When I entered my forties, I encountered many pleasant and unpleasant experiences, painful and distressing, due to the loss of my beloved parents and very close relatives to physical illnesses. At the same time, there were new opportunities like being sent on a Mission overseas, chances for higher studies (Licentiate) in a foreign land, and so on that brought a new outlook and new awakening in my life. However, amidst my own distressing moments, I had to face many challenges in the ‘New Mission’; like learning a new (Spanish) language and adjusting to a lot of things, adapting a new culture, and facing different challenges in my Mission, along with additional uncertainties and anxieties that entered during the crisis and turmoil at the time—Pandemic that hit the world. Taking care of terminally ill patients caused in me the fear of death and the very thought of death made me fear even more. Even in my dreams this fear kept manifesting.
Despite having journeyed with such pleasant and unpleasant experiences in my life, I can confidently say that the past eight years are the best years in my life, where productivity and creativity have blossomed. Somewhere deep down, I felt the presence of the ‘divine energy’ calling me to rise above all these fears especially the fear of death and the pain of losing my parents, meaninglessness and the emptiness that I had faced within me. There came an awareness that ‘I am who I am’ and encountered God who resides in me. And I realize that I am more than my name, fame, beauty, status, role and so on. And there was a realization of the ‘True Self’ emerging in me. That was the time I began giving workshops for students, teachers and parents, and sessions for junior sisters, formators classes, and retreats for novices. This brought me a sense of inner joy, happiness and fulfillment which none can take away from me.
Sr Elizabeth Rani OP
To read the entire article, click Subscribe
