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Before passing away from cancer, world-famous fashion designer, blogger, and author Kirzida Rodriguez penned a poignant reflection on her life. She had built a career that revolved around wealth, luxury, and glamour, but in her final days, she realized the stark contrast between the life she had and the life she now faced.

“My house is full of designer clothes, shoes, and expensive things, but my body is covered in a small sheet provided by the hospital. My home, a grand castle, but I now lay in a twin-size bed. I went from one five-star hotel to another, yet today, I spend my days moving from one hospital lab to another. I had seven beauticians to style my hair—today, I have not a single strand on my head.”

Rodriguez’s note is a striking reminder that life, when stripped down to its essentials, is about more than wealth and possessions. Her final reflections resonate deeply with the words of Matthew 16:26: “For what will it profit a person if she/he gains the whole world and forfeits her/his soul? Or what shall a person give in return for her/his soul?” In her moment of vulnerability, Kirzida realized the futility of material success and the ultimate importance of love, relationships, and faith.

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Jithin Joseph

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From the moment we were born, the world began teaching us its rules. Rewards were given for ‘good’ behaviour, punishment for the rest. We made internal promises or ‘agreements’ about who we needed to be. We learned to chase the elusive approval of society: be beautiful, be smart, don’t cry, and excel. Love, it seemed, was conditional.

Now, as adults, we are still bound by those early agreements, believing that perfection will earn us love. But perfection is an illusion, and in its pursuit, we judge ourselves and others harshly.

In his bestselling book The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz invites us to courageously undo these false agreements. Instead, he offers four new agreements to free ourselves from the tyranny of perfection and return to the truth of who we really are.

FIRST AGREEMENT FIRST

Being ‘Impeccable with Your Word’ means: “Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.”

Impeccable comes from the Latin word ‘pecatus’ which means sin and ‘im’ means without. So, being impeccable means your words are without sin. The first agreement is the most important one and also the most difficult one to practice. If you would become conscious of what you say, you would become conscious. What we create with our Word reflects our state of consciousness and intent. “Show me how you speak, and I’ll reveal in what world you live!

To practice the first agreement, you’ll need to work hard at first to maintain awareness. Our ingrained habits often make us unaware of the words we use or their meaning, requiring a conscious practice of this ‘verbal hygiene.

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Br. Sunil Britto CFC

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            Our discussion of the social dimension offers a glimpse into the manner of our every-day life. In the previous issue, we noted that social dimension refers to the interpersonal relationships and interactions between individuals within a society or community. We also discussed the manner in which sociability of a person impacts their community life, ministerial output and their personal well-being. At this juncture, the question we need to ask ourselves is this: does this social dimension impact all individuals equally or does this quality of sociability vary from person to person? Does this mean that all priests and religious are equally sociable? Surely, not. The example of two people whom I had known may help to explain this reality.

Fr. Maxwell, an intelligent and enterprising young priest is highly successful as the principal of a reputed school in the city. Everyone agrees that Fr. Maxwell works tirelessly and self-sacrificingly for the betterment of the school. His enterprising efforts and his organizational skills have made the school as one of the most important schools in the city. Although a talented and successful principal, he is also a private and lonely person. Except a few, he avoids talking to people or engaging in any conversation. In the community too, he prefers the company of his room and gadgets than the confreres. As a result, people find him unapproachable, distant and disinterested in what happens around him.

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Fr. Dr. Joseph Jeyaraj, sdb

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O Lord, author of my life,
The only love of my life,
You gave me the past, called childhood,
Which held both blessings and burdens.
Blessings were Your graces,
Burdens, my sinful embraces.

O Lord, Prince of Peace,
Now You have given me the present,
Which is called Youth,
Full of freedom and choice.
Freedom is Your generosity towards me,
Choice is my responsibility to You.

O Lord, ever-living, ever-loving,
By Your grace, grant me a future,
To be called old age,
Full of hope and anxiety.
Hope in Your fidelity,
Anxiety is my frailty.

