Meeting with a Catholic couple and their children throws light on the joys and struggles of an ordinary family today, as well as their main source of happiness and strength. Sr Celine Vas interviewed them for MAGNET.
“Children are a gift from the Lord, more precious than anything else a couple can dream of in this world,” says Mr Peter (all names changed). His wife, Philo, stands next to him smiling, and adds, “Children are truly a gift, Sister. We did not plan for any of our children.”
Philo is a staff nurse in one of the well-known hospitals. Peter joined as a health inspector in the Municipal Corporation of the city. After making a retreat, he had felt a deep desire to spread devotion to the Blessed Sacrament.
The Centre of the Day
The family begins their day by attending Mass together. Peter believes that the Eucharistic Lord has transforming power. “My family and I have witnessed many wonders and graces in our lives. I have five children. The eldest son just completed his Plus 2 and has joined a Graphic Design Diploma course. The other four—two girls and two boys—are in the lower classes. I have no bank accounts, no gold, no property and no house of my own. We live in a rented apartment. I do not have anything in abundance, but enough to meet our needs.”
Philo, a hard-working woman and a trained nurse, reached this city, and started working in a private hospital. She now works at another hospital, for a monthly salary of Rs 40,000, which is the only constant income for the family. Of that, Rs 22,000 go for monthly house rent. Although there are several Catholic schools in the city, Peter and Philo find that they can’t afford to send their children to those schools, since the fees are too high. “My children study in another school, where the monthly fee is only Rs 300 and the midday meal is free. We spend around Rs 5000 for the school bus.” In the presence of her daughter, she adds, “We provide for their needs, and not for their wants. We give them Jesus; other schools give education”.
I ask them about their family life. Philo says, “Our family life goes on smoothly because my husband is very patient. When the children fight, he is calm and cool. He will watch them, listen to them and then provide a solution. He will explain our situation to them and not grant them all their requests. We have no TV. If my husband thinks they should watch a movie or some other programme they want to see, he will talk this over them, and then show it to them in his computer. Children are happy with what he says, whereas I often get angry or irritated. I feel I am a failure. Whenever I am calm, I am able to control the situation.”
Ministry More than Money
For Peter, the toughest challenges are financial. He has no regular income, since he works as an evangelist. He goes from state to state, praying, preaching and distributing Catholic Bibles in Hindi. Most of the Catholics have a copy of the Gideon Bible. Hence it is Peter’s endeavour to print and provide every Catholic home with a copy of the Catholic Bible. As he goes about on his mission, he meets generous people who volunteer to help with the education of his children. He accepts the contribution of a priest or a religious sister just to meet the immediate needs of his children’s education. “God has been ever faithful,” Peter says. “I am more concerned about the character of my children than about money. I want them to love God and live an upright life.”
What about hardships and difficult situations?
“There have been painful moments in my life. Around fourteen years ago, my mother-in-law fell ill. My little daughter (one and a half years old at that time) was staying with her. I spent more than a month attending on my mother-in-law law and then returned home. I had converted my bedroom into an adoration chapel. People were coming and praying. Many were healed of their ailments; problems were solved, and people found peace and solace.
“When I got back to Delhi, I was shocked at something that had happened. Someone had taken all the documents regarding this an association we had set up, and changed the names of the society president, secretary, etc. I was told I have nothing to do with it and, if I wanted to be in, I could continue as a member. They promised to give me a two-wheeler instead of the four-wheeler we had.
“I listened to them. I went before the Blessed Sacrament and prayed. I felt that Jesus was telling me not to accept any offers they make. Next morning, I went to them and told them, ‘I do not need anything. The Lord will take care of me.’
“I was a zero; I had nothing. I started a new ministry of evangelising. I printed copies of the Catholic Bible in Hindi and started distributing them at 50% discount. Those who were buying the copies often paid me more than I require. All my needs were taken care of”.
“Whatever I do, God gives me success. Some people grow jealous of me. Even now, someone has complained that I am living a lavish life, that I have collected a lot of gold and money. The fact is that we are struggling to make ends meet. I think: This is the way the Lord treats me for working for Him. This is my salary, and I accept it gladly. All this has happened to me earlier, too. The Lord has always taken care of us, and blessed us abundantly.
Our Daily Bread
I talk with Teena, their second daughter. She says, “I am happy the way we are at home.” As for the inevitable tiffs and quarrels that happen among siblings, Philo gives the credit for her husband for calming them down with good practical solutions and his patience.
“If I were to give a number one place to something in our family life, I would give it for prayer,” says Teena. “We pray together; so, our family stays together.” She adds that one of the saddest experiences in her life was when she wanted to attend a friend’s birthday party, and Daddy did not allow her. She felt bad about it then. What she realized only later was that her mother was really sick that day and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Let me give the final word to Philo:
“In spite all the hurdles and challenges we have faced, I have no regrets for not having a comfortable life. We have hardships, but our “bank deposit” is our contented life without any regrets. We pray for our daily bread, and God has been faithfully providing for our daily needs. Everyday God looks after us. This is the most satisfying thing in my life.”
Sr Celine Vas, BS
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