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Transforming Conflicts – Spiritual Helps

Transforming Conflicts – Spiritual Helps

Venerable Mamma Margaret was the mother of St. John Bosco, popularly known as Don Bosco.  After the death of her husband, she had a tough time bringing up her stepson Anthony and her own two sons, John (later Don Bosco) and Joseph.  Anthony was hot-tempered and John was stubborn.  Anthony wanted John to work on the farm and John wanted to study.  There would be heated arguments and fights between them.  Wise and patient as she was, she would give them time to cool down.  At the end of the day when the ‘Our Father’ would be prayed during the family prayer, Mamma Margaret would stop Anthony and tell him not to say the words, “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  In the dialogue that would inevitably follow she would ask him how he expected the Lord to forgive him when he had not forgiven his brothers.  Her words, uttered in a simple and loving way, would usually produce the desired effect with Anthony admitting, “I was wrong.  Forgive me.”

When Don Bosco began his work for the poor youth of Turin, Mamma Margaret left her native place and stayed with him to help him.  Although she was very gentle and patient, she often found it difficult to put up with the thoughtless and irresponsible behaviour of the boys.  One day, tired, very upset and determined to go back to her village she went and complained to Don Bosco: “Your boys are careless and irresponsible.  They throw their clothes around.  They carry away the utensils from the kitchen to use for their amusement.  Playing around they destroy my vegetable garden.  I can’t take it anymore. I want to go back to my village to spend my last days in peace.”


Fr Jose Kuttianimattathil, sdb

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