Recall an experience of receiving positive feedback from someone—about your gifts or character or accomplishments. How did you feel when you received it? How did it help you?
Now, recall an experience of receiving negative feedback—someone pointing out a defect or flaw of yours, or some not so pleasant aspect of your behaviour. Was it given with love and respect, or harshly, or in humiliating way? How did you feel then? Would you like to receive negative feedback in the way it was given?
Now, think of some positive feedback you gave someone else—a word of appreciation or encouragement, a sincere word of thanks for something the person did for you. What was the other person’s response? Did your relationship improve or deepen as a result?
Recall now a negative feedback you gave to someone. Was it a correction given to someone under your care—a son or daughter, a student, a formee, a member of your religious house where you were a superior? How did you give it? Calmly or in anger? After pointing out the person’s good qualities or without it? Did you give the other person a chance to explain himself or herself?
Fr Joe Mannath SDB
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