I feel so humbled to recall that I was involved in the area of formation for thirty-eight years. I have served as a resource person both in my province and at renewal centres.
- Most influential persons:
a. My father and mother—for their relational style.
b. My novitiate companion and a second sister in my congregation.
c. The spiritual guide of my younger years of religious life.
d. The life-experience over the years and the learnings from it have been my greatest teacher.
- Their secret:
Their openness to accept me just as I am with no Judgment.
- Best lessons from my family:
My father had a habit of getting the summary of our day as we sat around after evening prayer. The atmosphere was good…because we had great round of sing songs—both religious and movie songs. We would all be relaxed and my father got the most—both the good and the struggle out of us.
- Helps in religious life:
a) I came with a desire to be a Little Missionary. The inspiration came from a priest missionary who addressed us seniors in the school. That goal I never gave up. Come what may, I was determined not to give up that desire. The secret was in the realistic conversation my father held with me a few nights by the moon light.
b) any difficulties that I had to encounter—types of food, kind of work, strange rituals and western mannerisms, penances, customs of old—I took them as part of the training and saw them as companions. Saw them all as l part of missionary formation. The Real thing for me was I wanted to be a Little Missionary for Jesus.
c) Above all, I loved the Trinitarian Spirituality of our foundress and her gesture of placing all her daughters under the mantle of
5. Best help as a religious:
The emphasis that was placed on the spirituality of our Charism. The title “Our Lady of the Missions” honours in a very special way the Divine Missions, with a balance contemplation in action, and in the relational values of EQUALITY, MUTUALITY & INCLUSIVITY.
Other aspects that helped me were:
- COMMUNITY LIFE.
- Spiritual Direction
- Ministry experience.
- Missionary vocation—in the sense that I could be SENT anywhere. Openness to this missionary call.
- What I tried to give to formees:
My main focus in formation work was to consider the young woman as a human person. I BELIEVE FORMATION MUST TEST Vocational motivation of the candidate, bearing in mind the circumstances from where they come, and the language and culture differences, and love them sincerely. Keep in mind the Mind of Jesus in forming his disciples.
- He accompanied them—e.g., on the way to Emmaus
- He challenged—If you to be perfect….
- He also tested them—Do you also want to go away???
- He ate with them–have you anything to eat? The simplicity……
- He taught—blessed are the poor in spirit….
- He taught them to pray: Pray like this …the whole sprit and essence of the OUR FATHER—-
- He allowed them to be themselves…. Peter as Peter and John as John.
In summary: It was the process of accompaniment in strength and in weakness–BEING WITH, moving with—experience life and the learnings from it. IT IS PERSONAL ACCOMPANIMENT FOR EACH ONE …. Not group formation. YES, they were a group—but each feels I am unique as an individual. So the respect, love and compassion is each one’s right. But we have the permission to challenge to growth in maturity.
- Religious less mature than lay persons? How to help them mature:
My answer to this question is: “Respect the adult-to-adult relationship.”
Bear in mind those living together, to own together, conscious
Awareness; that as adults some of the human developmental tasks are their right, e.g., career choice, internalized morality, managing one’s life, having a family, nurture intimate relationships, expanding caring relationships in the wider society and having a say in the decision-making process. One must take responsibility to grow in freedom with accountability.
- Other suggestions:
a) Formative content of the individual congregation and its rightful place should be understood.
b) To lay a strong foundation in value-based living.
c) To create awareness in students about realizing self and the effect of right understanding.
d) To inculcate in students a sense of respect towards harnessing values of life and spirit of fulfilling social responsibilities
e) To enable students to lead a practical life adding value to human relations.
- Mistakes to avoid
I firmly believe that a formator should avoid taking this delicate responsibility without sufficient updated training. Formators must assist in empowering formees to discover the sources of unhealthy meeting of unmet needs.
- Qualities of a good formator
Be aware of dominant cultures controlling the life of the congregation. Believe that the charism is alive and has the capacity to incarnate in diverse forms in different cultures.
Walk in the path Jesus as the model and know that She/he is in FORMATION—a BECOMG PROCESS—all the time. It is ongoing.
Assume that many others share your dreams.
Talk to people of different ministerial experience.
Real listening with an open disposition brings about communion. I believe it brings people together. When people can experience that they are trusted for their human goodness…there is a mutual new beginning.
Sr Bernardine Joseph RNDM
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