My Enemies & Blessings
One fine evening, as I was praying the psalm, “When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall” (Psalm 22: 12)”, I was struck by a question, “Who are my enemies? I could not get any name or person’s face as my enemies. I was surprised to hear the following as answer from within: my fear, anxiety, worry, inferior feeling, hopelessness, guilt, anger, etc., are my enemies. Against these negative feelings I was waging war, not knowing that I had only to surrender to the Lord in faith.
The greatest blessing in Religious Life is that I get ample opportunities to grow in self-awareness, self-knowledge and self-esteem. A good number of persons—preachers, teachers and other enlightened persons—I came across, to whom I could open myself, my inner self, get help and be transformed. Good books helped me, too. I have always experienced tremendous faith in the invisible, intuitive presence of God in my life.
In 2003, on January 26. Sunday (Republic Day), I was in one of the Communities in Eluru, Andhra Pradesh. The young Sisters had gone to the villages for teaching Catechism and for Mass. I had decided to visit a home for the mentally challenged children, run by the Missionaries of Charity (Mother Theresa’s Sisters), located in Vangaya Gudem in Eluru, just one and a half kilometre away from our convent. My Superior had given me sixty Rupees for the auto fare. I decided to use that money to buy sweets for the children, and go there on foot. I had no companion to go with me. Although it was daytime, walking alone in an unknown place scared me. At that time, I could not speak or write the local language (Telugu). Fear enveloped me.
Sr Nambi Kithari SAP
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