Here are direct quotes from religious and priests I know well. Each one was speaking out of personal experience.
“I enjoy meeting, hosting and doing what I can to help my past formators. The reason: I have such happy memories of my formation years,” wrote Gerson, whom I taught during his philosophy studies, and who left during regency and is a married professional now.
“Because of what we have seen and lived in this seminary, when we go back to our diocese, we shall invite everyone for our celebrations, and not just those of our caste. Here, there was no distinction or discrimination on the basis of language or caste.” This was from a group of deacons from Andhra who were leaving Poonamallee (Chennai) Seminary after their studies.
“I was a better person under my mother’s care than after joining religious life,” said Geetha (name changed), then a provincial, now general of her order.
“In our seminary, we could tease the staff and have fun. We really lived as one family. In some other seminaries, if students pull the leg of the fathers, they will get into trouble.” (A young priest about his alma mater.)
- What is a formation house?
An institution where young religious or seminarians are supposed to be helped to become what they will publicly profess later—adults who want to put Jesus Christ at the centre of their lives, serve the needy, help others to get closer to God.
It is not simply a hostel or a boarding.
Whether it be a religious formation house or a diocesan seminary, it is supposed to be staffed by inspiring persons who live out the theories they teach to the formees—God-centredness, simplicity of love, sincere love for all, prayerfulness, unity among themselves without groupism or power games.
Formees, after all, observe the formators minutely.
I was a formator for some twenty-one years. My students would know everything about me—how many shirts I have, with whom I mix, how I teach, how I respond to questions, whether I live a simple or luxurious life, how and when I pray, my ups and downs. Everything.
If, on living with me day and night and observing me minutely, they find me genuine and loving, they open up and trust me. Then we have a warm friendship that lasts for life. It is a joy for me to meet chaps I taught even fifty years ago, when I was doing regency in my early twenties. We enjoy meeting each other; we can share in depth, count on one another, have fun and share in depth—just like many years ago.
If, instead, a so-called formation house is fear-filled or artificial, where power games or divisions dominate, the young will learn to hide, play it safe, and wait to get out and breathe freely.
This is nothing hard to understand. We were all born in a family. If we felt loved and cared for, and saw our parents making sacrifices for us without making a fuss, and taught us by example what a good life means, we pick up so many good things at home. If, instead, a home is ruled by an abusive alcoholic father or a gossipy, partial mother who does not welcome anyone, we too will probably grow up narrow-mined, suspicious and cynical. Families do differ a lot. Marriage by itself does not make anyone good or bad, holy or selfish. We have all seen many types of families.
The same with religious communities, including formation houses. They come in all sizes, shapes and types—from extremely joyful, loving and inspiring to cynical, cruel and abusive. Just as a married couple enter a house and either make it a loving home, or turn it into a place of torment and shame, we can make a formation house a home of love where immature young men or women learn to become responsible, loving adults, or a depressive, fear-filled setting that the young are waiting to get away from.
Fr Joe Mannath SDB
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