Basing himself on what he has observed and heard, and on seminars for parents, the author looks at what parenting means today, and the things parents should do and avoid.
A Heart of Tenderness
Basil was a middle-aged businessman. Physically strong and used to being successful, he was struggling with a situation he could not manage. He came to meet me during a retreat. His eyes were filling up with tears. Struggling not to burst out crying—since most men feel ashamed of weeping in front of others—he told me his story in between sobs. His teenaged son had been diagnosed with a type of cancer that had killed one of their uncles. His son did not know the seriousness of his illness. “My prayer, Father, is this: ‘O God, send me the cancer, but heal my boy.’ This is all I want.”
This is tenderness—the kind of love that makes a human being place the well-being of another above one’s own, and willing to pay any price for the loved one’s good.
Parents know such love. We have seen it in our parents. Those of us who are parents know it ourselves. In fact, a number of married people have told me that they started understanding their own parents only after they themselves became parents.
A religious sister once shared this experience: “My two brothers and I asked our Mom one day, ‘Mom, do you remember the time when a speeding car was about to hit me, and you dashed in front of that car and pulled me to safety?’ She replied that she did not remember this particular incident, but added that she would be ready to risk her life for any of her children.”
That is what motherly love makes a woman capable of.
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Fr Joe Mannath SDB
