“Our emotions are the messengers of our souls, calling us to heal and transform ourselves.” – Sue Patton Thoele
In the last issue, we discussed three essential elements of the emotional dimension. They were: emotional literacy that leads to emotional intelligence, and the two together enable a person to be emotionally competent. As promised earlier, we shall delve into the eight-step process by which a religious can become emotionally competent. As a counsellor and therapist, I have often heard these statements from those who come with emotional issues: “I have no control over my emotions”, “I was born this way”, “This is the only way I know to react to situations” and “Do you know how much I tried, but never succeeded in controlling my emotions.”
Do you notice an almost exasperated sense of despair and resignation in these words? Those of us who have been in this situation would understand how difficult it is when our emotions are not in our control. The diversity of emotions that we experience in our everyday life makes us feel as if we are on a rollercoaster experiencing various emotions at different moments of the day.
I remember the life of a young sister who was responsible for the social ministry in her community. She was full of life, hard-working and enthusiastic in her ministry. She was admired for her preferential love for the poor and for her constant presence among the people. But she was also someone who wore her heart on her sleeve, meaning to say, she was highly emotional and exceedingly expressive.
On a single day, she would experience a mixture of emotions. If she had had a good sleep, she would start the day being vivacious and humorous. During the day, when she noticed someone doing mischief, she would blow her top and make sure that the person concerned understood how angry she was. When someone met with an accident, she would drop everything else, stay with the wounded person, take them to the doctor and buy medicines for them. When she saw any kind of injustice done to the people, she would immediately raise her voice and fight for the right thing to be done. And, when someone criticised her or humiliated her in front of others, she would feel self-pity, feel rejected and shed tears.
Fr. Dr. Joseph Jeyaraj, sdb
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