In this Interview, Mrs. Theresa Monteiro speaks about the suffering and adversities she went through and how it helped her develop her own reflections on suffering and compassion.
What is compassion for you?
Compassion is love and kindness shown to people in all walks of life. Franklin Roosevelt said:” Let’s remember that it takes both the white and the black keys of the piano to play the Star Spangled Banner”. If civilization is to survive, we must cultivate the science of human relationship- the ability of people of all kinds to live together in the same world of peace.
Compassion is loving kindness. Kindness is giving hope and happiness to those who are lonely, depressed and distraught. When I lost my husband 14 years ago, I was so shocked and suddenly very lonely. Relatives and friends took turns to spend the night with me and they also cooked my meals. I will always remember them. Blessed are those friends who gave me love and consolation. Remembering what others did for me when I was in distress ignited in me the desire to give hope to other people whom I encountered in my Legion work.
How did you practice compassion?
I was a member of the Legion of Mary- the Presidium of Our Lady of the Mount. We did 2 hours of Legion work weekly, like visiting the Old Age Clergy Home in Bandra, talking and consoling patients in the Holy Family Hospital in Bandra and visiting those in our neighbourhood who were ill and mostly bedridden. We can be loving and caring even from a distance.
When I underwent a serious surgery in Holy Family Hospital, a friend of mine sent me a Get Well Card. The card read:” Praying for God’s Healing and Blessings as you begin your treatment. May His promises offer Hope, His Strength inspire courage and His Loving Presence give you peace”.
Hope doesn’t disappoint us because God’s love has been poured into our hearts (Romans 5:5). What our Church needs today is to bring Hope and Healing to a broken and hurting world. We don’t need empty hearted and heavy headed professionals but warm and caring humans.
How do you experience compassion where you are right now?
In the Consecrated way of Life, like the Sisters of Charles Borromeo Home for Senior Citizens where I am now staying, I am impressed with the way these nuns are trained to be bearers of the joy of the Gospel, to go to the peripheries, to listen to the cry of the poor and those in pain, to nurture peace and love, to give and to forgive, to be joyful and rejoice. Their dedication to their vocation to serve those in need is done by being kind and merciful, consoling us by their hugs and embraces and thus showing mercy and kindness. These nuns instil hope in us by standing by us, like Mother Mary who stood by the Cross when Jesus, her Son was lifted high on the Cross to die. Charity and kindness is ignited in me in this home and now I am aware of my companions here who are in need of kindness, by talking to them in a low tone, looking them straight in the eye and also touching them with my hand.
Tell us about your earlier years and how compassion was ingrained in you as a child.
For me compassion like charity began at home. As a child I had a good life. I was the 4th of 9 children. When I was little, I got what I asked for. My Papa was the Chief Accountant at LIC. But later as the family grew in number, all the frills and niceties of life were cut off. Mum had to carry on household chores and keep a decent table with not much money in hand. To make ends meet was extremely difficult. By the time I finished school, my Papa wanted me to study further, so he borrowed from his friends and brother and saw me through my graduation. My undergraduate years were at Sophia nun by the Religious of the Sacred Heart and my graduate years were at St. Xavier’s College run by the Jesuits.
Tell us something about your experiences at work?
As soon as I graduated, the Vice Principal of St. Xavier’s College informed me of a vacancy for a Science and Ethics teacher at St. Agnes School at Byculla run by Religious of Jesus and Mary nuns. After one year I got a job in the corporate world. I worked for a German Chemical company called BASF Ltd. After 3 years I left to get married. During my working days I did a lot by way of charity which began at Home. I paid all my Papa’s debts and the home expenses were run with my salary. There was nothing left for me. I would travel cheaply by train and wear hand-me-down clothes. My parents were immensely proud of me and the sacrifices I made. I remember my Mama’s words till today: “ Of all my daughters, you will get the best husband”. Mama was prayerful and felt sure that God would bless me. I am blessed. I married a good and upright man and so I have 4 good children who will care for me.
You also donated generously and practiced works of charity- tell us something about that.
Monetarily, I donate whenever funds are collected for the church and the missions. Physically compassion is ignited in me when in the Community I am sowing love. I was kind of blind to my surroundings. Now when I see people ailing, mercy and compassion are ignited in me. Awareness of my surroundings has crept in and even though now I am not involved in giving much help, I still reach out to people – those who are in need, by being polite and tender, or through a touch or a loving word, Mother Teresa says that we feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But, the ocean would be less because of the missing drop.
I also gave a poor boy from St. Stanislaus school lunch every day for a full year. I brought him home to my house to join my children during lunch time. To the maids who worked for me, they were kept happy because they were treated like family and their entire salary could be sent home. One of them remarked: “You are like my mother”
I end with the words of Ella Wheeler Wilcox: “God what a world, if men in street and mart, felt that same kinship of the human heart, which makes them, in the face of fire and flood, rise to the meaning of True Brotherhood”.
Ms Janina Gomes
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