Therefore, O Lord, my life,
Hear the prayer of my soul.
In regrets, help me hope;
In crisis, help me hope;
In anxiety, help me hope.
From then, now, and evermore,
Guide me as a pilgrim of hope.

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Anish NSJ

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A Man Escaped (1956):  102 minutes

Director: Robert Bresson

Cast:   Francois Leterrier, Charles Le Clainche, Maurice Beerblock, Roland Monod, Jacques Ertaud, Jean Paul Delhumeau, et al.

Robert Bresson’s, A Man Escaped, is a gripping French film based on the memoir of André Devigny, a French soldier and Resistance fighter who narrowly escaped execution in a Nazi prison. Bresson, who had his own traumatic experiences in a Nazi prison during the German occupation of France, crafted a story that transcends the typical escape thriller, focusing instead on the mental and spiritual struggle of a man facing certain death.

The film follows Fontaine, a French Resistance fighter captured by the Nazis. After a failed escape attempt en route to Montluc prison, Fontaine is tortured and placed in solitary confinement. The prison is a place of despair, with regular gunfire signalling the execution of fellow prisoners. Despite the overwhelming odds and the constant threat of death, Fontaine refuses to give up hope. He begins to carefully examine his surroundings, slowly formulating a plan to break out.

With the help of fellow prisoners like Terry, who smuggles him a safety pin, Fontaine unlocks his handcuffs and uses a spoon to chisel away at the door of his cell. Over time, he constructs a makeshift rope from linens and hooks from lighting fixtures, preparing for his escape.

As his execution date draws near, Fontaine is placed in a cell with a young boy, Jost. Initially suspicious that Jost may be a spy, Fontaine ultimately decides to trust him, and the two join forces. On the eve of his execution, Fontaine and Jost put the escape plan into action, killing a guard, scaling the prison walls, and making their way to freedom.

Bresson’s film is a powerful meditation on perseverance, faith, and the triumph of the human spirit against seemingly impossible odds.

12 Mighty Orphans (2012): 118 minutes

Director: Ty Roberts

Cast: Luke Wilson, Vinessa Shaw, Wayne Knight, Martin Sheen, Jake Walker, Scott Haze, Jacob Lofland, Treat Williams, Jacob Pine.

12 Mighty Orphans is an inspirational sports film based on Jim Dent’s novel, telling the true story of Rusty Russell, a legendary football coach who transformed a group of orphans into Texas football champions during the 1930s. Set against the backdrop of the Great Depression, Russell, himself an orphan and World War I veteran, takes a bold step by moving to the Masonic Home, an orphanage in Fort Worth, Texas, to coach football.

The boys at the orphanage, known as the “Mighty Mites,” live in harsh conditions under the cruel Warden Frank Wynn. Initially humiliated by stronger rival teams, the undernourished and undertrained orphans seem unlikely to succeed in football. However, Russell believes in their potential. Using his ingenuity, he creates a new strategy, the spread offense, that compensates for their lack of physical strength and transforms their playing style.

Despite opposition from Warden Wynn and the disheartening attitude of Doctor Hall, Russell receives support from his wife, Juanita, and benefactor Mason Hawk. His careful mentoring and discipline, particularly of troubled player Hardy Brown, leads to remarkable progress. Brown eventually becomes the star player of the team.

Through Russell’s determination and the boys’ resilience, the Mighty Mites defy the odds and rise to play in the 1938 Texas State Championship. Russell’s innovative coaching techniques, especially the spread offense, leave a lasting legacy in football. From 1927 to 1941, Rusty Russell’s leadership and belief in his team turned a group of downtrodden orphans into a symbol of hope and perseverance.

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Recently, I happened to watch a short video on oxytocin, a hormone I had heard of in passing, but never truly understood. What started as a fleeting curiosity quickly grew into fascination. As I delved deeper, I stumbled upon a TED-Ed talk by Paul Zak, a neuroeconomist who refers to oxytocin as the “moral molecule.” According to Zak, this chemical is responsible for the trust, empathy, and other warm feelings that are the glue of human society. That talk ignited something within me, compelling me to explore oxytocin not from a scientific viewpoint, but in a way that aims to motivate and inspire.

