Closeness to God and compassionate love, learnt from her mother, have kept Sr Nirmala happy to serve leprosy patients, or do any work, or face tough tragedies.
Sr Nirmala, you have been a novice mistress and vice-provincial. I have heard you say that one ministry in which you felt very happy was looking after leprosy patients. Many are afraid of that work. What made you happy working with leprosy patients?
When I joined religious life, I came with the idea that I am going to serve God. So, I was ready and available for any service. Since the main charism of the Franciscan Sisters of the Immaculate is “option for the poor,” it was begun, especially in India, with caring for the leprosy patients. So, even as a candidate, I was very happy to visit them. For three months, I was given the duty of dressing their wounds, and helping those who had no fingers to eat. I had a great desire to care for the leprosy patients, but I got this opportunity for only one year.
What made me happy was being with them, making them feel loved, accepted and understood, and sharing their pain, listening to their sad stories with my heart, praying with them, sitting beside them, finding joy in their smile, assuring them, “We, FSI Sisters, are here to love you and care for you.” We accompanied them till the end of their journey.
You also said your mother’s example influenced you a lot. How?
My mother was very kind to the poor and the lonely. Whenever any beggars come to my house, she treated them well. Sometimes she would take them inside the house and serve them food. While they ate, she would listen to their sad stories. She used to visit the leprosarium near my place with the parish group members. Sometimes I would accompany her; I was touched by her dealing with the leprosy patients with so much love and compassion.
Mother would often visit the sick, the lonely and the aged in my village. She spent lots of time with them. She consoled them and prayed for them. For the aged and the lonely, she did all they needed, like cooking, cleaning, giving them a bath regularly. She somehow found time to help them even though they were not my close neighbours or relatives. She was such a great service-minded person.
At home, the family rosary was compulsory, with singing and Bible reading. Mother enjoyed praying. She was regular for Holy Mass, and participated with great devotion. Even when she became sick, she used to be very cheerful, and prayed nine rosaries a day—or even more on some days. She read the Bible and meditated on the Word of God. She used to pray for the whole world. She never spoke ill of others, never argued or fought with anybody. She was good with all, and uttered only blessings to everyone. She was very generous in giving her things, time and her energy. She never got angry or punished any of her children; rather she just smiled with a compassionate look when something went wrong.
Her last instruction for me was: “Be faithful to your call, live your committed life, and do your service whole heartedly; be constant in reading the Bible and praying the rosary.”
Mother was very courageous in facing death. She was able to sense her approaching death, and told us that she would live only for a few more days. She asked for confession and Holy Communion. The only “sin” she had to confess was that she was unable to pray the rosary as before.
Five days before her death, we, her four daughters, gathered around her and prayed the full rosary. She too prayed, loud and clear. She then blessed all her children, praised and thanked God, and prayed three times, “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, i give you my heart and my soul; Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, assist me in my last agony; Jesus, Mary and Joseph, may my soul rest in peace in you.”
Later she felt restless. A doctor checked her and gave her an injection. Mother then went into a deep sleep, and breathed her last in peace. I believe that she continues to pray for us all.
In preparation to be a formator, you did some training in formation ministry. What are the main things you learnt in that training?
Through Vocational Growth Session (VGS), I learned to listen to myself and became aware of my own tendencies and desires. From then on, I began to make a journey within myself. Often a question which was asked by my guide, Father Mathew Vattamattam CMF came to my mind, “What could be going on in you?“ Like a screwdriver fixing a screw in place, this question really helped me to be honest with myself.
The group dynamics made me to realise the brokenness, woundedness, and the hidden positive energy in each one. The seminar on counselling taught me the art of listening. The Anthropology of Christian Vocation gave a boost to real life experience and learning to grow in holiness with all the ups and downs of human existence.
Many approaches, such as, Eclectic approach, NLP and TA, and topics like Human Development, Theories of Personality, Sexuality and Community Building helped me to have a deeper knowledge of myself and of others. The Bachelor of Religious Science studies helped me to have a better knowledge about the Christian faith, greater love for the Bible, and deeper love for Jesus. Above all, I learned to grow in love, forgiveness, humility and gratitude to God and to others.
You have been a novice mistress for several years. What are the main lessons this experience has taught you?
I became more aware of myself, my temperament, my deepest desires and wishes. As the saying goes, “Even the expert swimmer does not know the deepest dimensions of the ocean.” I believe that there is more to learn from the formees in many areas, as well as mutual reciprocal learning. There is brokenness and woundedness in every person. The more open and non-judgemental I am towards others, the more open and trustworthy they become.
There is a lot of hidden capacity, goodness and talent in all of them beyond what they say or do. Human beings are a deep mystery, unveiled gradually. There is a deep longing in every person to be united with God.
What are the main things a formator should keep in mind?
