“I was on the verge of leaving the congregation,” said Brother Ajeesh, recalling the weeks after the death of this father. “My father died three years ago, leaving behind my mother, my elder sister and me. My mother is a housewife and my sister was yet to be settled. According to the traditions of our place, it was now my duty to look after the family. In fact, many suggested that I leave. But one of the priests in the community where I had done my regency would call me almost daily and encourage me. The provincial too would call me often and support me. If not for their support and encouragement, I would have left. Now, three years later, my sister is well settled, and my brother-in-law is such a good person that he takes care of my mother as if she were his own mother. Things could not be better.” What helped Ajeesh to outlive that difficult time and persevere was encouragement.
What is Encouragement?
| “…what an amazing gift we can offer to others through encouragement! When we ‘en-courage’, it’s as though we actually infuse courage into another person. Encouragement can provide people with strength to look ahead, move forward, and reach for the next goal. The whole emotional tone of a tough situation can be transformed through encouragement.” (Julie Exline)
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The word “encourage” is made up of en + courage, that is to “make” or “put in” “courage, heart.” So, to encourage literally means to “cause or create courage, to hearten.” To encourage is “to inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence” or “to stimulate by assistance, approval, etc.” When we reflect, we realize that what prevents us from attempting or doing something is either fear or lack of confidence. There may be in us fear of failure, of ridicule, of rejection, of punishment, of the unknown, or of the future. And often we lack confidence in ourselves, in our abilities, in our strengths, in others, in the system. Thus, the fear of failure prevents us from doing something new. The fear of ridicule prevents us from sharing a new idea. The fear of rejection prevents us from trying new friendships. Lack of confidence in ourselves prevents us from taking new initiatives; lack of confidence in others prevents us from attempting common ventures. We realize that it is often lack of confidence in ourselves and in our abilities that prevent us even from making the effort to correct or improve ourselves.
To encourage is to do whatever is needed to enable persons to overcome fear and lack of confidence. Encouragement takes two forms: supporting someone who is struggling, and affirming someone who has accomplished something.
With encouragement, people are able to do things which they ordinarily might not do. With encouragement, children are able to study better, community members are able to correct themselves, team members are able to give their best. With encouragement, people reach their full potential and blossom. Without encouragement, they remain underdeveloped and stunted.
This places a huge responsibility on each of us: “Could it be that those around me have not reached their full potential because I have not encouraged them sufficiently?”
Fr Jose Kuttianimattathil SDB
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