Oxytocin: The Bonding Molecule

Oxytocin is a hormone we all possess, and it plays a crucial role in our emotional well-being and social interactions. It’s responsible for those “warm and fuzzy” feelings that make us feel connected to others. Whether it’s the rush of love a mother feels for her newborn, the deep trust between friends, or the quiet comfort of companionship, oxytocin is the invisible force binding us all. Think about the last time you did something kind for someone, perhaps a small gesture like holding a door open or offering a genuine smile. Didn’t you feel a subtle lift in your spirits? That’s oxytocin at work, but the magic of this hormone doesn’t stop with just you; the person on the receiving end feels it too. The beauty of oxytocin is its ripple effect. A single act of kindness can have a domino effect, spreading warmth and positivity far beyond the initial exchange.

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Fr. Jayaseelan Savariarpitchai SDB

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A few months later I moved back to San Diego. Within a month I was back doing crystal meth and gang banging. On February 17, 2001 I was at a barbecue, I started drinking alcohol, smoking weed, and meth since 8.30 am. Later that evening around 9 or 10 pm I was picked up and was told that my little brothers had some problems at the pool hall. I ran back into the barbecue and armed myself with a 9mm handgun. On my way there, I took some drugs out of my glass pipe loaded with meth, to what I considered was sobering up. Upon arrival seeing my brother Dinh parked at a nearby laundromat, I asked what happened, He told me that Phuc Nguyen made some remarks, “F*&k Vietnamese that want to be Lao, f*&k Vietnamese from Laos gang.” This enraged me and I sought vengeance. I sent my other little brother and his friend home with my friend, and told my other brother to point out this Phuc guy. Circling the café’s parking lot twice, he wasn’t there. I told my brother to pull up on his friends. I asked, “who’s the one talking s*&t?” They denied knowing. This went back and forth for less than a minute, when I challenged them to a fight down the street. Some walked up to the car and I pointed the gun out of the window and pulled the trigger. The gun was on safety. I pulled it back and took it off safety. By that time Dat Nguyen, Nhan Tran, Hoang Le, Binh Vu, Anh Nguyen, Nam Bui and Khac Tuan were running for cover or ducking behind vehicles. I shot 9 times trying to end their lives. Me and my brother drove off and I told him to drive to Jimmy’s house. I asked him to hold the gun, but he refused. We left and I told my brothers to go into an alley near a dumpster. I wiped down the gun and threw it away.

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Br Carmel Duca MC

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The Apex Court of India, in its landmark judgment on 24th September 2024 in the case Just Rights for Children vs. Harish and Ors, addressed this issue. Before going into the case details, let us first understand what child pornography means.

What is Child pornography or CSEM? (Child Sexual Exploitative & Abuse Material)

Any visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct involving a child includes photographs, videos, or digital images that are indistinguishable from an actual child, as well as images created, adapted, or modified to appear to depict a child. Child pornography is a crime that involves the sexual solicitation of a child under the age of 18 or the production of pornographic material involving a minor, luring children into online sexual relations, and then having sex with them. Additionally, recording sexual activities, creating MMS, and sharing such content with others are included in this definition.

