It was the end of his term as superior of the community for Fr. Nirmal. As expected, the provincial gave him a transfer. But Fr. Nirmal was not ready to accept it. He felt that if he were to leave, the various projects he had initiated in the place for the development of the poor would be gradually neglected. Besides, over the years he had established good contact with several donors who he feared might stop or at least reduce their help. However, the provincial felt that he had to stand by the rules of the Congregation and insisted on the transfer. Eventually, after a few rounds of dialogue, taking into consideration the concerns of Fr. Tom the provincial offered to appoint a dynamic priest qualified in social work to replace him. And Fr. Tom, respecting the motives of the provincial and true to his own religious commitment accepted the transfer.
People follow different styles in dealing with conflicts. These styles affect the outcome of conflicts. Being aware of them can be a help provided there is a willingness on our part to resolve/transform a conflict. Kenneth Wayne Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann have identified five different styles people use when faced with a conflict. A conflict style is “a patterned response” that people use or the usual way in which people behave in a conflict situation. These five styles are based on the degree of assertiveness or cooperativeness manifested by a person. Assertiveness refers to efforts to satisfy one’s own concerns while cooperativeness denotes attempts to meet the concerns of others. The five conflict styles are i) avoidance, ii) competition, iii) accommodation, iv) compromise, and v) collaboration. We shall briefly describe each of these styles and their advantages and disadvantages.
Fr Jose Kuttianimattathil, sdb
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