Parents need to guide their children in the use of mass media, especially social media
Youngsters texting as they walk… a room full of people each one busy on her/his mobile… a family at dinner with nobody speaking… These are familiar sights and situations in today’s digital age, where the use of social media has become commonplace. Many parents feel overwhelmed, helpless, even frustrated when they realise their children spend a lot of time on smartphones, tabs, laptops or gaming stations, and much less time communicating with them. Yet some Dads and Moms are reluctant to take any corrective action for fear of becoming ‘unpopular’ with their kids. That could be true if they haven’t made use of two important parenting tools—mentoring and monitoring.
Mentoring involves becoming a guide, a role model, a guru. Children learn intuitively from what they observe in their parents. A preachy parent—one who gives a lot of advice without following it herself/himself—is not likely to have much effect on her/his child. Conversely, a parent who makes the effort to become a role model for her/his children will positively influence their attitudes, behaviour, speech and choices. So, if you don’t want your child to use vulgar language, you could try pruning down your colourful vocabulary when you’re angry. If you want your child to use the internet in a responsible manner, you could start by moderating your own use of the Net and electronic devices.
Monitoring, on the other hand, means verifying details. Some parents claim to give their children ‘freedom’ by not checking where they are, with whom they are, how they use their time, what they speak with their friends, how they spend money, what films they watch, what websites they visit and what apps they use. A responsible parent needs to verify these and other details of their child’s life, for the simple reason that today’s world throws many attractive choices and alternatives to youngsters, not all of them wholesome and safe. Parents who monitor their children are genuinely interested in their children and also spend quality time with them in the process.
Both mentoring and monitoring by parents need to start early in a child’s life. A child who has been allowed to do as s/he pleases while growing up, will not suddenly accept a parent’s advice. S/he will not give truthful answers to her/his parent’s questions and will consider it as ‘unnecessary interference’ from her/his parents. Parents need to pay regular attention to their children’s attitudes, interactions, behaviour and habits so as to positively influence them and help them grow to maturity.
Parents could begin by laying down simple ground rules at home. For example: the child will not watch TV or play a video game until s/he has completed the homework; children will not touch any electronic devices during meals; they will inform their parents where and with whom they are going out; they will share their social media passwords and device lock codes with their parents. At first, especially if such things weren’t demanded earlier, children could react with tantrums, sulking or aggressiveness. It is important that parents shouldn’t give in to such emotional manipulation by their children, but be able to calmly explain the reason why they are demanding something and how it is beneficial to them and to the family. It is also essential that both parents agree on the rules and conditions to be implemented at home; if not, children are extremely clever at playing one parent against the other.
Modern technology has changed the environment in which our children grow up today. They are heavily influenced by what they see, hear and experience on TV, the internet and social media. Parents need to keep pace with their children by checking on what they watch, talk and do. They need to become mentors, ready to spend time to guide their children through the confusing maze of all sorts of information, virtual reality and alternative values. Those who accept the challenge and the struggle of doing this now, will have the satisfaction of watching their children grow to maturity, capable of making intelligent and meaningful choices on their own in the years to come.
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