Facts of the case

The All-Women’s Police Station in Ambattur, Chennai, Tamil Nadu, received a letter dated 29 January 2020 from the Additional Deputy Commissioner of Police (Crime Against Women and Children Branch). The letter stated that, according to the Cyber Tipline Report from the National Crimes Record Bureau (NCRB), respondent no. 1 is an active consumer of pornography and has allegedly downloaded child pornography on his mobile phone. Accordingly, in view of the aforesaid letter an FIR was registered against the respondent no. 1 on the very same day i.e., 29.01.2020 at the All- Women’s Police Station Ambattur, Chennai, and Tamil Naidu as Crime No. 03 of 2020 for the offence punishable under Section(s) 67B of the IT Act and 14(1) of the POCSO. During the course of the investigation, the mobile phone belonging to the respondent no. 1 was seized and sent to the Forensic Science Laboratory for analysis. The respondent no. 1 was also questioned whether he had ever viewed any pornographic content, to which the respondent no. 1 admitted that he used to regularly view pornography while he was in college. As per the Computer Forensic Analysis Report dated 22.08.2020 it was found that the mobile phone of the respondent no. 1 contained two video files relating to child pornography depicting two underage boys involved in sexual activity with an adult woman. The Computer Forensic Analysis Report further stated that more than hundred other pornographic video files were downloaded and stored in the said mobile phone.

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1. Tell us something about your earlier days and your family

I come from a large family of 9 children!   Our upbringing was very religious – daily mass, rosary etc.  My two elder sisters are religious, the eldest was a Carmelite at Kolkatta.  My uncle was a Jesuit priest, Fr. Hilary Miranda, cousin a Jesuit, Fr. Noel Sheth another cousin a diocesan priest, my own godmother a nun, a cousin a religious…!!  So, you see, I was surrounded by religious!!  My father was a businessman, but he was a gentle businessman deeply rooted in the faith.  These values our parents instilled in us – the value of honesty, integrity, caring and sharing.  Even though we are so many of us, we are very united and even now that we’re spread out all over, we meet at least once a month on WhatsApp!!

2. How did you experience your first call to be a Jesuit?

For sure, my vocation was nurtured and molded in and through my family.  I owe it to them.  You see, I grew up with a spiritual upbringing.  We were a eucharistic and prayer-centred family.  Vacation time was devoted to reading lives of saints.  So naturally I was inspired and right from my school days I felt the Lord calling me, but I brushed it aside thinking it’s a passing phase.  However, it kept lingering at the back of my mind.  While studying management, the call came again strongly.  I prayed a lot over it, consulted my spiritual director. After a great deal of discernment, I made the decision to say yes to the Lord.  I have not looked back since then.

3. You studied law but worked on non-formal education for the marginalized for many years. How do you explain the shift?

During my regency I was in Ambatha, a very remote village, 100 kms from Nashik.  I witnessed first- hand, the difficulties people faced in obtaining their rights.  It was there that I felt the urge to study law so that I could take up issues concerning the poor and the marginalized.  At the same time, I was also appalled by the number of children out of school and roaming the jungles.  I made a quick resolution that as a Jesuit I would devote my energies to educate the poorest of the poor.

4. You are founder director of an NGO, Reach Education Action Programme (REAP). What was your motivation in starting it?

As I said, the number of children out of school made a deep impact on me. I decided to do something about it.  The idea of REAP slowly began to take shape.  At first, I called it ‘Rural Education Assistance Programme’ with the idea of assisting tribal children in their education.  I was still in theology and continued this till ordination.  After ordination I was appointed treasurer of the province.  I realized now that I would be in the city for sometime and decided to expand the education network to cover children in the streets and slums.  To my amazement, the idea began to be accepted.  After my term as treasurer, I launched full time into non-formal education work.  Thus, REAP was born of a need to combat illiteracy and ensure every child would be in school and not working.

5. Describe how you went about growing and nurturing it.

With the growing outreach in Mumbai slums, I changed the nomenclature to ‘Reach Education Action Programme’ which is like a mission statement – reaching education to bring about action for social change.  REAP was meant to be a literacy movement (not a project) reaching to the poorest in their situations where formal education couldn’t reach.  Our motto was, where the poor are, there we must be.  The poor are everywhere and we got dragged to cover the length and breadth of Mumbai city and surrounding rural areas up to Khardi.  We soon began to be called ‘a footpath university’ and I was the vice-chancellor!!

