When we were doing a basic training in counselling at the Christian Counselling Centre, Vellore, one of the points drilled into us was: “Counselling is a relationship.”
Several of us had joined the programme to learn “techniques of counselling.” We thought we could pick up some simple skills or “techniques,” which would make us good counsellors.
There are some simple skills to learn if I want to drive a car or use a computer. Anyone can pick up these skills. It does not matter what my character is, whether I care about people or whether I am a saint or a crook.
It was sobering to learn that the main “tool” in counselling is not some trick picked up from a psychology book, but the person that I am.
In fact, those in any helping profession would do well to know the following finding of an American study comparing various approaches to group therapy—cognitive, Rogerian, Gestalt, Transactional Analysis, Psycho-dynamic, etc. This comparative study wanted to find out which approach was more effective in group therapy and counselling.
The main finding was a surprise.
THE KEY FACTOR IN COUNSELLING
The key factor in the effectiveness of counselling is not the approach used, but THE PERSON OF THE COUNSELLOR.
The best and most effective (or the worst and most ineffective) tool in helping people is yourself.
Fr Joe Mannath SDB
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