coming to depend on one thing or another. Some dependencies can be positive, like the example of children depending on their parents for proper care. Others can become dependent on another person, some on drugs, alcohol, pornography or other addictive practices to help to face day to day life.

Ultimately, those that look for dependence in this way often find that all of those things ultimately fail to provide the peace they are seeking for their souls.  Fortunately for us, our Catholic faith provides us with the means to live a humble life in a healthy way, where we believe that we can depend on God for our needs. By turning our life over to Him, we can declare our real and pure need like God’s little children knowing that He will always bring us a measure of comfort for that which troubles us. Sure, as adults, we can feed ourselves, look after our hygiene and move about in the world.  Yet we are not immune to the pains, struggles, and disappointments that are an inevitable part of life on earth. Just like our little grandchildren who run to their mother for comfort, we need to run to our Father in heaven in our times of need.

So I have to say a little prayer of thanksgiving to Father Robinson for his valuable lesson in humility. Not only did he challenge me to think differently about our little grandchildren, but he helped me to see how I need to look at all of my brothers and sisters in the world.

People Need Us

I have come to recognize that the world would have us look at others in the context of their wants and their utility to us. How often this leads to the attitude that these ‘others’ are not deserving of our assistance. Yet in the spirit of humility and true Christian love, we are invited to see their expression of need and respond with generous and compassionate hearts and hands.

Much as I can’t resist the pleading hands of my four-year-old granddaughter who needs to be picked up so that she can see what’s going on at the altar over the top of the heads of all the grownups, I have to be more open to the true needs of the poor, the immigrants  and the vulnerable.  I am learning that rather than hearing them say “I deserve” or “I have a right,” I need to be open to understand that all they are humbly seeking to communicate is “ I need help.” When we get down on our knees we know that our God will never withhold His grace of mercy and healing when we humbly approach Him as one of His children with our true and pure needs. In my prayer, I ask for the graces to live as a true child of God and follow His lead in showing mercy and kindness to those in our world today who are in need.

 

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