A True Story about Why We Sabotage Ourselves, Feel Overwhelmed, Set Aside Our Dreams, and Lack the Courage to Simply Be Ourselves (Beacon Publishing, 2016)
“Kelly wrote an engaging, uplifting book equal to any secular self-help advice on the market, except that God is embedded deeply into the narrative.” (Patti Armstrong)
Among the genre of self-improvement books, Matthew Kelly’s Resisting Happiness is a book that stands apart. It redefines human happiness from a Catholic perspective. The subtitle explains the plan and purpose of the book. Kelly speaks of his work as his most personal book. He reveals his own journey in faith which is about the quest for true happiness. Each chapter engages the reader with anecdotes written in direct, lucid language, with a brief summary of the key idea in each chapter and Action Steps to the reader.
Kelly leads us to explore the various aspects of human happiness. He points out that we are created for happiness. God wants us to be happy more than we do. God has designed each person with a specific purpose. It is to be the-very-best-version-of-ourselves. We fall short of it because of our resistance to the plan. Paradoxically, even when we know what will make us happy, we refuse to do it. It takes us down the path of mediocrity, preventing us from enjoying the abundance of life that Jesus offered. Our habits and selfishness stand in the way. Joy of life can be achieved only by surrendering to God’s will. “The hardest war to win is one you don’t even realize you are fighting, and the hardest enemy to defeat is the one you don’t even know exists. Every day you are at war with resistance.”
The book calls us to examine our priorities in life. Several contemporary notions of happiness are based on materialism, individualism and instant gratification. The way to true happiness is the opposite of this. We have to get out of ourselves and serve others. This will help us discover our innate ability to make a difference in other people’s lives and build our self- esteem and joyfulness.
Self –discipline is vital. Our awareness about self-denial; self-control, delayed gratification, and fasting has been part of the two thousand years of Catholic genius. “God wants you to live an excellent life. In that quest for excellence you will find a rare happiness.” St. Augustine tells us that our self-conquest makes the world lie at our feet. However, when we begin to practice self- discipline, we will also experience greater resistance to any type of self-denial that strengthens us. It makes us settle down to mediocrity. It is important to be gentle with ourselves. This is connected to forgiveness. Self- forgiveness helps us forgive others. If we cannot do this, we will be resistant to God’s forgiveness. This patience with ourselves helps develop compassion, which is the key to connecting ourselves with others.
To quote Kelly, “God does not want his people to be negative thinkers … he wants us to be positive thinkers on an epic scale.”
We have to approach life with the attitude of a pilgrim and a not that of a tourist. We are not just passing through; we have a journey with a destination. No wonder Kelly can write, “We are always hungry for something more complete, and God is that completeness that we yearn for from the depths of our soul.”
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