We Women Will

The value of a gem depends on a number of factors, such as colour, clarity, purity, carat weight, cut, etc.

When we speak about human beings how do we determine the ‘worth’ of a person? The world has some criteria which can change; but what about God’s criteria?

This story is about a senior woman religious. At first, there seems to be nothing special about her… That is, until you realize the richness of her spiritual journey and see how people, even now, seek her quiet presence, kind blessings and wise advice.

Sister Catherine, a contemplative Carmelite, hardly ever travelled, preached or accomplished any extraordinary feat. For nearly sixty years, she has lived in the same place, with almost the same community members. Her days, right from the beginning, have been spent in the same way: prayer, fraternal life, work and rest. Most of her time is spent in silence. Even as I write this, the first thought that comes to me is: How monotonous and boring this sounds! However, Sr Catherine looks anything but bored! Whenever you meet her, she is invariably welcoming, smiling in a kind, unassuming way.

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Sr Marie Gabrielle Riopel SCSM

During my 8^th and 9^th grades, Thérèse was my mathematics and faith formation teacher. She belonged to the Holy Cross Congregation. I knew she was a Sister, but we did not have to call her “Sister.” She just related with all as a sister, without any air of piety, or ‘holier than thou’ attitude. Apart from the fact that she did not wear any fancy dress, make up or jewelry, Thérèse looked absolutely ‘normal.’ She was completely ‘one among u.’ It took me years to be able to realize the generosity and distinctiveness of her commitment to God and to people.

Thérèse was a vivacious and cheerful woman. The problem was: I really loathed maths, her main subject. Thérèse thought a lot about how to help students learn and improve not only in her subject but as human beings.

One day, she came up with a new idea. She paired us, an academically strong student with a struggling one. I still remember being a bit annoyed with her plan, but she did not give us any choice. On the whole it proved a very ‘bearable experiment.’ My companion was a kind, soft-spoken boy with whom it was impossible not to get along.

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Sr Marie Gabrielle Riopel SCSM

The only language she could communicate in was Tamil. When I met her—I had just reached India—I could neither understand nor speak any Indian language.

After I started moving around India, I lost touch with her and, sadly, forgot her name. In this article, I shall refer to her as Anbu Aasiriyai (loving teacher).

I had started learning Tamil with a small book, Learn Tamil in 30 Days, but had soon realized that I wouldn’t make it even in thirty months! I seriously needed extra help. Though I could more or less read and write, it still was a series of sounds/words that were meaningless to me. I was then introduced to Anbu Aasiriyai through someone who knew someone.  Though, looking back, it sounds bit crazy, since we could hardly communicate, we both embarked on this language adventure. That was some twenty-six years ago.

She had remained unmarried and lived with her widowed brother and his adopted son. She had been teaching Tamil in a Christian High School for many years.

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Sr Marie Gabrielle SCSM

The year was 1992. Two women, one from Europe and the other from North America, landed in Asia for the first time.

Arriving in India, the first challenge we met was communication. Sr Rosaria knew only Italian and I knew some English. From the time Sr Rosaria had started her schooling in Italy, language had been her ‘bete noire.’ As if that weren’t enough, a medical condition had left her with hearing only in one ear. If you expected these two major ‘limitations’ to silence her, you couldn’t be more wrong!

At first, I became her ‘interpreter.’ I confess that, as time went, I started finding wearisome the task of being the mouthpiece of one of the most communicative and expressive persons I know. She too longed for autonomy.

Soon, Sr. Rosaria’s thirst for communication became stronger than her aversion for foreign languages or her difficulty in hearing.

What I remember most from our first years in India is her studying languages relentlessly, any time of the day, and sometimes of the night, even falling asleep with headphones and tube light on. She would even go to the English class conducted for our aspirants and ask a thousand questions: “How do you say this? What’s the meaning of this? Why should we say or write this way?” Fearlessly, too, she would make use of her broken English, more concerned about communicating and learning than about making mistakes.

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Sr Marie Gabrielle Riopel SCSM

I remember reading: “We need saints without cassock, without veil… We need saints in jeans that listen to music… Saints that place God in the first place… that are not afraid to eat pizza…” It’s part of a poem thought to be inspired by the words of John Paul II.

