(This is the personal response of Sr Benny to the questions that were part of the Cover Story of the October issue which could not be published then due to lack of space)
We are in an age of great hope and a lot of despair, where we talk of love and practice indifference. We acknowledge that we are stewards of our planet and yet act as owners. Yes, we live in the best of times. It is time to make our dreams a reality. It is time to take a stand and make a difference in our own life and the lives of others.
People who made a difference in my life:
I would like to share with you a few people who have made a difference in my life. Of course, the first place goes to my parents and family. Secondly, I salute my Congregation and remain grateful to it for helping me become what I am today. Beside these, I like to mention four people who greatly influenced to colour and nurture my life.
Fr Rocha Rosario SJ, the former Provincial of Goa Province, who was my B.Th. guide. He is no more now. When I had gone to his residence and requested him to be my paper guide, he thought for a while and said these words, ‘Benny, I am happy to guide you, but I am going to squeeze you thoroughly—and he did. That moment I was scared, but now, when I look back, this ‘squeezing’ has had a lot of impact on me.
Sr Jyothi Pinto BS was vice-president of the Women’s Section of National CRI and president of the Institute Mater Dei, Goa. She is a visionary, with a daring risk-taking spirit which I liked most. She told me one day, ‘Benny, we women religious, should be convinced of our worth of being women and be able to stand on our own feet.’ She reawakened the worth of my womanhood and today I do the same for my formees.
Sr Matilda Monteiro SCCG was the Dean of Studies for three years in the Institute of Mater Dei, Goa. She is a good administrator, a firm, and courageous religious Sister. I learnt, from her, the art of simplicity and transparency in words and actions.
Fr Joe Mannath SDB was the director of Don Bosco Renewal Centre, Bangalore. I did my Formators’ and Spiritual Direction Courses under him. I learnt from him to create a family spirit in my community and grow in freedom with responsibility.
I cherish and admire these great people who had interest and love towards me. These and many more people have influenced me and made a difference in my life.
The difference I made:
Trusting in my abilities, my authorities have appointed me as formator at my young age. I have been a formator now for fifteen years. What I feel is deep satisfaction and joy to see my formees growing in their own way. A few of them have told me: ‘Your life of simplicity, commitment and thoughtfulness inspired us most.’ Others said, ‘You loved us equally according to our needs.’ Some said, ‘We were rather afraid of you because of your discipline and strictness at times, but now we understand why you were behind us most of the time.’ I don’t expect anything in life because I am convinced of my religious call and my mission entrusted to me.
How can we make a difference?
Having shared my own experiences, I question, what is the relevance of our life as religious and priests in today’s world as a whole?
All of us are aware of the dearth in vocations to priesthood and religious life. Why? Are we vibrant in our dealing with others, in our mission field? Are we focused? These questions disturb me every now and then. The following are my own reflections on what I think we need to do better.
Spiritual growth: Do we know who Jesus is? We know about Jesus through books, homilies, etc., but have we really experienced Jesus? I think our life would be different only when we experience Jesus in our day-to-day life. Then we will treat everyone equally.
Examined life: Socrates, the great philosopher, says, ‘An unexamined life is not worth living.’ We live as if nothing has happened to us. At times we may not even realize that our conscience is dead. Just as a seed needs soil, sunlight and water for its germination, human life needs introspection and examination for its growth. Daily examination of consciousness is a must. An understanding of the experiences gained in life each day at any particular time enriches one’s engagement with the self and the universe.
Goal-oriented life: ‘Life can be pulled by goals just as surely as it can be pushed by drives,’ says Victor E. Frankl, a psychologist who learnt from his terrible sufferings in a Nazi concentration camp, and wrote movingly about the meaning of life. Being goal-oriented means being motivated by a clear vision, mission, goal and aspiration. Once we are focused on our goals, we find meaning in life and our life becomes more attractive and vibrant.
Life witness: ‘Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated,’ says the Chinese wise man Confucius. We make our life too complicated by not always being aware of our religious call. We teach, preach, do social work so on and so forth. All these become only a duty and responsibility if there is no real love and religious spirit. Let us not make our life complicated and be a counter-witness to others, but live a truly simple life according to the Gospel.
Other-centredness: It is said, ‘Don’t be self-centred; instead, be a centre of love, kindness and support for others.’ We need to come out from a three-lettered word called EGO to an eight-lettered word called HUMILITY in order to become a person of love, compassion and honesty.
Freedom with responsibility: ‘Freedom is not only a gift, but a summons to personal responsibility,’ says Pope Benedict XVI. Freedom without responsibility can be chaotic. When we are responsible, we can enhance ourselves and others through our freedom.
We, religious and priests, need to teach much more by our witness than by our words, much more by our life than by our lessons, much more by our person than by our plans.
“God has not called me to be successful. He has called me to be faithful” (Mother Teresa). Therefore, we need to “Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value” (Albert Einstein).
Sr Benny da Cunha UFS
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