A Common Failure: The husband, a well-educated man, was back from a trip. He brought a sari for his wife. They were both respected professionals who also did much charity. The woman, a close relative of mine who told me this whole story later, said, “What I need from you is not one more sari. We need mutual respect.” The man, an honest, but “traditional” Indian, looked shocked. “You mean: I have to respect you?” He emphasized the I and the You. “Yes,” she told him calmly.
She understood that, in his view, a wife should “respect” her husband. He should look after her. But the idea of respecting her was alien to him.
Respect is not something we do or show for some people because of their position or age or role or gender or whatever. It is what is due to every human being. I use my laptop. I neither love it nor respect it. It is something to be used—and discarded when it no longer functions. That is not how we should treat each other.
A recent Indian survey brought out this shocking truth: a significant number of both men AND women find wife-beating OK in several instances. Marital violence is commoner than admitted; many women suffer in silence.
This is just one area in which our sisters, mothers, daughters, friends, teachers, nurses,… need greater respect and justice. In fact, if you talk with Indian nursing students, you will find that most want to work in the West. The reason is not just the higher salary. They feel more respected in other cultures.
Both in secular society and in religious circles, all of us—women and men—need to do more to promote gender equality and mutual respect. This will be good for ALL of us—both women and men, and for future generations.
The International Day of Women is just one reminder of this important human task
* * *
This month’s cover story: About the most urgent, pressing challenges we religious, especially superiors, face today in India. I am sure, if I were to check with, say, ten others, there will not be unanimity on these priorities. So, take them simply as one person’s opinion, after seeing and listening to many, many religious all over India and elsewhere.
Life—whether lived in marriage and family or celibate community—is never a one-point or single agenda quest. Some are gripped by one dimension or two; others by quite different ones. That depends on experiences, contacts, readings, convictions, influences of others. The best we can do is to listen to one another with respect and openness, to learn from one another and choose what seems to be the best or the least harmful among our many imperfect options.
In choosing priorities and looking at our options, it is good to remember that we, religious, are mostly sheltered from the major tragedies of life—destitution, physical violence, wrong imprisonment, loss of livelihood, illness with no money for treatment, chronic undernourishment, illiteracy, contempt of the powerful, … We largely deal with small and manageable problems, and with human and material means which most lay persons cannot dream of.
But our possible outreach is incredibly larger—especially in a country where the vast majority are deprived of essentials, and struggle to make ends meet. May the needs and sufferings of the neediest and weakest get our immediate and most compassionate attention.
* * *
Changes in National CRI:
By the time you receive this issue, we will have a new National Secretary: Sr Elsa Muttathu PBVM. She has rich experience serving different categories of people, and doing different types of ministries. The last stint was six years at the United Nations. A committed and courageous woman religious, Elsa is sure to bring dynamic leadership to National CRI.
I have accepted to continue as Editor of MAGNET until I find a new editor. If you know an experienced writer who is also a meticulous editor, please let me know.
Fr Kashimeer Arulappa MMI, my collegue in CRI House for a year now, has agreed to be the Circulation Manager.
Our columnists continue their regular and competent service, and do it free of charge.
We hear glowing tributes about MAGNET. Help us to reach many more readers. See the yellow box below for one simple, affordable option.
Fr Joe Mannath SDB
To subscribe to the magazine, click Subscribe
