A heart-warming personal sharing about how simple—almost invisible—gestures of love have far greater impact than we see. They can make a marriage or our daily life beautiful—and the world a much more beautiful place.
I love reading conversion stories, hearing how by God’s grace those who had little or no faith suddenly become faith-filled. There are numerous saints whose stories are well known, such as St. Augustine who heard the child-like voice in the garden telling him to “take and read,” but others are less known. In my daily reflection, I came across the story of Edith Stein’s conversion and how this Jewish woman, who had stopped believing in God, was drawn into the Catholic faith.
As the story goes, Edith was serving in an Austrian field hospital during World War I. The pain and suffering of the sick and dying left her feeling desolate and hopeless. Around this time, she was walking past a Catholic church when she noticed a woman who was carrying some packages go in and kneel for a quick prayer. This surprised her, because she had never seen anyone go into a church or a synagogue except for services. In her words: “I saw someone coming straight from the busy marketplace into this empty church, as if she was going to have an intimate conversation. It was something I never forgot.” This simple view of faith was the beginning of openness to the understanding of God’s existence and loving care for each of us.
The story has resonated in my mind and heart ever since. Certainly the woman who had entered the church for prayer never knew of the tremendous impact her faith had on Edith. Imagine! What a story of the power of faithfulness to be an instrument of someone’s conversion, and that person eventually becoming a saint! What is significant for me is that the woman’s act of faithfulness was not anything especially grand or heroic. It speaks of the power of grace to take our simple acts of love and faith and use them for a higher purpose, seemingly without our knowledge of the consequences.
This led me to thoughts of those encounters I have had in my own life that still remain as touchstones for how I want to live. The first such experience that comes to mind was when my husband and I were invited to dinner with one of his business associates and his wife. What struck me throughout the dinner was the respect and kindness the wife showed towards her husband. Her love for him after decades of marriage was on display, not in any outward sense other than the warmth in her eyes as she looked at him, her choice of words as she spoke on topics that affected him and her peacefulness. The dinner lasted perhaps two hours, but the memory of this loving wife has lasted thirty years.
Another memorable moment, and this was literally a moment, was while I was sitting in Church during one of the school masses. A woman sat in the pew ahead of me, and when her husband came to join her, she looked up and gave him the most beautiful smile of greeting. It seems odd, but truly that smile was so sincere in its expression of happiness to see him and love for him that it made an impression on my heart. In both of these incidents, the women had no idea that their natural expressions of love, respect and happiness were being noticed by anyone. And yet, both were so significant to me that I have actively tried to remember them and emulate them so as to show Kevin the same love.
In a slightly different way, a person’s chance remarks have buoyed me up and heartened me for the work ahead. Kevin and I had been actively working in the marriage enrichment ministry for several years, and there was sometimes a discouraging sense that we were not making any difference in the lives of those we were ministering to.
I was shopping at a local grocery store when I ran into a woman whom I knew only slightly, and she asked what we were doing with ourselves. When I mentioned that we were working with engaged couples preparing for their marriage, her face lit up and she said that she remembered going through the same program years before. She said she didn’t remember much about it, except there was one sentiment that was stuck in her mind about “how to love another person is a decision, not a feeling.” She explained that this one simple thought had gotten her through many times of difficulty and sadness in her marriage, and for that she was grateful. This ‘chance’ encounter was truly a lifeline to me, keeping me energized and other-centered, realizing that we might never know the benefits of the words we speak. What strikes me now is that she was not trying to encourage me, but was remarking on the ministry of others who had been part of her own life. And yet, what probably seemed like a causal conversation about the goodness of an experience long before brought fresh enthusiasm and vigour to my life’s struggles.
In Edith Stein’s words, “Things were in God’s plan which I had not planned at all. I am coming to the living faith and conviction that—from God’s point of view—there is no chance and that the whole of my life, down to every detail, has been mapped out in God’s divine providence and makes complete sense in God’s all-seeing eyes.” Oh, what a magnificent insight, to realize that all throughout our lives we are surrounded by the unconditional love of our God!
Equally fantastic is that we all have the opportunity to help bring His love into the world through our own words and actions. Imagine with me the world we could live in if we all chose to do our best to build up rather than tear down those around us. It could be something as simple as not glaring at that driver who was aggressively making way through traffic (perhaps struggling with sorrows far greater than we can imagine) or, on a positive note, giving a smile to the clerk at the grocery store. These are such small acts, costing nothing but our will and seconds of our time!
Some of us prefer to make the world a better place by serving heroically, and for some of us that is exactly what God needs us to do with the talents and graces He sends us. But at all the other times, the common, every-day opportunities we have to bring God’s love into the world are surprisingly effective. And, of course, it is all by God’s grace that these simple acts find their mark in the hearts and minds of others. If we only do our small part, God in His power and love brings all things to good, whether we are aware of it or not. If Edith is correct that “there is no chance,” then the person who is in front of us at any given moment is there by God’s invitation to give us an opportunity to bring more love into the world, as well as for us to recognize His love for us. Let us pray that we will live each day with the awareness that God’s “all-seeing eyes” are smiling at the opportunities He has for us today.
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