After escaping the ravages of violence in Vietnam in 1980, the Nguyen family was relocated to the USA. They worked hard as fishermen. Unfortunately, Quang, (their second-born son who was about eight months old when the family reached the USA, led a life of rebellion, drugs, gangs and violence and) eventually ended in prison for life after the attempted murder of eight rival gang members. It took him some long years to realize the extent of havoc and damage he was still inflicting on others and himself. This is the last part of a series of three articles which were published in October and November.
(All names of people and places were changed. The text has been left as Quang wrote it. Only minimal editing has been done)
My transformation began in 2005 when I decided not to do crystal meth anymore, but a more conscious effort was in 2015, when I received a notice, I qualified for SB261. [Since Quang was younger than 23 years old when he committed the crime, he could be eligible for parole hearing as a youth offender, a law SB261 had been amended that same year]. That’s when I felt hope and decided to sign up for every program but at the time there weren’t many programs. However, someone pointed me to the House of Healing correspondence course. They focus on healing childhood traumas. Examining my past helped me understand and process many troubling events in my life, aiding me to the process of forgiving my family and myself. Then in 2017 when I got into Alternative to Violence project workshop, I was shown compassion and acceptance from strangers, I saw resilience and true strength from their work and efforts, from that I felt sorrow for their pain and trauma of being a victim of violence. I felt anger towards their attackers, I felt disgusted with myself because I saw myself in those attackers. That was when I committed to changing my character and saw the characteristics of the person I wanted to be. So, this is when I believe when my transformation began, it wasn’t about going home anymore but being a better person.
Pursuing more, I enrolled into college where I learnt how to express myself by writing and improving my vocabulary. Although I did a lot of internal work, I still couldn’t explain my remorse, change, or my insight. The next step was surrounding myself with people who are dedicated to personal growth. I found that community in self-help groups, like PREP, Lifer Group, Board Prep, and Alcoholics and Narcotics Anonymous.
Br Carmel Duca MC
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