Regardless of its authorship, this poem’s view of holiness resonates in me. Moreover, I feel privileged to have met a number of persons who fit the bill. Katy is one of them.

I first met Katy in a school where we were both teaching. She had just finished her teacher training and had been teaching for about two years. At some point, we were asked to jointly handle the school choir. Soon, what started as a work relationship evolved into a deep friendship.

Katy has a sense of style and a clean elegance. I always wonder how she manages to be both fashionable and, in a way, detached from her personal appearance. Her grace is a gift she shares just by being.

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Sr Marie Gabrielle Riople SCSM

She was in love. Her parents did not approve. She ran away from home  in the middle of the night to be with the one she had chosen.

When Love required that she leave her country, Italy, there was no looking back. She remained in her adopted country, and never went back. She never saw her family again. With her beloved she lived happily ever after, as in the fairy tales.

Sounds like the stuff romantic novels are made of, right? It is a love story—with this twist: Our ‘heroine’ was real, the one she was in love with was Jesus and when she left her home it was to become a religious Sister.

I first met Sr. Flamenia when I joined our congregation in Canada. She had what we would call a “humble job.” She was in charge of the hospital’s laundry department. She also took care of one of our Sisters who had remained partially paralyzed after a surgery.  She looked quiet and plain, but when I came to know how she had become a sister I was intrigued.

She wouldn’t speak much but I soon noticed two things about her: the constant quiet joy on her face and the patience with which she looked after the Sister entrusted to her care.

Some thirty years ago, when clothes were washed in common, I would see her pick up soiled clothes or linen without making a fuss or showing disgust. The way she worked gave dignity to whatever she did. She held herself with such serenity and grace that I could not think her work as demeaning or ‘low.’

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Sr Marie Gabrielle Riopel SCSM

One of my favourite stories from Antony de Mello’s books is the following.

While a Mullah was in prayer, a woman tripped over him and continued her errands without even stopping to apologize. Later on, the same day, the Mullah met her again and berated her for the rudeness with which she had behaved with him. The woman seemed astounded. She went on to explain her surprise: “Sir, I was worried sick for having lost my husband! If I could not even realize I had tripped on you, such a respected Mullah, how then could you possibly notice me, a peasant, while being in conversation with God?”

The first person who comes to my mind as this story’s quintessence is Regina.

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Sr Marie Gabrielle Riopel SCSM

What could be the best compliment paid to a woman religious? Prayerful? Obedient? Hard-working?
These qualities are certainly important. However, one of the best tributes I’ve ever heard about a Sister was: “She was a true mother and sister.”
I came to know Sr Sarita (name changed) about twenty years ago. She was an aspirant and now and then enjoyed wearing a half-saree and keeping two plaits with colourful ribbons. There seemed to be nothing ‘remarkable’ about her besides her joyful, affectionate and quiet way.
Over the years I saw her becoming a young woman whose presence brought unity and eased communication wherever she worked.
Whenever there was a new house to open, there she was, ever available. To be on the move, open a new house, learn new languages or serve in different ministries never seemed too difficult or demanding for her. In her unassuming way, she opened five houses in twenty years. She would say: “What’s there, Sister? It’s our family, it’s our mission.”

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Sr Marie Gabrielle Riopel SCSM

We start a new column by Sister Marie Gabrielle Riopel, Canadian by birth, who has made India her home. What is the WWW? Not “World Wide Web,” but “We Women Will.” This column will highlight the difference that women make to their own lives and thereby teach all of us the art of living.  The first heroine of her column is a swimming instructor who became her friend.

I first met Suzanne in 1985. She was a Lifeguard and Red Cross swimming instructor.

I had always loved swimming, but knew the training required by Red Cross and the Federation for National Lifeguards was strenuous. I had also heard unpleasant stories from sisters who had done it before. But then, they had not been trained by Suzanne!

As soon as she set foot in our school, Suzanne became a hit! Her bubbly-bossy though respectful manners made us look forward to her classes, however hard or demanding they were! (Ever tried raising your hands holding bricks while being in deep water?)

In spite of Suzanne’s enthusiasm, after attending her classes for three years, we became a bit used to her ways. Gradually, our participation grew lukewarm. It was nothing dramatic, but Suzanne might have noticed it. She, however, never said a word about it.

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Sr Marie Gabrielle Riopel SCSM