6. Describe the successes of the programme and its present reach.

The major reason for REAP’s success was its breadth of vision, deep thrust, commitment and passion.  It was a movement for change.  We left no stone unturned to cover every marginalized child, whether rag-picker or tribal child.  Soon we were covering about 10,000 children through a network of about 450 non formal literacy centres.  With the growth of literacy centres, we realized we needed teachers.  We decided to start our own teacher training centres where we trained our grassroot teachers through a six-month training programme.  Within two years we opened 3 teacher training centres to cater to the large number of trainees.  It was a tremendous joy to see simple girls from the village transformed into confident teachers.  We did not give them readymade teaching aids; they made their own out of waste materials thus boosting their creativity.  Our teachers were imbued not only with skills to ‘teach’ but also with the passion to mould lives. This is the real reason for the success of our non-formal literacy programme.

7. In 2005, REAP was awarded a 1-million-dollar award from the Opus Foundation, USA. in recognition of the work your NGO did over the years. How did this international award give a boost to your organization?

The one-million-dollar Opus Award came as a shot in the arm.  It was the most beautiful day of my life, an emotional one too.  Initially many pooh-poohed my work and thought it would collapse.  I must confess, many times I too struggled to keep it afloat.  In a formal school, children will come to school irrespective of the weather.  In a non-formal, the weather, demolitions, poverty affect the functioning of the school.  In the daily struggle for survival, schooling is the last thing on the parent’s mind.  Where the next meal will come from is more important than going to school.  So, the Opus award was a tremendous recognition of the struggle, hard work, perseverance and commitment of our work.  This had a great impact on our work.  It got wider recognition and mileage.  Funding was never an issue.

8. You were also conferred an Honorary Doctorate from Marquette University, USA for your immense contribution in reaching education to the most marginalized and neglected children. Would you share some thoughts on what this meant to you and your efforts in the field.

The honorary doctorate was like a double whammy!!  Yes, I must admit, it was like a personal recognition of my hard work.  I will never forget that day.  I never in my wildest dreams imagined that this kind of NFE work would be so recognized and awarded.  It gave me an added boost to carry on this work with greater thrust.  More than me, for my staff who shared my vision and passion and who saw both the award and the doctorate as a stamp of approval of what we set out to do, to educate every marginalized child.  They were very proud of it and it gave them also a tremendous sense of mission and purpose.  They proudly addressed me as ‘Dr. Miranda’ in formal programmes!!

9. Tell us something about the creative and innovative methods you used for your programme and who benefited from it.

The beneficiaries were always the marginalized out-of-school children on the street, in slums and rural areas.  We never compromised on this group.  We had their faces before us while drawing up our programmes.  We tried to be always innovative and creative.  In fact in non-formal education one has to be creative or else the children would drop out of school.  In the initial years, the focus was NFE (non-formal education) and leap-frogging them to formal schools through the NIOS (Open School system).  After the advent of the RTE Act, which mandated every child should be in school, we changed our strategies to ensure the children stayed in school through quality education support.  The NFE classes became Supportive classes to ensure that the children learn well and do not drop out.  The teacher training programmes now focused on formal syllabus.  To prevent tribal girls from dropping out of school and next thing resulting in early marriages, we decided to start a boarding for them.  This was an instant hit as it opened new vistas for them to dream of life beyond early marriages.  Many of these girls went on to become nurses and teachers.  Dreams began to become a reality.  It is a well-known adage, ‘you educate a woman; you educate a family’.  To ensure this, we began a series of adult literacy programmes for women along with self-help groups (SHG’s), to empower women to become decision makers and change agents in their family and community.

10. Is there anything you would like to add?

Non formal education caters to the poorest of the poor and must be supported as much as the formal schools. We all must make an option for the poor and I appeal to all those involved in non-formal work, do not give up, think big, do big.

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 Interviewed by Ms Janina Gomes

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Loss, in its many forms, often arrives like a shadow – uninvited, unsettling, and leaving us vulnerable. It makes us question, search for meaning, and struggle with the unknown. Among the many expressions of loss, none is as mysterious as death – the ultimate unknown, particularly contemplated during November. Scripture offers countless symbols and reflections on loss, each revealing deeper spiritual insight.