- Inspire them to pray and to taste the love of Jesus and His mission.
- To be a person of knowledge, love and compassionate listening.
- If I don’t love them, I have no right to correct them.
- The ground that I am walking on is holy, and the people I encounter are sacred.
- Create a family spirit of freedom and responsibility.
- Help the formees to be healed of their woundedness, learn to love oneself, make them feel loved by God and others.
- Formees are just at the beginning of a long road to maturity.
What are the main strengths and weaknesses of today’s candidates?
Today, almost one third of them seem to join with mixed motivation. Often, they are undecided, and not firm in their decision. There is a lot of distraction and confusion on the journey of discernment. Some of them find it hard to understand the value of silence.
The positive side is that most of them are genuine, generous, open and sincere, and able to verbalize their faults and defects. They have the desire to learn and improve. They are hard-working and show a deep sense of commitment.
Besides your mother, who are the main people who inspired and influenced you? What did you learn from them?
From the time I joined the congregation, I feel this is my second family, where I am experiencing a lot of family spirit, love and care, encouragement and support. There are many sisters who are very generous, available, ready to listen and share, including my own community members. I am grateful to God for the many opportunities the congregation is providing me. In every community I experienced a family spirit and simplicity of life and the meaningful mission of selfless service.
Persons who have been special sources of inspiration include: My novice mistress, Sr K Y Elsy, through her prayerfulness and her hard work; Sr Maria Rosa, through her commitment and missionary zeal; Fr Mathew Vattamattam CMF, my guide during the formators’ programme, through his patient listening, gentle guidance and awakening my spiritual journey; lay charismatic preacher (the late) Sister Cynthia Lobo, through her great enthusiasm for the Word of God and prayer. I continue to be inspired by these and other great persons.
What gives you strength to face the ups and downs of life, and to be happy and positive?
It is God who gives me strength to bear up all that comes on my way. God’s abiding presence is everywhere. The word of God gives great strength and consolation. Other helps: Encouragement of my sisters in the congregation, of my family and friends and the good books I read. I deeply believe that God’s power envelopes the whole universe, and His ocean of mercy is present everywhere. God’s creative power and His vibrating presence is everywhere; therefore, I am never alone. I find great joy in my personal prayer and community prayer. Through my prayer life, I learn to surrender everything that comes on my way. In all the deep losses, I learned to “let go.” God knows what is best. Everything that happens in my life has a purpose. Everything is a passing reality; God alone is a permanent reality. Therefore, when the storms of life toss me, I cling to Him.
Would you like to share how you experience God in your life?
My experience of God kept on changing from my childhood. I have encountered many uncertainties.
When I was seven, my twelve-year-old sister, who was also my best friend, died. Before that, I had lost my eldest brother, who was eight, a two-year-old baby brother, as well as a six-month-old baby sister. Though the whole family suffered the loss, my mother never stopped praying, nor complained about God. Her faith and the gentle supporting presence of my father and their perseverance in prayer kept everyone alive in faith.
I am one of twins. I had a twin brother, who was my best and dearest friend. We grew up as a happy family, four girls and a boy. My three sisters are married. I was a twenty-five-year-old junior religious sister when I received the news that my brother passed away. He was in Muscat. My superior told me that he was coming home, since he was not well. So, they sent me home to see him. But, during my bus journey home, I had a dream that he was kept in a coffin, wrapped in white, with many people dressed in white surrounding him. One of them put her arms around me and consoled me, saying not to worry, and that he is with God. Then on, I had great courage and strength, though my heart was broken and half my soul was gone.
I was worried about my parents. How would they face this shock? When my brother’s body arrived, there was a big crowed of people in my house to console my family. There was a loud cry. Everyone came forward to pay their last respects, but my mother sat inside the house, singing and praising God with deep devotion. They pulled her out to have a last look at her son in the coffin; she just kissed him without a cry and went inside again. After the funeral service was over, she started to console me, saying that the gardener has the right to cut any plant he chooses.
Later she told me about a vision she had seen. She saw a big white cloud, and thousands of first Holy Communion children dressed in white with lighted candles entered the house along with my brother, and thousands of candles were placed around my brother with sweet smelling incense. They all sang to an angelic music, praising God. My mother was lost in worship along with them. As she shared this with me, I too felt the deep personal touch of Jesus. Whether we live or die, we all belong to Him. In all these experiences, I learned to “let go.” I experience God with deep awe and wonder. Everything comes from Him and goes back to Him. I experience His presence in everyone and in everything. Through personal prayer, reading the Word of God, celebration of the Eucharist, Eucharistic adoration and other ways of praying, I experience the deep abiding presence of God.
Sr Nirmala Vasanthiyappan FSI is the novice mistress of the Franciscan Sisters of the Immaculate in India.
Interview with Sr Nirmala Vasanthiappan FSI
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