It was a hot Sunday afternoon a few days ago when I stared into a familiar face and then broke into a smile. Was I not happy to see this lovely young woman who also gave me a great smile and greeted me with much joy? “Hello, Ma’am, how are you?” she said. After a few pleasantries she called out to a young man. She said to me, “Meet Roy, my son.” I found myself looking into the face of a young man whom I had held as a baby! “Of course, I know him,” I said. Several minutes of conversation followed when suddenly it dawned on me: Here is someone who, through sheer dint of hard work and sincerity, has made a mark for herself and her wonderful mother, who had gone against much prejudice in adopting her.
Donata Mary was the eighth child of a poor farmer who had died from a snake bite before his last child was born. Immediately after her birth, her grandmother carried her and gave her to the Sisters in St. Anne’s Hospital and Convent in Kumbakonam. Sisters from Mercy Home, Chennai were in Kumbakonam for a meeting on that day and they had a request for adoption of a child from a family in Chennai. The sisters carried the new born to Chennai with great enthusiasm.
Unfortunately, seeing that the baby was dark-skinned, the couple that had asked for the child refused to adopt her. Being a weak baby, Donata was kept in the special care of Ms. Beryl Rodrigues, who worked at the Mercy Home. She not only took care of the baby; she adopted her legally.
Donata graduated with a degree in Zoology, and completed a secretarial course as well. I remember seeing her in her neatly pressed school uniform and beautiful long hair in braids. Her sparkling eyes always conveyed a sense of innocence and happiness. She used to cling to Beryl as if someone would separate the two of them!
Donna told me, “Life was very difficult. Mom, with her meagre earnings, had to take care of both of us. I was also helped by some sponsorships through the Mercy Home. Mom ensured that I would be able to stand on my own feet in the future. She got me married to Alistair Shankar, also an orphan, and we are blessed with a son, Aquila Roy.” After marriage Donata pursued a Master’s in Public Administration and later obtained a Commonwealth scholarship for a Masters in Sustainable Development at Staffordshire University, UK. She also completed an MBA in Finance.
Donata worked as secretary, software programmer and instructor, as well as social worker, In 1999 she joined HEKS, a Switzerland-based organization as part of the Administrative Staff. She says with a sense of satisfaction, “Interested in bettering myself, I decided to participate in programmes and activities, especially as a trainer, and also upgrade my qualifications. Now, I have been promoted and am in the development sector, being a second line leader in the organization in India. I have been appreciated for my commitment and contribution to the organization and have participated in training programmes organized in India and abroad.”
Did you ever feel that being dark is not beautiful? Did that ever come in the way of your progress? “Yes. I always had this inferiority complex, but would hide my feelings. People used to ridicule me, since Mom was fair and pretty and I was dark. I never understood and used to ask myself: Why am I dark? Once someone teased me saying that if I washed my face with Surf I would become fair. I sincerely followed it, not realizing that it was just a cruel prank.”
“Yes my complexion was a major problem in getting a job. After the secretarial course, when I went for interviews, most places did not consider me because of my colour. Even in the current job I was not treated with respect by many when I joined; they looked down on me. But my commitment and hard work has earned me this status and much respect.”
How colour-conscious we are in India! Today, Donata realises that beauty is only skin deep and she is a product of great love showered by a caring beautiful Mom, and sheer hard work. Knowing always that she was adopted and letting the world know it was never a deterrent. Donna says with the utmost simplicity, “I and happy. God has blessed me with a loving Mom, wonderful SMMI Sisters, a supporting husband and a loving son.”
To read the entire article, click Subscribe
Ordetta Mendoza