Revisiting Joan Chittister’s, The Story of Ruth: Twelve Moments of Loss in the Life of a Woman, I found myself drawn into the often-hidden grace that loss conceals. Chittister’s reflection on Ruth’s journey, from widowhood to exile in a foreign land, reveals a profound truth: within every loss lies a seed of grace, waiting to bloom. Ruth’s story is one of resilience and transformation – not in spite of her suffering, but because of it. Her grief becomes a threshold, an opening to something more redemptive.

The companionship between Ruth and Naomi was not just a bond forged by shared suffering but a transformative relationship that gave birth to enduring love. In their intertwining losses, they found strength, knitting their lives together into a new pattern of hope and renewal. This bond, born from shared pain, became their path forward, a testament to how love can not only sustain but create something beautiful from grief.

This transformative power of loss and love is echoed in the stories of the women of the New Testament, whose lives are reflected on our back cover. Their experiences of loss show us that grief, though painful, is often a gateway to unexpected grace. Even today, we witness how shared losses – whether personal, collective, or global – can unite us, creating stronger, more compassionate relationships. Through this knitting together of lives, love endures, and grace emerges anew, reminding us that in loss, we are never truly alone.

From Pain to Hope

Loss can take many forms: the death of a loved one, the quiet fading of a dream, the end of a relationship, or even a shifting sense of self. No one is spared from experiencing loss, yet we are often unprepared to meet it. What if, instead of avoiding it, we opened our hearts to what loss has to teach us?

This November issue of Magnet invites us to embrace the grace hidden within loss. Our two cover stories explore this theme from different, yet complementary, perspectives. The first, by Fr. Mahesh, delves into the paradox of death. While we often perceive death as the ultimate loss, it also serves as a gateway to transcendence. In reflecting on the inevitability of mortality, this cover story explores the profound spiritual paradox of finding life even in the face of death. Drawing on Scripture, the Catechism of the Church, and reflections from various theologians, it encourages us to look beyond the immediate pain and recognize the quiet presence of grace that accompanies this final transition.

The second cover story, by Fr. Binny, offers a pastoral guide to transforming loss into hope. It walks us through how even the most painful experiences, though overwhelming, can open new ways of living, loving, and serving. It is in this journey of transformation that we see how loss and hope are deeply intertwined – one ending becomes the seed for the other to begin.

Across these reflections, we are reminded that loss is not an endpoint, but part of a greater narrative of grace and growth. Through resilience, faith, and the support of our communities, we can emerge from loss not weakened, but stronger, carrying within us the seeds of new life.

Missionaries: Companions in Loss

Our regular columns this month provide insight into how missionaries – committed women and men religious – accompany others in their most vulnerable moments, becoming true companions in loss. Driven by a deep commitment to humanity, especially the poorest, they offer more than just solace; they enter the sacred space of grief with profound reverence. Rather than providing answers or quick fixes, they embody Christ’s presence through the quiet assurance of God’s abiding grace, even in the depths of sorrow.

One recurring theme throughout this issue is the grace of accompaniment. Simply being present for someone in their grief is, in itself, a sacred gift. We are not called to remove their pain but to walk alongside them as they navigate their path, allowing them to discover their own graces along the way.

The Grace of Surrender

As we journey through this issue, we encounter a profound truth – sometimes, the greatest grace we can receive is the grace of surrender. Loss often demands that we let go of what we cannot control. Yet in that surrender, we find not defeat, but strength. In relinquishing what once was, we uncover deeper faith, clearer vision, and a greater understanding of who we are becoming.

Surrendering to loss is not a sign of weakness; it is an act of trust in the mysterious workings of grace. This issue of Magnet invites you to step into that space of surrender, trusting that in letting go, something new can be born. In these moments of vulnerability, grace becomes most tangible, guiding us into a future we may not yet see but are called to embrace with hope.

A heartfelt thanks to the writers, readers, and staff at CRI, whose dedication makes every issue of Magnet a journey of grace and inspiration.

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Pushpa Joseph

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