Angela (name changed), a lecturer I know for years, received a moving, disturbing letter from a former student who wished she hadn’t been born. She wanted to meet this teacher again, hold her and cry her heart out. Let me quote a few lines from this letter which Angela forwarded to me (safeguarding the former student’s identity). She wanted my advice on how to help this desperate young woman who had no one to turn to.
“Miss, I literally have nothing to make you remember me. I have never been a person worth remembering…I don’t know why…you have been someone most dearest to me .. I wish to pour out my heart wanted to tell you a million things…things which will not make any sense to any other human being… there’s nothing out there for me to hope for or be happy about at least…I wish if at all I died all my organs could be donated and thus at least be of any help to anyone…ma’am you have always been a great inspiration for me…I am not in touch with any of my friends as I felt myself being burden to them … I don’t know what to do with my life…no one to guide me…prisoner of my own negativity, fear and anxiety and toxicity… wish if I could see you just to hug you and cry…just fed up of this fake life… tell me a way out to love life and be happy and at peace to relieve myself off of all this trauma I am going through… I wish I weren’t born…I wish I ended…I wish I had someone to show me a way and guide me… someone who wouldn’t judge me and understand me…
Fr Joe Mannath SDB
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