I would like to share with you the experience of my own growth in the Religious life after joining a Congregation with a charism that appealed to me. I felt a definite call to be at the service of those who were poor and marginalised.
In the early days of my Religious life, I accepted in obedience, the transfers given and continued to follow the varied orders of my superiors. However I did begin to feel confused about the practice of the vow of obedience and I experienced difficulty in carrying out routine tasks in an institutional setting. As years passed, I became more aware of the stirrings of God’s Spirit deep within me, in quiet moments of prayer. I began to see more clearly what I was motivated to do and God gave me the courage I needed to articulate my desires, in dialogue with my superiors. Understanding the seriousness of my desires, the superiors allowed me to take a different path to reach out to the poor and marginalised people.
My life among the poor and the social analysis challenged me radically. I began to understand religious life differently: the vows, community life, prayer, spirituality. I realised that it is very hard to say ‘No’ to the set norms or established conventions and live an authentic life.
Knowing well that I have just one life to live and wanting to live it as best as I could, placing myself under the guidance of the Spirit, I chose to follow my conscience. Since others around me are on a very different wavelength, I am unable to share with them and they have difficulty understanding my ways. While I do feel sad about this, yet deep down within me, I experience a joy and happiness which is beyond what others can give me.
Manju Kulapuram SCSC
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