Number of years of experience as a formator: 15 +
The group I mostly lived with and served: Pre-novices / Novices / Junior religious before final vows / Religious after final vows (eg, Theology students).
I had the opportunity to serve as a formator with all the above groups for certain number of years, but mostly with Pre-novices, Novices and Theology students from different congregations.
- Most influential persons:
- My mother, who was deeply a prayerful, affectionate and compassionate towards all.
- My father, who was extremely gifted in his own terms, and silently and secretly admired me and expressed it to others many times.
- My Novice Master, Brother Jacob Ezhanikatt SG of revered memory, who adopted a policy of “look always for opportunities to appreciate” during the formation days.
- Their secret:
The absolute trust in God at all times, the capacity to go beyond narrow man-made boundaries, the quality of going out of the way to help without counting the cost, the deep involvement and commitment to the cause and the way they nurtured humanity in others. All these qualities made a deep impression and influence on me. Each of them in their own unique way impressed me deeply. There are many more persons who influenced down the line.
- Best lessons from my family:
- Unity and hard work take us forward and bear fruits.
- Compassion and respect towards all, especially towards the lowly and the poor.
© Generating joy and positivity at most difficult moments and places.
- Helps in religious life:
- Self-directed and self-driven growth will last longer.
- Learning to accept self and appreciate it in order to live in peace with others which is a foundation for personal and communal prayers.
- Self-discipline and hard work
- Best help as a religious:
- Most helpful: The way formators related with me and dealt with me.
- Next most helpful: Community atmosphere and joyful living.
- Third most helpful: The sincere readiness of the formator to learn from the formees.
- What I tried to give to formees:
As a formator my first and main goal was to create a happy and joyful community of freedom where the atmosphere is free and spontaneous. The second most thing I focused was on motivating them to equip themselves with skills and abilities that are useful for their future mission and for their life. The third goal was to build self-belief in them and enable them to develop their human, spiritual and intellectual qualities through a vibrant spirituality. I always believed that only in an atmosphere of freedom, real growth would take place. As a formator, I was firm and loving; I made the objectives of the congregation and my intentions clear to the formees. Today in priesthood and in consecrated life, due to many factors, economic included, right motivation is a big question mark. Secondly, in India joining priesthood or religious life is looked upon as upgrading one’s social prestige and social status. It is seen as an upward mobility and as a career. What today’s formees need is a genuine motivation to serve God, sincere desire to work hard and learn many things to excel in the future mission and a self-driven conviction to find meaning in life.
- Religious less mature than lay persons? How to help them mature:
Yes, it is true that some studies show that the people of the same age group outside are more mature, knowledgeable and smarter than our own formees. The youth outside make quick and sensible decisions for their life and take charge of their life easily and responsibly than our candidates inside. The youth outside are more intelligent, mature and know how to deal with certain life issues. There could be many reasons for this. The primary reason I believe is that the worry and anxiety of tomorrow is not there at all for our formees. Everything is guaranteed and I need not work for it and I look for it. This sense of ‘freedom’ makes even the active ones lazy and totally eliminates the sense of dependency and providence. It dulls their brains and makes them immune to daily realities. This false security does not offer occasions to make real choices for enhancing life and to take decisions for life.
- Other suggestions:
- Every formator needs to ask a question: What are you preparing your formees for? Is it to fill certain posts and to fill some vacancy or to become prophetic personalities?
- Cultural formation is the need of the hour. Enabling the young people of today to understand the dynamics of Indian culture and intelligently learn the intricacies of every culture in order to learn to appreciate the cultural diversity and cherish the richness of living in multicultural or inter-cultural settings.
- Formators to equip themselves and become liberated persons in order to promote humanity in the formees and to avoid producing ‘dry and lifeless celibates.”
- Mistakes to avoid
- Favouritism is what most formees dislike among the formators. However neutral and impartial one tries to be, the formees are very sensitive to this factor. And it can dull the spontaneous growth of individuals and the group, and destroy the credibility of the formator.
- Jumping to conclusions and quick judgments about the motivation of a candidate and making a rash decision.
- Not to easily fall into the temptation of “praise or blame” game and get blinded by them and make decisions based on them. The formees know the vocabulary and jargon the formators are fond of!
- Qualities of a good formator
- Integrity is what is most important
- Genuine spirituality that is reflected in real life situations
- Humanness that is transmitted to the individuals and group
- Competent and proper accompaniment
Bro Paul Raj SG
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